Staying Friends VS. Burning Bridges
November 17th, 2010
Here are my thoughts on Friendships:
1. Good friends and boyfriends/girlfriends tell their friends the truth. If they're being a nasty person they should say so (in the kindest way possible). If A witness B being mean to C, but A does not say anything to B about it that's wrong. Especially if B asked A's opinion or was venting.
2. Good friends are not mean to their friends, especially AFTER it's been pointed out that they're being mean. They should apologize immediately and move on.
3. When friends get angry with each other they do not go on a deleting spree on every website they both use. They calm down then work it out later.
I personally struggle with keeping friends I'll be the first to admit it. I could sit here and point out all my bad qualities and blame myself but I won't. Things aren't always my fault. People make their own decisions.
I was trying to vent to a friend about how I felt that day. I said I was lonely. She replied everyone is. Then posted on facebook "If I wanted to be a therapist, I would have gone to school for it. For one day, I don't want to hear a single problem from anyone." You may disagree with me but that's rude. I told her that. Then it started into a whole nasty conversation where at one point she told me to "shut the fuck up". Then later on tumblr we were having a little post war so to speak. That's where I told her to stop being pathetic, and that I'm not going to excuse her mean behavior. She wrote "you're not as important as you think you are". That was the last thing she said before I realize she stopped following me on tumblr and I decided to return the favor. Then I checked facebook she deleted me from there. Then I checked Xanga she didn't delete me but she's not blogging on Xanga as much I am. Since her comment was in my inbox (and she had already deleted me from everything else) I deleted her. And I blocked from my public blog, because I flat out don't want her reading what I have to say. If she wants to contact me she has my phone number and she knows all the websites I use.
In my opinion, she took a step too far. I hope one of her friends or her boyfriend calls her out on it. That's not how a friend acts (which is also what I told her). I completely understand that people have days where they shut down. I get it. But there's a thing called politeness, it needs to be exercised. I feel she did me wrong, did I say things to make her more mad? Yes I did. I'm being honest.
Do I think she's going to come back and apologize? Hell no! I believe that this is who she is and it is in her nature. She will not change for me or anyone else.
In conclusion, to me a friend is someone who is loyal, has your back, is honest when you're doing something wrong or hurtful. To be a good friend you need to be there when they're annoying, causing you pain, and when it's not convenient, just because they need someone there and they're struggling. Sometimes you listen to them complain about the same thing everyday, sometimes you'll listen to all the good things that happen to them but never happen to you. Whatever it is be a friend anyway.
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
This is true.
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November 18th, 2010
I know their are times when people have to sit back and evaluate whether their friendships are worth it. However what I meant when I said be loyal is be loyal when they're at their worst because most likely that's when they need you most. Don't get me wrong is someone is flat out abusing you by all means cut ties. I don't know every single situation out there, so you have to be the judge on when to cut tires in your own life.
I have cut ties with this girl and will gladly not contact her again. She didn't value our friendship when told me I was being selfish, I'm not important, told me to shut the fuck up, etc. So I'm done. This post helped me get over it.
Now what does friendship mean to you?