FIC: Love Him in My Absence, Chap. 15 (HP) (NC-17)

Aug 22, 2006 10:34

Fandom: Harry Potter
Title: Love Him in My Absence (Chapter 15)
Author: anogete
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Hermione uncovers Snape's final remaining secret when he hires her as an assistant. Will she be able to keep her job and help him through another difficult time in his life?
Spoilers: HBP
Distribution: Please ask first.
Disclaimer: Alll characters belong to J.K. Rowling.
Author's Note: A huge thank you to snarkyroxy, my beta. Also, thanks go out to Allyness29 and Jessica for their help with this fic.


Chapter 15: Some Sort of Resolution

The clock beside her bed ticked over to twelve fourteen just as she opened her eyes. The midday sun was bright, dimmed only by the curtains across her bedroom window. In a matter of moments, the morning’s events came rushing back to Hermione. She touched the indentation of the pillow where Snape’s head had been. Her heart dropped when she realized he had left while she was asleep. She remained in bed, watching the clock’s hand move toward the twenty-minute mark. Waking up alone was desperately depressing when she had been expecting to see his face.

Deciding to avoid further wallowing in regret and self-pity, she rose and wrapped the white sheet around herself. I think a quick shower and something chocolate will make me feel better, she thought. She scuffled through the bedroom and turned the corner to walk into the bathroom. The sight in there made her stop abruptly. Snape was standing at the sink with his hands braced against the white porcelain and his head bowed down to stare at the drain. He was only wearing his black trousers, but the white shirt was hanging from the towel rack beside him.

“I apologize for my actions,” he said in a clear, succinct voice.

Hermione adjusted the sheet and pulled it closer to her body. “Why?”

“I should not have taken advantage of you. I accept full responsibility and I -”

“You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do, you know,” Hermione replied, cutting him off.

Snape lifted his head and stared at her reflection behind him in the mirror. He looked weary with a deep sadness in his dark eyes. “Hermione, you know who I am. Why would you want to get involved with me?”

“Isn’t it enough that I enjoyed it, that I enjoy you?”

“You’re very young.”

Hermione tilted her chin up defiantly. “I’m old enough to know what we just did, and I’m old enough to know that I’d like to see where this can go.”

Before she was aware of what was happening, Snape had whirled around and backed her up against the wall, his hands splayed on either side of her head. She opened her mouth to protest, but he swallowed her words in a passionate kiss. His tongue fiercely claimed her mouth and stole her breath. “You’re a Gryffindor through and through, Hermione,” he whispered once he pulled back. “And you are far too good for me,” he added as an afterthought before pushing off the wall and walking out of the bathroom.

Hermione followed close behind and watched him pull his boots on over a pair of black socks. She stood in the middle of the flat as he brushed by her to retrieve his shirt from the bathroom. The sheet wrapped around her kept falling, and she was still in a state of shock over his reaction to her words. Her eyes widened suddenly as another thought occurred to her. As if the emotional roller coaster wasn’t enough, she had forgotten to use a contraceptive charm before they had sex. Without such a charm, she could easily become pregnant. “Sir?” she said.

Snape looked up to meet her gaze. “Severus,” he correctly softly.

“I did not use a contraceptive charm or potion.”

He buttoned his shirt before replying, “I’m sterile, unable to father any children. Another hazard of being on the wrong end of one too many curses, it seems.”

“Oh,” Hermione said softly. While she had never believed Snape to be the fatherly type, it was still unfortunate that the decision had been taken from him. Actually, the choice had been taken away from her as well, if she was serious about him and their budding relationship. She shook the thoughts of the future from her head and looked up at him. “Where are you going?”

“I need to see my mother.”

His mother. Oh, how could I have forgetten? There is more going on in this world than us having sex. Hermione made a move toward the bedroom to get dressed. “I’ll come with you.”

“No.” Snape gently took her arms in his hands. “This is something I need to do alone.”

