The owls are not what they seem.
As it's finally come out in the UK (which has had the first season for years, but nothing else) I bought the rather gorgeous Twin Peaks "definitive gold box edition" set, meaning that I'm finally able to see the 90s equivalent of Lost, something I've wanted to do for years. I mean, David Lynch doing a TV series? Who wouldn't want to watch that?
It's... well. Well. Blimey. It's as good as everyone says it is. It's also by turns funny, bizarre, weird and downright bloody terrifying at times. So basically my idea of television perfection. I adore this kind of bizarre and scary stuff. It's all I'd ever watch if I could. A horrifying, long-haired man screaming like a demon as he bludgeons a woman to death in a battered old train carriage? People bursting into song and dancing for absolutely no reason? A dwarf in a red room that speaks backwards with subtitles? Yes bloody please! Inject that shit straight into my eyeballs!
You could watch the series entirely for one Agent Dale Cooper, played by Kyle McLachlan as a mix of Sherlock Holmes and the Doctor. He's fabulously weird and cool and gets all the best lines and scenes. It's his appearance thirty minutes into the pilot that cements Twin Peaks' enduring status. No Cooper, no show.
David Lynch has also filled the cast with the most improbably gorgeous collection of women ever put to film. Usually I wouldn't comment on this, but it's so screamingly obvious how beautiful practically all the women are that it starts to get painful to watch, as if your eyes can only take so much feminine perfection. The downside of the series does unfortunately also lie in the women, with the majority of them being defined by the men they're shagging and it starts to get tedious. To be honest it's probably not as bad as I'm making out and there's a ton of other stuff going on to distract you. I think my criticism partly could be the contrast between the other female characters and Audrey Horne (played by the beyond stunning Sherilyn Fenn - seriously, look at her), who despite having a thing for Agent Cooper manages to be endlessly resourceful, clever, enigmatic and just pure awesome, inching out Cooper as my favourite character.
Twin Peaks also has the distinction of being the first ever high concept, high budget, big name cast-featuring, entirely serialised US TV series ever and paved the way for the American TV revolution that has since given us a ton of fantastic telly.
If you've ever thought, "I fancy watching Twin Peaks" I'd definitely encourage it. The only downside is you'll start seeing this man wherever you look, and that's not a good thing. You'll also start experiencing cravings for coffee, donuts and pie, so the series shouldn't be watched by anyone on a diet.
Meanwhile, my exciting Bernice Summerfield journey continues apace! Be wary of spoilers.
I shelled out £30 to get The Glass Prison and it was worth every single damn penny, due to it being absolutely incredible. All Benny fans need to read this, it's just stunningly good and certainly one of the very best Who-related books I've ever read (boasting the most chilling use of "Well, sod you" ever commited to page!). Fact: I especially loved the nice Grel Sophia. Additional fact: I love the Grel quite a bit in general and think they'd be perfect aliens for telly Doctor Who at some point. Make it happen, Moff!
The Infernal Nexus was really good too, especially the epilogue where Benny's pregnancy is revealed.
Overall, I definitely enjoyed the first "season" of book and audio stories, but I can see why they dropped the whole interlinked aspect as I'm not entirely convinced it quite worked. Basically, all the important, meaty character and plot stuff happens in the books (which are all excellent) and the audios feel a bit lightweight as a result because they don't have any of that stuff. That and they're just not very good, apart from The Extinction Event. The Stone's Lament was nice pulpy fun but nothing special and you'd have to pay me an awful lot to sit through The Skymines of Karthos again, which had the most amazing drop in quality halfway through I've ever heard. Thankfully the audios pick up again in a big way with series three...
The Greatest Shop in the Galaxy - A really fun, quirky romp that has a nice mix of weird humourous situations alongside more dramatic moments and some neat time paradox stuff I didn't see coming. I know some people aren't too keen on Benny's shoe obsession, but I think the explanation towards the end was more than satisfying! I loved the idea of a villain who gets sexual pleasure from the stock market.
