Fic: In Your Arms, Chapter 25
Title: In Your Arms
Rating: This chapter, PG-13
Pairing: Vam!
Summary: High school AU. A repressed Ville has had a crush on Bam for years, but the skater has never noticed him. However, when he does, Ville begins to break out of his confines with the skater’s help and Bam finally finds some stability in his life. But everybody knows things do not always go well.
Previous Chapters~ Here
-25
April pressed the button for the sixth floor of the hospital as the elevator doors closed, wincing at the mundane elevator music. Taking a deep breath, she watched the floor numbers above their heads light up as they ascended, seeing the image of Ville shift on his feet with his arms around himself in the mirrored walls. The woman, who’d introduced herself as Anette with her words heavily accented and halting, stood next to him, supporting Ville with a hand on his arm. Feeling’s April’s gaze on her, she looked up from the boy and met April’s eyes in the mirror. April looked away quickly, not sure what to make of the other woman.
Sighing, April looked into her own reflection of her tired, lined face and found she couldn’t even look herself in the eye. God damn it, she thought and put her face in her hands for a moment, massaging her temples that were beginning to pound. She would give anything to have Phil at her side, supporting her, but he’d had to go back to work and so she had to bring Ville to Bam on her own. If Bam doesn’t wake up after this… April couldn’t bring herself to finish the thought and ran her hands wearily down her face just as the elevator came to a stop, dinging it’s arrival as the doors slid open. Before she could step off a light touch to her elbow made her turn and look into wide and scared but sympathetic green eyes. April stared into them for a long moment, not sure what she was looking for in the vivid colour, but after a second she smiled a little and patted Ville’s hand on her arm, grateful for the little bit of comfort he was giving her. She still wasn’t sure about this strange, foreign boy with his haunted expression, but something told her she and him had something in common. Love, for Bam. Different kinds, yes, and one April wasn’t used to a boy feeling for another boy, least of all her son, but something maybe, just maybe, they could connect on.
“He’s just down this hall,” she said quietly, and Ville smiled tentatively at her before peering anxiously forward, his fingers shaking on her skin. April patted him soothingly one more time before leading him forward, her low heels clicking on the white tiles and bouncing eerily off the hospital walls. Coming to Bam’s room, she nodded at the guarding officer’s questioning look and he opened the door for them.
April paused in the doorway, shifting uneasily on her feet, and looked back at Ville, but he wasn’t looking at her. Ville’s gaze was firmly fixed on her unconscious son, his face an open book of anguish.
Ville felt his heart break inside his chest as he took in the sight of Bam lying so lifeless in the hospital bed, tears welling up in his eyes and dripping unhindered down his cheeks as he brushed past April and stepped into the room.
“Bam?” He managed to choke out before his entire body shook and he abruptly sat down on the bed beside Bam, breath hitching as he hovered a trembling hand over Bam’s cheek, touching the pale, cool skin lightly before bending over and burying his face between Bam’s shoulder and neck, sobbing as he inhaled Bam’s scent, normally so comforting but now tainted by the smell of antiseptic.
“Bam, oh god, my angel,” he whimpered, curling his fingers in Bam’s hospital shirt as he cried. It felt as if his heart was ripping itself out of his chest to see his lover in this condition, to know that something horrific had happened that Bam went through to reduce him to this. It physically pained him that he hadn’t been by Bam’s side the entire time. Almost killed him at the idea that Bam might never wake up, that he might die, because even if Ville had refused to even think seriously about it before looking at Bam now, at how weak he looked, it certainly seemed like a shocking possibility.
April stood at the door with her hand to her chest, holding her breath in, waiting, begging internally for any sign that Bam would wake, her heart aching in fearful anticipation. But the seconds ticked by and there was no movement, not even a twitch, and Bam’s eyelashes lay stubbornly against his cheeks, his chest rising and falling rhythmically, no reaction at all to Ville’s soft, pained pleading, not even when the boy crawled completely up onto the bed and moulded himself to Bam’s side, face still hidden in Bam’s shoulder as his frail frame was shook by heart-rendering sobs that hit April harder than she thought she ever could be.
Her hand dropped from her chest and she felt herself go cold, all the hope draining as her son lay like a still doll against the pristine white sheets. Who the hell was she kidding? Life wasn’t a fucking fairytale- true love or all that shit didn’t overcome anything. She’d been a fool to put all her hope into such a silly, stupid, foolish thought.
April took a shaky breath and closed her eyes and ears to the painful image in front of her. Listlessly she turned away, stepping out of the room again and shutting the door softly behind her, leaning against the wall and putting her face in her hands. She wanted to blame anything, anybody, for this, and for a moment her anger swelled at the Finnish boy currently with her son, but it quickly died down when she realised that nothing was really Ville’s fault. But God, she’d been so desperate for anything to hold onto and oh, what was she going to tell Phil? This would break his heart all over again.