She briefly considered pressing the matter, but she didn’t want to push him when the relationship was so fragile. “Will you… be back?” she asked in a hesitant voice.

He gave her a slight smile. “If you will still be here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione did not know what to do with herself. After a small lunch, she sat on the couch and waited for what seemed like hours, but it was really only twenty minutes. Her feelings and thoughts about Severus were tumultuous at best, and she wished he had stayed to help her work through them. However, she seriously doubted he would be much help even if he had stuck around.

The pang of regret that had hit her just after she woke was virtually nonexistent now. She only hoped he would not regret his actions either. She smiled to herself. The past few weeks had been extremely eventful and filled with both highs and lows, but the last thing she had expected was to be contemplating the repercussions of sleeping with Severus Snape. Despite that, try as she might, she could not imagine her future without him in it in some way. Only two weeks before, she had been crossing her fingers that he wouldn’t sack her over a botched potion, and now she was craving his company for more than just talking.

She decided that sitting around all day, waiting for him to return, was not the best thing to do. Instead, she occupied herself with scrubbing the tiles in the kitchen and bathroom without magic. Hermione also dusted every smooth surface in the flat until there was not a speck of dirt to be found. All the while, she worried over Severus’ situation with his parents. His father seemed so angry and hurtful toward him. Hermione couldn’t imagine her father treating her in such a way. She hoped they would be able to find a middle ground between their points of view before his mother died from their stubbornness.

From what little she had spoken to his mother, Hermione found that she enjoyed the woman’s company immensely. Eileen came across as kind, but strong with a mischievous streak. Goading Hermione about her possible relationship with Severus was quite funny in hindsight. She couldn’t help but wonder if Eileen saw something between the two of them that Hermione had not seen herself until after she took him home that night.

The afternoon had nearly disappeared, and Hermione’s arms were aching from all of the housework. She went into her spotless bathroom and jumped in the shower. Just as she was rinsing the suds from her hair, she felt a gust of cool air at her back. Suddenly, a warm arm wrapped tightly around her midsection, making her grab the wall for support and jerk her head around.

“Shhhh…” he said, pressing his lips to her ear and nudging her face back around with his cheek against hers.

Hermione could feel his naked body pressed against her back. It took all the concentration she had to keep her wits about her. “How is your mother?”

“Let’s try something new, Hermione,” he said, his lips brushing against her neck. “Let’s see if you can not talk for a bit.”

“But your mother, the tumor?” She bit her lip when his other arm wrapped around her and slid down between her legs.

“I do not wish to discuss that right now.” He placed soft, open-mouthed kisses along the column of her throat. “Is this unpleasant for you?” he asked after a moment of silence. One of his hands lazily played with the curls between her legs while the other cupped her right breast.

Hermione fumbled for a response. “No, it’s quite - quite pleasant, actually.”

“Very good. Now close that mouth of yours, and be as quiet as you possibly can.”

Hermione pressed her lips together and wiped the water from her face. His hands grabbed her hips and spun her around to face him. His head descended just as she caught sight of his face. He looked up at her from his spot on his knees, and used his hands to firmly position her against the shower wall, just out of reach of the spray from the showerhead.

He guided one of her legs over his shoulder and dipped his head between her thighs, gently lapping at the moisture there. She gasped and let out a startled noise. “Silence,” he reminded her. Hermione was not sure she could be completely silent if he insisted on doing that so well with his tongue. Blindly reaching out, she grabbed the shelf where the soap was kept. Her other hand ended up buried deeply in the wet strands of his black hair.

Severus continued to alternate licking and thrusting his tongue into her until Hermione had to bite her lip to keep the moans of encouragement from spilling out her mouth. All her self-control fled when she felt two of his long fingers slide inside of her and his tongue move up to slowly, sensuously rub against just the right spot. “Oh, Severus…” she murmured, tightning her grip on his hair.