The Green-Eyed Monsters - I loved this one. As it wasn't a prose novel, writer Dave Stone was basically forced to focus entirely on character and dialogue, and therefore couldn't fill it with all his colourful words and offbeat tangents - not that I have a problem with either of these things (I think his books are great), and it worked beautifully. Harry Myers is so, so much better as Adrian than he was in The Stone's Lament. This story is an excellent mix of comedy and character drama, basically. No one writes Jason Kane quite as well as his creator.
The Plague Herds of Excelis - Not officially part of series three (if you buy the bundle on the Big Finish website this won't be coming with it), but this is where it falls chronologically! I liked hearing Benny and Iris Wildthyme interact and really enjoyed their drunken antics. Some scenes felt a little bit over-stretched and I would've liked some more zombie animals, but I'd say this was worth a listen overall and stands on its own quite nicely from the Excelis trilogy (apart from one scene).
The Dance of the Dead - I'm sure anyone who watches sci-fi/fantasy telly will have seen the "characters possessed by dead people" episode - off the top of my head I can think of Buffy, Legend of the Seeker and Stargate Atlantis, and that's what this story is, but it does it really well and the concept leads to some great dramatic moments and an unpredictable plot. I liked that the Ice Warriors weren't too hissy, rubbish misgiving as that might be. The final scene with Benny's letter is beautiful. Great stuff.
The Mirror Effect - Absolutely amazing! The only Stewart Sheargold-penned story I'd heard before this was the Seventh Doctor audio The Death Collectors, which I loved. I'm pleased to say that I thought this was just as good, giving the same creepiness, drama and genuine edge, only with the added bonus of some searing character insights and really disturbing ideas and imagery. All the regular cast act their socks off and give their best performances so far. There are some very unsettling revelations about Brax, too. Totally brilliant and a great ending to a fine set of stories.
The Bellotron Incident - Quite good. Mike Tucker is a writer best described as "competent", even if he has an irritating tendency to have his characters argue all the time, which is the case here. Still, despite the silly twist-overload at the end, this is relatively entertaining and Bev is a very promising new character for the extended Benny cast. Big Finish would go on to make a far superior Rutan story, though (I would mention its title, but that'd spoil the surprise!).
The Draconian Rage - Trevor Baxendale is a very traditional, unexciting sort of Doctor Who writer, penning a lot of books which read like reheated stories from the 70s. When you see his name on a Whoniverse-related product, it's probably not going to make you delirious with joy. But that said, he really did knock one out of the park with the gloriously entertaining, grisly body horror-infused romp Eater of Wasps which was traditional Who at its very best, and I'm pleased to report that with The Draconian Rage he's produced a second absolutely terrific story. Baxendale does a good job of fleshing out the Draconians here and makes them very interesting. Benny's interactions with them are wonderful and there's a very memorable, very funny bath scene to be had. But this is a pretty darn grim story and has some moments of excruciating, genuinely disturbing torture. It's also a sequel to Baxendale's much-derided Doctor Who audio The Dark Flame, although you don't need to listen to that to understand this. One of my favourite Benny plays so far - it's dark, dramatic and boasting one of Lisa Bowerman's best performances so far.
The Poison Seas - Oh dear. David Bailey's past two scripts for the range (Cassandra and Skymines) were pretty weak all things considered and this isn't any different. Unfortunately it's made much worse by the Sea Devils. Have you ever wondered why the main Doctor Who range has yet to have a Sea Devils story? This is why. They are the absolute worst monster for audios ever. There's a point halfway through the story when I was listening to these two Sea Devils talking and talking in their whispery, gaspy, effects-drenched voices for a good five minutes about killer water protein and just thought "why am I listening to this?". There is just so much dialogue for the Sea Devils in this story, that it renders it practically unlistenable at times. Benny seems to do absolutely nothing (although Lisa Bowerman is as good as always), taking a backseat while the bloody Sea Devils witter on. The human characters aren't much cop either and are generally quite badly acted. A real letdown after some very strong plays and eminently skippable, basically.
