(no subject)
i think it's serenely symbolic that the first snow here fell the morning after daniel's death. i think i'm in a vague state of shock. i never really know how to comprehend something like this. it's just at that boundary that it's distant enough that it shouldn't really affect me...but it still does. and i'm just so sad for camille and sarah...and for his family. and for him. 21 is just too young to die. and it was all so sudden. i went to mutants to try and get my mind off of it all but it's just constantly there, sitting in me like this heavy weight. my entire body feels a million times heavier than usual and my stomach is all tied up in knots. i don't know where exactly to put this. i knew him, and occasionally, i actually enjoyed his company. it's so weird to think that i'll never see him again. not that i ever thought that i would, but it was still a possibility, and now it's not. i don't know what to do. i wish i could be there for camille. i wish i could hop on a plane and fly to california and just sit with her and reminisce about him and let her cry on my shoulder. or just sit there and be completely silent. i feel like there is nothing i can do so many miles away. i feel so restless and helpless. rest in peace daniel velasco...