first in a while

[evlcapjcksparow]

i decided to update with everything since may

- passed 11th grade and am now a Sr
- moved out of my parents house
- i live with friends
- i went to mexico and had a blast
- i've had many relationships throughout the summer but failed in a very very important one
- i go to school everyday
-im contemplating the marines
- im going crazy again and get hit with insane depression constantly
- at this exact point i havent slept for 3 days and i dont know why
- i must say again that im losing my mind
- im pushing people away again
- im actually scared for once and i have no idea what im afraid of
- i draw constantly
- i bake alot of cakes
- i smoke far far too much, but in some way it brings me solace
- im an alcoholic
- i've stopped seeing my shrink
- i think about suicide alot again
- i want out of here
- i want away from this place
- i need to change myself for the better
- if i dont, im afraid of what may happen
- im contemplating living with my father
- i've made some awsome new friends that i consider family
- they look out for me
- i hardly have any friends my own age, theyre all older
- idk what else there is to say