This Town isn't Big Enough for Two , [part 7/11]
Title: This Town isn't Big Enough for Two | Chapter Seven
Author: faceoffamex
Rating: nc-17
Pairing: ryan ross / brendon urie.
POV: third.
Summary: Ryan Ross has cancer. It’s slowly taking his life and he’s only eighteen years old. His last chance at love slaps itself down in front of him when Brendon Urie transfers schools near the end of the second semester. But only the most complicated things for these boys could seem so simple to anyone else.
Disclaimer: i don't own the boys. sadly. just the plot idea is mine.
Beta: pavlovebby
Author Notes: well look at that. hemighttellhim. ;o
Previous Chapter: This Town isn't Big Enough for Two | Chapter Six
The end of school came and it brought summer with it. Goodbyes were never on the fun side, but another year of school would seem like just another day. Time went by so fast. Even when you were dying.
Stepping out onto the back balcony of his parents spacious top floor foyer, he slipped out the small open space of the sliding glass door. His mother looked up, smiling brightly at the sight of her son.
“Hey, baby. What’s up?”
The sun instantly felt hot against his back. Ryan settled into the seat, quickly sitting up and putting his hands on his knobby knees. He picked at the fabric innocently, keeping those hazel eyes turned down to watch his spider like fingers while they pretended to grab at a loose string of denim.
“Nothing. Just wanted to see what you were doing.”
His voice was near silent; too afraid to really get to the topic he needed to put forward and discuss. Ryan wasn’t used to getting what he wanted. Sure, people went easy on him and never gave him trouble, but that wasn’t the point. He never had the courage to ask for something to ever really receive it. Just because this was his mother; the woman he had lived with all of his life, didn’t mean he was comfortable around her all the time.
“Just reading. It’s a nice day. You shouldn’t be stuck in the house, sweetie. Go out. Do something.”
Her smile was more than comforting. His bother shifted in her seat, resting her book on her plump thigh as she watched her son fidget. Ryan still didn’t look up. His teeth went to his lip as they always did when he was looking for a feeling of comfort. Trying to relax back into the chair, he still seemed tense.
“Um, actually I was wondering if I could go to the lake house for the weekend.”
Finally, his eyes looked up in the slightest of glanced only to turn right back down to his lap. Running his tongue over his lip, he thought of what explaining he was going to have to do. And not just to his parents. There was a reason he wanted the lake house. It was quiet and an easy place for Ryan to get away to have some time to himself. He’d requested this before, but it was such a rare occurrence for his parents to allow him to be alone that they hardly ever allowed it. Swallowing, he looked up to meet his mother’s slightly concerned stare.
“Ryan, you know how I feel about you going up there alone-”
“I won’t be alone.”
He shook his head, feeling his knee start to bounce nervously. His mother was the one person he could explain things to. Needless to say, she knew about Brendon. But Ryan didn’t have to say anything to let his mother know about how he felt for Brendon. It wasn’t suppose to happen. He was supposed to be alone when he died. He wasn’t supposed to be falling for someone with only months left until he’d be sleeping for good. Swallowing against the lump in his throat, he sat up and dug his nails into the thick fabric covering his boney knees. It still wasn’t enough to for him not the feel the numbing pain from the pinch of his nails.
His mother sighed, pulling the glasses off of her face and sitting up to watch Ryan more closely. Her eyes scanned his face, trying to understand just why he was trying to get away with. Her lips pursed before she began to speak.
“Ryan, I don’t-”
“I have to. He has to k-know.”
He interrupted her again, trying not to let the biting urge to just sob get out of his body. Seeing the tears start to prickle in her son’s eyes, his mother stood and stammered toward the chair he was sitting in. She fit in the easy space considering Ryan was so tiny. Wrapping her warm arms around him, she drew Ryan toward her warm body. He didn’t reject it; only slipped closer as he silently let a few of the tears slide down his pale cheeks.
“It’s okay to let him get close.” She whispered, stroking his soft, chestnut hair.
