FIC: Love Him in My Absence, Chap. 13 & 14 (HP) (NC-17)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Title: Love Him in My Absence (Chapters 13 & 14)
Author: anogete
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Hermione uncovers Snape's final remaining secret when he hires her as an assistant. Will she be able to keep her job and help him through another difficult time in his life?
Spoilers: HBP
Distribution: Please ask first.
Disclaimer: Alll characters belong to J.K. Rowling.
Author's Note: A huge thank you to snarkyroxy, my beta. Also, thanks go out to Allyness29 and Jessica for their help with this fic.
Chapter 13: I’d Like You to Meet…
The first night back in her own apartment would have been peaceful had she not being woken a few minutes after midnight. The frantic banging at her door startled Hermione out of a deep sleep. She sat up in bed, clutching the sheet to her chest and searching the dark room with wide eyes. It took several seconds to register that someone was knocking for entrance. She couldn’t think of anyone who would be visiting her this late at night, but by the force of the knocking, it was someone who was quite desperate to see her.
She quickly pulled her robe on and grabbed her wand from the nightstand. It was better to be safe than sorry when woken after midnight by an unexpected visitor. Adjusting her grip on the wand, she unlocked the door, leaving the chain and her wards still intact. The small crack in the open door revealed her caller.
“Miss Granger.” Professor Snape was standing outside her door, his hand resting on the doorframe. He appeared to be slightly out of breath and looked somewhat disheveled.
Hermione was extremely confused, but she quickly removed the chain and her wards from the entrance, swinging the door open wider. “Professor? What are you doing here?”
“I need you to come with me,” he said, stepping inside her flat.
Hermione pulled her robe tighter around her body. She felt self-conscious with him looming over her. “Where?”
“It doesn’t matter. Please dress yourself and come with me.” His voice was breathy and quick. He didn’t appear to be in trouble, but he was more excitable than usual.
Hermione looked at the clock. “Professor, it’s after midnight. Where would you like me to go?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Well, yes, I suppose.”
Snape extended his hand. “Then please get dressed and come with me. I can’t explain here.”
Despite her reservations, she couldn’t turn him down and refuse to go with him. Her curiosity was much too strong to crawl back into bed without seeing what he obviously wanted to show her. Without a word, she retreated to her bedroom and threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She certainly hoped they wouldn’t be going to a public place because her hair most likely looked a mess.
As soon as she stepped out of her bedroom, Snape’s arms were around her, pulling her close. Hermione opened her mouth in surprise, but he spoke first. “I’m going to Disapparate us both.”
She closed her eyes tightly and felt the momentary confusion of dual Apparation. When she opened her eyes again, they were standing outside a large building in an empty alley. The wind whipped through the small space and blew her hair into her face. The harsh weather and large raindrops hitting the ground were disorienting after the dual Apparation. Before she could gather herself, Snape took her hand in his and pulled her after him. Hermione wasn’t prepared or strong enough to stop him. She followed in his wake, stumbling down the alley and around to the front of the building. Bright lights cast a glow around the dark sidewalk in front. She immediately recognized the location from spying on Snape the previous night.
He pulled her into the hospital and up the flights of stairs, never letting go of her hand. She would have followed him regardless. If the potion worked, then she was about to meet the mystery person that Snape had been visiting. “The potion - it worked?” she asked, gasping for breath as he opened the door to the third floor.
“Yes,” Snape said, giving her hand a slight squeeze before he led her down the hallway. The nurses were buzzing about their workstation. They watched both Snape and Hermione with interest when the two passed by on their way to the room.
An elderly woman was in the narrow hospital bed, but her eyes slowly opened when she heard the commotion of people entering. She looked at Snape and smiled softly before turning her gaze to Hermione. Hermione shifted uncomfortably under the dark eyes. There was something vaguely familiar about her, but she didn’t believe they had ever met.
Snape pulled Hermione forward and grabbed her shoulders, leading her closer to the bed. She could see the woman’s eyes watching Snape’s hands on her shoulders. Finally, the woman looked at Hermione’s face, and she smiled warmly, the edges her of eyes crinkling up in happiness. “Hello, my dear.”
Hermione opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She finally forced a soft hello out and then turned to look at Snape over her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m a bit confused. I don’t know who this is.”
His long fingers gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze of reassurance. “This is Eileen, my mother. Mother, this is Hermione Granger.”
If Snape’s hands had not been on her shoulders, Hermione would have toppled over backward and fainted. The last person she had expected was to see his mother. She assumed his mother had passed away years ago. Never in her wildest dreams did she think Snape’s mother had been in a Muggle hospital for who knew how many years.
“I, umm… Forgive me, but I’m just a bit surprised by all of this,” Hermione said to the woman in the hospital bed. Snape slowly released his hold on her shoulders and stepped over to the other side of the bed to take his mother’s hand.
“Surprised? Severus told me that you were the one who finished the potion.”
Hermione looked at Snape, and everything fell into place. His mother had been in the coma for quite some time, and he had been working on the cure for nearly as long. The blue algae idea worked and created a potion that could revive coma patients. Not only had it worked, but Snape had told his mother she was responsible. “Well, I just made a suggestion,” Hermione said, still watching Snape. She looked down to his mother again and gave the other woman a smile. “I’m very happy it worked.”
Eileen’s tired eyes twinkled as she returned Hermione’s smile. “From the way my son has been talking, he admires you very much, Hermione.”
“Oh?” Hermione looked from Eileen to Snape and then back again. His face was schooled into the usual blank expression, but his eyes were hooded and darting around the room nervously.
“Of course, my dear,” Eileen said. “And I, for one, am very happy that Severus has found someone as beautiful and talented as you to balance out his gloomy side. Isn’t that right, Severus?” Hermione blushed and glanced at the floor. She never was very good with compliments, and it seemed the Eileen Snape was under the impression that she was dating her son.
Snape intervened and shook his head. “Hermione and I are not… involved, Mother.”
Eileen frowned at her son. “Why not? She’s lovely, Severus. You spoke so highly of her.”
“Mother, please. This isn’t the time for a discussion of my love life.” He seemed genuinely embarrassed, and Hermione relished his moment of weakness.
“Do you not think of him in a romantic sense, my dear?” Eileen’s eyes returned to her.
Hermione was unsure how to answer the question. Of course, she was beginning to think of him in such a sense, but thinking was as far as it would get. She knew there would never be anything between her and Snape, despite how much it interested her or how often she had thought about it the past few nights.
Snape dismissed the question before Hermione could develop an adequate response. “Don’t be silly, Mother. Miss Granger is old enough to be my daughter; of course she doesn’t think of me in a romantic sense.”
“Whatever you say, Severus,” Eileen said with a smile. She stifled a yawn against a frail hand. “Oh, my, I apologize. It’s been a long day for me.”
Snape looked at the clock on the wall. “You should rest. I’ll take Miss Granger home and return shortly.”
“No, Severus, you should go home and get some sleep. You’ve been here for hours.” Eileen looked at Hermione. “Make sure he gets to bed for me.”
Hermione nodded. “Yes, Mrs. Snape, I will.”
“You come back tomorrow morning after we’ve both rested, and we’ll talk some more,” she told Snape.
He opened his mouth, and Hermione could almost see the argument on the verge of spilling out. Instead, he nodded and stooped to kiss her forehead. “Rest well, Mother.”
“And you, my son.” Eileen looked at Hermione again. “Take care of him for me.”
