It's Time for Shakespearean Insults
I went to a site with these and found these in particular to be especially scathing. Enjoy! :)
1. And in his brain which is as dry as the remainder biscuit after a voyage, he hath strange places (Antony & Cleopatra)
2. Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life (Henry IV Part 1)
3. Drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be swine drunk, and in his sleep he does little harm, save to his bedclothes about him (All's well that ends well)
4. Hang cur, hang, you whoreson, insolent noisemaker (The Tempest)
5. He excels his brother for a coward, yet his brother is reputed one of the best there is. In a retreat he outruns any lackey, marry, in the coming on he has the cramp (All's well that ends well)
6. He is deformed, crooked, old and sere, ill faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere, vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind, stigmatical in making, worse in mind (Comedy of Errors)
7. His breath stinks with eating toasted cheese (Henry VI Part 2)
8. Live in the rank sweat of an enseamed bed, strewed in corruption, honeying and making love over a nasty sty (Hamlet)
9. My wife's a hobby horse (The Winter's Tale)
10. More of your conversation would infect my brain (Coriolanus)
11. No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe, I could find out contries in her (Comedy of Errors)
12. Put thy face between his sheets and do the office of warming pan (Henry V)
13. She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults (The Two Gentlemen of Verona)
14. She's the kitchen wench, and all grease ; and I know not what use to put her but to make a lamp of her and run her from her own light. I warrant, her rags and the tallow in them will burn a Poland winter. If she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world (Comedy of Errors)
15. Sweep on, you fat and greasy citizens (Antony & Cleopatra)
16. That is a perilous shot out of an elder gun (Henry V)
17. The food is such as hath been belched on by infected lungs (Pericles, Prince of Tyre)
18. This woman's an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure (All's well that ends well)
19. Thou has no more brain than I have in mine elbows (Troilus and Cressida)
20. Thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter (King Lear)
21. Why, thou clay brained guts, thou knotty pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow catch
22. You are now sailed into the north of my ladies opinion, where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman's beard (Twelfth Night)
23. You lisp and wear strange suits (Antony & Cleopatra)
24. You are the must chaff, and you are smelt above the moon (Coriolanus)
25. You are rough and hairy (The Winter's Tale)
26. Your peevish chastity is not worth a breakfast in the cheapest country (Pericles, Prince of Tyre)
27. You would answer very well to a whipping (All's well that ends well)
28. You ruinious butt, you whoreson indistinguishable cur (Troilus and Cressida)
29. Your beards deserve not so honourable a grave as to stuff a botcher's cushion or to be entombed in as ass's pack saddle (Coriolanus)
30. Your bum is the greatest thing about you, so that, in the beastliest sense, you are Pomey the Great (Measure for Measure)
1. And in his brain which is as dry as the remainder biscuit after a voyage, he hath strange places (Antony & Cleopatra)
2. Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life (Henry IV Part 1)
3. Drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be swine drunk, and in his sleep he does little harm, save to his bedclothes about him (All's well that ends well)
4. Hang cur, hang, you whoreson, insolent noisemaker (The Tempest)
5. He excels his brother for a coward, yet his brother is reputed one of the best there is. In a retreat he outruns any lackey, marry, in the coming on he has the cramp (All's well that ends well)
6. He is deformed, crooked, old and sere, ill faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere, vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind, stigmatical in making, worse in mind (Comedy of Errors)
7. His breath stinks with eating toasted cheese (Henry VI Part 2)
8. Live in the rank sweat of an enseamed bed, strewed in corruption, honeying and making love over a nasty sty (Hamlet)
9. My wife's a hobby horse (The Winter's Tale)
10. More of your conversation would infect my brain (Coriolanus)
11. No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe, I could find out contries in her (Comedy of Errors)
12. Put thy face between his sheets and do the office of warming pan (Henry V)
13. She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults (The Two Gentlemen of Verona)
14. She's the kitchen wench, and all grease ; and I know not what use to put her but to make a lamp of her and run her from her own light. I warrant, her rags and the tallow in them will burn a Poland winter. If she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world (Comedy of Errors)
15. Sweep on, you fat and greasy citizens (Antony & Cleopatra)
16. That is a perilous shot out of an elder gun (Henry V)
17. The food is such as hath been belched on by infected lungs (Pericles, Prince of Tyre)
18. This woman's an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure (All's well that ends well)
19. Thou has no more brain than I have in mine elbows (Troilus and Cressida)
20. Thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter (King Lear)
21. Why, thou clay brained guts, thou knotty pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow catch
22. You are now sailed into the north of my ladies opinion, where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman's beard (Twelfth Night)
23. You lisp and wear strange suits (Antony & Cleopatra)
24. You are the must chaff, and you are smelt above the moon (Coriolanus)
25. You are rough and hairy (The Winter's Tale)
26. Your peevish chastity is not worth a breakfast in the cheapest country (Pericles, Prince of Tyre)
27. You would answer very well to a whipping (All's well that ends well)
28. You ruinious butt, you whoreson indistinguishable cur (Troilus and Cressida)
29. Your beards deserve not so honourable a grave as to stuff a botcher's cushion or to be entombed in as ass's pack saddle (Coriolanus)
30. Your bum is the greatest thing about you, so that, in the beastliest sense, you are Pomey the Great (Measure for Measure)