original fic with a name that i'm not gonna tell you coz its too embarassing to say
soryHad to do it. I don't have a lotta time before I have to have a portfolio ready if I EVER want to go to uni, and have had a massive push from Tania. But what the hell do I put into this portfolio. I mean, I know basically what stories to put in, but what parts? and what if it's not covering enough of my work? and what if I could do better? what if they don't like it? and what if... I should really shut up.
But just to clarify the point of this post, I'm gonna place a part of my story underneath this cut. If you've read my other story posts, you may recognise the characters, and this is definitely the story that is giving me the most grief over what to put in (it is, after all, my only finished story, and spans on forever)
So if any of you could help me out by telling me (might I add honestly) what you think of this and whether it is good or not, I would be so earnestly grateful.
Mikkifavo could barely walk. Mokalu was glad he had gotten to her when he did. She was no longer strong enough to put up any sort of fight against Sta. They all would have been lost. Right outside the door was the prone form of Luff, and Mokalu was glad that she had stayed there.
"Come on, Mikki," he mumbled to the girl he had hold of. Their powerful leader, reduced to being dragged along. Of course, it wasn’t as if this was an infrequent occurrence. Seemed like every second day something awful would happen to Mikkifavo...
Mokalu gently lowered her down next to Luff.
"What do we do now?" he asked her. Mikkifavo looked into his eyes. She had no idea either. That much was obvious from the look on her face. She seemed stricken. What could they possibly do to save Luff?
"Okay," Mokalu leant her against the wall and pulled Luff into an upright position. He placed Mikkifavo’s hands on her temples. "If you need strength from me, just take it," he assured her as she closed her eyes.
It wasn’t long before she had jerked back screaming, and Luff had opened her eyes to do the same.
"What?"
"Just..." Mikkifavo started to pant. "...Hurts, that’s... all."
Luff looked a little disoriented, but otherwise fine, and Mokalu was glad, it was distressing enough to carry one fragile friend, and he didn’t want to be laboured with another. Luff pulled herself out of Mokalu’s arms and stood herself up. Mikkifavo didn’t even make a movement, her attention seemed to be focused on her breathing and Mokalu took her arm to help her to her feet once more.
"One down, three to go," Mokalu said brightly, although there was nothing bright about the situation they were in. Luff looked into Mikkifavo’s face curiously.
"Did we do that to her?" she asked shakily.
"Her mother," Mokalu spat. "Don’t ever blame yourself for what that woman does to get at us, Luff. It’s not even slightly your fault."
Luff just nodded contemplatively and took hold of Mikkifavo’s other arm to lead her down the road.
As they approached Reevee, he was starting to stand by himself. Luff darted forward to help him, and he definitely looked weak as Mokalu lumbered towards them with Mikkifavo in his grasp. He looked at Mikkifavo, his eyes flashing with something unnatural, and he pulled himself from Luff’s hold and pushed her to the ground.
"The other two?" he asked gruffly. All Mokalu could do was stare, so he nodded and moved backwards, trailing around the corner. Mikkifavo held her hand over her heart as she watched him, her eyes pleading with him. There was silence all around, save for the noise of Mikkifavo’s gasping breaths.
"You’re kidding me," Mokalu uttered, "No. We can’t have..."
"We can try the others," Luff suggested, picking herself up and dusting down her clothes. "Next time I’ll be ready for-"
"I don’t think we’re gonna have the chance for a next time," Mokalu’s voice was soft and sad. "They’re..."
"Gone," Mikkifavo finished for him. She took a couple of deep, rasping breaths. "Lost," They could hear the despair in her voice.
"But we have to look anyway," Luff said stubbornly. Mokalu nodded .
"There was never a question of that."
The mood was solemn as the three trudged down the road together. They had been split up. Their worst fear since coming back together had been realised. They had found a connection so deep they couldn’t survive without one another, and now the proof was in Mikkifavo’s wheezing.
By the time they reached the alley in which they had last seen Sabador, she was nowhere in sight, just as Tocx had been missing.
"Too late," Mokalu whispered.
"No," came Mikkifavo’s gasping voice, "she’s... around..."
"Around? Or behind you?" there was no mistaking Sabador’s voice, no matter what tone it had recently taken on. Luff spun, but Mokalu was forced to move more slowly as he held onto Mikkifavo tightly.
Sabador stood a little way away, holding herself in a self-assured manner. There was no mistaking the confidence in the way she stood, so unlike the timid way she usually looked. Her eyes blazed with a dark fire, even in the dim light from the street a little ways behind them.
"Look at you, Mikkifavo!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands. "Reevee told me, but... oh, how the mighty have fallen. Except... you weren’t so mighty to begin with, were you? This might be a picture of you on any other day, your team always helping you to keep upright." Mokalu felt ashamed that these had been his thoughts earlier. They weren’t always... surely? "Usually that would be me by your side - no doubt holding you the tightest." she scoffed and seemed disgusted with herself. She scanned all three standing together.
"Gosh, we’re so weak, aren’t we? Look at you, a bunch of teenagers, still running. We could be so much more powerful, but we just don’t try to be. We run, we hide..." she sighed and looked ashamed. "... Still, we can’t live like this."
