Grandma died last night.
And I'm sad, but not too sad. What's more devistating is that my brother and I never really knew her, or anyone else on my dad's side. We knew mom's side...we grew up with them. But as far as my dad's side goes, I met my grandmother maybe 4 times in my life. And out of 7 aunts and uncles who are all married with kids, I can name off of 1 of my dad's brothers, his wife, and sometimes I can remember their two kids' names. These are the only other people that I've met, and I've only seen them twice.
I know my uncle looks like an older version of dad without any teeth, and him and his wife are chain smokers who won't even stop to hold their grandchild. I know one of my cousins (Jeremiah, now is one of those times I can remember his name) is a police officer, he's quiet, and I think he may be getting married? And my other cousin (now is one of those times I can't remember his name) is an ass with two kids. He thinks he's funny, but both times I've seen him, he's only made me want hit him and walk away from him forever.
But I know there's so many more people I just haven't seen, met, or even know about. Just today, I found out that some of my cousins have children older than me. Who knew? I don't even know how many cousins I actually have on that side. I know of two, and considering someone apparently has a child older than me, there has to be at least 3. But there could be 10, 20, 30 cousins that I'll probably never know existed. A little under a year ago an aunt I never knew existed died. I wish I could have been sad about that. But I was only upset because I knew my dad was. That probably lasted 5 minutes.
I know they're going to cremate her. I think it's supposed to be a short service. If I go, I'd be surrounded by people I never knew, and at the same time surrounded by family. I'm feeling kind of guilty for not wanting to go.
I know my uncle looks like an older version of dad without any teeth, and him and his wife are chain smokers who won't even stop to hold their grandchild. I know one of my cousins (Jeremiah, now is one of those times I can remember his name) is a police officer, he's quiet, and I think he may be getting married? And my other cousin (now is one of those times I can't remember his name) is an ass with two kids. He thinks he's funny, but both times I've seen him, he's only made me want hit him and walk away from him forever.
But I know there's so many more people I just haven't seen, met, or even know about. Just today, I found out that some of my cousins have children older than me. Who knew? I don't even know how many cousins I actually have on that side. I know of two, and considering someone apparently has a child older than me, there has to be at least 3. But there could be 10, 20, 30 cousins that I'll probably never know existed. A little under a year ago an aunt I never knew existed died. I wish I could have been sad about that. But I was only upset because I knew my dad was. That probably lasted 5 minutes.
I know they're going to cremate her. I think it's supposed to be a short service. If I go, I'd be surrounded by people I never knew, and at the same time surrounded by family. I'm feeling kind of guilty for not wanting to go.