Hermione smiled at her before following Snape out of the room and down the hall. He stopped in front of the elevator instead of taking the stairs. They both stood in awkward silence before the steel doors. After several seconds of waiting, the doors opened to reveal a spacious elevator. She stepped inside first and hit the button for the ground floor. Once the doors closed, Snape slumped against the wall, his hands clutching the railing for support. His eyelids appeared almost translucent the way they were stretched over his dark eyes. He was obviously exhausted from the taxing day and needed the rest more than anyone.
“Can you Apparate, sir?” Hermione asked when the elevator doors opened.
“Of course I can, Miss Granger,” he said, stepping out into the hall and slowly walking toward the exit. She followed behind, watching his body sway slightly as he walked.
When they reached the empty alley, she touched his shoulder. “I promised your mother that I would see you home to bed.”
He turned and gave her a very small, weary smile. “I’m quite capable of doing that myself.”
“Don’t be so stubborn.” Hermione stepped into him and wrapped her arms around his body. His initial stiffness over being touched dissipated, and he pulled her closer. Laying her head against his chest, she Apparated them to his sparsely furnished living room. Apparently, her minor redecoration had been left intact because the plush couch was still sitting there in place of the two armchairs.
Hermione pulled her arms away from him and stepped back. Snape let himself fall back into the couch. He sighed and rested his head on the cushions behind him. He seemed more peaceful than she had ever seen him during all the years they had been acquainted. Hermione wasn’t sure how long his mother had been in the coma, but judging from her deteriorated health and Snape’s obsession, it had been several years. She sat on the cushion beside him and folded her hands in her lap. “Congratulations on the successful potion, Professor.”
His eyes slowly opened. “It would not have been possible without you.”
The warmth in his eyes made her nervous. She was unsure how to act around this side of him. She had always dealt with his difficult side or his academic side, but not with this more vulnerable part of his personality. Hermione found it intimidating. “I didn’t know the potion was for your mother. Do you mind if I ask how she was injured?”
Snape closed his eyes again, and his brow furrowed. “I am to blame. It happened shortly before my first year at Hogwarts.”
“How did you hurt her?” Hermione asked in the softest voice possible.
He sighed deeply. “I did not intend to hurt her. I was unable to control my magic at such a young age. My father did not know my mother was a witch, or that I was destined to become a wizard and study at Hogwarts. When I received the invitation, my mother was forced to explain the situation to him. He became exceedingly upset. I was a child; I had no idea that my emotions could manifest into powerful magic.”
Hermione tentatively touched his shoulder. He finally opened his eyes to look at her. “He was irate, screaming and cursing at her, calling her a liar and a devil. I wanted to protect her, but I was no match for my father. So, I…” Snape trailed off and looked away. After a long minute of silence, he finally he resumed his explanation. “My power escaped me and lashed out at him, but emotion does not aim well. It hit her instead.” The regret in his voice was overpowering.
“The damage could not have been that bad. A competent Healer could have -”
Snape shook his head. “My father forbid it, and I was too young to defy him. He admitted her to a Muggle hospital and told me that her fate was in the true doctors’ hands - that God would decide if she would live or die, not some other witch.”
Hermione unconsciously rubbed his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Why didn’t you ever go back for her when you were older?”
“St. Mungo’s would be unable to help her. The Dark magic has been inside her for too long to heal. My only hope was to create a potion to revive her.”
“And your father?”
“He’s alive. Seven weeks ago one of the nurses told me that he planned on signing the proper documents to remove her feeding tube. She would die shortly after the removal. That is why I have been working so frantically on the potion.”
“Couldn’t you speak with your father? Make him see sense?”
Snape shook his head and removed her hand from his shoulder. He brought it down to his lap and placed it on his leg, his own hand covering hers. “He’s disowned me and refuses to speak to me. After she was injured, he told me that I should go to Hogwarts and stay there. That’s what I did. I haven’t seen him in many years.”
Hermione smiled softly and pulled her hand from beneath his. She lightly touched his black hair, smoothing the strands down with care. “I’m very happy that I was able to help you complete the potion,” she said.
He looked so different sitting there beside her, unlike any time she had ever seen him before. He appeared to be receptive, willing to give and take. His demeanor was not harsh or overbearing, but actually hesitant. It was obvious he desperately wanted to talk to someone about the burden, but had not allowed himself to confide in anyone before. Hermione was honored that he trusted her enough to reveal himself so completely.
Gently, Snape touched the wrist of the hand stroking his hair. “I apologize for my mother’s insinuations that we are involved,” he murmured, watching her from lowered eyes.
“I didn’t mind at all, actually,” she replied with a subtle smile.
Snape’s fingertips were playing over her wrist, his thumb rubbing hypnotic circles around her pulse point. “Surely you would be embarrassed at the mere thought of anything between us.”
His touch was distracting and more arousing than Hermione cared to admit to anyone, even herself. "Oh, no, I disagree.” She took a deep breath and plunged ahead. “Despite what you may think I think of you, I hold you in the highest of esteem. You’re a fascinating man, and I strongly believe that any woman would count herself lucky to enjoy this side of you.”
She watched his lips go slack with shock. They parted to let his tongue dart out and quickly wet them in a nervous gesture. Her fingers were still lightly twined in his hair, and his hand was still holding her wrist against the side of his face. Surely he could hear the rhythmic thumping of her heart in the stillness of the room. Perhaps I’ve gone too far, and the statement was too bold. I’ll never be able to take it back now, she thought.
“My mother likes you, you know,” he finally said in a soft voice.
Hermione smiled at the veiled compliment. “Do you admire me as much as she claims you do?”
He removed her hand from his hair and sat it down on the cushion between them. “I admire you a great deal.” After a silent moment he chuckled and looked away. “Although, I never thought I’d be telling you.
“You should get some sleep, Professor. It’s late.”
He rose from the couch and looked down at her with his new, unusually kind eyes. “Yes, I will. I want to bathe first, and then I’ll go to bed.”
Hermione raised a brow as if questioning the truth of that statement.
“I give you my word,” Snape answered with a slight smirk.
She couldn’t help but smile back at him. “You have no idea how happy it makes me to see you happy.”
“And I’m sure I’ll regret showing you I am capable of happiness,” he replied. “Regardless, I want to thank you for your help in this matter of my mother and the potion. My gratitude exceeds mere words.”
“You’re welcome. Now, off to the bath with you.”
She watched as he turned around and disappeared down the hall. His words had obviously been a dismissal. She had fulfilled her promise to his mother and brought him home safely. He had given her permission to leave, but Hermione wanted to make sure he actually did go to bed. Beside that, she couldn’t seem to find the strength to stand. The ghost of his touch was still tingling on her wrist and causing the butterflies in her stomach to flutter about restlessly. Deep, calming breaths only made the feeling worse.
Truth be told, Hermione had not given much thought to linking herself romantically with Snape. While she had grown to admire and respect him, and then find him attractive on more levels than simple physical attraction, she had not seriously considered a relationship beyond academic friends. Fantasies were as far as it went. He was too withdrawn and inaccessible, not to mention she was unsure if he would find her attractive. However, when his mother assumed that she and Snape were dating, Hermione’s heart had ached at the thought. She had felt a strange compulsion to assure his mother that they were happily together.
I really should leave him be. There’s no reason for me to wait around here and tuck him in like a nanny. Hermione slowly walked back to the bedroom and turned down the sheets for him. She also placed a warming charm on the bed linens to take away the sting of the cold sheets and make his rest more comfortable. Running a hand over his pillow, she smoothed away the wrinkles.