He looked up to meet her eyes and smirked before curling a finger forward. The tension in her abdomen built until she could barely contain the bucking of her hips. “I thought I told you to be silent.” With that said, he buried his face between her legs again, spreading them even wider than before. It was only a matter of seconds before Hermione came in a shuddering climax, moans and gasps of pleasure tumbling from her lips and echoing in the shower stall. Snape stood and wrapped his arms around her trembling body to support some of her weight.

“I should have known a Gryffindor couldn’t be quiet.”

Hermione flashed him a lazy, self-satisfied smile. “It feels like you enjoyed it, too, Professor.” She lifted a shaky leg and pressed her thigh more firmly against his erection.

“Yes, your lack of control is quite satisfying for me.”

Hermione maneuvered around him, reversing their positions until his back was against the shower wall. His grip on her arms relaxed, letting her kneel in front of him. Looking up, she saw the expectant look on his face, and she couldn’t hold back any longer. She took a deep breath and wrapped her lips around the tip of his shaft guiding it inside her warm mouth with one hand gripping the base.

Severus gave a soft grunt of surprise once she took all of him inside her mouth, laving the vein along the bottom of his erection with her tongue. Both his hands slid into the wet tangles of her hair, guiding her as his hips tilted forward just the slightest bit in excitement and impatience. When he spoke his voice was rough and breathless. “It’s been too long, my dear. My control is… as lacking as yours.”

Hermione hummed in acknowledgement and rolled her eyes up to watch his face. Within seconds, his entire body tightened and jerked. She loosened her grip on him and let him slip partly out of her mouth as he spent himself on her tongue and chin. The water from the shower soon washed the evidence away, but Snape was still watching her closely, his fingers flexing in her tangled hair when she pulled away completely. “I’m glad you came back this evening,” she said softly.

“As am I,” he agreed, pulling her to her feet.

Hermione covered the slight blush on her face by dipping her head out of his sight and turning off the water. She retrieved two large towels from the linen closet and offered one to him with a shy smile. He accepted it and wrapped it around his waist after he had dried himself. She took her time, slowly drying every inch of her skin with the fluffy towel. Once Severus left the bathroom, she finished and wrapped the towel around her body, tucking the end underneath her left arm.

Severus was sitting on the couch in just the towel, watching the bathroom door. Despite their recent intimacy, Hermione still felt uncomfortable when his penetrating stare focused on her. She folded her arms under her breasts in a self-conscious gesture that tightened the towel around her body. She hesitantly walked toward where he had sat. “How is your mother?”

His gaze slid down her body and settled on his lap before quickly glancing up at her and then back down at his legs. The next time he looked up, he caught her eyes with his dark, hooded ones just before he deliberately shifted his eyes to his lap again. Hermione moved closer and made a motion to sit beside him. He quickly caught her around the waist and easily pulled her into his lap. “I was inviting you to sit on my lap, Hermione,” he whispered softly in her ear while she wiggled to find a comfortable spot.

“You could have just said, ‘Would you like to sit on my lap?’”

Pushing her unruly hair to one side of her neck, he sighed deeply against her cheek. “They have given my mother no more than three to four months. The tumor is inoperable and untreatable.”

“There has to be a way -” Hermione said, trying to turn so she faced him fully.

He nuzzled her neck with his nose. “There are no known cures for cancer, even in the Wizarding world, and even if there were, my father has forbidden me from removing her from the hospital.”

She lifted a hand and stroked his bare chest. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

“He nearly threw me out, threatening to obtain a Muggle restraining order to prevent the corruption of my mother. She woke and talked him out of it, but refuses to leave the hospital of her own free will, claiming that she needs to stay with my father at this time.” His voice was dull and uninterested. She knew that he had most certainly tortured himself over the situation, but such raw emotion had finally led to numbness.

“Your father is afraid of what he doesn’t understand,” Hermione said softly, trailing her fingers over his collarbone.

He nodded. “It is why my mother kept her magic a secret from him for so many years. If I had been a Squib -”

“No,” Hermione replied, hushing him. “This wasn’t your fault, Severus. Did you speak to your mother at all today?”

“Briefly. She desires death, I believe.”

