Prompt #215: Seduction
TM Prompt #215 is: Seduction. Have you ever seduced someone or has anyone ever seduced you?
Of course, that would have to be this week's topic. I admit I am starting to regret keeping this personal record, if only due to the embarrassment it will one day cause me. Well, that's a lie: it's causing me embarrassment now. Nevertheless, I made a commitment so I suppose I should honour it.
I have never been seduced, nor has anyone seduced me.
... Right, you can probably tell that's not actually true. Shouldn't have typed that opening paragraph about embarrassment.
I have been seduced twice. Yes, I do believe the been is rather important here. It implies that I was not the initiator of the contact and that, in fact, is entirely the truth. I cannot imagine myself ever initiating - well, something like that. Something that is against the Code, and against my personal values. That doesn't mean I haven't been party to such encounters, but somehow the fact that I was not the seductor seems vitally important.
Yes, I know I ought to get to the point.
The first time it happened was with a fellow Jedi. I'd been friends with Siri Tachi for many years, but it wasn't until we participated in a mission together that we realised our feelings had grown into something more. She was the first to act upon that realisation. I remember her approaching me in the tent I shared with my Master. Thankfully, he happened to be consulting with the locals at that time.
"Have you ever been with another woman, Obi-Wan?" Siri asked, settling herself on my Master's bunk. "Or another person, even?"
I turned from my position at the table organising our mission logs. Already I could feel my face turning bright red. "Siri!" I burst out. "That's - well - that's a very personal question!"
"So?" She wore an irritating little smile. "I have. I'm not afraid to admit it. What about you?"
"Siri, the Code," I implored. "What you're asking -"
"What I'm asking has absolutely no bearing on the Code," Siri countered. "I've studied it top to bottom and there's nothing that says we can't hook up with people. Just so long as we, you know, don't get attached and shit."
"Depends on your definition of 'hooking up,'" I muttered.
"Oh, what, you think the only hookups should be in a long-term relationship? Please." She snorted. "I guess I should have expected nothing less out of you, Kenobi. Always so upstanding and morally correct. I think it's time you let your hair down. Had some fun. Lived a little."
"Siri, no," I said firmly. "It isn't right. It's just not right. And I won't do it."
"Fine," Siri smiled. She stood and began to saunter out. "If you want to die old and alone and as wrinkled as Yoda, that's your Forcedamned business."
I shouldn't have let what she said get to me, but for some reason I did. Perhaps it was because Bruck Chun kept bragging about his ... experiences ... in the lunchroom when Qui-Gon and I returned from the mission. I've never been one to worry about what others have and have not done, but some appeared to view their visits to the Coruscanti clubs as badges of honour, as something to be celebrated. I could not figure out why, but since everyone talked about it I decided that there must be something to it. I still did not act on what I now know were my fledging feelings for Siri, however.
The next time I talked with her about the idea of seduction, we were both a few years older and much changed. Well, I was. Qui-Gon had died and I now had a Padawan of my own. But Siri ... she had not changed. She was still reckless, still acted irresponsibly, still kept being brought before the Council on minor charges of misbehaviour. Unsurprisingly, she had not been assigned a Padawan of her own yet.
I do not remember much about how it happened. That's likely for the better, both for my state of mind and for adherence to the Code. I grieved for Siri when she died, but if I had remembered the night we spent with each other - well, perhaps it would have been worse. I know that somehow she convinced me to go with her to one of the clubs. I remember imbibing a strong, bitter drink in copious amounts. I don't remember what I did with Anakin, whether he accompanied us or whether he stayed back at the Temple, but I do hope he was not around to witness what occurred. I remember Siri pulling me into a small room behind the bar, tugging a curtain over the doorway. I remember my mouth dropping open as she dropped her robes to the floor. I remember wanting her, thinking at the time that nothing could go wrong and that perhaps she was right, perhaps I did need to relax.
I remember falling more deeply in love with her after that night. I remember the decision we made to stay apart, lest our feelings develop into something inappropriate.
But I don't remember the act of being seduced. Perhaps that's for the better.
My second incidence of seduction I will not discuss here. It is an event that, hopefully, I will take to my grave. But I will repeat again: I was the seductee, NOT the seductor.
