...........
Ever since I was a kid the only thing that has been home to me is the stars... they are the only thing that has always been there for me. Sometimes they look different... a constellation faces a different direction, stars look brighter, different constellations are more visible than others... but they are always there.
Everything else has changed. Friends have come and gone many times over. I have never had a home... never felt I belonged... but things are somehow different in Red Deer, as I have told some of you before. I want it to be real, but after the life I have had I have no clue how to tell if it is. Everyone I have ever loved has left me, everyone I have let in fully has hurt me, everyone I have believed in has let me down. What makes this place different? Is it different? Or am I just starting to see the world through those mystical rose colored glasses everyone talks about?
I just want someone to tell me that things are going to be okay now. That I can stop running from life, that I can settle down, that soeone loves me.
I'm so scared none of this is real. How can I be sure? *sigh*
Everything else has changed. Friends have come and gone many times over. I have never had a home... never felt I belonged... but things are somehow different in Red Deer, as I have told some of you before. I want it to be real, but after the life I have had I have no clue how to tell if it is. Everyone I have ever loved has left me, everyone I have let in fully has hurt me, everyone I have believed in has let me down. What makes this place different? Is it different? Or am I just starting to see the world through those mystical rose colored glasses everyone talks about?
I just want someone to tell me that things are going to be okay now. That I can stop running from life, that I can settle down, that soeone loves me.
I'm so scared none of this is real. How can I be sure? *sigh*