“And you?”

Severus shook his head. “I simply desire her happiness,” he said, before pausing and shifting Hermione forward so he could pick his wand up off the floor. “Accio note for Hermione.” A small white sheet of paper flew through the air and settled into his palm. “She wrote you a note,” he explained.

“What does it say?”

“I do not know. It is your note, Hermione, not mine.”

She tentatively took the paper and unfolded it. Eileen Snape’s shaky, barely legible handwriting was scrawled across the first half of the page.

Hermione,

I have little time left with my son, but I am happy to see he has someone in his life like you. Our acquaintance has been short, yet I am certain that you are the one for him. He spoke so highly of you to me before we were even introduced. I’m afraid he is just as he was at eleven - unable to express his desires. Judging by his demeanor today, I can only assume that you have understood what he could not say to you. I am eternally grateful for that. I can only hope that you will forgive him his gloomy nature and dark moods, and love him in my absence.

Eileen

Hermione felt tears welling up and threatening to spill over her cheeks. Looking back to Severus, she saw that he had turned his head when she opened the letter so as not to read it himself. “Would you like to read it?” she asked.

“No,” he said, taking the note from her hand and folding it several times before placing it on the arm of the couch. “It was intended for you, not me.”

“Your mother loves you very much,” Hermione whispered, reaching a hand up to touch his damp hair. He turned his head away to look at the sheer curtains pulled over the window. “Did you tell her about us?” she asked.

“Us? No, not in so many words, though she seemed to suspect something.”

Hermione shifted in his lap to get a better view of his face. “You can tell people about us. I’m quite serious about you.”

He finally met her eyes with his. “Quite serious?”

“Quite.” Hermione smiled. “I want more than just today, if you’re interested as well, that is.”

“Interested in what exactly?”

“Something long-term that involves deep intellectual discussions, witty repartee, potion-making, and sharing a bed on a regular basis,” she said, mindful of a nervous lump in her throat that blocked much of the air her lungs needed.

Snape raised a brow, showing slight interest.

“Your mother said I should make you happy,” Hermione said with a mischievous grin.

“Did she, now?” Snape asked, the corners of his lips turning up in a smile.

Hermione nodded. “Oh, yes. You once said I should respect my elders, so I would like nothing more than to carry out what she requests of me.”

“Perhaps I should read that letter after all.” Snape snatched the letter up and began to unfold it.

Hermione pulled it away before he finished revealing the text. “That’s private.”

He laughed, and she saw how beautiful his eyes were when they danced with amusement. Finally, he regained his composure, but the laugh lines were still creased into the skin around his eyes. “My mother believes I’m in love with you.”

Her heart stopped, and when it restarted the beat was twice the usual speed. “Are you?”

“You expect me to tip my hand this early?” he asked with a slight smile and raised brows. “We’ve got years, haven’t we?”

She tossed her head back and laughed. The laughter faded out when she felt his warm lips pressed against her collarbone. “It’s the first day of the rest of your life, Severus Snape,” she said.

“I certainly hope the second half will be better than the first.”

Hermione used her hand on the back of his head to return his lips to her chest. “It will be if I have any say in it.”

Severus moved his lips up her neck, spreading kisses haphazardly along her jaw line and chin before meeting her lips. “You’re quite unique, you know,” he whispered softly against her mouth.

“And you are a wonderfully complicated man, but I think I’m going to enjoy that a great deal.”

Severus’ tongue found its way into her mouth just as his hand slid up her thigh beneath the towel. “What will Potter and Weasley think?” he asked, pulling back just enough to allow her a breath of air.

Hermione grinned. “I don’t particularly care, but if they have anything bad to say, they can put a sock in it.”

FINIS

INDEX: Chapters 1 & 2 || Chapters 3 & 4 || Chapters 5 & 6 || Chapters 7 & 8 || Chapters 9 & 10 || Chapters 11 & 12 || Chapters 13 & 14 || Chapter 15

fic, harry potter, severus/hermione

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