letting go
Title: Letting Go
Pairing: Kihae, Eunhae
Summary (short and not really all that sweet) : Hae cheats, and Kibummie finds out knows.
Warning: no quotation marks and no caps, sorry if it's confusing. but i wanted to try a new style.
i can't do this anymore, i'm sorry. donghae stared at the mirror. hard. he repeated the line once more for good measure and nodded to himself, satisfied with the outcome. he made his way to the other room where he was watching tv. what he found instead, was a sleeping hyukjae on the couch. damn, maybe now's not the best time. he covered him and placed a soft kiss on his head before he left.
where were you? i've been waiting for you for an hour and a half! kibum exclaimed when he saw donghae approaching him. sorry, had to make sure everything was set for your arrival back at the apartment, then i realized i didn't have enough gas-- he was cut off by the younger when he threw his arms around his neck. i just really missed you was mumbled against his neck. me too donghae said into kibum's hair as he brought his arms around him.
hae, i don't know what's bothering you, but could you please stop sulking? you're killing the mood. they were playing a video game, and the statement was followed by a shove from hyukjae. i'm not sulking, i'm just thinking. came the retort, followed by another shove. well then stop, or you'll end up losing again. hyukjae gestured wildly at the screen, causing donghae to put his master plan to work, in order to keep from losing. he tackled hyukjae and initiated a tickle war, digging his fingers into the other boy's sides. his attack was stopped when hyukjae kissed him, lightly. this lead to something more (as it often did) and it was only later, when hyukjae was snuggling into donghae's chest in a deep slumber, that donghae began to feel guilty. it was three days until kibum's birthday.
bummie, what do you want to do for your birthday? donghae was perched on the bathroom counter, watching kibum practice his facial expressions for the scenes he was shooting that afternoon. you, came the reply as kibum smirked at donghae's reflection. a slight shove. i know that, but what else do you want to do? they were silent for a while before-- anything as long as i'm with you. donghae hopped off the counter, threw his arms around kibum's waist , and nuzzled the space between his shoulder blades. you know i love you, right bummie? after no response, he pouted and pulled away. before he could get too far, he was pulled back, into kibum's chest. i love you too. a meeting of lips, just enough to brush them together. so much.
i know about you and him. about you and donghae. hyukjae's legs almost gave out from under him and he looked at kibum, who was busy studying the intricate patterns on the table. what followed was an incoherent jumble of words and hyukjae was unsure if he had imagined the other talking. when hyukjae sat down kibum repeated himself. i've known for a while now. why didn't you say anything? but it never made it out of hyukjae's mouth. he was struck silent when kibum finally looked up, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. it's stupid, but i'm just happy he still comes back. i'm scared that one day i'll wake up, and he won't be there anymore. and hyukjae almost felt bad. almost. i'm sorry. kibum nodded. and they were silent.
donghae hyukjae's voice carried through the phone that donghae balanced between this ear and shoulder as he continued browsing the shelves of the art store he was in. donghae, kibum knows. he knows about us. he nearly dropped the phone, but dropped a few books instead. ignoring the loud yell from the manager he asked. how did--- it was hyukjae who filled in the details. yesterday, he met me at the coffee shop i usually go to before work. donghae swallowed, it wasn't supposed to be like this. did he---- hyukjae interrupted again. no, he said he just wanted you happy. but he looked so broken and i wanted to tell him it was all my fault. i did that to--- it was donghae's turn to interrupt. no, it was my fault. i have to go. and he ran.
cars honked and traffic was stopped and there was a body. three phone calls later and donghae was in the hospital, hyukjae was in the chapel, and kibum was at donghae's bedside.
give him back and i'll stay away. give him back and i'll stay away. give him back give him back give him back pleasejustgivehimback. it was the only thing that hyukjae was thinking as he knelt before the makeshift altar. he took a brief pause in his chanting to take a breath, ignoring the tears that were streaming down his face.
donghae's eyes blinked open and he was scared. he jerked up but his movement caused another to wake. he found himself staring at kibum, who was rubbing sleep from his eyes. bummie i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. and he pulled the younger into his arms, despite the tubes tugging on his arms. he grew more desperate when he realized that kibum wasn't hugging back and his chants of i'm sorry showed that. and then like an answered prayer, kibum's arms wrap around him, holding him as if his world would end should he let go.
hyukjae stood just outside the room. he willed himself to stay away. he made his way down the hallway and out of their lives. his heart was never fully mine to begin with.