Life During Wartime - I'm not sure if I'm yet capable of being coherent of this collection, and the same would go for you once you read A Bell Ringing in an Empty Sky. Jim Mortimore... bloody hell. The man is unhinged. Anyway, I'd say that was probably the best short story collection I've ever read. Ever. The stories by Rob Shearman, Cav Scott & Mark Wright and Kate Orman were particularly wonderful. In summary, then: wow.
Death and the Daleks - This was a bit special. It was wonderful to hear the entire supporting cast all in one play for the first time (Ms Jones sounded much younger than I was expecting, though!) and it did a great job of carrying on from where Life During Wartime left off. I can't imagine how confusing this must've been for people who hadn't read that collection first, though. So many wonderful things, I'm not sure where to start: going back to Heaven, multiple Doctor references, Brax's Type 80 and its reveal, Jason and Benny getting back together, Isaac Summerfield, Paul Cornell's deliciously witty and dramatic script... Yeah, this was fab. Dalek fans might be disappointed as they're not in it much, but I thought they were pretty well-served. And I must admit that I'm rather going to miss Mister Crofton.
And while I'm here, and because I'm sure you're dying to know, my verdict on Doctor Who series five so far:
Matt Smith is amazing. Remarkable. Incredible. Leagues better than Tennant. I knew he'd be good, but I didn't expect him to be quite this good. I love Amy too and her slight oddness. I love both characters together and I love Matt and Karen in real life - they seem so delightfully funny and goofy, which is really encouraging. I thought both episodes have been various shades of fantastic, too. Can you think of a better opening episode for a new Doctor than The Eleventh Hour? No, you can't. And the only serious competition (Power of the Daleks) has been burnt by some BBC caretaker back in the 70s. Castrovalva is still great, though.
Ashes to Ashes series three is astonishing so far, too. The more I think about it, the more I think it's probably the closest the UK is ever going to get to its own Twin Peaks or Lost. Life on Mars was weird at times, but this is ten times weirder and scarier, so naturally I adore it and because I'm weird I'm sort of hoping for an Alex/Shaz endgame although I know that's never going to happen. God knows how it's really all going to end, but I'll be sad if we don't get some kind of Sam Tyler cameo.
New Glee tonight! At sodding last! It feels like several ice ages since it was last on. I'll probably spend the first ten minutes marveling at the fact that I'm actually watching a new episode of Glee and not pay attention to what's going on. That's how sad I am.
It's... well. Well. Blimey. It's as good as everyone says it is. It's also by turns funny, bizarre, weird and downright bloody terrifying at times. So basically my idea of television perfection. I adore this kind of bizarre and scary stuff. It's all I'd ever watch if I could. A horrifying, long-haired man screaming like a demon as he bludgeons a woman to death in a battered old train carriage? People bursting into song and dancing for absolutely no reason? A dwarf in a red room that speaks backwards with subtitles? Yes bloody please! Inject that shit straight into my eyeballs!
You could watch the series entirely for one Agent Dale Cooper, played by Kyle McLachlan as a mix of Sherlock Holmes and the Doctor. He's fabulously weird and cool and gets all the best lines and scenes. It's his appearance thirty minutes into the pilot that cements Twin Peaks' enduring status. No Cooper, no show.
David Lynch has also filled the cast with the most improbably gorgeous collection of women ever put to film. Usually I wouldn't comment on this, but it's so screamingly obvious how beautiful practically all the women are that it starts to get painful to watch, as if your eyes can only take so much feminine perfection. The downside of the series does unfortunately also lie in the women, with the majority of them being defined by the men they're shagging and it starts to get tedious. To be honest it's probably not as bad as I'm making out and there's a ton of other stuff going on to distract you. I think my criticism partly could be the contrast between the other female characters and Audrey Horne (played by the beyond stunning Sherilyn Fenn - seriously, look at her), who despite having a thing for Agent Cooper manages to be endlessly resourceful, clever, enigmatic and just pure awesome, inching out Cooper as my favourite character.
Twin Peaks also has the distinction of being the first ever high concept, high budget, big name cast-featuring, entirely serialised US TV series ever and paved the way for the American TV revolution that has since given us a ton of fantastic telly.