Hermione smiled to herself and turned to leave the room. Just as she stepped into the doorway she collided with someone. Him. Her palms were pressed against his bare chest, and his hands wrapped around her elbows to keep her from falling over. She looked down to see he was wearing a towel around his waist. The room was dark, and his pale skin seemed to stand out against the shadows on the walls.
Snape’s hands slid up to grasp her upper arms, giving them a slight squeeze. She had to remind herself to breathe when his lips dipped down to the curve of her ear. His warm breath flowed over the sensitive skin there. “I’m sorry. I did not know you were still here, Miss Granger.”
The butterflies in Hermione’s stomach turned into a pit of writhing snakes. She contemplated lifting her head and turning it the slightest bit to the right in an attempt to kiss him. His mouth was closer to her own than it had ever been. Mere inches stood between her and a kiss from him. “Please call me Hermione,” she whispered.
“Hermione,” Snape said, testing the name. “I suppose I should offer the same courtesy to you. My given name is Severus.”
Her heart was pounding and her mouth was dry. “I turned down your bed and warmed it for you.”
“That was unnecessary, but kind of you, nonetheless.” His fingers were slowly, gently kneading the muscles in her upper arms.
Hermione extracted herself from his grip and backed down the hall, watching him. “I shouldn’t keep you from your sleep,” she said. With a quick wave, she Disapparated.
Chapter 14: A Setback and a Step Forward
Hermione Apparated to Snape’s house as she did every Monday morning, but a quick inspection of the rooms revealed he was gone. She hoped he had slept well the night before because he had obviously gone to his mother’s bedside again. She looked for a note from him, but there was nothing to be found, not even a list of potions for the day. Hermione spent nearly an hour arranging and rearranging the jars of ingredients on the shelves around the laboratory as she waited for him.
The minutes seemed to last for hours, making her anticipate his return all that much the more. After what had transpired between them the previous night, she was unsure how to act around him. Would it be best to treat him as she always had and hold him at a distance, or would he allow her to be more informal and friendly? Hermione desperately wanted to speak to him as a close friend, but she was unsure what his reaction would be.
The room was so quiet she could hear the ticking of the clock. Hopping off the stool she was perched on, she Disapparated to the alley beside the hospital. Luckily no one was within sight, relieving her of the need for damage control. She retraced their path from the previous night, and stepped onto the third floor expecting to find busy nurses and perhaps a food cart rolling around with breakfast. Instead, she was confronted with two very angry men a few yards down the hallway.
“If you touch her or try to pour those vile poisons down her throat, I will -”
“What? What? Kill her? That’s what you’re doing right now!” Snape’s back was to her and his arms were stiff, fists clenched at his sides. “I healed her! I can do it again!”
Hermione strained to see over her former Professor’s shoulder. An older man with a face just as harsh was standing there, fury exuding from his very pores. “Take your delusions and your wickedness elsewhere, Severus. You aren’t wanted here.”
“She’s going to die!”
“If that is her fate, then so be it. I will not have you interfere with this evil you try to masquerade as magic. I am saving her soul!”
“You’re killing her and I -” Snape broke off as the older man glanced past him, noticing Hermione. Looking over his shoulder, Snape saw her as well. His eyes cooled from fury to weariness. “Miss Granger, please leave,” he said, nodding at the elevator behind her.
“Is she one of them too, Severus? Have you no decency? You brought them into this hospital, and you expect me to stand for it?” The older man took two steps around Snape and advanced on her.
Snape turned and grabbed his arm roughly. “If you touch her, I’ll -”
“You’ll what? Kill me? Work your devilish wizardry on your own father?”
With a sound of complete disgust, Snape released the man’s arm and took several long strides to where Hermione stood. He snatched her arm and pulled her back into the elevator. “Professor?” she said after the doors closed.
Snape slumped against the wall and slid down to the floor. He shook his head at her, refusing to give any further details about what had happened. His face was pale, and his eyes were bloodshot and dull; he looked as bad as he had before his mother had been revived. “Tell me what’s wrong,” Hermione said softly, kneeling before him and pushing his hair out of his face. When he didn’t respond, she stroked his face with a trembling hand. “Severus, please.”
Her use of his given name startled him enough to evoke a response. “You shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what? Tell me what has happened.”
He shook his head again and turned his face away from her gentle fingertips. The elevator was moving, and Hermione knew it was only a matter of seconds before the doors opened and someone else joined them. She did the only thing she could think of - she leant forward and wrapped her arms around him tightly, Disapparating them both before the metal doors parted.
They reappeared in the floor of her living room. Crookshanks let out a startled meow and stalked out of the room. The morning sun filtered through the sheer curtains and cast a sick, yellow glow on Snape’s pallid skin. His face was contorted in helplessness and pain, his eyes empty of life. “Please, tell me what happened. Please.” Hermione waited with bated breath as his thin lips parted.
“I can’t go through this again,” he whispered in a rough, heartbroken voice.
“Go through what? What has happened?”
He shook his head and turned away from her. “Cancer. They’ve discovered an inoperable tumor in her brain. The doctors say that even though she is out of the coma, they doubt she will live for more than a few months.”
“The man arguing with you was your father?” Hermione asked, moving to kneel in front of him.
Snape nodded, his hair falling forward to curtain his face. “I don’t want her to die, but he’s forbidden me to do anything, and the legal rights are his.” He paused and sighed deeply. “I’m not even sure I could do anything to help her now, and even if I could, she won’t come with me. She says she must stay with my father.”
Hermione didn’t know what to say. He had only gotten his mother back hours before, and now she was being taken away from him again. After witnessing his sleepless nights and the aftermath of his guilt over hurting her, she could only imagine what kind of havoc this new development was causing in his mind. “I’m sorry, Professor,” she said softly, watching his downcast eyes.
He shook his head and waved her apology away with a hand. “There is no need for you to apologize.”
Shifting closer to him, she placed one of her hands on top of his. “I wish I could help. Is there anything I can do?”
“No,” he replied, closing his eyes. His lashes cast dainty shadows across the skin below his eyes, and Hermione couldn’t stop herself from raising her hand to touch his face. To her surprise, Snape covered her hand with his and pressed his cheek more firmly into her palm. Her breath hitched when he turned his head to slide his warm lips over the heel of her hand. Small puffs of his breath tickled her palm and wrist.
His acceptance of her touch made her bold. She settled on the floor beside Snape, wrapping her arms around him and pulling his head down to rest on her chest. He put up little resistance and nuzzled his head against her breasts. Hermione held him there with her fingers twined in his hair, gently massaging his scalp.
“You smell very good.” His voice was startlingly close, but she tried to calm her nerves and make him comfortable. “No one has been this close to me in a very long time,” he said.
Hermione smiled and bent to kiss the crown of his head. She opened her mouth to speak, but his movements made the words die on her lips. He positioned his mouth at her shoulder and slowly worked his way up to the sensitive spot where it curved up into her neck. His hot breath on her skin nearly threw her into a panic. In the last week she had entertained this fantasy once or twice, but the real thing was quite different. Fantasies were just that: fantasies; they would never happen, and there were never any true repercussions for indulging in them. His lips brushing over her pulse point drove home the fact that this was a very real situation.
