Facebook is good at reminding me what I'm missing out on.
I get jealous really easily. One time I was peeing in a public restroom, and I noticed that the guy next to me had a urinal cake in his urinal whereas mine didn't. Immediately, I lunged at the fellow, attempting to strangle him. Luckily for him, I slipped on my own pee puddle (I was too busy looking at his toilet to aim properly into mine), and he walked away unaware of his close encounter with death by my unwashed hands.
For a year I believed I was in love with someone, but she told I was wrong.
I enjoy reading. I used to hate it, but that was before I mistook dog food for cereal. I just assumed that the picture of the dog on the packaging was one of those stupid cereal mascots.
I am not above celebrity worship. I try not to be engrossed in a stranger's life, but I have learned that reading a famous person's Wikipedia article somehow makes their sex tape much more satisfying to watch. You might call me a pervert, which brings me to my next point.
I'm not a pervert. I'm glad we cleared this up.
For a year I believed I was in love with someone, but she told I was wrong.
I enjoy reading. I used to hate it, but that was before I mistook dog food for cereal. I just assumed that the picture of the dog on the packaging was one of those stupid cereal mascots.
I am not above celebrity worship. I try not to be engrossed in a stranger's life, but I have learned that reading a famous person's Wikipedia article somehow makes their sex tape much more satisfying to watch. You might call me a pervert, which brings me to my next point.
I'm not a pervert. I'm glad we cleared this up.