home ehhh home
So I am back. And I am grateful for Bea for helping out with club numbers and such. Work is still ever so difficult and strenuous but on the plus side, I got loui and justin to cut 4 hours off my work day. Now I am down to 10 hours. Like a regular work-a-holic. On the other plus side, smile now paint my face every day. And every night i fall asleep with a smile on my face hugging one of my many teddy bears. Normally the huge one thats the size of a toddler. It smells of Tony and it gently rocks me to a deep sleep while I hear him whispering in my ear, "i love you." Even though he isnt with me. A silent lullaby keeps me happy. His every caring concern with my well being creates a joyous day in and out. "Have you eaten babe?" "no" "why not?" "no time, no money. Saving for the car you know that." "here" He hands me a 20. I push his hand away and tell him no I dont need it. He insists. Brandon grabs the 20 and says if she wont take it I will. "Make sure she eats and give her the change" He tells Brandon.
"I want to move to El Paso, help me find a house or apartment" he requests. I nod absentmindedly. He realizes I am just testing the waters right now. Not in a rush to get involved too quick after my heart break. But what a relief to find such a sweet guy. Family oriented, no drugs, rarely drinks, unfortunately he is a sucker for play station but hey, can't win them all. We've talked about my past and how I've been hurt. He doesn't make a promise to never hurt me because he knows pain is a part of life. A text message during a stressful day calms me down. I look into his eyes and see he is proud to say "this is my girl."
Loui and Tony were talking sunday night while I struggled with insomnia and Tony told me the following day "Loui said 'so you are dating Melissa now huh?' and I told him yes and he looked at me said "don't fuck her over." Loui and the rest of the guys watch me closely at work to see my ever changing moods. I do get moody but who wouldn't. Though I am happiest when Tony is on my mind. I find myself slipping away in thought thinking of him and losing track of work. I get teased but i really don't care. Well wishes have been sent my way. For now, I am happy once more. The pain from....HIM....has subsided slightly and it seems I am giving another chance at being happy. What frickin sweet joy.
And now, your moment of Zen:
Justin is going to pay for psychologist visits for the cat. Hehehehe
"I want to move to El Paso, help me find a house or apartment" he requests. I nod absentmindedly. He realizes I am just testing the waters right now. Not in a rush to get involved too quick after my heart break. But what a relief to find such a sweet guy. Family oriented, no drugs, rarely drinks, unfortunately he is a sucker for play station but hey, can't win them all. We've talked about my past and how I've been hurt. He doesn't make a promise to never hurt me because he knows pain is a part of life. A text message during a stressful day calms me down. I look into his eyes and see he is proud to say "this is my girl."
Loui and Tony were talking sunday night while I struggled with insomnia and Tony told me the following day "Loui said 'so you are dating Melissa now huh?' and I told him yes and he looked at me said "don't fuck her over." Loui and the rest of the guys watch me closely at work to see my ever changing moods. I do get moody but who wouldn't. Though I am happiest when Tony is on my mind. I find myself slipping away in thought thinking of him and losing track of work. I get teased but i really don't care. Well wishes have been sent my way. For now, I am happy once more. The pain from....HIM....has subsided slightly and it seems I am giving another chance at being happy. What frickin sweet joy.
And now, your moment of Zen:
Justin is going to pay for psychologist visits for the cat. Hehehehe