bittersweet
It's official. I am back in good ol' Massachusetts. Back to the ice, snow, rain, and cold.
My flight arrived at Logan approximately 8:25 this morning. My flight was delayed after rushing through security and hauling ass to the gate. I was so mad; that took away valuable kissing and hugging time from Brandon and I. The only plus to the whole flight was that I had sweet potato chips and I had a row to myself so I was able to sprawl out and actually get a bit of sleep. I didn't sleep much, but I definitely slept more than I would have if I was squeezed between a window and a creeper like I was on the way to LAX. Landing was the most bittersweet feeling ever, leaning more towards the bitter half, I've decided.
My parents, Jaime, my aunt Carol, and my uncle Bob were waiting for me at the airport. It was amazing to see them all again in person. I missed them all so much. We went out to breakfast at the Riverview. Absolutely delicious as always. Yummmmm. I forgot how much I loved that food. Afterwards my parents, Jaime, and I went to get our Christmas tree. The thing takes up basically half of the living room and I wouldn't have it any other way. Why get a Christmas tree if it isn't a TREE-TREE?! Every year my mom tries to convince my dad and I that we need to get a smaller tree. She fails every year, this year included. Success. I can't wait to put the lights on and decorate it. The rest of the night I just lounged around being I was, and still am, running of 3 hours of restless airplane sleep. There's still no way I will be sleeping anytime soon. My mind is racing and my thoughts are all over the place despite the fact I've been awake for what seems like forever. Oh well, time changes, and sleeping alone are what will cause my insomnia for probably weeks.
So far these past 17 1/5 hours have been an emotional rollercoaster. I'm happy to see my family and friends because I love them so much, but I miss Brandon more than words can describe. I can't fall asleep without yearning for his arm to even be just lightly brushing up against my hip. I'm also petrified of the feeling I am going to have when I wake up and he's not right beside me, let alone kissing the top of my back and neck. For lack of a better phrase: it's fucking stupid. I'm lonely with two other people and my dog within basically arms reach of me. I've never felt so needy. These past few months have made me fall head over heels in love with him. It may be the fastest and strangest "falling in love" scenario on history but I believe in it fully. I mean if you think of our story then it hasssss to be destiny. I mean, there is no other possible explanation for the past seven years to bring us where we are now. I'm sitting here feeling like he's going to walk in the door any second from work but in reality I know he isn't going to. I know he's 3,000 miles across the country and three hours behind me. The thought makes my stomach turn. I cannot wait until I see him when he comes back to Massachusetts on Christmas. I know I won't see him that day but that's fine because I will know that he is in within driving distance. I thought it was hard before when he went back to Cali in August after an amazing week together. That was insurmountable compared to how hard it was to walk away from him at the airport. I had to try so hard to hold back tears. It's just awful and it hasn't even been 24 hours yet. What am I going to do?
My flight arrived at Logan approximately 8:25 this morning. My flight was delayed after rushing through security and hauling ass to the gate. I was so mad; that took away valuable kissing and hugging time from Brandon and I. The only plus to the whole flight was that I had sweet potato chips and I had a row to myself so I was able to sprawl out and actually get a bit of sleep. I didn't sleep much, but I definitely slept more than I would have if I was squeezed between a window and a creeper like I was on the way to LAX. Landing was the most bittersweet feeling ever, leaning more towards the bitter half, I've decided.
My parents, Jaime, my aunt Carol, and my uncle Bob were waiting for me at the airport. It was amazing to see them all again in person. I missed them all so much. We went out to breakfast at the Riverview. Absolutely delicious as always. Yummmmm. I forgot how much I loved that food. Afterwards my parents, Jaime, and I went to get our Christmas tree. The thing takes up basically half of the living room and I wouldn't have it any other way. Why get a Christmas tree if it isn't a TREE-TREE?! Every year my mom tries to convince my dad and I that we need to get a smaller tree. She fails every year, this year included. Success. I can't wait to put the lights on and decorate it. The rest of the night I just lounged around being I was, and still am, running of 3 hours of restless airplane sleep. There's still no way I will be sleeping anytime soon. My mind is racing and my thoughts are all over the place despite the fact I've been awake for what seems like forever. Oh well, time changes, and sleeping alone are what will cause my insomnia for probably weeks.
So far these past 17 1/5 hours have been an emotional rollercoaster. I'm happy to see my family and friends because I love them so much, but I miss Brandon more than words can describe. I can't fall asleep without yearning for his arm to even be just lightly brushing up against my hip. I'm also petrified of the feeling I am going to have when I wake up and he's not right beside me, let alone kissing the top of my back and neck. For lack of a better phrase: it's fucking stupid. I'm lonely with two other people and my dog within basically arms reach of me. I've never felt so needy. These past few months have made me fall head over heels in love with him. It may be the fastest and strangest "falling in love" scenario on history but I believe in it fully. I mean if you think of our story then it hasssss to be destiny. I mean, there is no other possible explanation for the past seven years to bring us where we are now. I'm sitting here feeling like he's going to walk in the door any second from work but in reality I know he isn't going to. I know he's 3,000 miles across the country and three hours behind me. The thought makes my stomach turn. I cannot wait until I see him when he comes back to Massachusetts on Christmas. I know I won't see him that day but that's fine because I will know that he is in within driving distance. I thought it was hard before when he went back to Cali in August after an amazing week together. That was insurmountable compared to how hard it was to walk away from him at the airport. I had to try so hard to hold back tears. It's just awful and it hasn't even been 24 hours yet. What am I going to do?