On the road to Ugly
Have you ever seen a train wreck unfold before your eyes? I mean that in the emotional sense. Well, a couple of days ago my mother called and said, "Now, S-..." That's how all terrible conversations start. There are clue words like "Now..., Listen..., I love you..." Okay, maybe not the last, but that can certainly lead to some dangerous waters...just ask my husband. \
"Now, S-, I just want you to think about baptizing the baby. It's something your father and I want and when the kid asks later on in life whether or not s/he was baptized, you can just say yes and blame it on the grandparents." and then promptly "reminded" me how willful and set my father is on this matter. This is the conversation that I have dreaded and thrust to the darkest corners of my brain because it is going to cause a gigantic headache and potentially a lot of heartache.
Well, I got off the phone and I talked to J. We seriously discussed it. For hours. The final answer was no for reasons that are irrelevant for public consumption. I just hope that my parents will accept that answer and not sever our relationship with them, because we want them to be a part of their first and only grandchild's life. We want them to talk about their religious beliefs and to share memories and love and laughter with tic tac, but we do NOT want them to decide that our child is immediately a member of one religion or another.
I spoke to my brother about it. He respectfully disagrees with our decision. He said, "You should just do it to appease your parents. You know how they are." Which is another salient point against giving in to make peace on a topic that is incredibly personal to J and I. I said as much. He replied, "You know, I don't think that you would really object. I think this is a Principle Thing for J and that you are backing him." My brother might be right and can be incredibly insightful, but I have objections to baptizing before tic tac has a chance to make that choice for himself. My beliefs do not see a "get out of hell free" act as required. "Why chance it?" My mother and brother ask. That seems overtly superstitious and renders the ritual meaningless, in my opinion. So why not wait and if the kid comes up Christian, then let him devote himself to the Christian God. Ugh. I hate religion.
Today was another round of doctors tests. All is healthy and happy.