School, Mostly
Got a 99 on my Spanish test. I know I should be wildly rejoicing about it but getting a 99 is the worst - one point away from perfection, it is so stressful. It simply makes me angry. Angry because I could have been saved by something I knew but wasn't entirely sure if I should put it there or just leave it how it was - immigration or European immigration. I left the European part out, costing me that one point. It's not just that, but that I could have had 5 bonus points on the test if I hadn't left early the debate. (For every test we have a debate the day before and the winning team gets 5 bonus points on the test, if you haven't been eliminated, that is .) So apart from my team starting out with fewer people than usual - parents picked their kids up early because of bad weather - more people were taken out during the debate. Leaving us with maybe 7 people only half an hour into the class, most of them already eliminated or one wrong answer away from being so. So really, it was up to me and another guy to save us and the remaining un-eliminated people on our team. I had gotten all my questions right and knew almost every other one (as did he) then about 15 minutes before the bell rang I get picked uo too. That made me so mad. I knew that was the end of my team and my hopes for those 5 bonus points, which help incredibly much in that class. I reckon it's a nerdy thing to be mad about and I have no alibi. I reckon that it is a really good grade too and that I shouldn't bitch about, but I am.
After getting a good grade on Spanish, I arrive today to a Physics test. That was a massacre, really. I think it may well be my first F in years... Taking a wild guess, I'm going to say my last F was in Pre-Algebra on the 7th grade. I worked my way around Chemistry last year, passing it with a C, and I've gotten Bs in my last Physics tests, but I had no idea what I did on this one. I didn't get any of it. It sucks, because I do find it interesting and the theory I can deal with, it's the numbers and formulas part that kills me.
I failed my Pre-Calc quiz today too. The class isn't that hard and what we are dealing with right now is pretty easy, but I had absolutely no time to practice. I get out of the Physics test well into recess, sit for 30 seconds hoping to eat something with my Pre-Calc notebook in hand and the bell rings. I had time to maybe skim through the exercises for some minutes before the quiz, but my brain was on the verge of liquifying and nothing could gain access to it.
I have a history of not getting along with numbers. My first B - aka "my first bad grade" - was on Math in the 4th grade, and then it went downhill from there.
Still whining, but unrelated to school: I hate being so powerless. I wish I could make it all better for everyone around me, help them, change their situations. And I try but I'm not much help and it makes me sad.