Snape pressed hesitant kisses on her neck, his nose nuzzling the tender flesh there. As much as his actions scared Hermione, they also excited her. The fantasies she had indulged in about him were coming true, and she was unsure if she should stop him or if she should urge him on further. Her body was obviously on board for the latter course of action because her fingers were pressed against the back of his head, pulling him closer, and her chest was rising and falling swiftly and irregularly.
His warm breath fell on her ear just before the tip of his tongue traced her lobe. “I’m sorry, Hermione… so sorry,” he whispered in a breathless voice.
“Why?” she managed to choke out.
He placed small kisses along her jaw line before he answered. “I shouldn’t take advantage of you like this.”
Before she could respond, he covered her lips with his own and kissed her. The move startled her momentarily, but she regained herself and returned the simple kiss. When his lips moved down to her neck again, she was able to speak. “You’re not taking advantage of me, Professor.”
“Severus,” he reminded her between kisses on her throat.
“Severus,” Hermione repeated. “I feel as if I’m taking advantage of you after all you’ve been through in the last few hours.” She found it extremely difficult to talk with his mouth on her neck, but she got her point across in a trembling voice. He was only here on the floor of her flat because he was so distraught over his mother. The Severus Snape she knew wouldn’t have kissed her or even touched her in such a way. His emotions were running high, and he was looking for comfort in any way he could find it.
He lifted his head and let his lips hover over hers. “I assure you, you are not taking advantage of me, Hermione.” Sliding one of his hands over her waist, he moved the other to cup her right breast.
She couldn’t take the teasing any longer and closed the small distance between their lips, kissing him. Though she initiated the kiss, he deepened it by parting his lips and tentatively pressing his tongue between them. She moaned and opened her mouth for him. The small sound of approval from Hermione seemed to add fuel to his fire. Snape moved a hand from her waist to the back of her neck. She felt his tongue trace the contours of her mouth, running along her teeth before it tangled with her own tongue.
The kiss was slow and leisurely, though an underlying urgency laced his movements. His hands roamed restlessly over her, she lost track of where they had been and what he had touched. All she knew was that he had thoroughly mapped her curves with his fingertips by the time they both pulled away for a breath. She watched him in wonder. Snape’s face was flushed with healthy color, and his lips were glistening and slightly parted to allow strong breaths of air to be pushed out. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he watched her.
For a fleeting moment, Hermione considered stopping the encounter at the kiss, but she knew if she did he would never give her this chance again, nor would she ever see this side of him again. He would lock away any feelings or attraction he might have for her and, most likely, treat her like a student again. It was the last thing she wanted. She actually wanted him to continue to look at her the way he was at that moment, his eyes gleaming in the morning sun coming in through the window.
Hermione ran her hands up his chest and over his shoulders. She twirled strands of his hair around her fingers. “Shall we go to my bedroom?” she asked in a small, hesitant voice.
“Please,” he replied, his eyes never leaving her face.
She extracted herself from his arms, still wrapped firmly around her, and stood on shaky legs. Snape took her extended hand and stood as well. She expected a moment of awkwardness as they walked across the flat to her bedroom, but Snape had other things in mind. His arms went around her waist again, and he stepped into her body as he dipped his head down to kiss her again.
Hermione threw her arms around his neck and allowed him to back her into the bedroom. She fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, but her shaking hands, divided attention, and lack of sight made it extremely difficult. Once they were standing in the middle of her bedroom floor, he took pity on her, placing gentle hands over hers and undoing the buttons himself. She was much more suited to the less delicate task of jerking the shirt out of his pants so he could shrug out of it. His bare chest was warm and mostly smooth beneath her fingertips.
“You wore your robes into the hospital,” he whispered, trailing his fingers over the sleeves. Hermione had not even thought of the odd looks from the Muggles when she burst into the hospital in her blue robes. “I’ve been wondering what you always wear under these robes when you work with me.”
“You’ve thought about that?” Hermione asked, looking up to meet his gaze.
Snape’s fingers quickly unfastened the robes and pushed them off her shoulders. “Lately, yes.” He took in her t-shirt and jeans. “I should have guessed you would be wearing these silly Muggle clothes.”
“You… don’t like them?” Her voice was soft and unsure.
He smiled and slipped both his hands beneath her shirt. She felt his slightly cool fingers moving up her sides. “Oh, no, I like them very much. They’re quite easy to dispose of.” With that said, he pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it on the floor. When his eyes returned to look at her bra, Hermione wanted to cross her arms over her chest. Before she could make the self-conscious gesture, he was on her again, his arms wrapped around her tightly. He guided her over to the bed, and he followed her down onto the mattress when she had no choice but to fall back on it. Suddenly his body was pressed full length against hers, and she was unsure where to put her hands. She settled for grasping his shoulders when he began kissing her exposed neck and chest again.
She vaguely felt a tugging sensation around her navel, but his body was blocking her view. All she could see was a mass of black hair over her breasts. It wasn’t until the cool air of the bedroom hit her hips that she realized what he had done. Her jeans and panties were at her knees, and Snape continued to guide them down her calves until he encountered her shoes. Within seconds, he had pulled both the shoes and the clothes from her body. He kneeled before her on the bed and unfastened his slacks. Try as she might, Hermione couldn’t look away as the pants fell to his knees. Their kissing and touching had obviously had an effect on him, if his straining erection was any indication. Though she had never been extremely forward in bed, Hermione wriggled her body and spread her legs wider in a silent invitation.
Snape rid himself of his slacks and settled between her thighs, his hands wriggling their way beneath her to unhook the bra. It was soon thrown on the floor with her other pieces of clothing. She was completely naked in bed with Professor Snape. Hermione mentally shook her head. Severus. I am naked in bed with Severus Snape, and I desperately want him to make love to me. He answered her wish with a kiss and a swift thrust into her depths. The sudden sensation of being filled tore a sharp gasp from her throat and curled her toes into the sheets.
As he began to move within her, he trailed his kisses down to her neck and latched his lips onto the most sensitive spot there, alternately sucking and laving it with his tongue. It was too much for her. She never thought they would be moving together, pressing their hips frantically into each other like this. His teeth grazed ever so slightly against her neck. Each of his strokes pierced through her and coiled the tension in her even tighter. “Don’t stop,” she said through labored breaths.
He heard her plea and increased his rhythm, pushing even deeper into her until she thought her head might hit the wooden headboard behind her. Hermione couldn’t stand it any longer. Her release was so close, but she couldn’t seem to catch it. Snaking a hand down her abdomen, she brushed two fingers over the slick nub protruding from her folds. He slammed into her just as she climaxed, her contracting walls ripping a low groan from him. A moment later his body tensed, and he buried his face in her neck. She felt him tremble before the eventual warmth as he released himself within her. Hermione ran her hands over his back, soothing his exhausted body and attempting to show his wounded mind some sense of support and affection.
“Thank you, Hermione,” Snape whispered in her ear.
“You should get some sleep, Professor.”
“Severus,” he said, correcting her again. “Please call me Severus.” She watched as he slowly closed his eyes and his breathing evened out. Hermione wasn’t feeling all that tired after what she had just done with Snape, so she lay beside him in bed, watching him fall asleep. The lines eventually disappeared from his face as he settled into rest. She followed him into sleep not long after, even though she didn’t think she was all that tired.
