Maybe this is why I hate men..
There is so much I wish I could say to my father. It feels so weird to me how my father doesn't support me. I haven't talked to him on the phone in almost six months. Maybe this is because I have a prepaid phone? That I pay for myself. I lost my fucking job at CPK because I don't have time for it during school or a way to get there, and didn't want to ride the Charlotte bus anymore because that shit is dangerous sometimes! So basically, I lived off the rest of my loans (about 600 bucks) for the whole semester. And now I am out of money. So now my mother is supporting me (LIKE USUAL, don't forget my two younger sisters that ALSO recieve money from her, THEY are also phoneless..) with the little amount of money she fucking has. My mom works harder than anyone I have ever known and it sickens me how she has had to raise and support my sisters and I all alone for 7 years with nothing from him than a child support check each month.. Anyways, the point is, ALL OF MY FRIENDS HAVE FATHERS CONSTANTLY IN CONTACT WITH THEIR DAUGTHERS, GIVING THEM WHATEVER THEY WANT, ACTUALLY CARING ABOUT THEM AND WONDERING WHAT IS GOING ON IN THEIR LIFE. I get so jealous sometimes, it just isn't fair.
We e-mail, at best, if you wanna call it that. It doesn't sound like a father/daughter but a business transaction. I convinced him, FINALLY: He's buying me a moped. That's sweet, right? If he wasn't such a dick about it. He doesn't even KNOW that he is an asshole and that is seriously the worst part. He thinks he is doing a "good thing":
"After you graduate it goes to Shiloh, and then to Nolynn, and then back to me so I can save gas because I am going to need to by then."
.. WHAT? First of all, how long does he think a moped is gonna last? Second of all, I have to give it up in a YEAR and it goes back to him??? That sentence shows he will never buy Shiloh or Nolynn any mode of transportation. While he has all his fucking projects and snowmobiles and that weirdo Cindy that he is STILL living with after all these years (they will be common law married this July). From what I know they constantly vacation, drink booze, and eat out. FUCK that!
I am also going to Vietnam in less than a MONTH!!! ...So I dropped him a line:
"I think I asked you for the moped at the wrong time because I am going to Vietnam so soon."
"Yeah you probably should of thought about that. Good luck! But I am still going to by the scooter."
I don't even know what to say about him anymore. I would like to scream at him for all the nothing he has done in my life but what the hell is the point? That would never change anything except make me feel better.. maybe. I hate him.
All I have is my mother and my friends. And sometimes to my two sisters.. but they are younger than me so I can't really look to them for help and support you know? They never talk to me either anyways.. And even sometimes to my friends, sometimes I feel my relationships with everyone are so meaningless and they could really give a shit if I was in their life or not. But that's for another entry..
We e-mail, at best, if you wanna call it that. It doesn't sound like a father/daughter but a business transaction. I convinced him, FINALLY: He's buying me a moped. That's sweet, right? If he wasn't such a dick about it. He doesn't even KNOW that he is an asshole and that is seriously the worst part. He thinks he is doing a "good thing":
"After you graduate it goes to Shiloh, and then to Nolynn, and then back to me so I can save gas because I am going to need to by then."
.. WHAT? First of all, how long does he think a moped is gonna last? Second of all, I have to give it up in a YEAR and it goes back to him??? That sentence shows he will never buy Shiloh or Nolynn any mode of transportation. While he has all his fucking projects and snowmobiles and that weirdo Cindy that he is STILL living with after all these years (they will be common law married this July). From what I know they constantly vacation, drink booze, and eat out. FUCK that!
I am also going to Vietnam in less than a MONTH!!! ...So I dropped him a line:
"I think I asked you for the moped at the wrong time because I am going to Vietnam so soon."
"Yeah you probably should of thought about that. Good luck! But I am still going to by the scooter."
I don't even know what to say about him anymore. I would like to scream at him for all the nothing he has done in my life but what the hell is the point? That would never change anything except make me feel better.. maybe. I hate him.
All I have is my mother and my friends. And sometimes to my two sisters.. but they are younger than me so I can't really look to them for help and support you know? They never talk to me either anyways.. And even sometimes to my friends, sometimes I feel my relationships with everyone are so meaningless and they could really give a shit if I was in their life or not. But that's for another entry..