“No it’s not.” He sobbed out, taking in a sharp breath of air. His hands fisted into her shirt, pressing his face closely into the comfort of the curve of her neck.
“Just because your sick doesn’t mean you have to be alone, Ryan.”
It was then when he could hear the quiver in her own voice. She stroked his hair, letting her other hand sooth over his back. He was quiet for a long minute, taking the time to breath it all in when he finally realized his mother knew that he had been isolating himself from any possible relationship. But what he was doing was wrong. Brendon didn’t know. He didn’t have the slightest clue that Ryan was sick. He didn’t need to be getting close to someone that was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, so to speak. Breaking his breathing with another soft sob, he pulled himself back and rubbed his eyes; ignoring that he was smudging his eyeliner. Breathing in with a thick throat, he swallowed and turned his dull eyes down to his thin hands. He analyzed them, hating how vein-y and sickly they looked. Sighing, he looked up.
“He has to know,” he repeated, pushing his lips together once he was finished.
His mother just simply nodded and slipped from her perch on the side of the chair. Standing up, she walked into the bedroom and retrieved the key for the lake house. Walking back out to the balcony and handing Ryan the key; she offered him a soft but sad smile.
“You call me or your father when you get there, okay? And don’t do something you’re not comfortable with, Ryan.”
She leaned down, kissing his covered forehead before sighing and settling down into the seat with her hands reaching for the book she had been easily lost in. It made Ryan wonder if she wished her life was replacing the main characters; switching places for a little while so she didn’t have to be the person she had to live the life of every day.
But he didn’t sit around to ponder about it any longer. He had other things to do. Standing up, he muttered a quiet thank you and retreated to his own bedroom to stare out the window for a few minutes. Why was he doing this? Because he thought it was better for him to get it out to Brendon before it was too late? Maybe. There was a difference. Telling other people had been so easy. It wasn’t until now that Ryan understood why it had been that easy to tell all those other people. He didn’t feel for them like he felt for Brendon. Even if Ryan didn’t want him to be, Brendon was different. He was so comfort with the boy. He’d allowed him to get close, despite himself promising that he would allow no such thing. But how could he deny it when he felt the same in return? That was exactly it. He couldn’t deny Brendon because he had strong feelings for him. That’s why it was so difficult to tell the other that his life was slowly crumbled with every passing minute.
Breaking in a shaky breath, Ryan retrieved his cell phone from the night stand hugging the side of his bed. Breathing in through his nose, he tried to calm down as he quickly worked his fingers over the buttons to dial that number that was uselessly programmed into his phone. He knew the number by heart. He didn’t need to take the time to skip around his contact to find that name. It was enough for him to see those letters forming the name once he got the number pressed in and hit send.
Bringing the phone to his ear, he began to gather clothes that he’d need to take with him. The nervousness set in while he grabbed the bag, working his way through sets of jeans that he should care more or less about. When he heard that rich voice muffle into the phone, Ryan couldn’t hold back the smile that eased onto his lips. He wouldn’t deny the feeling of his heart fluttering into his chest with a simple:
“Hello?”
“Brendon? It’s m-me. Ryan.”
“Hey, Ryan. God, it’s good to hear you.”
The blush settled over his cheeks, even with no one there to see it.
“Y-yeah. Uhm. I was wondering if you wanted to do something this weekend.”
Biting at his lip, he paused what he was doing to sit down on the bed. He folded his legs over one another, trying to ignore how grossly easy it was to just clash those boney thighs of his together.
“Sure! What’d you have in mind?”
“Uhm. Well, my parents were letting me go to our lake house. I wanted to know if you wanted to come?”
There was a short pause on the end of the phone. It was just a few seconds, but a few seconds was enough to sent Ryan’s heart bursting against his chest. He quickly tried to stumbling up an excuse about Brendon not having to come. Just as his lips stammered open, he heard the other’s sweet voice once again.
“I’d love to. When were you leaving?”
Ryan exhaled a large sigh he hadn’t been aware that he was holding. Blinking, but holding his eyes closed as he responded, he breathed in through his nose so it wouldn’t sound like he was panicking about this. He licked his capped lips and thought quickly.