INDEX: Chapters 1 & 2 || Chapters 3 & 4 || Chapters 5 & 6 || Chapters 7 & 8 || Chapters 9 & 10 || Chapters 11 & 12 || Chapters 13 & 14 || Chapter 15
Title: Love Him in My Absence (Chapters 13 & 14)
Author: anogete
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Hermione uncovers Snape's final remaining secret when he hires her as an assistant. Will she be able to keep her job and help him through another difficult time in his life?
Spoilers: HBP
Distribution: Please ask first.
Disclaimer: Alll characters belong to J.K. Rowling.
Author's Note: A huge thank you to snarkyroxy, my beta. Also, thanks go out to Allyness29 and Jessica for their help with this fic.
Chapter 13: I’d Like You to Meet…
The first night back in her own apartment would have been peaceful had she not being woken a few minutes after midnight. The frantic banging at her door startled Hermione out of a deep sleep. She sat up in bed, clutching the sheet to her chest and searching the dark room with wide eyes. It took several seconds to register that someone was knocking for entrance. She couldn’t think of anyone who would be visiting her this late at night, but by the force of the knocking, it was someone who was quite desperate to see her.
She quickly pulled her robe on and grabbed her wand from the nightstand. It was better to be safe than sorry when woken after midnight by an unexpected visitor. Adjusting her grip on the wand, she unlocked the door, leaving the chain and her wards still intact. The small crack in the open door revealed her caller.
“Miss Granger.” Professor Snape was standing outside her door, his hand resting on the doorframe. He appeared to be slightly out of breath and looked somewhat disheveled.
Hermione was extremely confused, but she quickly removed the chain and her wards from the entrance, swinging the door open wider. “Professor? What are you doing here?”
“I need you to come with me,” he said, stepping inside her flat.
Hermione pulled her robe tighter around her body. She felt self-conscious with him looming over her. “Where?”
“It doesn’t matter. Please dress yourself and come with me.” His voice was breathy and quick. He didn’t appear to be in trouble, but he was more excitable than usual.
Hermione looked at the clock. “Professor, it’s after midnight. Where would you like me to go?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Well, yes, I suppose.”
Snape extended his hand. “Then please get dressed and come with me. I can’t explain here.”
Despite her reservations, she couldn’t turn him down and refuse to go with him. Her curiosity was much too strong to crawl back into bed without seeing what he obviously wanted to show her. Without a word, she retreated to her bedroom and threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She certainly hoped they wouldn’t be going to a public place because her hair most likely looked a mess.
As soon as she stepped out of her bedroom, Snape’s arms were around her, pulling her close. Hermione opened her mouth in surprise, but he spoke first. “I’m going to Disapparate us both.”
She closed her eyes tightly and felt the momentary confusion of dual Apparation. When she opened her eyes again, they were standing outside a large building in an empty alley. The wind whipped through the small space and blew her hair into her face. The harsh weather and large raindrops hitting the ground were disorienting after the dual Apparation. Before she could gather herself, Snape took her hand in his and pulled her after him. Hermione wasn’t prepared or strong enough to stop him. She followed in his wake, stumbling down the alley and around to the front of the building. Bright lights cast a glow around the dark sidewalk in front. She immediately recognized the location from spying on Snape the previous night.
He pulled her into the hospital and up the flights of stairs, never letting go of her hand. She would have followed him regardless. If the potion worked, then she was about to meet the mystery person that Snape had been visiting. “The potion - it worked?” she asked, gasping for breath as he opened the door to the third floor.
“Yes,” Snape said, giving her hand a slight squeeze before he led her down the hallway. The nurses were buzzing about their workstation. They watched both Snape and Hermione with interest when the two passed by on their way to the room.
An elderly woman was in the narrow hospital bed, but her eyes slowly opened when she heard the commotion of people entering. She looked at Snape and smiled softly before turning her gaze to Hermione. Hermione shifted uncomfortably under the dark eyes. There was something vaguely familiar about her, but she didn’t believe they had ever met.
Snape pulled Hermione forward and grabbed her shoulders, leading her closer to the bed. She could see the woman’s eyes watching Snape’s hands on her shoulders. Finally, the woman looked at Hermione’s face, and she smiled warmly, the edges her of eyes crinkling up in happiness. “Hello, my dear.”
Hermione opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She finally forced a soft hello out and then turned to look at Snape over her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m a bit confused. I don’t know who this is.”
His long fingers gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze of reassurance. “This is Eileen, my mother. Mother, this is Hermione Granger.”
If Snape’s hands had not been on her shoulders, Hermione would have toppled over backward and fainted. The last person she had expected was to see his mother. She assumed his mother had passed away years ago. Never in her wildest dreams did she think Snape’s mother had been in a Muggle hospital for who knew how many years.
“I, umm… Forgive me, but I’m just a bit surprised by all of this,” Hermione said to the woman in the hospital bed. Snape slowly released his hold on her shoulders and stepped over to the other side of the bed to take his mother’s hand.
“Surprised? Severus told me that you were the one who finished the potion.”
Hermione looked at Snape, and everything fell into place. His mother had been in the coma for quite some time, and he had been working on the cure for nearly as long. The blue algae idea worked and created a potion that could revive coma patients. Not only had it worked, but Snape had told his mother she was responsible. “Well, I just made a suggestion,” Hermione said, still watching Snape. She looked down to his mother again and gave the other woman a smile. “I’m very happy it worked.”
Eileen’s tired eyes twinkled as she returned Hermione’s smile. “From the way my son has been talking, he admires you very much, Hermione.”
“Oh?” Hermione looked from Eileen to Snape and then back again. His face was schooled into the usual blank expression, but his eyes were hooded and darting around the room nervously.
“Of course, my dear,” Eileen said. “And I, for one, am very happy that Severus has found someone as beautiful and talented as you to balance out his gloomy side. Isn’t that right, Severus?” Hermione blushed and glanced at the floor. She never was very good with compliments, and it seemed the Eileen Snape was under the impression that she was dating her son.
Snape intervened and shook his head. “Hermione and I are not… involved, Mother.”
Eileen frowned at her son. “Why not? She’s lovely, Severus. You spoke so highly of her.”
“Mother, please. This isn’t the time for a discussion of my love life.” He seemed genuinely embarrassed, and Hermione relished his moment of weakness.
“Do you not think of him in a romantic sense, my dear?” Eileen’s eyes returned to her.
Hermione was unsure how to answer the question. Of course, she was beginning to think of him in such a sense, but thinking was as far as it would get. She knew there would never be anything between her and Snape, despite how much it interested her or how often she had thought about it the past few nights.
Snape dismissed the question before Hermione could develop an adequate response. “Don’t be silly, Mother. Miss Granger is old enough to be my daughter; of course she doesn’t think of me in a romantic sense.”
“Whatever you say, Severus,” Eileen said with a smile. She stifled a yawn against a frail hand. “Oh, my, I apologize. It’s been a long day for me.”
Snape looked at the clock on the wall. “You should rest. I’ll take Miss Granger home and return shortly.”
“No, Severus, you should go home and get some sleep. You’ve been here for hours.” Eileen looked at Hermione. “Make sure he gets to bed for me.”
Hermione nodded. “Yes, Mrs. Snape, I will.”
“You come back tomorrow morning after we’ve both rested, and we’ll talk some more,” she told Snape.
He opened his mouth, and Hermione could almost see the argument on the verge of spilling out. Instead, he nodded and stooped to kiss her forehead. “Rest well, Mother.”
“And you, my son.” Eileen looked at Hermione again. “Take care of him for me.”
