(no subject)
Title: I Don't Want To Be A Murderer
Author: factualrealityy
Chapter: Chapter 6
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jalex, non-consensual Jack/William Beckett
POV: Third
Summary: A violent Jack serves time in prison, constantly haunted by the memory of what he did.
Warnings: Talked about rape, bloodd..
Disclaimer: We would have heard if this had happened, and I'm kind of glad it didn't. I don't own these characters. I just like to use them as puppets.
Author Notes: Sorry this took so long! Life got in the way, but I'm actually really liking how this chapter turned out.
master list ,
The next week was nothing short of hell for Jack. Everywhere he went, William had his hands in his hair, or his lips on Jack’s throat, or his tongue in his mouth. There was nothing he could do about it. The first time William had come up behind him and grabbed his hips and squeezed them, Jack had pushed him away and yelled at him, but the rage that momentarily flashed in those honey eyes had only been a minor warning as to what would come later. Once again, Jack spent the night curled up in a tight ball on his cot, afraid to move even slightly because of the tearing pain inside him. He remembered how sore Alex had been the morning after their first time, even though he had claimed otherwise.
He wanted to ask Alex if it had always been like this for him, if every night after they had been together Alex had laid awake staring at the roof with the burning pain inside of him. The dead man he loved more than anything hadn’t been back. The distinct chill of the room that Jack had figured out meant he was there hadn’t even been anywhere. For the first time, he felt truly alone in the prison as the looming force that was William Beckett controlled every aspect of his life.
What he learned, though, was that being the official prison bitch of William Beckett meant you had all the perks of being William Beckett. Anywhere he went in the prison, the eyes of his fellow inmates would follow him with the same awe struck mix of admiration and pure terror that they all did William. When William had his hand placed protectively on Jack’s lower back, Jack did find himself getting accustomed to the man’s touch. Perhaps he’d get to a point where things would become more equal, where William would touch him in such a way that it would feel good…but he doubted that would ever happen.
The pair of them sat together in the yard, William’s arm wrapped around Jack’s head and his hand brushing possessively through the young man’s hair. Jack kept his lips pursed, his eyes set on the spot along the wall where he had seen Alex before. William’s long fingers pulled on Jack’s hair, knotting slightly and pulling at the roots…nothing about it felt good.
“You never told me how you ended up here, Jack.” William said suddenly, tugging Jack’s hair to force his head back. The amount of strength such a skinny man had continued to baffle Jack, making him wince at the feeling in his scalp from the pull.
“I told you, the lawyer fucked me,” he muttered. The next pull to his hair, though, made him grimace, feeling strands pull from his skin as his neck was bent back unnaturally, exposing the entire expanse of flesh. It used to be so pale and unmarked, but since William had adopted him as his girl the skin had been mottled and discoloured. The difference in the marks was obvious, some were as new as that morning and still held the red tinge, others were dark purple with slight age, more were the chalky brown and yellow of uneven healing.
“Why do you g-gotta lie to me, Jacky?” Those lips were on his neck now, biting into the sensitive and already abused flesh. “You’re not innocent. You’re guilty. I can t-tell. So, what did you do? Rape? Murder?” The teeth sunk into his neck, and at the mention of murder William’s hand was cupping Jack’s crotch, s
squeezing in a way that made him want to pull away and cry.
“I…” The touches to his pants made him pull back taking a deep breath and waiting for William to mash his mouth against his, making Jack taste his tongue. He had seen William’s teeth before this. His mouth had clean and looked after, but it seemed like, since whatever this was had started, William had made a point of making every forced kiss as horrible for Jack as possible. Instead, the other man loosened his hold, crossing his legs at the knee and watching him closely.
“You…?”
“I don’t remember it.” He cast his eyes over to the fence again, finally seeing the blonde boy again. He stood on the other side of the fence, his fingers hooked on the chain link, soft lips parted slightly as if he was about to say something. William followed Jack’s gaze, watching the spot Jack was before looking back at him. “I remember him leaving for a party, and I remember waking up with blood on my hands.”
William watched him for a moment, the evil brown eyes seeming to scan Jack’s features to look for a lie. He then leaned his head back, laughing and returning his hands to the possessive hold behind Jack’s head. “So you walk like a guilty man, and you don’t even remember f-fucking doing it.” He laughed, the sardonic sound grating on Jack’s already frayed nerves. “You’re something else, Barakat.”
Practically pushing him over in the process, William stood, using Jack’s head as pushing post. The pain in his neck from having it bent back, combined with the surface pain from the hickies, made Jack groan and run a hand through his hair, leaning forward and resting his elbow on his knees and his head against his fingers. He was beginning to feel that Alex letting William find him the third time would have been a better solution than dealing with this.