post #3

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[fill] the first goodbye 1/3

[anonymous]

Kyungsoo's trembling as he knocks on the door. Kris looks slightly surprised as he opens it, but takes a step back to allow Kyungsoo entry inside.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Kris asks, "there's teabags and instant coffee on the table."

There's no answer so Kris looks back and sees Kyungsoo looking up at him with scared brown eyes. Kris sighs, and turns around.

"Why are you even here Kyungsoo?" he asks, although he already knows the answer.

"I- I like you." Kyungsoo replies, his voice shaking. It's only another indication to just how out of his comfort zone he really is.

"I'm not good for you," Kris says slowly, his tone of voice slow and almost bordering on tender, as if Kyungsoo was a child. "You're not like me Kyungsoo. This is my life- meaningless fucks every night with nothing left the next morning. They mean nothing to me, I don't even know the names of the people I fuck. It's just another pass time for me. You know that Kyungsoo."

"I know." Kyungsoo confirms softly, and Kris sighs again, taking a seat of the edge of the slightly worn out bed. He doesn't complain about it, he's used to the rougher texture of low quality sheets in various hotels around town and it doesn't matter for him much anyway- he's always preoccupied with other activities when on a bed that's not his own.

"But I still like you," Kyungsoo insists, "I'll, I'll accept your lifestyle. I can be like that too."

"You can't."

Perhaps it's the sudden urge to protect the quivering boy standing in front of him, to prevent him from entering a life so ill-suited for him and would cause him regret for the rest of his life, but Kris doesn't even want to think about the possibility of that. Kyungsoo's always been so cute, so pure and so innocent to him. He can't think of Kyungsoo in any other way.

"Cherish yourself, cherish your body. You're not the type for casual sex Kyungsoo, you'll just hurt yourself." Kris says before raising his eyes to look Kyungsoo directly in the eye. "You know, I wasn't actually serious about this," he starts, gesturing to their surroundings, to the cheap room of a love hotel, "I only wanted to scare you a bit, to bring you back to your senses so you'd reflect on what you're doing. I didn't think you'd really come."

Kris stands up at those words, and takes a single large step towards Kyungsoo, closing the empty space between them. He reaches up to the top button of Kyungsoo's uniform shirt- his uniform shirt and pauses for a moment, forcing back a sense of sudden shame, that he's really willing to bring himself to do something like this- and starts unbuttoning the shirt.

However many times Kris tells himself that Kyungsoo's both of age and willing, he can't shake off the feeling that he's still taking advantage of Kyungsoo in some way before breaking his heart. He stops unbuttoning the shirt about halfway down.

"I can't." he says, "Kyungsoo, look at yourself. You're shaking, and you're just standing there. I don't want to have sex with someone like that."

Hurt flashes through Kyungsoo's eyes, but his voice is stronger when he replies.

"Can't you take this a bit more seriously? Th-this is my first time."

Kris lowers his eyes and focuses on rebuttoning Kyungsoo's shirt.

"That's why your first time shouldn't be with someone like me. I won't care, I might not even acknowledge this happened by this time tomorrow. Your first time, it doesn’t have to be tonight"

When Kris attempts to draw away, Kyungsoo reaches up and Kris finds himself with his hands held to Kyungsoo’s chest.

“Yes it does. I’m out of time.” Kyungsoo whispers. “Didn’t you know? I graduated today. My father has been waiting for me to graduate so our whole family can move to Australia. I’ve already been accepted at the University of Sydney.”

“Oh.”

“This is my last night in Seoul.”