evilis

[one_of_the_kind]

In which moment do you know your life has turned out to be weird? When exactly are that moment when you sit down and this ‘shit, this is so off!’? For me? It’s about the time when I found out my sister was a vampire slayer. Oh, yeah, and the fact that vampires are real. And so is demon. And magic is much more than bad horror movies. And then you

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[buffys_bitch]

I stalk into the Summer's house, not caring when the door slams.

"Dawn! Willow was supposed to change the buffybot. It's still bloody well coming on to me. She promised me she would do it!!"

I go straight for the kitchen, and open the fridge looking for either blood or a beer. I think the witches stock some light alcohol rubbish that tastes like piss, but then all american beer tastes like piss, so...

There's some pig's blood that looks past its expiration date but I decide to risk it. I pop it in a mug and decide to nuke it. Not sure for how long though. So I stand looking at the microwave trying to figure out which buttons to push. Don't want cooked blood.

[one_of_the_kind]

I frown as the door slams. How come Spike is the only one who ever slams door in this house? So, I walk downstairs in the kitchen and roll my eyes as Spike, for God knows what time again, tries to figure which button is for blood. Or milk. But I think blood is the one that is cooked there more.

"Well, you know, if you wouldn't have actually asked for that thing to be made to fulfill your sick fantasies, it wouldn't even be here now, not even mentioning coming on to you..."

[buffys_bitch]

"And we wouldn't have something that looks and talks like the slayer to fool the hordes of evil knocking on our doorstep either."

I still can't bring myself to say her name too often. Still hurts to. I turn to look at Dawn and hold up the mug, hoping she'll show me which buttons again. Can never remember.

"We need the bot, Dawn. Much as I hate having to be around her- it. Once the ugly beasties cotton on to the fact that the hellmouth's protector is...dead. Then we'll be knee deep in blood and viscera. The carnage won't be pretty. And do you think that this band of buggered is going to make a difference? Think again."

I don't know what's got into me tonight, but I'm worried. Worried for Dawn. I've been showing her some moves, trying to help her learn to defend herself, but still I know in my gut that the way things are going, it might not be enough. I made a promise...

[one_of_the_kind]

"Right, right, I know you're worried and I know you're right. I'll live with that. But as for you and the bot? Live with it. I'd say she'll get tired of you with time, but seeing her baking SO many pancakes I kinda doubt it."

I grin and take the mug from him. Eww! Blood! I push the mug in the microwave and push the milk button. Should work just fine. Turning back to Spike I offer him a smile.

"So, is complaining about bot the only reason you're here? Or is your TV broken again?" Which I'm guessing it is...

[buffys_bitch]

"No, Miss Know-it-all, I came over to check on you as well. Heard Willow and Tara were gonna be out, and that you might want some company. That, and yeah the TV is playing up." I confess and give her a sheepish grin. Canny little minx.

The microwave dings and I retrieve my mug of nicely lukewarm blood.

"Got any weetabix? This blood's a bit stale." I query after taking a sip and grimacing.

[one_of_the_kind]

I chuckle. "Well, thank you for coming over anyway, I was getting kinda bored as no one is here. I wonder where Tara and Willow went..." They didn't say and didn't ask me to come with them, that of course is no surprise, because I'm the kid...

"And can I just say 'ewww'? Don't ask me things about or for blood. It's 'ewww'!" I shake my head and walk out from the kitchen. Blood does a great deal in ruining my appetite. Wonder why, huh?

"Anyway, how about we go out tonight? I dunno, pizza, movies, something? I mean, I'm 16 years old, I want to go out! But all I ever get is spending time here." I sigh and then smile to Spike. "Not that I'm saying the company is bad, but... you know... I want to go out from this house now and then, too..."

[buffys_bitch]

"I don't know Dawn. I was meant to mind you, not take you traipsing across town late at night. What would Giles and the others say? Hell, they'd probably stake me on the spot if anything happened to you. I know you are going stir crazy and all, but it's a school night innit. You've homework and stuff right? Don't you?"

Somehow I have a feeling I'm fighting a losing battle, the way Dawn's glaring at me with her crossed arms in that stubborn way that all Summer's women seem to have perfected.

