(no subject)
So... I decided to post my script.
Yesterday I had a terrible knock to my confidence in my writing skill. The first assessment I had to hand in, a prose piece of 1000 words. Now, I would have thought that for a prose piece I would have gotten a decent mark, since that's my thing, but no. First assessment task, easiest marking, already workshopped it in class: 65%. What the heck is that? To say I'm disappointed is an understatement.
So here is my poor, poor script since you asked. I'm worried that some of the scenes don't quite run on from each other the way I want them to.
INT. WAREHOUSE DAY
ALEX stands in the middle of an empty warehouse. Her footsteps echo as she paces around, deep in thought.
JOEL enters and approaches her and when Alex turns to face him, he salutes.
JOEL
(Excitedly)
We got one!
ALEX
(Sighing)
Not another rabbit, I hope.
JOEL
(Sarcastically)
Haha. That’s funny. Catching rabbits does make this war seem distant, Alex, but-
ALEX
(Irritated)
How many times do I have to tell you not to call me by my first name, soldier? If this was a camp on the front lines...
JOEL
Sorry, sorry. Officer Hastain. This isn’t exactly a camp on the war front and we’re not known for following protocol.
ALEX
(smiling a little)
No. We’re not are we.
(Shakes head)
So what’s your report, soldier?
JOEL
We caught an enemy soldier.
ALEX
A serious report, Joel.
JOEL
I am a hundred percent serious, ma’am
ALEX
(Disbelieving)
You caught one of the reds?
JOEL
As surely as I stand before you as part of the green army
ALEX
What was he doing all the way out here? Spying?
JOEL
Well, we haven’t been able to get anything out of him yet. He demanded to see the leader of this base. But just between you and me, Officer Hastian...
(Whispering)
He looked lost.
ALEX
(Disappointed)
Just a rookie soldier who got lost? Damn, thought this would be my chance to make enough of a breakthrough to get me back on the front line.
(Sighing)
Bring him into the interrogation room, then. He might still have something.
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM DAY
A young man dressed in a red uniform, DAN, sits on a chair, handcuffed to a table in the middle of the room. A MALE SOLDIER stands over him.
Alex opens the door with a creak and enters, staring down at her clipboard. When she looks up, her eyes move to the soldier’s and she nods. The soldier removes Dan’s handcuffs then leaves the room, closing the door behind him.
Alex sits across from Dan at the table. She still hasn’t looked at him.
ALEX
Hopefully this is going to be quick and painless. Don’t make this too complicated and I can get back to more important matters.
DAN
I’m not important, then? Your men haven’t deemed me as a threat?
Alex looked sharply up at him and he cringed.
DAN
(Continuing quickly)
Yeah, I was hoping for the painless option, too.
Alex looks at Dan for a few seconds. She looks him up and down, taking in his appearance.
INT. CELL NIGHT
Dan sits on the floor against the wall in his cell. Alex enters with her clipboard and takes a seat on the bench.
Neither one of them talks, and when Alex looks over to Dan, he turns his head to look at the wall. When Dan finally returns the gaze, the two stare at one another for more time than is appropriate. Alex looks down to her clipboard.
ALEX
How long have you been a part of the red army?
DAN
(Nonchalantly)
Not long. In fact, you could say that I am not technically part of the army.
ALEX
So then what were you doing out here in the middle of nowhere in enemy territory?
DAN
I... kinda got lost.
(Hangs head)
(continues jokingly)
I didn’t ask for directions. Your typical male, right?
Alex glances over her clipboard at him disbelievingly.
DAN
(Continuing)
We were never introduced. My name’s Dan.
ALEX
(Stiffly)
Officer Hastian
DAN
(Teasing)
Oh come on, you can share your first name, can’t you?
Dan moves closer to Alex and sits on the bench beside her.
DAN
(Whispering)
Or is that classified?
ALEX
It’s Alex.
DAN
Short for Alexandra?
ALEX
Yes, but I don’t use...
(pause)
We’re in the middle of an interrogation here, Dan. We’re not meant to be friendly with one another.
DAN
(Sheepishly)
Oh, sorry. I’m not used to it. This is my first one, you know.
He gave her a charming smile and Alex tried to hide the fact that her cheeks were getting hot and red. She stood up abruptly.
DAN
(Continuing)
Though if I’m going to be here for a while, I thought that it would be nicer if we were friends.
INT. MESS HALL DAY
SOLDIERS in green uniforms sit at benches eating their food. Alex and Joel sit at a table alone.
JOEL
Come on, Alex. Don’t you see he’s into you?
ALEX
Of course I can see it, Joel.
(lowers voice)
I’ve been flirting, too.
