Sherlock meta: My interpretation of John's reactions at the end of HLV
I’ve read some interpretations of John’s emotional distance at the end of HLV that make a great deal of sense to me, but I can’t help but return to my initial interpretation, which, I admit, is probably a) full of projection, and b) easy to debunk (but then, what’s the fun of a show if we can’t analyze/over-analyze it?)
Series 3 was somewhat disappointing to me but one of the scenes that I do appreciate is the one in which Sherlock reveals that Mary turning out to have a dangerous past (and John falling for her) is hardly surprising considering John’s addiction to danger/adrenaline. A part of my mind was screaming finally as Sherlock revealed this fact about John, and, even better, admitted that he himself was replacing his drug addiction with an addiction to the “high” of crime-solving.
The scene at the end of the episode with Sherlock and John saying goodbye to one another didn’t disappoint me because it felt very real to me for various reasons, some of which have been articulated elsewhere by others. But what I’m really fixated on is the idea that John is emotionally restrained because of certain realities going on in his life. Let me add the disclaimer here yet again that I’m about to go through some major projection. Let me also add that I’m not a psychologist.
Reality 1: John is coming to grips with the idea that he is addicted to adrenaline and what that means for his life and also the lives of people around him.
If John has spent any time thinking about what Sherlock revealed to him, he’ll have realized that his addiction led him into war and then into a dangerous life with Sherlock. There are a couple of reasons that this should make him concerned. The first is the emotional trauma it has caused him, both in military and civilian life. The second is that now he is married with a child on the way, and his addiction is so pronounced that he couldn’t go a month without jumping at the chance to put himself in danger by going out to find Isaac. Granted, the addiction factor isn't the only reason that he chose that course of action, but I would wager it plays a prominent role.
I’m not suggesting that John can’t handle the danger. Clearly, he’s fit to deal with such things, but I suppose here is where my projection begins. When I realized in my past that my own patterns of behavior were controlling me and not vice versa, that was a pretty frightening reality. And I wonder if John, in HLV, is dealing with this discovery about himself and the fact that his best friend is his biggest enabler.
Reality 2: There’s a baby on the way.
Somehow, nearly every television show that I have a vested interest in (and there’s not that many), features characters who are in their thirties or forties, who are educated enough to know how to use birth control, who do not appear to have religious beliefs that would prevent them from using birth control, find themselves with surprise pregnancies. How convenient. Okay, I know, I’m both digressing and ignoring the fact that even the most careful planning can fail. But anyway, the pregnancy is certainly a reality that can affect John’s reactions and behavior. I am not suggesting that John stayed with Mary solely because she’s pregnant, but even if he wanted to walk away from her, it was even more difficult to do so considering that they’re going to have a child. John’s addiction is also one thing if he only has his own safety to worry about, but now he has a wife and child to think about, and while Mary can clearly take care of herself, his daughter is another story. So as wretched as it is that Sherlock is forced to walk out of John’s life, it does remove a certain amount of triggers that would encourage John’s addiction. John’s stiff upper lip may be due to the rather harsh reality that a baby changes everything. The only thing that’s really left to do is to soldier on.
Reality 3: The third time may really be the charm.
John thought that Sherlock had died from throwing himself off of the roof, Sherlock nearly died from being shot, and now Sherlock is being sent on a suicide mission. (I don’t think that John was fooled for one minute). It seems fairly normal to me that John would harden himself emotionally in order to protect himself.
Finally, there are a few different ways to interpret the way John’s eyes lit up at the end when he saw Sherlock being summoned back to deal with the Moriarty situation, but I couldn’t help but read it as the pleasure centers in John’s brain lighting up at the thought that the danger was coming back.
Series 3 was somewhat disappointing to me but one of the scenes that I do appreciate is the one in which Sherlock reveals that Mary turning out to have a dangerous past (and John falling for her) is hardly surprising considering John’s addiction to danger/adrenaline. A part of my mind was screaming finally as Sherlock revealed this fact about John, and, even better, admitted that he himself was replacing his drug addiction with an addiction to the “high” of crime-solving.
The scene at the end of the episode with Sherlock and John saying goodbye to one another didn’t disappoint me because it felt very real to me for various reasons, some of which have been articulated elsewhere by others. But what I’m really fixated on is the idea that John is emotionally restrained because of certain realities going on in his life. Let me add the disclaimer here yet again that I’m about to go through some major projection. Let me also add that I’m not a psychologist.
Reality 1: John is coming to grips with the idea that he is addicted to adrenaline and what that means for his life and also the lives of people around him.
If John has spent any time thinking about what Sherlock revealed to him, he’ll have realized that his addiction led him into war and then into a dangerous life with Sherlock. There are a couple of reasons that this should make him concerned. The first is the emotional trauma it has caused him, both in military and civilian life. The second is that now he is married with a child on the way, and his addiction is so pronounced that he couldn’t go a month without jumping at the chance to put himself in danger by going out to find Isaac. Granted, the addiction factor isn't the only reason that he chose that course of action, but I would wager it plays a prominent role.
I’m not suggesting that John can’t handle the danger. Clearly, he’s fit to deal with such things, but I suppose here is where my projection begins. When I realized in my past that my own patterns of behavior were controlling me and not vice versa, that was a pretty frightening reality. And I wonder if John, in HLV, is dealing with this discovery about himself and the fact that his best friend is his biggest enabler.
Reality 2: There’s a baby on the way.
Somehow, nearly every television show that I have a vested interest in (and there’s not that many), features characters who are in their thirties or forties, who are educated enough to know how to use birth control, who do not appear to have religious beliefs that would prevent them from using birth control, find themselves with surprise pregnancies. How convenient. Okay, I know, I’m both digressing and ignoring the fact that even the most careful planning can fail. But anyway, the pregnancy is certainly a reality that can affect John’s reactions and behavior. I am not suggesting that John stayed with Mary solely because she’s pregnant, but even if he wanted to walk away from her, it was even more difficult to do so considering that they’re going to have a child. John’s addiction is also one thing if he only has his own safety to worry about, but now he has a wife and child to think about, and while Mary can clearly take care of herself, his daughter is another story. So as wretched as it is that Sherlock is forced to walk out of John’s life, it does remove a certain amount of triggers that would encourage John’s addiction. John’s stiff upper lip may be due to the rather harsh reality that a baby changes everything. The only thing that’s really left to do is to soldier on.
Reality 3: The third time may really be the charm.
John thought that Sherlock had died from throwing himself off of the roof, Sherlock nearly died from being shot, and now Sherlock is being sent on a suicide mission. (I don’t think that John was fooled for one minute). It seems fairly normal to me that John would harden himself emotionally in order to protect himself.
Finally, there are a few different ways to interpret the way John’s eyes lit up at the end when he saw Sherlock being summoned back to deal with the Moriarty situation, but I couldn’t help but read it as the pleasure centers in John’s brain lighting up at the thought that the danger was coming back.