(FIC) Grief - 5/6
Title: “Grief”
Fandom: Castle
Characters/pairings: Ryan/Jenny, Ryan/Esposito, Beckett, Castle
Word count: 829 words this chapter; 5,541 words total
Spoilers: Minor spoilers through “Mistress” (2x16).
Occasion: Fill for a prompt at castlekink . Sorry it took so long =[[
Disclaimer: Some angsty stuff… far more than I had intended to put in, anyway. Despite it being for castlekink , there’s no actual kink in it. Oops.
Rating: PG-13 for language and alcohol consumption
Summary: The five stages of grief aren’t just for people who are dying.
( Denial ) ( Anger ) ( Bargaining ) ( Depression ) ( ACCEPTANCE ) ... ( Death )
Acceptance.
Weeks passed. The storm cloud lifted, though his sky was still a murky, oppressive gray.
A sharp buzzing shattered the silence. Esposito snorted and raised his heavy head from the pillow. He checked the time, for the record; 12:30 - another midnight case. He would have to bitch to Ryan about his sleep-deprivation when he got onto the crime scene.
“Esposito,” he answered, his voice gravelly.
“SHE SAID YES!” The voice blaring from the other end of the phone line sent a sharp pain through his ear and he winced, nearly dropping the phone. It took him a few seconds to register that the screamer on the other end wasn’t Beckett, like he thought. So there was no midnight case - then why had someone called him on his work number at this time of night? Other than Beckett, the only people who would even think of calling him that late were his mother and-
“Ryan?”
“She said yes, man. She really did! I can’t believe it, she said YE-“
“RYAN,” he repeated, feeling his nerves fraying. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Jenny,” Ryan said as though repeating the obvious. “I took her out to dinner, candlelit and everything, and then we went for a walk in Central Park, stopped over by the Bethesda fountain, you know that’s her favorite one. And then I asked her, Espo. I popped the question. Down on one knee and everything.”
Esposito’s mind reeled as he fought sleep and the growing emotion building in his chest. “You asked her…to marry-“
“And she said YES!” Ryan’s excitement was nearly palpable just from the sound of his voice. It fell on deaf ears, though; Esposito’s mouth hung open as he stared into the darkness, fingers unconsciously relaxing almost to the point of dropping the phone. He knew he should say something, anything, to let Ryan know he was listening, that he understood, that he was glad…but the words just didn’t come.
Ryan was speaking, but Esposito couldn’t make out what he said. He was sure that he should understand, but the shock of what he had just heard numbed his brain so that the words just bounced right off, nothing sinking in., Ryan might as well have been speaking another language.
“Espo?” he heard Ryan say tentatively. He forced his mouth to form words again.
“Wow,” he said, noting the dumbstruck waver in his voice. “Ryan, that’s…that’s big.” It dimly registered how idiotic he sounded, so he put more effort into his words. “So you’re getting married.”
“Yeah,” Ryan replied hesitantly. “Is…is that okay?”
“Of course, yeah, sure, why wouldn’t it be okay?” Esposito replied quickly, a note of hysteria lacing his voice. He cleared his throat nervously. “I just didn’t know about it. I mean, I knew you were going to ask, but it just…I wasn’t expecting it, that’s all. But…I’m happy for you. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I just…” Ryan seemed momentarily lost for words. “You didn’t say anything, so I thought…I mean, you liked her, didn’t you? When you met her?”
“Yeah,” Esposito said. “She’s a nice girl. I’m sure you two will be really happy together.”
If Ryan noticed the way Esposito’s voice cracked on the word ‘happy,’ he didn’t mention it.
From across the phone line, Esposito heard soft chuckling. “I’m glad, I’m glad you’re -we’re-okay.” Ryan paused. “And…there’s something else.”
“What’s up?” Esposito asked, grabbing the possible subject change with both hands.
“I wanted to know if you…well, if you would be my best man.”
He felt his heart catch in his throat, and he struggled to swallow it. The hard truth had finally set in, and he fought the instincts to scream, fight, or hang up. But even through his pain, even if Ryan was getting married, marrying a woman, marrying that woman, he was still his best friend. They’d been through everything together, and it was certainly no time for that to change.
“Of course,” Esposito said softly. “I’d be…honored.”
“Thank you,” Ryan said, sounding relieved. “Really, it means a ton to me. Honestly, I’m scared out of my mind.” Esposito’s brows furrowed, even though he knew Ryan couldn’t see his expression.
“Scared?” he prompted. Ryan let out a nervous chuckle.
“I have no idea what the hell I’m supposed to do,” he confessed, lowering his voice as though afraid that someone on his end might overhear. “I’ve never done this whole ‘marriage’ thing before, and I want to get everything perfect. She deserves the best.”
“Yeah, she does,” Esposito agreed robotically, his throat tight.
“I need you with me. I need you at my back. I’ve always had you around, and this time I’m really gonna lean on you, more than ever.”
“I know, bro,” Esposito replied. “Anything you need, I’m here. I’ve got you.” Little though he liked the situation, he knew it was true. He would be there, supporting Ryan, no matter what. After all, that’s what partners were for.