(louder again)
And how many times do I have to tell you not to call me by my first name in front of anyone? What if there was a surprise inspection of this camp?
JOEL
(Sarcastically)
Because the General is so worried about what we’re doing out here? Didn’t he stick you this far out so that you wouldn’t be in his way?
ALEX
Look, I’m not an invalid
JOEL
No, but you got yourself injured. How can you expect an old friend to put you back in the action?
INT. CELL NIGHT
Dan and Alex sit side-by-side on Dan’s bed. They speak in hushed tones.
DAN
I can’t betray my own army and defect.
ALEX
Well, you’re still talking to me, listening to reason, which must mean that you want me to... leave with you. You know I can’t. I can’t ever fight for or even go along with anything that your people believe in because I don’t believe it myself. Then there’s the issue that I am a friend of the General’s. He’s the reason I got this job in the first place.
DAN
(Sarcastically)
And a cushy job it is, too. Maybe this is why we were on different sides of the war in the first place.
ALEX
I guess.
Alex stood up slowly and exited the room.
INT CELL DAY
ALEX
Why don’t you just tell me what is such a great cause that you are unable to defect, Dan?
DAN
It’s not that I believe that we are more right than you. It’s just that I have to be loyal. There’s no other choice.
ALEX
What does that mean? Are they threatening their soldiers now? You’ll have complete protection here, so there’s no need to worry about that.
DAN
You know it is not that. The red army honourably protects the king, and no one can betray the one they call their king.
ALEX
Why do you call him your king? He’s cruel and deceitful and-
DAN
Is that what you’ve been told? If he’s like that then why do so many people follow him without question?
ALEX
This conversation is going nowhere. I’m sorry that you can’t betray your king because of some misplaced loyalty.
DAN
I’m sorry you have to make up excuses for why you can’t follow a king.
Alex sighs, stands and heads for the door.
DAN
(hissing)
Wait.
ALEX
Yes?
DAN
Can I tell you a secret?
ALEX
(Intrigued)
What?
DAN
A secret. Meaning you can’t ever tell anyone else.
Alex reapproached him, standing above him, then kneeling and taking his hand.
ALEX
I swear.
Dan leans in and whispers something into Alex’s ear. As he speaks, Alex develops a look of horror and when he finally pulls away, Alex nearly topples backwards in her haste to move away from him. She stands and moves to the far corner of the cell, watching him.
ALEX
(Stuttering)
You - you - you’re -lying.
She inches towards the door, keeping her eyes on Dan, who hasn’t moved at all.
ALEX
(Continuing)
There’s no way... Oh crap .
Alex opens the door and hurriedly escapes.
INT. OFFICE DAY
Joel, ANOTHER SOLDIER and Alex all sit in the room, Alex on one side of the desk and the other two sit across from her.
JOEL
Tell us what he said to you.
ALEX
Look, he made me swear that I wouldn’t tell anyone, so I can’t. It’s not of military importance.
Joel gets out of his seat and walks around the desk. He grabs Alex and slams her up against the window, pinning her there.
ALEX
What are you doing? Stand down.
JOEL
I have orders to torture the information out of you if need be. Don’t make me do it.
ALEX
Stand down, Soldier
(softer)
Joel, please stop.
JOEL
Look. If he told you something important, then we need to know.
ALEX
I already told you that it’s not important. I swear to you as your friend that it is not important.
The second soldier got out of his chair brandishing a torture device. He approached and held it to Alex’s face.
ALEX
Come on guys. Seriously. Don’t make me break my promise.
Alex whimpered as a buzzing sound filled the air and the device was held to her neck.
ALEX
(Whispering)
He told me he loved me.
Tears slide down Alex’s face. Joel let go of her and she slid down the wall. There was a moment of awkwardness before Joel turned to the other soldier and they shared a high-five.
JOEL
Told you we could scare her into telling us.
Alex gives them a fake smile.
ALEX
Very funny, guys. I knew you weren’t going to do it.
JOEL
You know, Alex. We can take advantage of this situation. You can pretend you love him back, tell him you’ll break him out and go with him like he keeps asking you. It may make him tell us something he had forgotten before.
ALEX
(Smiling darkly)
Great. I was sick of this flirting game, anyway.
INT. CELL DAY
Alex kneels in front of Dan as he sits on his bed.
ALEX
Do you trust me?
DAN
Is there a reason I shouldn’t, Alex?
ALEX
Because I’m going to break you out and come with you.
DAN
(looking up nervously)
Can they hear this conversation?
ALEX
Its being recorded, but no one will look at it until tomorrow after we’re long gone.
DAN
Okay. But what reason could I possibly have not to trust you?
ALEX
I might lie to you. You have to tell me everything, though. Everything. You get it?