(no subject)
The most interesting thing about the whole telling your good friend that you like them as more than a friend thing is being able to see it from both perspectives.
I realize that it can be weird, uncomfortable, a little scary, and flattering all at the same time, depending on when in your friendship you say it, how good of friends you are, and how much you do (or don't) say. However--I do believe that the situation is only as weird as you make it out to be.
It's scary to think that someone feels as strongly as they do about you, especially when they barely even know you. No matter what I do, I know that I can't shake how he feels about me, as much as I want to. It makes me realize that you can't control who you fall in love (or like) with, or when. Also, you can't make yourself love someone. Timing is everything when it comes to love, and more often than not, it tends to be off.
What's also interesting to me is how differently I act around different people. I have amazing chemistry with certain people, but it doesn't always mean that I'm attracted to them; it's just great friendship chemistry. Likewise, I've been attracted to certain people's personalities but have not been physically attracted to them. It all depends. Certain people tend to fall for me based on who I am around them. If they saw me interacting with another person, they may not feel the same way. The chemistry 2 people have is usually unique. It just makes me wonder: how do you know whether or not you like someone as just a friend, or maybe more? You can seem so sure of yourself at times.....but then, 6 months later, say to yourself, what the hell was I thinking? I wonder how people 'know' when they want to marry someone. I ask my parents that and they seem perplexed by my question. A lot of it has to do with having in common several different values and qualities. But then....what about that whole attraction thing? And then you have to figure in chemistry....People probably wonder why I'm so obsessed with the 'chemistry' thing. Maybe other people are, too, but they just don't talk about it.
I see certain couples, married or not, and I wonder what made them choose each other. did one pursue the other, by serenading with blaring music out of an old school boombox, à la Say Anything? did they get set up on a blind date, like dave navarro and carmen elektra? Or....was it just convenience and lack of options? My friend is dating someone right now, and she really likes him, but she questions how strong her feelings really are, because he's the only guy she's gotten to know this summer. It's not like there are tons of guys she has to choose from. That's why, in theory, the Bachelor can be a good idea. I don't believe in 'the one'; I believe that there is more than one person out there who is compatible for you, especially when it comes to marriage, because we all know it takes a lot more than love to sustain a marriage.
[But--at the same time, the more you date, and the more you know yourself, the more you know what you want in another person, and what you don't want...so you may not need a lot of options. I think this is how I am.]
My other friend constantly questions if she 'loves' her boyfriend. He is quite possibly perfect for her: he puts up with her, but at the same time, doesn't let her get away with everything, and they have a really good relationship. Sometimes, though, I tell her that she takes him for granted...she's always wondering if there's someone 'better' out there for her. I'm like, how much better do you want him to be? If you don't want him, I'll take him! (not really at all, but you know what I mean). It's just that...I know for a fact that there is someone else out there that could be compatible with her, and with him. But they just happened to get together at the right time.
Sooo where am I going with this? good question. I'm already aware that I've 'used' too many 'quotation marks'...sorry. haha. If I keep using them, they're going to lose their effectiveness. Anyway....
To come back to the whole platonic vs. romantic relationships....It's put a lot of things into perspective. For once, I can see how girls scare guys away with their feelings...and I'm sure guys do that, too. I can see how people can come on too strongly, and sometimes don't know how to take a hint. And, sadly...very sadly...I've realized that I can tell when people like me as more than a friend....and when they don't. I know now not to push anything, as much as I'd like to. But you can't. It just doesn't work that way.
I realize that it can be weird, uncomfortable, a little scary, and flattering all at the same time, depending on when in your friendship you say it, how good of friends you are, and how much you do (or don't) say. However--I do believe that the situation is only as weird as you make it out to be.
It's scary to think that someone feels as strongly as they do about you, especially when they barely even know you. No matter what I do, I know that I can't shake how he feels about me, as much as I want to. It makes me realize that you can't control who you fall in love (or like) with, or when. Also, you can't make yourself love someone. Timing is everything when it comes to love, and more often than not, it tends to be off.
What's also interesting to me is how differently I act around different people. I have amazing chemistry with certain people, but it doesn't always mean that I'm attracted to them; it's just great friendship chemistry. Likewise, I've been attracted to certain people's personalities but have not been physically attracted to them. It all depends. Certain people tend to fall for me based on who I am around them. If they saw me interacting with another person, they may not feel the same way. The chemistry 2 people have is usually unique. It just makes me wonder: how do you know whether or not you like someone as just a friend, or maybe more? You can seem so sure of yourself at times.....but then, 6 months later, say to yourself, what the hell was I thinking? I wonder how people 'know' when they want to marry someone. I ask my parents that and they seem perplexed by my question. A lot of it has to do with having in common several different values and qualities. But then....what about that whole attraction thing? And then you have to figure in chemistry....People probably wonder why I'm so obsessed with the 'chemistry' thing. Maybe other people are, too, but they just don't talk about it.
I see certain couples, married or not, and I wonder what made them choose each other. did one pursue the other, by serenading with blaring music out of an old school boombox, à la Say Anything? did they get set up on a blind date, like dave navarro and carmen elektra? Or....was it just convenience and lack of options? My friend is dating someone right now, and she really likes him, but she questions how strong her feelings really are, because he's the only guy she's gotten to know this summer. It's not like there are tons of guys she has to choose from. That's why, in theory, the Bachelor can be a good idea. I don't believe in 'the one'; I believe that there is more than one person out there who is compatible for you, especially when it comes to marriage, because we all know it takes a lot more than love to sustain a marriage.
[But--at the same time, the more you date, and the more you know yourself, the more you know what you want in another person, and what you don't want...so you may not need a lot of options. I think this is how I am.]
My other friend constantly questions if she 'loves' her boyfriend. He is quite possibly perfect for her: he puts up with her, but at the same time, doesn't let her get away with everything, and they have a really good relationship. Sometimes, though, I tell her that she takes him for granted...she's always wondering if there's someone 'better' out there for her. I'm like, how much better do you want him to be? If you don't want him, I'll take him! (not really at all, but you know what I mean). It's just that...I know for a fact that there is someone else out there that could be compatible with her, and with him. But they just happened to get together at the right time.
Sooo where am I going with this? good question. I'm already aware that I've 'used' too many 'quotation marks'...sorry. haha. If I keep using them, they're going to lose their effectiveness. Anyway....
To come back to the whole platonic vs. romantic relationships....It's put a lot of things into perspective. For once, I can see how girls scare guys away with their feelings...and I'm sure guys do that, too. I can see how people can come on too strongly, and sometimes don't know how to take a hint. And, sadly...very sadly...I've realized that I can tell when people like me as more than a friend....and when they don't. I know now not to push anything, as much as I'd like to. But you can't. It just doesn't work that way.