Hermione smiled at her before following Snape out of the room and down the hall. He stopped in front of the elevator instead of taking the stairs. They both stood in awkward silence before the steel doors. After several seconds of waiting, the doors opened to reveal a spacious elevator. She stepped inside first and hit the button for the ground floor. Once the doors closed, Snape slumped against the wall, his hands clutching the railing for support. His eyelids appeared almost translucent the way they were stretched over his dark eyes. He was obviously exhausted from the taxing day and needed the rest more than anyone.
“Can you Apparate, sir?” Hermione asked when the elevator doors opened.
“Of course I can, Miss Granger,” he said, stepping out into the hall and slowly walking toward the exit. She followed behind, watching his body sway slightly as he walked.
When they reached the empty alley, she touched his shoulder. “I promised your mother that I would see you home to bed.”
He turned and gave her a very small, weary smile. “I’m quite capable of doing that myself.”
“Don’t be so stubborn.” Hermione stepped into him and wrapped her arms around his body. His initial stiffness over being touched dissipated, and he pulled her closer. Laying her head against his chest, she Apparated them to his sparsely furnished living room. Apparently, her minor redecoration had been left intact because the plush couch was still sitting there in place of the two armchairs.
Hermione pulled her arms away from him and stepped back. Snape let himself fall back into the couch. He sighed and rested his head on the cushions behind him. He seemed more peaceful than she had ever seen him during all the years they had been acquainted. Hermione wasn’t sure how long his mother had been in the coma, but judging from her deteriorated health and Snape’s obsession, it had been several years. She sat on the cushion beside him and folded her hands in her lap. “Congratulations on the successful potion, Professor.”
His eyes slowly opened. “It would not have been possible without you.”
The warmth in his eyes made her nervous. She was unsure how to act around this side of him. She had always dealt with his difficult side or his academic side, but not with this more vulnerable part of his personality. Hermione found it intimidating. “I didn’t know the potion was for your mother. Do you mind if I ask how she was injured?”
Snape closed his eyes again, and his brow furrowed. “I am to blame. It happened shortly before my first year at Hogwarts.”
“How did you hurt her?” Hermione asked in the softest voice possible.
He sighed deeply. “I did not intend to hurt her. I was unable to control my magic at such a young age. My father did not know my mother was a witch, or that I was destined to become a wizard and study at Hogwarts. When I received the invitation, my mother was forced to explain the situation to him. He became exceedingly upset. I was a child; I had no idea that my emotions could manifest into powerful magic.”
Hermione tentatively touched his shoulder. He finally opened his eyes to look at her. “He was irate, screaming and cursing at her, calling her a liar and a devil. I wanted to protect her, but I was no match for my father. So, I…” Snape trailed off and looked away. After a long minute of silence, he finally he resumed his explanation. “My power escaped me and lashed out at him, but emotion does not aim well. It hit her instead.” The regret in his voice was overpowering.
“The damage could not have been that bad. A competent Healer could have -”
Snape shook his head. “My father forbid it, and I was too young to defy him. He admitted her to a Muggle hospital and told me that her fate was in the true doctors’ hands - that God would decide if she would live or die, not some other witch.”
Hermione unconsciously rubbed his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Why didn’t you ever go back for her when you were older?”
“St. Mungo’s would be unable to help her. The Dark magic has been inside her for too long to heal. My only hope was to create a potion to revive her.”
“And your father?”
“He’s alive. Seven weeks ago one of the nurses told me that he planned on signing the proper documents to remove her feeding tube. She would die shortly after the removal. That is why I have been working so frantically on the potion.”
“Couldn’t you speak with your father? Make him see sense?”
Snape shook his head and removed her hand from his shoulder. He brought it down to his lap and placed it on his leg, his own hand covering hers. “He’s disowned me and refuses to speak to me. After she was injured, he told me that I should go to Hogwarts and stay there. That’s what I did. I haven’t seen him in many years.”
Hermione smiled softly and pulled her hand from beneath his. She lightly touched his black hair, smoothing the strands down with care. “I’m very happy that I was able to help you complete the potion,” she said.
He looked so different sitting there beside her, unlike any time she had ever seen him before. He appeared to be receptive, willing to give and take. His demeanor was not harsh or overbearing, but actually hesitant. It was obvious he desperately wanted to talk to someone about the burden, but had not allowed himself to confide in anyone before. Hermione was honored that he trusted her enough to reveal himself so completely.
Gently, Snape touched the wrist of the hand stroking his hair. “I apologize for my mother’s insinuations that we are involved,” he murmured, watching her from lowered eyes.
“I didn’t mind at all, actually,” she replied with a subtle smile.
Snape’s fingertips were playing over her wrist, his thumb rubbing hypnotic circles around her pulse point. “Surely you would be embarrassed at the mere thought of anything between us.”
His touch was distracting and more arousing than Hermione cared to admit to anyone, even herself. "Oh, no, I disagree.” She took a deep breath and plunged ahead. “Despite what you may think I think of you, I hold you in the highest of esteem. You’re a fascinating man, and I strongly believe that any woman would count herself lucky to enjoy this side of you.”
She watched his lips go slack with shock. They parted to let his tongue dart out and quickly wet them in a nervous gesture. Her fingers were still lightly twined in his hair, and his hand was still holding her wrist against the side of his face. Surely he could hear the rhythmic thumping of her heart in the stillness of the room. Perhaps I’ve gone too far, and the statement was too bold. I’ll never be able to take it back now, she thought.
“My mother likes you, you know,” he finally said in a soft voice.
Hermione smiled at the veiled compliment. “Do you admire me as much as she claims you do?”
He removed her hand from his hair and sat it down on the cushion between them. “I admire you a great deal.” After a silent moment he chuckled and looked away. “Although, I never thought I’d be telling you.
“You should get some sleep, Professor. It’s late.”
He rose from the couch and looked down at her with his new, unusually kind eyes. “Yes, I will. I want to bathe first, and then I’ll go to bed.”
Hermione raised a brow as if questioning the truth of that statement.
“I give you my word,” Snape answered with a slight smirk.
She couldn’t help but smile back at him. “You have no idea how happy it makes me to see you happy.”
“And I’m sure I’ll regret showing you I am capable of happiness,” he replied. “Regardless, I want to thank you for your help in this matter of my mother and the potion. My gratitude exceeds mere words.”
“You’re welcome. Now, off to the bath with you.”
She watched as he turned around and disappeared down the hall. His words had obviously been a dismissal. She had fulfilled her promise to his mother and brought him home safely. He had given her permission to leave, but Hermione wanted to make sure he actually did go to bed. Beside that, she couldn’t seem to find the strength to stand. The ghost of his touch was still tingling on her wrist and causing the butterflies in her stomach to flutter about restlessly. Deep, calming breaths only made the feeling worse.
Truth be told, Hermione had not given much thought to linking herself romantically with Snape. While she had grown to admire and respect him, and then find him attractive on more levels than simple physical attraction, she had not seriously considered a relationship beyond academic friends. Fantasies were as far as it went. He was too withdrawn and inaccessible, not to mention she was unsure if he would find her attractive. However, when his mother assumed that she and Snape were dating, Hermione’s heart had ached at the thought. She had felt a strange compulsion to assure his mother that they were happily together.
I really should leave him be. There’s no reason for me to wait around here and tuck him in like a nanny. Hermione slowly walked back to the bedroom and turned down the sheets for him. She also placed a warming charm on the bed linens to take away the sting of the cold sheets and make his rest more comfortable. Running a hand over his pillow, she smoothed away the wrinkles.
