its my b-day
ok to the postee of the anon comment.. dan is way too damn smart and great to let himself fail god damn it. and i am really fucking sorry ppl are taling about him.. i know ther b/c they report back to me like i give a fuck.. i hear i am a slut and easy and that he says he could fuck me any time he wants.. ppl tell me talks about me all the time... and you know what i say to that? i nkow its bullshit b/c i love him.. i know hes lied to me hurt me and kept shit from but regraddless of that i love him and i don't want ppl hating him so i spend all my fucking time defending him. b/c i LOVE HIM! and how can you say he loves me... you don't hurt ppl you love.. not like this... i worry every day i get so mad when ppl talk shit about him.. i cry myself to sleep everynight knwing all of this is my damn fault i hate myself for it.. i WANT TO MAKE IT BETTER! and of cousre i don't know what he going thur he does't talk to me.. he never really has so why i expect it now i don't fucking know. honestly i would die for him.. if i knew me killing self would make this all btter i would.. just for him to be happy b/c that is all i want. i am in love wiht him// ok? good god.. this is killing me.... maybe all i have to do is leave him alone and as much as i would hate that i will do it.. and i will stop talking hs family and i will move you england with my friend who envited me. you think its easy for me knowing i was a horrible girlfriend for him? knowing i failed b/c i couldn't make him happy? i thnk about it everyday. i am to blame for his unhappiness. so.. just forget it.. i love him so much...but i think he fell outta love with me... i dunno why when or how.. but he did.. and its my fault. so i will go now and try to enjoy my b-day... and btw.. if you most anon in my lj leave a name or don't comment..