If you've ever thought, "I fancy watching Twin Peaks" I'd definitely encourage it. The only downside is you'll start seeing this man wherever you look, and that's not a good thing. You'll also start experiencing cravings for coffee, donuts and pie, so the series shouldn't be watched by anyone on a diet.
Meanwhile, my exciting Bernice Summerfield journey continues apace! Be wary of spoilers.
I shelled out £30 to get The Glass Prison and it was worth every single damn penny, due to it being absolutely incredible. All Benny fans need to read this, it's just stunningly good and certainly one of the very best Who-related books I've ever read (boasting the most chilling use of "Well, sod you" ever commited to page!). Fact: I especially loved the nice Grel Sophia. Additional fact: I love the Grel quite a bit in general and think they'd be perfect aliens for telly Doctor Who at some point. Make it happen, Moff!
The Infernal Nexus was really good too, especially the epilogue where Benny's pregnancy is revealed.
Overall, I definitely enjoyed the first "season" of book and audio stories, but I can see why they dropped the whole interlinked aspect as I'm not entirely convinced it quite worked. Basically, all the important, meaty character and plot stuff happens in the books (which are all excellent) and the audios feel a bit lightweight as a result because they don't have any of that stuff. That and they're just not very good, apart from The Extinction Event. The Stone's Lament was nice pulpy fun but nothing special and you'd have to pay me an awful lot to sit through The Skymines of Karthos again, which had the most amazing drop in quality halfway through I've ever heard. Thankfully the audios pick up again in a big way with series three...
The Greatest Shop in the Galaxy - A really fun, quirky romp that has a nice mix of weird humourous situations alongside more dramatic moments and some neat time paradox stuff I didn't see coming. I know some people aren't too keen on Benny's shoe obsession, but I think the explanation towards the end was more than satisfying! I loved the idea of a villain who gets sexual pleasure from the stock market.
The Green-Eyed Monsters - I loved this one. As it wasn't a prose novel, writer Dave Stone was basically forced to focus entirely on character and dialogue, and therefore couldn't fill it with all his colourful words and offbeat tangents - not that I have a problem with either of these things (I think his books are great), and it worked beautifully. Harry Myers is so, so much better as Adrian than he was in The Stone's Lament. This story is an excellent mix of comedy and character drama, basically. No one writes Jason Kane quite as well as his creator.
The Plague Herds of Excelis - Not officially part of series three (if you buy the bundle on the Big Finish website this won't be coming with it), but this is where it falls chronologically! I liked hearing Benny and Iris Wildthyme interact and really enjoyed their drunken antics. Some scenes felt a little bit over-stretched and I would've liked some more zombie animals, but I'd say this was worth a listen overall and stands on its own quite nicely from the Excelis trilogy (apart from one scene).
The Dance of the Dead - I'm sure anyone who watches sci-fi/fantasy telly will have seen the "characters possessed by dead people" episode - off the top of my head I can think of Buffy, Legend of the Seeker and Stargate Atlantis, and that's what this story is, but it does it really well and the concept leads to some great dramatic moments and an unpredictable plot. I liked that the Ice Warriors weren't too hissy, rubbish misgiving as that might be. The final scene with Benny's letter is beautiful. Great stuff.
The Mirror Effect - Absolutely amazing! The only Stewart Sheargold-penned story I'd heard before this was the Seventh Doctor audio The Death Collectors, which I loved. I'm pleased to say that I thought this was just as good, giving the same creepiness, drama and genuine edge, only with the added bonus of some searing character insights and really disturbing ideas and imagery. All the regular cast act their socks off and give their best performances so far. There are some very unsettling revelations about Brax, too. Totally brilliant and a great ending to a fine set of stories.
The Bellotron Incident - Quite good. Mike Tucker is a writer best described as "competent", even if he has an irritating tendency to have his characters argue all the time, which is the case here. Still, despite the silly twist-overload at the end, this is relatively entertaining and Bev is a very promising new character for the extended Benny cast. Big Finish would go on to make a far superior Rutan story, though (I would mention its title, but that'd spoil the surprise!).