Hermione smiled to herself and turned to leave the room. Just as she stepped into the doorway she collided with someone. Him. Her palms were pressed against his bare chest, and his hands wrapped around her elbows to keep her from falling over. She looked down to see he was wearing a towel around his waist. The room was dark, and his pale skin seemed to stand out against the shadows on the walls.
Snape’s hands slid up to grasp her upper arms, giving them a slight squeeze. She had to remind herself to breathe when his lips dipped down to the curve of her ear. His warm breath flowed over the sensitive skin there. “I’m sorry. I did not know you were still here, Miss Granger.”
The butterflies in Hermione’s stomach turned into a pit of writhing snakes. She contemplated lifting her head and turning it the slightest bit to the right in an attempt to kiss him. His mouth was closer to her own than it had ever been. Mere inches stood between her and a kiss from him. “Please call me Hermione,” she whispered.
“Hermione,” Snape said, testing the name. “I suppose I should offer the same courtesy to you. My given name is Severus.”
Her heart was pounding and her mouth was dry. “I turned down your bed and warmed it for you.”
“That was unnecessary, but kind of you, nonetheless.” His fingers were slowly, gently kneading the muscles in her upper arms.
Hermione extracted herself from his grip and backed down the hall, watching him. “I shouldn’t keep you from your sleep,” she said. With a quick wave, she Disapparated.
Chapter 14: A Setback and a Step Forward
Hermione Apparated to Snape’s house as she did every Monday morning, but a quick inspection of the rooms revealed he was gone. She hoped he had slept well the night before because he had obviously gone to his mother’s bedside again. She looked for a note from him, but there was nothing to be found, not even a list of potions for the day. Hermione spent nearly an hour arranging and rearranging the jars of ingredients on the shelves around the laboratory as she waited for him.
The minutes seemed to last for hours, making her anticipate his return all that much the more. After what had transpired between them the previous night, she was unsure how to act around him. Would it be best to treat him as she always had and hold him at a distance, or would he allow her to be more informal and friendly? Hermione desperately wanted to speak to him as a close friend, but she was unsure what his reaction would be.
The room was so quiet she could hear the ticking of the clock. Hopping off the stool she was perched on, she Disapparated to the alley beside the hospital. Luckily no one was within sight, relieving her of the need for damage control. She retraced their path from the previous night, and stepped onto the third floor expecting to find busy nurses and perhaps a food cart rolling around with breakfast. Instead, she was confronted with two very angry men a few yards down the hallway.
“If you touch her or try to pour those vile poisons down her throat, I will -”
“What? What? Kill her? That’s what you’re doing right now!” Snape’s back was to her and his arms were stiff, fists clenched at his sides. “I healed her! I can do it again!”
Hermione strained to see over her former Professor’s shoulder. An older man with a face just as harsh was standing there, fury exuding from his very pores. “Take your delusions and your wickedness elsewhere, Severus. You aren’t wanted here.”
“She’s going to die!”
“If that is her fate, then so be it. I will not have you interfere with this evil you try to masquerade as magic. I am saving her soul!”
“You’re killing her and I -” Snape broke off as the older man glanced past him, noticing Hermione. Looking over his shoulder, Snape saw her as well. His eyes cooled from fury to weariness. “Miss Granger, please leave,” he said, nodding at the elevator behind her.
“Is she one of them too, Severus? Have you no decency? You brought them into this hospital, and you expect me to stand for it?” The older man took two steps around Snape and advanced on her.
Snape turned and grabbed his arm roughly. “If you touch her, I’ll -”
“You’ll what? Kill me? Work your devilish wizardry on your own father?”
With a sound of complete disgust, Snape released the man’s arm and took several long strides to where Hermione stood. He snatched her arm and pulled her back into the elevator. “Professor?” she said after the doors closed.
Snape slumped against the wall and slid down to the floor. He shook his head at her, refusing to give any further details about what had happened. His face was pale, and his eyes were bloodshot and dull; he looked as bad as he had before his mother had been revived. “Tell me what’s wrong,” Hermione said softly, kneeling before him and pushing his hair out of his face. When he didn’t respond, she stroked his face with a trembling hand. “Severus, please.”
Her use of his given name startled him enough to evoke a response. “You shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what? Tell me what has happened.”
He shook his head again and turned his face away from her gentle fingertips. The elevator was moving, and Hermione knew it was only a matter of seconds before the doors opened and someone else joined them. She did the only thing she could think of - she leant forward and wrapped her arms around him tightly, Disapparating them both before the metal doors parted.
They reappeared in the floor of her living room. Crookshanks let out a startled meow and stalked out of the room. The morning sun filtered through the sheer curtains and cast a sick, yellow glow on Snape’s pallid skin. His face was contorted in helplessness and pain, his eyes empty of life. “Please, tell me what happened. Please.” Hermione waited with bated breath as his thin lips parted.
“I can’t go through this again,” he whispered in a rough, heartbroken voice.
“Go through what? What has happened?”
He shook his head and turned away from her. “Cancer. They’ve discovered an inoperable tumor in her brain. The doctors say that even though she is out of the coma, they doubt she will live for more than a few months.”
“The man arguing with you was your father?” Hermione asked, moving to kneel in front of him.
Snape nodded, his hair falling forward to curtain his face. “I don’t want her to die, but he’s forbidden me to do anything, and the legal rights are his.” He paused and sighed deeply. “I’m not even sure I could do anything to help her now, and even if I could, she won’t come with me. She says she must stay with my father.”
Hermione didn’t know what to say. He had only gotten his mother back hours before, and now she was being taken away from him again. After witnessing his sleepless nights and the aftermath of his guilt over hurting her, she could only imagine what kind of havoc this new development was causing in his mind. “I’m sorry, Professor,” she said softly, watching his downcast eyes.
He shook his head and waved her apology away with a hand. “There is no need for you to apologize.”
Shifting closer to him, she placed one of her hands on top of his. “I wish I could help. Is there anything I can do?”
“No,” he replied, closing his eyes. His lashes cast dainty shadows across the skin below his eyes, and Hermione couldn’t stop herself from raising her hand to touch his face. To her surprise, Snape covered her hand with his and pressed his cheek more firmly into her palm. Her breath hitched when he turned his head to slide his warm lips over the heel of her hand. Small puffs of his breath tickled her palm and wrist.
His acceptance of her touch made her bold. She settled on the floor beside Snape, wrapping her arms around him and pulling his head down to rest on her chest. He put up little resistance and nuzzled his head against her breasts. Hermione held him there with her fingers twined in his hair, gently massaging his scalp.
“You smell very good.” His voice was startlingly close, but she tried to calm her nerves and make him comfortable. “No one has been this close to me in a very long time,” he said.
Hermione smiled and bent to kiss the crown of his head. She opened her mouth to speak, but his movements made the words die on her lips. He positioned his mouth at her shoulder and slowly worked his way up to the sensitive spot where it curved up into her neck. His hot breath on her skin nearly threw her into a panic. In the last week she had entertained this fantasy once or twice, but the real thing was quite different. Fantasies were just that: fantasies; they would never happen, and there were never any true repercussions for indulging in them. His lips brushing over her pulse point drove home the fact that this was a very real situation.
