Rene Rosa's Rhyming Rhistmas Rant, Raggy!
Rene Rosa's Rhyming Rhistmas Rant, Raggy!
By Rene Rosa
Years ago some child was born,
and legends say he rocked.
Born, he was, of untouched skin,
His mother knew no cock.
A mutant like the X-Men kind,
with powers passed down from dad.
A book was written about this guy,
though I think we've all been had.
A carpenter that could heal and feed,
all with a mere thought and a touch,
If you believe that was Jesus, well,
thou doth protest too much.
A lame child here, or a blind man there,
all patched up good as new.
Who would have thought that superpowers
would make a hero out of this Jew.
Still I prefer the Incredible Hulk,
Green Lantern, Thor, and Spider-Man,
At least stories of them have visual proof,
Even if they came from drawing hands.
However, we do not celebrate the birth
of these awesome heroic creations.
Except with super-sized special issues,
all high-priced thanks to inflation.
Water to wine? How bout Super Strength?
Jesus could lift no mountain!
Put the Hulk up on a cross,
2 planks of wood would not contain him!
Some may say his strength was gospel,
Getting others to follow suit.
Marvel and DC have millions of readers,
so I'd say that point is moot.
Jesus may have died for sins
That he did not commit.
Why? I never asked him to!
I can take care of my own shit.
Let us think now of his dad,
No, not his "real father", I mean God.
He'd be the grandest absentee,
deadbeat, do nothing pop, that SOD!
His mother Mary, his girlfriend Mary,
because his writers ran out of names?
My mother Rosa, my girlfriend Rosa,
But I EXIST so it isn't the same!
Anyhow, I must digress,
as I stray far from being on topic.
The point is: Christmas is biased.
Super-hero racism makes me vomit.
Treat all myths equal,
So that good movies can be made.
Leave Mel Gibson out of it,
And I'm sure we'll all be saved.
We don't need religion to enjoy
a day full of food and gifts.
All we need are family, friends,
and maybe some sexual kicks.
Be good to those who are good to you,
And forget those who are bad.
Fuck you if you're judging me,
just because Jesus had no dad.
Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza,
Happy Chanukah to you too.
I'd celebrate all of them
if it means a gift from you!
By Rene Rosa
Years ago some child was born,
and legends say he rocked.
Born, he was, of untouched skin,
His mother knew no cock.
A mutant like the X-Men kind,
with powers passed down from dad.
A book was written about this guy,
though I think we've all been had.
A carpenter that could heal and feed,
all with a mere thought and a touch,
If you believe that was Jesus, well,
thou doth protest too much.
A lame child here, or a blind man there,
all patched up good as new.
Who would have thought that superpowers
would make a hero out of this Jew.
Still I prefer the Incredible Hulk,
Green Lantern, Thor, and Spider-Man,
At least stories of them have visual proof,
Even if they came from drawing hands.
However, we do not celebrate the birth
of these awesome heroic creations.
Except with super-sized special issues,
all high-priced thanks to inflation.
Water to wine? How bout Super Strength?
Jesus could lift no mountain!
Put the Hulk up on a cross,
2 planks of wood would not contain him!
Some may say his strength was gospel,
Getting others to follow suit.
Marvel and DC have millions of readers,
so I'd say that point is moot.
Jesus may have died for sins
That he did not commit.
Why? I never asked him to!
I can take care of my own shit.
Let us think now of his dad,
No, not his "real father", I mean God.
He'd be the grandest absentee,
deadbeat, do nothing pop, that SOD!
His mother Mary, his girlfriend Mary,
because his writers ran out of names?
My mother Rosa, my girlfriend Rosa,
But I EXIST so it isn't the same!
Anyhow, I must digress,
as I stray far from being on topic.
The point is: Christmas is biased.
Super-hero racism makes me vomit.
Treat all myths equal,
So that good movies can be made.
Leave Mel Gibson out of it,
And I'm sure we'll all be saved.
We don't need religion to enjoy
a day full of food and gifts.
All we need are family, friends,
and maybe some sexual kicks.
Be good to those who are good to you,
And forget those who are bad.
Fuck you if you're judging me,
just because Jesus had no dad.
Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza,
Happy Chanukah to you too.
I'd celebrate all of them
if it means a gift from you!