how you know when it's time to call it quits
i have worked for starbucks for two years. i've loved it for those two years. i worked my ass off to become a supervisor and like having that responsibility. however..i have been thinking about quitting for some time now because the bullshit my manager uses to keep people there is really irritating. starbucks is a cult. you give up everything else in your life to move up in a company that'll hire people from other company's to fill the higher positions. how does one move up? over the course of ten years. i get bored easily. once i know how to do something, i move on to the next thing. it's just in my nature. i found myself standing in my refurbished store wanting to just walk out the door and not look back. but when it actually comes down to doing that, i fear that i'll come crawling back to it because my new job left me worse off than i am now. i feel stuck in a catch 22. i've fallen down the rabbit hole and the mad hatter is drinking lattes. i don't want to work in the service industry my whole life. i want to see things and do something interesting with my life. i feel soooooooooo stuck right now. like things should be moving alond faster than they are. i'm almost 20 and i feel like i'm wasting my life. i have soo mauch time! does anyone else think this way?? i failed my driving test and i'm burned out at work and i want to go to school again but don't have the time (???) yet i have plenty of time to drink my life away..i think i have a problem. i enjoy being numb and forgetting life's problems. i like to just laugh and be stupid. and i do it all.the.time. is that like a normal rebel child thing? a depressed and need help thing? i've always indulged myself with either food or alcohol or whatever..is it my outlet for the strong facade i put up? i don't have the answers to these questions in my head and i'm afriad to ask them. i feel like i'm crazy, or really different than the ones around me. i never feel a part of anything. i used to, but it fell apart. ..in the end no one is totally with you. i...i want to quit my job. but i kinda wanna quit this life too. not death..i don't want to end it...but i wish mine hadn't turned out so shitty sometimes.