“I wanted to leave tonight. If that’s okay with you. I was just packing now…” He trailed off, not wanting it to seem like had already knew that Brendon would accept. Because really, Ryan had been expecting the worst. He waiting in silence, feeling the nervousness bundle against his stomach. It was threatening to ache through his body and turn everything inside out in a distressed manor. But Brendon’s response kept his body at bay.
“Sure! I’ll be over in like, ten minutes. It won’t take me long to pack. And I’ll just walk over. I’ll see you then?”
Ryan’s smile widened some. He pressed his eyes closed together with ease and leaned back against his bed. A chill ran over his spine when he felt his too-sharp hips clash with the cold air surrounding the room.
“Okay. I’ll see you soon. Bye.”
“Bye, Ryan.”
Sliding the phone shut, he opened his eyes and looked around his medium colored room. He was smiling; as he normally always did when it came to Brendon. Sighing with a sort of relief, he pushed up off the bed and walked back to his closet to get the rest of the clothing that he was planning on needing for just a weekend alone with his… boyfriend? Friend? He didn’t know what to consider Brendon. He just knew he had feelings for the other that he wasn’t supposed to. By the way Brendon acted around him; with the little physical touches and looks it seemed like he returned those feelings.
A half an hour later, he was waving his parents off and joining Brendon in the car. He settled in the drivers seat and nervously stuck the key into the ignition. The seat belt slipped over his chest, easily bucking into place as if it was hardly moving. He glanced toward Brendon, feeling his lips curve into one of those familiar smiles that he wore around the other so regularly.
“Ready to go?” He swallowed his nervousness and waiting quietly for Brendon’s response.
The boys returning smile made Ryan’s whole body feel like it was being set on fire. He nodded, easing into his seat and comfortable as could be.
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
Ryan felt the hand settled against his thigh. That warm palm pressed to the denim, easily giving him a feeling of reassurance. His smile turned wider; more real then and it didn’t leave for the whole while he drove that three hours to the lake house.
Author: faceoffamex
Rating: nc-17
Pairing: ryan ross / brendon urie.
POV: third.
Summary: Ryan Ross has cancer. It’s slowly taking his life and he’s only eighteen years old. His last chance at love slaps itself down in front of him when Brendon Urie transfers schools near the end of the second semester. But only the most complicated things for these boys could seem so simple to anyone else.
Disclaimer: i don't own the boys. sadly. just the plot idea is mine.
Beta: pavlovebby
Author Notes: well look at that. hemighttellhim. ;o
Previous Chapter: This Town isn't Big Enough for Two | Chapter Six
The end of school came and it brought summer with it. Goodbyes were never on the fun side, but another year of school would seem like just another day. Time went by so fast. Even when you were dying.
Stepping out onto the back balcony of his parents spacious top floor foyer, he slipped out the small open space of the sliding glass door. His mother looked up, smiling brightly at the sight of her son.
“Hey, baby. What’s up?”
The sun instantly felt hot against his back. Ryan settled into the seat, quickly sitting up and putting his hands on his knobby knees. He picked at the fabric innocently, keeping those hazel eyes turned down to watch his spider like fingers while they pretended to grab at a loose string of denim.
“Nothing. Just wanted to see what you were doing.”
His voice was near silent; too afraid to really get to the topic he needed to put forward and discuss. Ryan wasn’t used to getting what he wanted. Sure, people went easy on him and never gave him trouble, but that wasn’t the point. He never had the courage to ask for something to ever really receive it. Just because this was his mother; the woman he had lived with all of his life, didn’t mean he was comfortable around her all the time.
“Just reading. It’s a nice day. You shouldn’t be stuck in the house, sweetie. Go out. Do something.”
Her smile was more than comforting. His bother shifted in her seat, resting her book on her plump thigh as she watched her son fidget. Ryan still didn’t look up. His teeth went to his lip as they always did when he was looking for a feeling of comfort. Trying to relax back into the chair, he still seemed tense.
