(no subject)
Do you remember that guy I was telling you about? The stem cell cancer guy? My friend just called me tonight. “Daniel’s probably not going to live through the night." she said. "The doctor’s were waiting on the results from the first round of chemo which would be in tomorrow and if they were bad, they were gonna pull him on life support. But now they don’t see him living through the night." And her voice didn’t even falter; although I’m sure her guts were all knotted up. It’s just weird. I had a dream about him the other night. I walked past the restaurant he used to work at, he was in there, and he was perfectly fine. And I asked him, I said, aren’t you supposed to have cancer or something? And he just laughed and asked who told me that, and I was like, oh, my mistake. And we just sat down and ate Parmesan veal cutlets. He was a cook. He is a cook, he’s not dead yet. And we had a really pleasant conversation. He made me laugh, I made him think, he touched my hand, and it was all very tangible. And when I woke up in the morning, I completely forgot that he had cancer. And then I get this arbitrary call saying he probably won’t be alive in the morning. And she seemed all right. It’s all very surreal. We weren’t even friends really. I didn’t even like him all that much. He kind of fucked over a bunch of my friends. But he’s a good person. He did some shitty things, but he’s a good person. It’s just like this blatant smack in the face about how fleeting life is. It’s even weirder how a couple of weeks ago we were all worried about Camille’s health, like it was a precursor or something. All of my experience with things like this has been pretty distant, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s really sad. And it doesn’t make it any less bizarre.