[one_of_the_kind]

I cross my arms and glare at him. This is unfair! I want to go out and we damn well will! I've been spending too much time in this house anyway. I deserve at least one night out of here. It's not like I'm asking to move in with Spike. It's not like I would even want to live with Spike, I mean, he lives in a crypt, who in their right ming would want to live in a crypt... Oh, right, Spike does...

"A movie. It won't be more than two hours. Come on, Spike! A little fun out of this house. I just... I can't stand being here all the time. It's school and here, sometimes Magic Box, I don't get to do anything else." I'm sure that if I will press the right buttons he will take me out. "This place is too much... full with Buffy." Ha! Knew that will work. Yes, I'm bad and evil, but I had a great teacher...

[buffys_bitch]

"Full of- What do you mean?" I instantly go on guard. She know's this is a touchy subject for me. I don't like to talk about...Buffy. Leaves me with a pain in my chest that takes days to go away again, even drinking doesn't ease the dull ache of it.

[one_of_the_kind]

I sigh, so yes, it was a bad idea to bring Buffy up in this, but I didn't lie, the house is full with Buffy. Doesn't he feel it? I thought he would be the who does feel it...

"Can't you feel it? She's here. The very essence of her is here. In the walls, in the rooms. Everywhere." It is. I know she's dead and I know she's not here, but all house is full of memories of her. And it hurts and feels good in the same time.

[buffys_bitch]

"Yeah, I feel it. I feel her. She's still in here too. And here." I indicate my heart and my gut. " carry her around with me, Dawn, even when I don't want to. Can't cut or claw her out of me, even if I tried. Wouldn't want to, either. Would you?" I stand by the door, running my hand along the frame, trying to pull myself together. Why do I always unravel when I talk about her. A photo on the fridge catches my eye. Buffy, Joyce and Dawn. Smiling together. I turn away from it, and face Dawn, not quite able to meet her eyes though.

"Yeah, why not. Let's go out for a bit. Get some air, will do us both some good."

[one_of_the_kind]

I smile. We're going out! Yeah, I do feel bad about bringing Buffy into this, I know it pains to Spike, but it does to me too. She was my sister. My only family after I lost mom. It's hard. I suppose Spike is the one who understands the best, he loved Buffy. I know it, he knows it and I'm pretty sure even the Scoobies has accepted it.

"We'll have fun." I nod and pick up my jacket. "I need to get my cell phone and we're good to go." I say and then walk upstairs. I pass Buffy's room and shake my head. No one has went in to change anything. I wonder if we ever do. I suppose that none of us is able to live with the fact Buffy is gone. But we will need to live with it. And sooner or later I will clean that room out from Buffy's stuff. Though, I suppose it will be later than sooner...

[buffys_bitch]

I wait for her to get her things. How long does it take to grab a soddin' cellphone? I'm keen to get out of the place. Put some distance between me and the memories. Maybe I'll take Dawn to a movie after all. Sod it, anything is better than being couped up in here with nothing but pictures of her and regrets for company.

Not that Dawn isn't good company. Love her to bits. But the wounds are still too fresh, easily re-opened with a careless word or random glance.

Will she never stop haunting me?

[one_of_the_kind]

I take my cell and change the jacket, because this one really didn't suit the pants, but then the top didn't suit the jacket so I had to change top too. But now I'm all good and am walking downstairs to Spike.

"All ready to go now." I say and smile to him. "So, what could we do? Movie? Pizza?" I ask and open the door. We're going out! Yay! I want to go out! This will be fun!

[buffys_bitch]

"Sure, but I don't have any dosh. Got money to pay for it?" I shrug apologetically. Most of the time I stole or took what I wanted.

I lead her out the door. The night air is bracing and I feel like I can breathe again, well figuratively at least.

"Come on, pet. Let's go have a spot of fun, eh?"

[one_of_the_kind]

"Yeah, no worries, I got money on my credit card. Surprise, surprise, but dad actually sent me some. Suppose he feels guilty for not being here. Or you know, just making sure I never call him or go to visit..." Not that I'm planning to. That guy has done nothing to be called 'dad'.

"Fun sounds... fun. Yeah, I'm good." I grin and nearly jump from joy as we finally get out from the house. Spending time out is fun and so is spending time with Spike.