The Draconian Rage - Trevor Baxendale is a very traditional, unexciting sort of Doctor Who writer, penning a lot of books which read like reheated stories from the 70s. When you see his name on a Whoniverse-related product, it's probably not going to make you delirious with joy. But that said, he really did knock one out of the park with the gloriously entertaining, grisly body horror-infused romp Eater of Wasps which was traditional Who at its very best, and I'm pleased to report that with The Draconian Rage he's produced a second absolutely terrific story. Baxendale does a good job of fleshing out the Draconians here and makes them very interesting. Benny's interactions with them are wonderful and there's a very memorable, very funny bath scene to be had. But this is a pretty darn grim story and has some moments of excruciating, genuinely disturbing torture. It's also a sequel to Baxendale's much-derided Doctor Who audio The Dark Flame, although you don't need to listen to that to understand this. One of my favourite Benny plays so far - it's dark, dramatic and boasting one of Lisa Bowerman's best performances so far.
The Poison Seas - Oh dear. David Bailey's past two scripts for the range (Cassandra and Skymines) were pretty weak all things considered and this isn't any different. Unfortunately it's made much worse by the Sea Devils. Have you ever wondered why the main Doctor Who range has yet to have a Sea Devils story? This is why. They are the absolute worst monster for audios ever. There's a point halfway through the story when I was listening to these two Sea Devils talking and talking in their whispery, gaspy, effects-drenched voices for a good five minutes about killer water protein and just thought "why am I listening to this?". There is just so much dialogue for the Sea Devils in this story, that it renders it practically unlistenable at times. Benny seems to do absolutely nothing (although Lisa Bowerman is as good as always), taking a backseat while the bloody Sea Devils witter on. The human characters aren't much cop either and are generally quite badly acted. A real letdown after some very strong plays and eminently skippable, basically.
Life During Wartime - I'm not sure if I'm yet capable of being coherent of this collection, and the same would go for you once you read A Bell Ringing in an Empty Sky. Jim Mortimore... bloody hell. The man is unhinged. Anyway, I'd say that was probably the best short story collection I've ever read. Ever. The stories by Rob Shearman, Cav Scott & Mark Wright and Kate Orman were particularly wonderful. In summary, then: wow.
Death and the Daleks - This was a bit special. It was wonderful to hear the entire supporting cast all in one play for the first time (Ms Jones sounded much younger than I was expecting, though!) and it did a great job of carrying on from where Life During Wartime left off. I can't imagine how confusing this must've been for people who hadn't read that collection first, though. So many wonderful things, I'm not sure where to start: going back to Heaven, multiple Doctor references, Brax's Type 80 and its reveal, Jason and Benny getting back together, Isaac Summerfield, Paul Cornell's deliciously witty and dramatic script... Yeah, this was fab. Dalek fans might be disappointed as they're not in it much, but I thought they were pretty well-served. And I must admit that I'm rather going to miss Mister Crofton.
And while I'm here, and because I'm sure you're dying to know, my verdict on Doctor Who series five so far:
Matt Smith is amazing. Remarkable. Incredible. Leagues better than Tennant. I knew he'd be good, but I didn't expect him to be quite this good. I love Amy too and her slight oddness. I love both characters together and I love Matt and Karen in real life - they seem so delightfully funny and goofy, which is really encouraging. I thought both episodes have been various shades of fantastic, too. Can you think of a better opening episode for a new Doctor than The Eleventh Hour? No, you can't. And the only serious competition (Power of the Daleks) has been burnt by some BBC caretaker back in the 70s. Castrovalva is still great, though.
Ashes to Ashes series three is astonishing so far, too. The more I think about it, the more I think it's probably the closest the UK is ever going to get to its own Twin Peaks or Lost. Life on Mars was weird at times, but this is ten times weirder and scarier, so naturally I adore it and because I'm weird I'm sort of hoping for an Alex/Shaz endgame although I know that's never going to happen. God knows how it's really all going to end, but I'll be sad if we don't get some kind of Sam Tyler cameo.
New Glee tonight! At sodding last! It feels like several ice ages since it was last on. I'll probably spend the first ten minutes marveling at the fact that I'm actually watching a new episode of Glee and not pay attention to what's going on. That's how sad I am.