And there is a difference.
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Star Wars
904 words
Of course, that would have to be this week's topic. I admit I am starting to regret keeping this personal record, if only due to the embarrassment it will one day cause me. Well, that's a lie: it's causing me embarrassment now. Nevertheless, I made a commitment so I suppose I should honour it.
I have never been seduced, nor has anyone seduced me.
... Right, you can probably tell that's not actually true. Shouldn't have typed that opening paragraph about embarrassment.
I have been seduced twice. Yes, I do believe the been is rather important here. It implies that I was not the initiator of the contact and that, in fact, is entirely the truth. I cannot imagine myself ever initiating - well, something like that. Something that is against the Code, and against my personal values. That doesn't mean I haven't been party to such encounters, but somehow the fact that I was not the seductor seems vitally important.
Yes, I know I ought to get to the point.
The first time it happened was with a fellow Jedi. I'd been friends with Siri Tachi for many years, but it wasn't until we participated in a mission together that we realised our feelings had grown into something more. She was the first to act upon that realisation. I remember her approaching me in the tent I shared with my Master. Thankfully, he happened to be consulting with the locals at that time.
"Have you ever been with another woman, Obi-Wan?" Siri asked, settling herself on my Master's bunk. "Or another person, even?"
I turned from my position at the table organising our mission logs. Already I could feel my face turning bright red. "Siri!" I burst out. "That's - well - that's a very personal question!"
"So?" She wore an irritating little smile. "I have. I'm not afraid to admit it. What about you?"
"Siri, the Code," I implored. "What you're asking -"
"What I'm asking has absolutely no bearing on the Code," Siri countered. "I've studied it top to bottom and there's nothing that says we can't hook up with people. Just so long as we, you know, don't get attached and shit."
"Depends on your definition of 'hooking up,'" I muttered.
"Oh, what, you think the only hookups should be in a long-term relationship? Please." She snorted. "I guess I should have expected nothing less out of you, Kenobi. Always so upstanding and morally correct. I think it's time you let your hair down. Had some fun. Lived a little."
"Siri, no," I said firmly. "It isn't right. It's just not right. And I won't do it."
"Fine," Siri smiled. She stood and began to saunter out. "If you want to die old and alone and as wrinkled as Yoda, that's your Forcedamned business."
I shouldn't have let what she said get to me, but for some reason I did. Perhaps it was because Bruck Chun kept bragging about his ... experiences ... in the lunchroom when Qui-Gon and I returned from the mission. I've never been one to worry about what others have and have not done, but some appeared to view their visits to the Coruscanti clubs as badges of honour, as something to be celebrated. I could not figure out why, but since everyone talked about it I decided that there must be something to it. I still did not act on what I now know were my fledging feelings for Siri, however.
The next time I talked with her about the idea of seduction, we were both a few years older and much changed. Well, I was. Qui-Gon had died and I now had a Padawan of my own. But Siri ... she had not changed. She was still reckless, still acted irresponsibly, still kept being brought before the Council on minor charges of misbehaviour. Unsurprisingly, she had not been assigned a Padawan of her own yet.
I do not remember much about how it happened. That's likely for the better, both for my state of mind and for adherence to the Code. I grieved for Siri when she died, but if I had remembered the night we spent with each other - well, perhaps it would have been worse. I know that somehow she convinced me to go with her to one of the clubs. I remember imbibing a strong, bitter drink in copious amounts. I don't remember what I did with Anakin, whether he accompanied us or whether he stayed back at the Temple, but I do hope he was not around to witness what occurred. I remember Siri pulling me into a small room behind the bar, tugging a curtain over the doorway. I remember my mouth dropping open as she dropped her robes to the floor. I remember wanting her, thinking at the time that nothing could go wrong and that perhaps she was right, perhaps I did need to relax.
I remember falling more deeply in love with her after that night. I remember the decision we made to stay apart, lest our feelings develop into something inappropriate.
But I don't remember the act of being seduced. Perhaps that's for the better.
My second incidence of seduction I will not discuss here. It is an event that, hopefully, I will take to my grave. But I will repeat again: I was the seductee, NOT the seductor.
And there is a difference.
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Star Wars
904 words