Old and bone-y
It is not yet time for explanations. Not yet. Maybe in a few days. I want to recap what has gone on in my life in some real way, but not here and not now. Maybe in a little while. When the year is finally over.
Mike is great. I really like to sit down and talk to him because he's a lot like me. We have a lot of overlap in interests, perspective, and attitude. He gives me a lot of advice and useful information on what's going on in life.
(At least I think) I am aware of where I'm at in life and what's going on. Yeah, I know the impact I'm having on myself with my choices. These things I know. That doesn't really change much.
I suppose I should start with the second part first and then go backwards.
Since there's no way to effectively communicate what I mean to say...
It's okay to know that, "You are not my equal." That's okay. And myopia is something I don't have to settle on. It just makes life more difficult. Of course.
And the second part is about being okay with being alone. I became a man, not unlike many other men, without having space and time by myself. Learning to be okay alone is where I'm at.
Reminds me of a saying from the Dhammapada... "If you cannot find a companion who is better than or like yourself, you should make your way, steadily, alone. In the childish there is no companionship."
Also a quote from work, "I have something to offer."
I told many people recently that I feel like I'm in a "no bullshit" mode of being. (Note: This does not apply to self.) This means that I feel I have to be direct and to say things exactly as they seem to be, irrespective of whether that is deemed a good or a bad thing. I am considering privatizing this entry, but I probably won't in the end, because I don't want to hide these thoughts away. (Reader beware.)
Tonight I said that I was a warrior. That's true, I am indeed a warrior. So that is how I have to be. A warrior.
It's lonely, but that's okay. It's not something other people have to understand.
I need to let go of some things and I haven't yet gotten to the point where I feel like I am able to do that yet. But, in time, that will come. It's a matter of patience. The important things we work for aren't directly beamed into some soul we own. They're trained (they're skills). And training takes time. So that's what I need.
Mike is great. I really like to sit down and talk to him because he's a lot like me. We have a lot of overlap in interests, perspective, and attitude. He gives me a lot of advice and useful information on what's going on in life.
(At least I think) I am aware of where I'm at in life and what's going on. Yeah, I know the impact I'm having on myself with my choices. These things I know. That doesn't really change much.
I suppose I should start with the second part first and then go backwards.
Since there's no way to effectively communicate what I mean to say...
It's okay to know that, "You are not my equal." That's okay. And myopia is something I don't have to settle on. It just makes life more difficult. Of course.
And the second part is about being okay with being alone. I became a man, not unlike many other men, without having space and time by myself. Learning to be okay alone is where I'm at.
Reminds me of a saying from the Dhammapada... "If you cannot find a companion who is better than or like yourself, you should make your way, steadily, alone. In the childish there is no companionship."
Also a quote from work, "I have something to offer."
I told many people recently that I feel like I'm in a "no bullshit" mode of being. (Note: This does not apply to self.) This means that I feel I have to be direct and to say things exactly as they seem to be, irrespective of whether that is deemed a good or a bad thing. I am considering privatizing this entry, but I probably won't in the end, because I don't want to hide these thoughts away. (Reader beware.)
Tonight I said that I was a warrior. That's true, I am indeed a warrior. So that is how I have to be. A warrior.
It's lonely, but that's okay. It's not something other people have to understand.
I need to let go of some things and I haven't yet gotten to the point where I feel like I am able to do that yet. But, in time, that will come. It's a matter of patience. The important things we work for aren't directly beamed into some soul we own. They're trained (they're skills). And training takes time. So that's what I need.