A noise made her look up to see Anette standing outside the closed door also, looking into the room through the small glass window, the guard sitting in his chair minding his own business and flicking through a magazine. Her eyes were so sad also, but she turned to look at April and smiled a bit anyway. “I give… privacy? That is the word?”
April nodded.
“Your son, Bam, yes? Does he wake?”
April huffed a little broken laugh into her hands, shaking her head. “No. Not anymore.”
Anette touched her shoulder, but somehow she knew that if she tried anything else to express her sympathy April would not react well. She hoped that this situation would turn out for the better, for everybody’s sakes.
Bam, I don’t know you, but I’m sure that I’m not the only one saying this. Please, just wake up.
-
Ville sniffed lightly into Bam’s shoulder, coughing a little wetly and finally calming down a little. He’d known the situation coming in, but seeing Bam like this- it was still a shock that rattled him to his core. Even when Bam was sleeping he was restless, moving around a lot, snuffling and snoring lightly, even muttering sometimes as he dreamed. Now he was just so pale and still. It was distressingly unnatural.
Hiccupping quietly, he moved slowly to prop his upper body up on his elbow, brushing away the wetness on his cheeks. “Bam?” He whispered softly, hoarsely, feeling the hole in his chest expand. “Bam? Can you hear me? Are you… are you still here?”
No answer.
Ville’s breath hitched again and he leaned more over Bam’s body, careful of the still healing injuries and the IV attached to Bam’s arm. He searched Bam’s face for anything, any sign, but there was none on his boyish features. Biting his lip and feeling the tears well up again, Ville leaned his forehead down onto Bam’s and closed his eyes, feeling Bam’s breath against his lips and his body-heat against his skin. Even like this, Bam was warm.
“You know,” Ville started, clearing his throat a little and caressing Bam’s cheek with tender fingertips, “the first time I saw you was at the skate park you love so much.” He smiled a little painfully at the memory. “I was just walking past, feeling so shitty because we’d just moved from Helsinki and even though… even though mother promised it would be a new start it was just the same and all I wanted to do was lose myself. Back then, I was so far gone but too much of a coward to really kill myself that all I could do was just keep on walking and hopefully nobody would care enough to come looking. And then I heard somebody laugh and I looked up and…” He trailed off, swallowing back another sob.
“And you were just there, acting like a complete douche, showing off for your friends and some random girl, doing tricks all over the place. I should’ve hated you ‘cause it’s always your kind that beat on me, always being cool and shit but… For some stupid reason you made me feel so- happy and god you were just beautiful. I know it’s fucking cheesy but it was love at first sight and I didn’t even know who you were.” He choked out a laugh. “I’ll always remember your eyes, Bam. Always. So fucking blue.”
Ville took a deep, shaky breath and tears dripped from his eyelashes to run down Bam’s pallid cheeks. “Bam, you were the reason that I stopped and turned around and went back home, why I didn’t keep walking mindlessly until I collapsed in some shady alley and died in a pile of trash. Because I knew if I stayed I would be able to see you again. You’re the reason I’m alive so please, please, Bam, please wake up because I don’t know how to live without you,” he cried, fingers quivering on Bam’s skin. But despite his violent sobbing shaking his body, the small kiss he placed on Bam’s slightly parted lips was tender and soft, loving.
Ville prolonged the contact for as long as he could bear before he drew back, swallowing down his crying, and slowly opened his eyes. For a moment Bam was smiling at him, his eyes open and blue and gorgeous, but Ville blinked and the image was gone, replaced by Bam’s lifeless face.
Ville collapsed to the side and buried his face again in Bam’s neck, too tired to really cry anymore. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, “for leaving you. If I’d known this would happen I would’ve fought harder to stay. I just love you so much that it hurts now, like acid eating away at me. I know you said you loved me… but if not for me, wake up for your parents. Just wake up. I miss you.”
And Ville curled his fingers in Bam’s hospital gown over his heart and settled down to wait, murmuring Finnish folk-tales to his boyfriend with the beeping of Bam’s monitor echoing in his ears, wishing with everything he had that Bam would wake up and smile and run his hands through his hair and kiss him sweetly, tell him that he shouldn’t cry because he was alright now, that everything was fine and they could be together. But that didn’t happen. Bam remained still and pale against the white of the hospital sheets, breathing evenly as his lover started to silently sob between words into his neck.
-
After April had regained her composure and drunk some water in the cafeteria, Anette asked her in broken English where the nearest motel was where she and Ville could stay, knowing that April would probably appreciate the distraction. Plus, the taxi was probably still waiting outside and Anette hated to think how much she owed the driver now. It wasn’t as if she was currently swimming in cash.
April shook her head. “Don’t be silly, you can stay with Phil and me.” She wasn’t really in the mood for entertaining guests, but Anette looked equally tired and April knew that a little kindness could go a long way.
Anette blinked. “Oh. You are kind. Thank you much.” She smiled, feeling a little bit of the weight disappear from her shoulders. Well, they were sorted for the time being, but soon she would have to find a job and figure things out in the long term for Ville and her.
