(no subject)
It amazes me how many parents have a difficult time with the concept of their children having actual, you know, LIVES that do not include their parents. I think that, theoretically at least, parents have probably the best idea of what's best for their children... outside of the child himself.
BUT. Nobody bothers to talk to the children, to get their input... nor does anyone bother to talk to people who've gone through similar experiences in childhood, and find out what did and did not help.
This is sparked by an email I got on one of my listservs... there's a research project being done to determine how best to equip deaf/Deaf children with... are you ready for this? Resilience.
So they're surveying parents. They're surveying teachers. But nobody thinks to survey the CHILDREN, or the younger deaf adults who have more recently BEEN where those children are.
Holy fuck. Trust me, my parents had NO FLIPPING CLUE what would have fostered resilience in me... nor did any of my teachers. And in today's environment of overworked, overburdened, underpaid teachers... they have even LESS opportunity to observe what's going on in their students.
This just astounds me, and yet it does not; parents (and I include myself in that number) have a difficult time envisioning that they do not know What Is Best for their own child. The reality, though, is that without the child's input and insight, they often don't make good decisions.
Does this mean kids should be captains of their own ship? Hell, no. Children need structure and rules and framework. That framework should, however, at least have the flexibility to take individual children's needs into account, in particular when that child has some sort of disability or special barrier to overcome.
I'm just as guilty as the next parent of having a hard time with my children's separation from me, from what I've brought them up to be. But I'd like to think I'm a little less guilty of holding on to my preconceived notions of what's best for them. I'd like to think I'm willing to listen to them (when they're speaking calmly and reasonably... I won't tolerate the screaming and tantrums) and hear their side of things, and take that into account as much as I can.
So. I fired off a response to the listserv, and to the person who posted the survey information, encouraging them to survey at least the younger deaf adults.
I hope someone listens.
BUT. Nobody bothers to talk to the children, to get their input... nor does anyone bother to talk to people who've gone through similar experiences in childhood, and find out what did and did not help.
This is sparked by an email I got on one of my listservs... there's a research project being done to determine how best to equip deaf/Deaf children with... are you ready for this? Resilience.
So they're surveying parents. They're surveying teachers. But nobody thinks to survey the CHILDREN, or the younger deaf adults who have more recently BEEN where those children are.
Holy fuck. Trust me, my parents had NO FLIPPING CLUE what would have fostered resilience in me... nor did any of my teachers. And in today's environment of overworked, overburdened, underpaid teachers... they have even LESS opportunity to observe what's going on in their students.
This just astounds me, and yet it does not; parents (and I include myself in that number) have a difficult time envisioning that they do not know What Is Best for their own child. The reality, though, is that without the child's input and insight, they often don't make good decisions.
Does this mean kids should be captains of their own ship? Hell, no. Children need structure and rules and framework. That framework should, however, at least have the flexibility to take individual children's needs into account, in particular when that child has some sort of disability or special barrier to overcome.
I'm just as guilty as the next parent of having a hard time with my children's separation from me, from what I've brought them up to be. But I'd like to think I'm a little less guilty of holding on to my preconceived notions of what's best for them. I'd like to think I'm willing to listen to them (when they're speaking calmly and reasonably... I won't tolerate the screaming and tantrums) and hear their side of things, and take that into account as much as I can.
So. I fired off a response to the listserv, and to the person who posted the survey information, encouraging them to survey at least the younger deaf adults.
I hope someone listens.