Well she did and she does and she'll do it again
The stress I've stored since last December;
now, it doesn't matter.
I've learned to leave it in my past.
And I feel good about the future,
and this clarity I've never had.
You are the bounce in my step,
the burst of blood in my chest,
the prayer I've kept in my head.
You are the knock of my knees,
the swollen sound of each song
In the morning, you are the daybreak,
and I am glad.
At night, you are the dream
I fall asleep to have.
Long story short, I need to get it together.
Let's find a bar
So dark we forget who we are
Where all the scars from the
Nevers and maybes die
I want to go to Reed. In reality, I may end up going to UW. We'll see. I think it's funny that I get money to go to school just because my mom happens to be Hawaiian. Whatev. (David Sullivan- I am a buffet of manliness! -Yay for inside jokes at work-)
Yes, I made a decision. Me. Only problem is, I have no idea what I want to study. Actually, that's not true. I know what I want to study; philosophy, music, biology, english, theology, sociology, and I want to get better at math. But how am I supposed to pick something and go with it? What I would ideally like to do is write, but I know that- 1. It's not very lucrative. 2. Who's to say I would survive and 3. I harbor a pretty strong sense of dislike for any novels written in the last 50 years. Contemporary literature bothers me. My solution to this problem is that I could claim that I channeled some poor, unfortunate soul from the 1700's and wrote for him. Yeah? Yeah!
I want to be able to say that this isn't overwhelming and that I'm not worried but it is and I am.
New York looks like it may be moved to May for convenience, dun dun dun. I really miss my uncle. Too much.
I swear, in a certain song, it sounds like he sings/yells "burning like a retard" and it makes me giggle everytime. (Note: I looked up the lyrics and it DOES say retard, but it's "grinning like a retard," not burning like one. Oh well :] )
I need to figure out the final stuff for transferring to TJ because I am convinced that is what will make me infinitely happy. I love all of those kids so so so much. I wish I could start over from 9th grade though, and do IB and everything. I kinda feel like I missed out on a lot of stuff but I'll live. I think I might want to do musical theater because I miss singing and being with a group of people who like to sing and all that jazz. And missing things isn't so fun.
I think being humble is a very important quality. There is not a parity between confidence/self-awareness and being full of yourself. I hate zealous praise. Occasionally I can accept it, but otherwise, I can'ttttt standddd it. I feel that insecurity is self-inflicted, and I will not feed into that. I feel bad for people who feel the need to boast their talents (or lack-there-of...).
I need to stop being so impulsive. I should make a list of things I need to get done and stick to, because otherwise, I feel as though I may lose everything! Everything! How is that for melodrama?
This was very narcissistic. Count all the "I" statements and perish at the selfish-ness of it all. "And I, needless to say, need less to say."
Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
So weird to be back here
The years go on and let me tell you what;
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it...
now, it doesn't matter.
I've learned to leave it in my past.
And I feel good about the future,
and this clarity I've never had.
You are the bounce in my step,
the burst of blood in my chest,
the prayer I've kept in my head.
You are the knock of my knees,
the swollen sound of each song
In the morning, you are the daybreak,
and I am glad.
At night, you are the dream
I fall asleep to have.
Long story short, I need to get it together.
Let's find a bar
So dark we forget who we are
Where all the scars from the
Nevers and maybes die
I want to go to Reed. In reality, I may end up going to UW. We'll see. I think it's funny that I get money to go to school just because my mom happens to be Hawaiian. Whatev. (David Sullivan- I am a buffet of manliness! -Yay for inside jokes at work-)
Yes, I made a decision. Me. Only problem is, I have no idea what I want to study. Actually, that's not true. I know what I want to study; philosophy, music, biology, english, theology, sociology, and I want to get better at math. But how am I supposed to pick something and go with it? What I would ideally like to do is write, but I know that- 1. It's not very lucrative. 2. Who's to say I would survive and 3. I harbor a pretty strong sense of dislike for any novels written in the last 50 years. Contemporary literature bothers me. My solution to this problem is that I could claim that I channeled some poor, unfortunate soul from the 1700's and wrote for him. Yeah? Yeah!
I want to be able to say that this isn't overwhelming and that I'm not worried but it is and I am.
New York looks like it may be moved to May for convenience, dun dun dun. I really miss my uncle. Too much.
I swear, in a certain song, it sounds like he sings/yells "burning like a retard" and it makes me giggle everytime. (Note: I looked up the lyrics and it DOES say retard, but it's "grinning like a retard," not burning like one. Oh well :] )
I need to figure out the final stuff for transferring to TJ because I am convinced that is what will make me infinitely happy. I love all of those kids so so so much. I wish I could start over from 9th grade though, and do IB and everything. I kinda feel like I missed out on a lot of stuff but I'll live. I think I might want to do musical theater because I miss singing and being with a group of people who like to sing and all that jazz. And missing things isn't so fun.
I think being humble is a very important quality. There is not a parity between confidence/self-awareness and being full of yourself. I hate zealous praise. Occasionally I can accept it, but otherwise, I can'ttttt standddd it. I feel that insecurity is self-inflicted, and I will not feed into that. I feel bad for people who feel the need to boast their talents (or lack-there-of...).
I need to stop being so impulsive. I should make a list of things I need to get done and stick to, because otherwise, I feel as though I may lose everything! Everything! How is that for melodrama?
This was very narcissistic. Count all the "I" statements and perish at the selfish-ness of it all. "And I, needless to say, need less to say."
Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
So weird to be back here
The years go on and let me tell you what;
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it...