(no subject)
I am sad and lonely, and I don't know what the right thing to do is.
Following my heart and my instincts seems to be backfiring on me every step of the way, yet I do not want to be complacent about my life and my relationship.
I realized tonight that I have no real friends whom I can call up at any time of the night to say that I'm upset and I need someone to talk to. I am stuck in this apartment alone, and that doesn't really bother me. But it does bother me that I have nobody to reach out to other than the one person who seems to be pushed further away the more I reach out to him.
I take offense to the fact that I am here alone, though. He used to take me with him. Now he wants to go alone. It's not just partying anymore, it's spending time with his buddies. Many of whom didn't give him the time of day for months and couldn't care less about how he's really doing. I actually care and I am pushed away.
I'm trying so hard and it just seems to make everything around me crumble faster.
Following my heart and my instincts seems to be backfiring on me every step of the way, yet I do not want to be complacent about my life and my relationship.
I realized tonight that I have no real friends whom I can call up at any time of the night to say that I'm upset and I need someone to talk to. I am stuck in this apartment alone, and that doesn't really bother me. But it does bother me that I have nobody to reach out to other than the one person who seems to be pushed further away the more I reach out to him.
I take offense to the fact that I am here alone, though. He used to take me with him. Now he wants to go alone. It's not just partying anymore, it's spending time with his buddies. Many of whom didn't give him the time of day for months and couldn't care less about how he's really doing. I actually care and I am pushed away.
I'm trying so hard and it just seems to make everything around me crumble faster.