“Um, actually I was wondering if I could go to the lake house for the weekend.”
Finally, his eyes looked up in the slightest of glanced only to turn right back down to his lap. Running his tongue over his lip, he thought of what explaining he was going to have to do. And not just to his parents. There was a reason he wanted the lake house. It was quiet and an easy place for Ryan to get away to have some time to himself. He’d requested this before, but it was such a rare occurrence for his parents to allow him to be alone that they hardly ever allowed it. Swallowing, he looked up to meet his mother’s slightly concerned stare.
“Ryan, you know how I feel about you going up there alone-”
“I won’t be alone.”
He shook his head, feeling his knee start to bounce nervously. His mother was the one person he could explain things to. Needless to say, she knew about Brendon. But Ryan didn’t have to say anything to let his mother know about how he felt for Brendon. It wasn’t suppose to happen. He was supposed to be alone when he died. He wasn’t supposed to be falling for someone with only months left until he’d be sleeping for good. Swallowing against the lump in his throat, he sat up and dug his nails into the thick fabric covering his boney knees. It still wasn’t enough to for him not the feel the numbing pain from the pinch of his nails.
His mother sighed, pulling the glasses off of her face and sitting up to watch Ryan more closely. Her eyes scanned his face, trying to understand just why he was trying to get away with. Her lips pursed before she began to speak.
“Ryan, I don’t-”
“I have to. He has to k-know.”
He interrupted her again, trying not to let the biting urge to just sob get out of his body. Seeing the tears start to prickle in her son’s eyes, his mother stood and stammered toward the chair he was sitting in. She fit in the easy space considering Ryan was so tiny. Wrapping her warm arms around him, she drew Ryan toward her warm body. He didn’t reject it; only slipped closer as he silently let a few of the tears slide down his pale cheeks.
“It’s okay to let him get close.” She whispered, stroking his soft, chestnut hair.
“No it’s not.” He sobbed out, taking in a sharp breath of air. His hands fisted into her shirt, pressing his face closely into the comfort of the curve of her neck.
“Just because your sick doesn’t mean you have to be alone, Ryan.”
It was then when he could hear the quiver in her own voice. She stroked his hair, letting her other hand sooth over his back. He was quiet for a long minute, taking the time to breath it all in when he finally realized his mother knew that he had been isolating himself from any possible relationship. But what he was doing was wrong. Brendon didn’t know. He didn’t have the slightest clue that Ryan was sick. He didn’t need to be getting close to someone that was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, so to speak. Breaking his breathing with another soft sob, he pulled himself back and rubbed his eyes; ignoring that he was smudging his eyeliner. Breathing in with a thick throat, he swallowed and turned his dull eyes down to his thin hands. He analyzed them, hating how vein-y and sickly they looked. Sighing, he looked up.
“He has to know,” he repeated, pushing his lips together once he was finished.
His mother just simply nodded and slipped from her perch on the side of the chair. Standing up, she walked into the bedroom and retrieved the key for the lake house. Walking back out to the balcony and handing Ryan the key; she offered him a soft but sad smile.
“You call me or your father when you get there, okay? And don’t do something you’re not comfortable with, Ryan.”
She leaned down, kissing his covered forehead before sighing and settling down into the seat with her hands reaching for the book she had been easily lost in. It made Ryan wonder if she wished her life was replacing the main characters; switching places for a little while so she didn’t have to be the person she had to live the life of every day.
But he didn’t sit around to ponder about it any longer. He had other things to do. Standing up, he muttered a quiet thank you and retreated to his own bedroom to stare out the window for a few minutes. Why was he doing this? Because he thought it was better for him to get it out to Brendon before it was too late? Maybe. There was a difference. Telling other people had been so easy. It wasn’t until now that Ryan understood why it had been that easy to tell all those other people. He didn’t feel for them like he felt for Brendon. Even if Ryan didn’t want him to be, Brendon was different. He was so comfort with the boy. He’d allowed him to get close, despite himself promising that he would allow no such thing. But how could he deny it when he felt the same in return? That was exactly it. He couldn’t deny Brendon because he had strong feelings for him. That’s why it was so difficult to tell the other that his life was slowly crumbled with every passing minute.
