clean.
i felt so hallow and empty... i thought it was because of how sad i had been... but it’s because there is nothing here to satisfy me.
i want to be warm and connected with people. i want to touch and feel. i want to find the things that I didn’t realize I was looking for. i want to be consumed.
i need to leave. not just physically leave...but, part with a mentality and a way of living. i am going to bid adieu to a place that has kept my dirtiest of secrets and my lowest of lows. getting the hell out of here feels more like standing in front of a mirror watching myself peel the layers of dead skin off. skin that doesn't fit nor feel like mine anymore. skin that kept my feet feeling restless from being glued to the consistent unsatisfying ground that never really did provide what i thought i so desperately wanted.
i've never once owned up to regretting anything because i always said it was this and that which got me here. and here.....well, here is just an adventure waiting to happen.