(no subject)
Warning: 100+ pictures, some sim nudity, and poor attempts at humour.
Zaitrarrio has become obsessed with that exercise bike. It's the only thing he does when he's not off being the best sim parent I've ever had.
The Kleptos get a pretty blonde maid. =)
I guess nothing else happened, because suddenly it's time for Vin to grow up.
Note to self: Delete that hair.
Much better! So cuuuuute. <3
Vin goes off to smash play, and Dana spots a familiar man outside.
Dana: Sup, Sinjin?
Sinjin: Not much. You've put on a few since I last saw you. You look fabulous!
Dana: So I was reading this book and..
Sinjin: No way! I don't believe that you can read.
Dana: So I've been investing in art. Recently, I bought a solid gold sculpture of a grilled cheese.
Sinjin: I love grilled cheese art! I bet you could get people to pay you to see it.
Dana: -BFFs-
Dana: I keep it in a safe in the bedroom. -Takes hands- I could show you if you want.
Sinjin: Whatever.
Dana, don't you dare. Zaitrarrio is a good father, and he's going to be back from work in an hour!
Dana: Shut up! I... Do what I want?
Dana: I've always wanted to do it with a college boy.
Sinjin: ++
You better not be pregnant!
While Dana slept, Sinjin felt it necessary to harass the fish. GTFO before Zee comes home!
How to be a good dad: A Tutorial by Zaitrarrio Klepto:
Step one: Greet your son.
Step two: Teach him an important life skill.
Step three: Give him a bath.
Step four: Snuggle him, and then put him to bed.
Step five (not pictured): Step back and bask in the glow of collective admiration.
-Floored.- He did all this autonomously! I didn't tell him to do a damn thing. But what is Dana doing during this amazing display of competent parenting?
She's busting a move, of course.
What the hell are you eating, woman?
Dana: Pancakes! Are you blind?
You're pregnant, aren't you?
Dana: Blaaarrrg. Stupid pancakes.
Oh sure, blame the pancakes. It couldn't be because YOU'RE PREGNANT. Oh no, of course not.
Dana: EXCUSE ME! Pay attention to me, I'm awesome! Zee? PAY ATTENTION TO ME!
Zaitrarrio: In a minute, dear. I'm teaching our son how to talk.
Zaitrarrio: Vin, can you say "chair?" Can you say "bottle?"
Vin: ZAITRARRIO! I has to potty.
I demand that both of you stop being so adorable. Particularly you, Zee. I'm not supposed to like you better than my founder!
I SAID STOP IT!
You better be happy about that bastard child, because I'm not. >=[
Dana: I DO WHAT I WANT!
Dana: ZOMG, I didn't know my husband wrote books on parenting!
You should ask for lessons.
What're you doing, Zee?
Zaitrarrio: Spying on the neighbours.
Checo: How dare you spy on my family! Are you trying to see my wife naked? You are, aren't you? PERVERT!
Zaitrarrio: +1000!
Checo: Yeah, that's right! Walk away! Don't ever let me catch you spying on my family again! +1000!
Dana: So, dear, we've been married for a while now. How do you feel about grilled cheese now?
Zaitrarrio: +500! Your grilled cheese obsession is catching, I think.
~True love.~
Vin: Excuse me, I still exist! LET ME OUUUUUT! -Wibbles.-
Dana: Am I doing it right?
I'm sorry, I can't help myself. One last look:
Cuuuuuuuuute! Time for you to become a child.
Adorable. He's got his dad's pointy face. <3
Dana: You are blind, aren't you? This lamp doesn't match at all.
SHUT UP, I DO WHAT I WANT! I like Vin's room. =(
Vin's first action as a child was to spy on sports utility vehicles. Whatever makes you happy, I guess.
Watching the sports channel makes Vin realize that his OTH his sports.
Vin: Are you blind, ref?! HE'S TRAVELING! TRAVELING!
School is hard. =(
Homework is hard. =(
Interpretive dance is hard. =(
Basketball is hard. =(
And catch is hard, too. Particularly when you're playing versus this:
You should play nicer, Dana. He's only 8.
Dana: So what type of grilled cheese would you like for dinner?
Vin: OH HELL NAW! I don't want no stupid grilled cheese.
Vin: I hate your grilled cheese. Make me a hamburger, woman!
Dana: =(
Dana plays the piano to forget.
Dana: I know what will make me feel better about my thankless son!
What's that?
Of course.
Dana: Excuse me! I thought you said it would hurt less the second time? IT HURTS MORE!
Vin: WOOO, A BROTHER! I HAVE A LITTLE BROTHER!
Yes, a boy named Neil, with s3, brown hair and brown eyes.
So, Dana walks over to Zee to play Pass the Baby, but Zee refuses to get off that damn exercise bike. So what does she do?
She puts him on the floor. I thought those parenting books were helping?
Dana chased Zaitrarrio into the livingroom, because she still wanted to play Pass the Baby, but Zee is busy watching sports. SO SHE PUTS THE BABY ON THE FLOOR AGAIN.
Vin: So dad, what's so exciting about that exercise bike?
Zaitrarrio: It's so little hassle! Not like JOGGING at all, where you have to warm up, and then try to find a sneaky way past the Ramirez house. You know, he still doesn't like me....
Dana! GET YOUR BABY OFF THE FLOOR!
Dana: LATER! Can't you see I'm playing catch with my amazing son?
-Later that day.-
Zaitrarrio: Oh look, there's a baby on the floor. I wonder who left it there?
-Facepalm.-
Zaitrarrio: MUST MAKE BED BEFORE MAID FINISHES!
You were so close to the crib. =(
It's okay. After he makes the other side of the bed, he went right back and picked Neil up.
Neil: (Who was that guy? He's kind of cool.)
I finally send Zee downtown to buy some new threads, and the first thing he does after arriving is give the thumbs-up to no one.
And then, it was time for Neil to become a toddler:
He exploded into his brother's hairstyle. I hope he's not trying to tell me that he's a clone.
Look at that nose! So cute. <3
Immediately after chucking him in the air Dana went to bed. So Neil went back and forth between Dana's room and Vin's room waiting for one of them to wake up. Awww.
Also, Zaitrarrio works odd hours. He's missed every single birthday in this house. =/
Zaitrarrio: I hear you're charging people to view the solid gold grilled cheese you've hidden in the safe.
I decided Dana needed a more ~motherly look.~ What do you think, Dee?
Dana: BLAAAARG. I HATE YOU!
Dana: But I loooove grilled cheese!
I know, kind of a weird place to end it, but this update is huuuuuuuuuuge enough already. Let me know what you think! Don't be afraid to critique me. I'm sure I need it. =)