Breaking in a shaky breath, Ryan retrieved his cell phone from the night stand hugging the side of his bed. Breathing in through his nose, he tried to calm down as he quickly worked his fingers over the buttons to dial that number that was uselessly programmed into his phone. He knew the number by heart. He didn’t need to take the time to skip around his contact to find that name. It was enough for him to see those letters forming the name once he got the number pressed in and hit send.
Bringing the phone to his ear, he began to gather clothes that he’d need to take with him. The nervousness set in while he grabbed the bag, working his way through sets of jeans that he should care more or less about. When he heard that rich voice muffle into the phone, Ryan couldn’t hold back the smile that eased onto his lips. He wouldn’t deny the feeling of his heart fluttering into his chest with a simple:
“Hello?”
“Brendon? It’s m-me. Ryan.”
“Hey, Ryan. God, it’s good to hear you.”
The blush settled over his cheeks, even with no one there to see it.
“Y-yeah. Uhm. I was wondering if you wanted to do something this weekend.”
Biting at his lip, he paused what he was doing to sit down on the bed. He folded his legs over one another, trying to ignore how grossly easy it was to just clash those boney thighs of his together.
“Sure! What’d you have in mind?”
“Uhm. Well, my parents were letting me go to our lake house. I wanted to know if you wanted to come?”
There was a short pause on the end of the phone. It was just a few seconds, but a few seconds was enough to sent Ryan’s heart bursting against his chest. He quickly tried to stumbling up an excuse about Brendon not having to come. Just as his lips stammered open, he heard the other’s sweet voice once again.
“I’d love to. When were you leaving?”
Ryan exhaled a large sigh he hadn’t been aware that he was holding. Blinking, but holding his eyes closed as he responded, he breathed in through his nose so it wouldn’t sound like he was panicking about this. He licked his capped lips and thought quickly.
“I wanted to leave tonight. If that’s okay with you. I was just packing now…” He trailed off, not wanting it to seem like had already knew that Brendon would accept. Because really, Ryan had been expecting the worst. He waiting in silence, feeling the nervousness bundle against his stomach. It was threatening to ache through his body and turn everything inside out in a distressed manor. But Brendon’s response kept his body at bay.
“Sure! I’ll be over in like, ten minutes. It won’t take me long to pack. And I’ll just walk over. I’ll see you then?”
Ryan’s smile widened some. He pressed his eyes closed together with ease and leaned back against his bed. A chill ran over his spine when he felt his too-sharp hips clash with the cold air surrounding the room.
“Okay. I’ll see you soon. Bye.”
“Bye, Ryan.”
Sliding the phone shut, he opened his eyes and looked around his medium colored room. He was smiling; as he normally always did when it came to Brendon. Sighing with a sort of relief, he pushed up off the bed and walked back to his closet to get the rest of the clothing that he was planning on needing for just a weekend alone with his… boyfriend? Friend? He didn’t know what to consider Brendon. He just knew he had feelings for the other that he wasn’t supposed to. By the way Brendon acted around him; with the little physical touches and looks it seemed like he returned those feelings.
A half an hour later, he was waving his parents off and joining Brendon in the car. He settled in the drivers seat and nervously stuck the key into the ignition. The seat belt slipped over his chest, easily bucking into place as if it was hardly moving. He glanced toward Brendon, feeling his lips curve into one of those familiar smiles that he wore around the other so regularly.
“Ready to go?” He swallowed his nervousness and waiting quietly for Brendon’s response.
The boys returning smile made Ryan’s whole body feel like it was being set on fire. He nodded, easing into his seat and comfortable as could be.
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
Ryan felt the hand settled against his thigh. That warm palm pressed to the denim, easily giving him a feeling of reassurance. His smile turned wider; more real then and it didn’t leave for the whole while he drove that three hours to the lake house.