"Like what?" Luff was glaring daggers at Sabador, making her disapproval. Sabador just gave a scathing laugh. She ignored the fact that it was Luff who had spoken and addressed Mikkifavo. She moved right up to where Mokalu was holding her up and ducked down to look into her eyes.
"You and I, Mikkifavo. We will have to have another one of our stand-offs."
At her words, Mokalu launched forwards, protecting Mikkifavo.
"What!" he demanded. When Sabador stepped back, he hoisted Mikkifavo up higher. She groaned in between ragged breaths.
"Battle, Mokalu," she told him as if he was stupid. "I would just leave you all here, but we can’t go on without you, can we? And as for Mikkifavo here..." she sneered, "well, she never was much good without her team, but even less so now."
She moved forward again, but Luff stepped in front of her this time.
"You’re kidding me, right? You are NOT going to attack Mikkifavo." She eyed the shadows nervously and Mokalu looked openly at Reevee and Tocx who had emerged from the darkness. It did look like it was going to be a showdown, then. Sabador just laughed in her face.
"You expect me to fight my leader?" she said the last word almost scathingly. "I am still loyal to Mikkifavo no matter what you may think of me. She moved forward and Luff stumbled backwards to be in line with Mokalu and Mikkifavo while Reevee and Tocx stepped up beside Sabador. "The thing is," she used her patronising tone again; "we’re not a team unless we’re all on the same side. Either you join us or we go back to you." She gently took hold of Mokalu’s arm and led him to the wall, out of the reach of the small amount of light that had struggled in. She tugged Mikkifavo out of his arms and sat her down leaning against the wall. Then she sat down beside her.
"You ready for this, Mikkifavo?"
"No," Mikkifavo breathed, shaking as well as trying to breathe now.
"You know," Sabador said casually, holding onto Mikkifavo’s hand, "I remember when our positions were reversed," she looked Mikkifavo up and down once more, "... somewhat. Who’s good and evil now?"
"I... can see... the irony," Mikkifavo conceded.
"Great!" Sabador was slightly too enthusiastic as she put her hand onto Mikkifavo’s cheek and lifted Mikkifavo’s to her own.
"This time it’s just us, though," Sabador sounded a little shaky herself. Her eyes met Mikkifavo’s.
‘Now we’re both equal. It is a battle of the minds.’ Their last words were no longer out loud and Mokalu suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Reevee.
"What now?" he asked.
"It’s all or none, Mokalu," he said in a deadpan voice, "You get to at least try to keep what you’re holding on to."
"Doesn’t matter what we do," Mokalu shrugged, "Mikkifavo’s going to win anyway."
"You just keep telling yourself that."
But just to clarify the point of this post, I'm gonna place a part of my story underneath this cut. If you've read my other story posts, you may recognise the characters, and this is definitely the story that is giving me the most grief over what to put in (it is, after all, my only finished story, and spans on forever)
So if any of you could help me out by telling me (might I add honestly) what you think of this and whether it is good or not, I would be so earnestly grateful.
Mikkifavo could barely walk. Mokalu was glad he had gotten to her when he did. She was no longer strong enough to put up any sort of fight against Sta. They all would have been lost. Right outside the door was the prone form of Luff, and Mokalu was glad that she had stayed there.
"Come on, Mikki," he mumbled to the girl he had hold of. Their powerful leader, reduced to being dragged along. Of course, it wasn’t as if this was an infrequent occurrence. Seemed like every second day something awful would happen to Mikkifavo...
Mokalu gently lowered her down next to Luff.
"What do we do now?" he asked her. Mikkifavo looked into his eyes. She had no idea either. That much was obvious from the look on her face. She seemed stricken. What could they possibly do to save Luff?
"Okay," Mokalu leant her against the wall and pulled Luff into an upright position. He placed Mikkifavo’s hands on her temples. "If you need strength from me, just take it," he assured her as she closed her eyes.
It wasn’t long before she had jerked back screaming, and Luff had opened her eyes to do the same.
"What?"
"Just..." Mikkifavo started to pant. "...Hurts, that’s... all."
Luff looked a little disoriented, but otherwise fine, and Mokalu was glad, it was distressing enough to carry one fragile friend, and he didn’t want to be laboured with another. Luff pulled herself out of Mokalu’s arms and stood herself up. Mikkifavo didn’t even make a movement, her attention seemed to be focused on her breathing and Mokalu took her arm to help her to her feet once more.
"One down, three to go," Mokalu said brightly, although there was nothing bright about the situation they were in. Luff looked into Mikkifavo’s face curiously.
"Did we do that to her?" she asked shakily.
"Her mother," Mokalu spat. "Don’t ever blame yourself for what that woman does to get at us, Luff. It’s not even slightly your fault."
Luff just nodded contemplatively and took hold of Mikkifavo’s other arm to lead her down the road.
As they approached Reevee, he was starting to stand by himself. Luff darted forward to help him, and he definitely looked weak as Mokalu lumbered towards them with Mikkifavo in his grasp. He looked at Mikkifavo, his eyes flashing with something unnatural, and he pulled himself from Luff’s hold and pushed her to the ground.
