i think about you night and day, i gotta get away
wow, that last entry was pathetic. how sad to have written that, but that was apparently how i was feeling at the time. i still can see where i felt that, it is just bothersome not knowing what is going on. but now i do, i heard it from a friend of his... heh. great way to find out things are over, but it eased my mind. i had a pretty good night. the day sucked, but the night was alright.
i went to poker, putting the dreadful feeling aside. i feared he would have talked shit or something and they all would hate me. but i knew, logically, that he doesnt talk about me, good or bad, very often, and even so, i went to poker way before things happened between us, and i hadnt been asked not to come back. so i went and he wasnt there, and everyone seemed glad to have me, so it worked out. i didnt do so hot, i lost the first tournament, then came in third (getting my buy-in back) in the next two. he showed up during the second, sat by me, we talked civially, it was all good. beginning of phase two: retain friendship, completed. but only the beginning. we'll see what happens.
but anyway, i had a good night. hung out with scott after poker. went to waffle house and bitched about past relationships. it was kinda fun. i have taken a strong dislike to bitching about things, but its still fun every once in awhile. and it took a lot off my mind. scott is a really cool guy. and he is prolly reading this now, heh, so hi scott!!
it boggles my mind how many people in town have these damned journals. it boggles my mind that anyone of them actually have the free time to sit around and read EVERY ONE from norman. do people do that to start shit? it scares me almost that anyone would have enough interest in my goings on to sit at a computer and look it up. it has to only be to get dirt to piss people off. but hey, to each his own. i dont work up lj shit, i just write my happenings. it makes me feel better to write it down. it is still kinda scary that anything i write in here is open to everyone i know though, because somebody is inevitably gonna read it that knows someone that knows someone that it is about. but i guess that is norman for ya, and i dont have many friends here anymore anyway. i dunno, i realize this is a bitchy paragraph. and im sorry. norman is just too small of a fucking town. and the things that sparked this section were way long ago, they just gave me a realization is all. DISREGARD THIS SECTION!!
so yeah. i got a close at work, way exciting. i havent EVER been scheduled for a close, although i have closed a few times before. im excited cause you make lots of money when you close. so wish me luck on not getting robbed wednesday night.
i think things are going well as of now. i think i am gonna be moving out shortly and then i will be free to sit on my ass at home by myself in front of the television and eat chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream out of the container with a big spoon. i cant wait for that. as far as relationships, i think i am done for awhile. my goal is to be single, completely free of commitment, for at least a year. and then by that time i will prolly be an old maid and too cynical to date anyone anyway. so maybe this is damming myself to a life of lonliness, but i plan to have a kick ass life of lonliness, being a police officer and kicking ass. (i already work in the third most dangerous job in the united states, i can only move up from there.) by the way, everyone should check out the website www.tipthepizzaguy.com it is pretty neat. sorry, my lack of html knowledge has lead to that not being a link. but its easy to remember.
so this is it for tonight. scott, good luck with your stuff. EVERYONE else is norman, goodnight.
i went to poker, putting the dreadful feeling aside. i feared he would have talked shit or something and they all would hate me. but i knew, logically, that he doesnt talk about me, good or bad, very often, and even so, i went to poker way before things happened between us, and i hadnt been asked not to come back. so i went and he wasnt there, and everyone seemed glad to have me, so it worked out. i didnt do so hot, i lost the first tournament, then came in third (getting my buy-in back) in the next two. he showed up during the second, sat by me, we talked civially, it was all good. beginning of phase two: retain friendship, completed. but only the beginning. we'll see what happens.
but anyway, i had a good night. hung out with scott after poker. went to waffle house and bitched about past relationships. it was kinda fun. i have taken a strong dislike to bitching about things, but its still fun every once in awhile. and it took a lot off my mind. scott is a really cool guy. and he is prolly reading this now, heh, so hi scott!!
it boggles my mind how many people in town have these damned journals. it boggles my mind that anyone of them actually have the free time to sit around and read EVERY ONE from norman. do people do that to start shit? it scares me almost that anyone would have enough interest in my goings on to sit at a computer and look it up. it has to only be to get dirt to piss people off. but hey, to each his own. i dont work up lj shit, i just write my happenings. it makes me feel better to write it down. it is still kinda scary that anything i write in here is open to everyone i know though, because somebody is inevitably gonna read it that knows someone that knows someone that it is about. but i guess that is norman for ya, and i dont have many friends here anymore anyway. i dunno, i realize this is a bitchy paragraph. and im sorry. norman is just too small of a fucking town. and the things that sparked this section were way long ago, they just gave me a realization is all. DISREGARD THIS SECTION!!
so yeah. i got a close at work, way exciting. i havent EVER been scheduled for a close, although i have closed a few times before. im excited cause you make lots of money when you close. so wish me luck on not getting robbed wednesday night.
i think things are going well as of now. i think i am gonna be moving out shortly and then i will be free to sit on my ass at home by myself in front of the television and eat chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream out of the container with a big spoon. i cant wait for that. as far as relationships, i think i am done for awhile. my goal is to be single, completely free of commitment, for at least a year. and then by that time i will prolly be an old maid and too cynical to date anyone anyway. so maybe this is damming myself to a life of lonliness, but i plan to have a kick ass life of lonliness, being a police officer and kicking ass. (i already work in the third most dangerous job in the united states, i can only move up from there.) by the way, everyone should check out the website www.tipthepizzaguy.com it is pretty neat. sorry, my lack of html knowledge has lead to that not being a link. but its easy to remember.
so this is it for tonight. scott, good luck with your stuff. EVERYONE else is norman, goodnight.