Snape pressed hesitant kisses on her neck, his nose nuzzling the tender flesh there. As much as his actions scared Hermione, they also excited her. The fantasies she had indulged in about him were coming true, and she was unsure if she should stop him or if she should urge him on further. Her body was obviously on board for the latter course of action because her fingers were pressed against the back of his head, pulling him closer, and her chest was rising and falling swiftly and irregularly.
His warm breath fell on her ear just before the tip of his tongue traced her lobe. “I’m sorry, Hermione… so sorry,” he whispered in a breathless voice.
“Why?” she managed to choke out.
He placed small kisses along her jaw line before he answered. “I shouldn’t take advantage of you like this.”
Before she could respond, he covered her lips with his own and kissed her. The move startled her momentarily, but she regained herself and returned the simple kiss. When his lips moved down to her neck again, she was able to speak. “You’re not taking advantage of me, Professor.”
“Severus,” he reminded her between kisses on her throat.
“Severus,” Hermione repeated. “I feel as if I’m taking advantage of you after all you’ve been through in the last few hours.” She found it extremely difficult to talk with his mouth on her neck, but she got her point across in a trembling voice. He was only here on the floor of her flat because he was so distraught over his mother. The Severus Snape she knew wouldn’t have kissed her or even touched her in such a way. His emotions were running high, and he was looking for comfort in any way he could find it.
He lifted his head and let his lips hover over hers. “I assure you, you are not taking advantage of me, Hermione.” Sliding one of his hands over her waist, he moved the other to cup her right breast.
She couldn’t take the teasing any longer and closed the small distance between their lips, kissing him. Though she initiated the kiss, he deepened it by parting his lips and tentatively pressing his tongue between them. She moaned and opened her mouth for him. The small sound of approval from Hermione seemed to add fuel to his fire. Snape moved a hand from her waist to the back of her neck. She felt his tongue trace the contours of her mouth, running along her teeth before it tangled with her own tongue.
The kiss was slow and leisurely, though an underlying urgency laced his movements. His hands roamed restlessly over her, she lost track of where they had been and what he had touched. All she knew was that he had thoroughly mapped her curves with his fingertips by the time they both pulled away for a breath. She watched him in wonder. Snape’s face was flushed with healthy color, and his lips were glistening and slightly parted to allow strong breaths of air to be pushed out. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he watched her.
For a fleeting moment, Hermione considered stopping the encounter at the kiss, but she knew if she did he would never give her this chance again, nor would she ever see this side of him again. He would lock away any feelings or attraction he might have for her and, most likely, treat her like a student again. It was the last thing she wanted. She actually wanted him to continue to look at her the way he was at that moment, his eyes gleaming in the morning sun coming in through the window.
Hermione ran her hands up his chest and over his shoulders. She twirled strands of his hair around her fingers. “Shall we go to my bedroom?” she asked in a small, hesitant voice.
“Please,” he replied, his eyes never leaving her face.
She extracted herself from his arms, still wrapped firmly around her, and stood on shaky legs. Snape took her extended hand and stood as well. She expected a moment of awkwardness as they walked across the flat to her bedroom, but Snape had other things in mind. His arms went around her waist again, and he stepped into her body as he dipped his head down to kiss her again.
Hermione threw her arms around his neck and allowed him to back her into the bedroom. She fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, but her shaking hands, divided attention, and lack of sight made it extremely difficult. Once they were standing in the middle of her bedroom floor, he took pity on her, placing gentle hands over hers and undoing the buttons himself. She was much more suited to the less delicate task of jerking the shirt out of his pants so he could shrug out of it. His bare chest was warm and mostly smooth beneath her fingertips.
“You wore your robes into the hospital,” he whispered, trailing his fingers over the sleeves. Hermione had not even thought of the odd looks from the Muggles when she burst into the hospital in her blue robes. “I’ve been wondering what you always wear under these robes when you work with me.”
“You’ve thought about that?” Hermione asked, looking up to meet his gaze.
Snape’s fingers quickly unfastened the robes and pushed them off her shoulders. “Lately, yes.” He took in her t-shirt and jeans. “I should have guessed you would be wearing these silly Muggle clothes.”
“You… don’t like them?” Her voice was soft and unsure.
He smiled and slipped both his hands beneath her shirt. She felt his slightly cool fingers moving up her sides. “Oh, no, I like them very much. They’re quite easy to dispose of.” With that said, he pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it on the floor. When his eyes returned to look at her bra, Hermione wanted to cross her arms over her chest. Before she could make the self-conscious gesture, he was on her again, his arms wrapped around her tightly. He guided her over to the bed, and he followed her down onto the mattress when she had no choice but to fall back on it. Suddenly his body was pressed full length against hers, and she was unsure where to put her hands. She settled for grasping his shoulders when he began kissing her exposed neck and chest again.
She vaguely felt a tugging sensation around her navel, but his body was blocking her view. All she could see was a mass of black hair over her breasts. It wasn’t until the cool air of the bedroom hit her hips that she realized what he had done. Her jeans and panties were at her knees, and Snape continued to guide them down her calves until he encountered her shoes. Within seconds, he had pulled both the shoes and the clothes from her body. He kneeled before her on the bed and unfastened his slacks. Try as she might, Hermione couldn’t look away as the pants fell to his knees. Their kissing and touching had obviously had an effect on him, if his straining erection was any indication. Though she had never been extremely forward in bed, Hermione wriggled her body and spread her legs wider in a silent invitation.
Snape rid himself of his slacks and settled between her thighs, his hands wriggling their way beneath her to unhook the bra. It was soon thrown on the floor with her other pieces of clothing. She was completely naked in bed with Professor Snape. Hermione mentally shook her head. Severus. I am naked in bed with Severus Snape, and I desperately want him to make love to me. He answered her wish with a kiss and a swift thrust into her depths. The sudden sensation of being filled tore a sharp gasp from her throat and curled her toes into the sheets.
As he began to move within her, he trailed his kisses down to her neck and latched his lips onto the most sensitive spot there, alternately sucking and laving it with his tongue. It was too much for her. She never thought they would be moving together, pressing their hips frantically into each other like this. His teeth grazed ever so slightly against her neck. Each of his strokes pierced through her and coiled the tension in her even tighter. “Don’t stop,” she said through labored breaths.
He heard her plea and increased his rhythm, pushing even deeper into her until she thought her head might hit the wooden headboard behind her. Hermione couldn’t stand it any longer. Her release was so close, but she couldn’t seem to catch it. Snaking a hand down her abdomen, she brushed two fingers over the slick nub protruding from her folds. He slammed into her just as she climaxed, her contracting walls ripping a low groan from him. A moment later his body tensed, and he buried his face in her neck. She felt him tremble before the eventual warmth as he released himself within her. Hermione ran her hands over his back, soothing his exhausted body and attempting to show his wounded mind some sense of support and affection.
“Thank you, Hermione,” Snape whispered in her ear.
“You should get some sleep, Professor.”
“Severus,” he said, correcting her again. “Please call me Severus.” She watched as he slowly closed his eyes and his breathing evened out. Hermione wasn’t feeling all that tired after what she had just done with Snape, so she lay beside him in bed, watching him fall asleep. The lines eventually disappeared from his face as he settled into rest. She followed him into sleep not long after, even though she didn’t think she was all that tired.
INDEX: Chapters 1 & 2 || Chapters 3 & 4 || Chapters 5 & 6 || Chapters 7 & 8 || Chapters 9 & 10 || Chapters 11 & 12 || Chapters 13 & 14 || Chapter 15