"The other two?" he asked gruffly. All Mokalu could do was stare, so he nodded and moved backwards, trailing around the corner. Mikkifavo held her hand over her heart as she watched him, her eyes pleading with him. There was silence all around, save for the noise of Mikkifavo’s gasping breaths.
"You’re kidding me," Mokalu uttered, "No. We can’t have..."
"We can try the others," Luff suggested, picking herself up and dusting down her clothes. "Next time I’ll be ready for-"
"I don’t think we’re gonna have the chance for a next time," Mokalu’s voice was soft and sad. "They’re..."
"Gone," Mikkifavo finished for him. She took a couple of deep, rasping breaths. "Lost," They could hear the despair in her voice.
"But we have to look anyway," Luff said stubbornly. Mokalu nodded .
"There was never a question of that."
The mood was solemn as the three trudged down the road together. They had been split up. Their worst fear since coming back together had been realised. They had found a connection so deep they couldn’t survive without one another, and now the proof was in Mikkifavo’s wheezing.
By the time they reached the alley in which they had last seen Sabador, she was nowhere in sight, just as Tocx had been missing.
"Too late," Mokalu whispered.
"No," came Mikkifavo’s gasping voice, "she’s... around..."
"Around? Or behind you?" there was no mistaking Sabador’s voice, no matter what tone it had recently taken on. Luff spun, but Mokalu was forced to move more slowly as he held onto Mikkifavo tightly.
Sabador stood a little way away, holding herself in a self-assured manner. There was no mistaking the confidence in the way she stood, so unlike the timid way she usually looked. Her eyes blazed with a dark fire, even in the dim light from the street a little ways behind them.
"Look at you, Mikkifavo!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands. "Reevee told me, but... oh, how the mighty have fallen. Except... you weren’t so mighty to begin with, were you? This might be a picture of you on any other day, your team always helping you to keep upright." Mokalu felt ashamed that these had been his thoughts earlier. They weren’t always... surely? "Usually that would be me by your side - no doubt holding you the tightest." she scoffed and seemed disgusted with herself. She scanned all three standing together.
"Gosh, we’re so weak, aren’t we? Look at you, a bunch of teenagers, still running. We could be so much more powerful, but we just don’t try to be. We run, we hide..." she sighed and looked ashamed. "... Still, we can’t live like this."
"Like what?" Luff was glaring daggers at Sabador, making her disapproval. Sabador just gave a scathing laugh. She ignored the fact that it was Luff who had spoken and addressed Mikkifavo. She moved right up to where Mokalu was holding her up and ducked down to look into her eyes.
"You and I, Mikkifavo. We will have to have another one of our stand-offs."
At her words, Mokalu launched forwards, protecting Mikkifavo.
"What!" he demanded. When Sabador stepped back, he hoisted Mikkifavo up higher. She groaned in between ragged breaths.
"Battle, Mokalu," she told him as if he was stupid. "I would just leave you all here, but we can’t go on without you, can we? And as for Mikkifavo here..." she sneered, "well, she never was much good without her team, but even less so now."
She moved forward again, but Luff stepped in front of her this time.
"You’re kidding me, right? You are NOT going to attack Mikkifavo." She eyed the shadows nervously and Mokalu looked openly at Reevee and Tocx who had emerged from the darkness. It did look like it was going to be a showdown, then. Sabador just laughed in her face.
"You expect me to fight my leader?" she said the last word almost scathingly. "I am still loyal to Mikkifavo no matter what you may think of me. She moved forward and Luff stumbled backwards to be in line with Mokalu and Mikkifavo while Reevee and Tocx stepped up beside Sabador. "The thing is," she used her patronising tone again; "we’re not a team unless we’re all on the same side. Either you join us or we go back to you." She gently took hold of Mokalu’s arm and led him to the wall, out of the reach of the small amount of light that had struggled in. She tugged Mikkifavo out of his arms and sat her down leaning against the wall. Then she sat down beside her.
"You ready for this, Mikkifavo?"
"No," Mikkifavo breathed, shaking as well as trying to breathe now.
"You know," Sabador said casually, holding onto Mikkifavo’s hand, "I remember when our positions were reversed," she looked Mikkifavo up and down once more, "... somewhat. Who’s good and evil now?"
"I... can see... the irony," Mikkifavo conceded.
"Great!" Sabador was slightly too enthusiastic as she put her hand onto Mikkifavo’s cheek and lifted Mikkifavo’s to her own.
"This time it’s just us, though," Sabador sounded a little shaky herself. Her eyes met Mikkifavo’s.
‘Now we’re both equal. It is a battle of the minds.’ Their last words were no longer out loud and Mokalu suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Reevee.
"What now?" he asked.
"It’s all or none, Mokalu," he said in a deadpan voice, "You get to at least try to keep what you’re holding on to."
"Doesn’t matter what we do," Mokalu shrugged, "Mikkifavo’s going to win anyway."
"You just keep telling yourself that."