“Um, I will get… luggage from taxi,” she said as she stood from the cafeteria table.
April stood too. “I’ll help you,” she smiled weakly, “but then I have to make a phone call to my husband.”
Anette just nodded and led the way to the taxi still waiting outside. They collected her and Ville’s hastily packed bags and Anette paid the driver a ridiculous amount before transferring their things to April’s car parked in the hospital car park. Then they made their way back into the building, April pulling out her phone and speed-dialling Phil’s number.
“Hey, Ape,” Phil answered.
April didn’t waste any time. “Ville arrived about an hour ago.”
“Oh. And?”
“Nothing,” she said listlessly. “He didn’t even twitch.”
There was a disappointed silence before he spoke again. “Well, it might take some time. Bam’s stubborn as a mule you know,” but even as he said the words his voice lost a little bit of spark.
She closed her eyes. “Yeah.”
“I’ll be over in a bit to keep you company, just have to finish up some stuff at work.”
April sighed and rubbed her forehead tiredly. “Don’t bother. I think I’m just going to head home, get Ville and his caregiver settled in.”
“They staying at ours?”
“Yeah.”
“…Okay. See you in a bit then.” Then there was more silence, and April knew that Phil was feeling the same hopelessness as her in that very moment.
“Yeah. Bye, Phil. Love you,” she added.
“Love you too.”
She hung up, flipping her phone shut and slipping it into her handbag. Anette had wandered away while she’d been on the phone but now that she was done the woman drifted back to her side.
This time April didn’t offer a smile. “It’s been a long day and it’d getting dark so I’m going to head home. We’ll go up and get Ville and get you guys settled in and start dinner, if that’s okay?”
Anette nodded and they headed back to Bam’s room, a different guard at his door this time. April hesitated with her hand on the doorknob and then stepped back, her shoulders drooping. She couldn’t do this anymore, couldn’t look at her son, not with her hopes dashed just an hour ago. It was a selfish thought, but it hurt too much and April didn’t think she could take much more.
Instead, Anette slipped into the room, seemingly understanding her inability, and shut the door softly behind her. It only took half a minute for her to come back out again, her eyes soft and a gloomy curl to her lips.
“Ville is sleep. He is stressed, tired… very sad. Leave sleep with Bam. Left note for him.”
April didn’t fight the decision. Even if her feelings towards Ville was mixed, even she could see how thin and down-trodden the boy had looked, how much it looked like he needed a proper rest. “Okay. The nurses won’t bother him for staying longer than the visiting hours, I sorted that out a long time ago.” She smiled wirily. They’d fought with her in the beginning, but April had shown them who was boss when her son was concerned. They’d caught on quick.
“Come on, let’s go,” April beckoned and they left the hospital together, Anette glancing over her shoulder every few seconds as they did.
-
Lily sighed as she nodded at guard, checking her clipboard as she did the rounds on her floor. She hadn’t always wanted to be a nurse, but as her mother always said- some things in life just happen. It was hard work and tonight Lily wasn’t really up to it, but work was work. She had to pay the bills somehow.
The guard was Terry tonight, and he was a nice, young one, unlike some of the other brutes that leered at her and tried to cope a feel just because she was blonde and not a hundred years old like some of the other nurses. He smiled and stood up to open the door for her. “He’s got a different visitor tonight. No Mrs or Mr Margera.”
Lily hated to admit it, but she let out a relieved sigh. “Thank god. That woman can be a tyrant,” she shared a knowing smile with Terry before stepping in, checking her clipboard for Brandon Margera’s information even if she basically knew them off by heart by now. She looked up and paused at the sight of two bodies curled up on the bed, sighing again. She wasn’t supposed to let that happen, but then again she’d been letting April and Phil violate the visiting hours restrictions since almost day one so what was this anyways.
“Hello Brandon,” she greeted quietly as she went around quietly checking her patient’s stats. Lily always made a point to talk to them, even if they couldn’t hear her. And Brandon had always tugged at her heartstrings, the poor thing. So young and handsome, probably mischievous beyond measure and full of life, dancing on the edge of a blade between consciousness and death. “Who’s your companion tonight?”
Not one that she’d seen yet, judging from their slumbering form. She’d always wondered if Brandon had a girlfriend since he was rather cute, but all she’d seen was concerned family and his rowdy gaggle of friends. It seemed maybe this person was it, seemingly from the way they were wrapped around Brandon so lovingly, and Lily pondered on why they hadn’t shown before. Then she spotted something and made a small noise of surprise.
“A boy then, you lucky bastard,” Lily smiled to herself when she saw the Adam’s apple on the boy’s throat. Maybe that had something to do with it. “Now you really have something to wake up for. Don’t want to keep your lovely boyfriend hanging, do you Brandon? He might just be snatched up by someone else if you’re gone too long,” she murmured and then raised an eyebrow at the stats she recorded.
“Well,” Lily smiled a bit and patted the new sleeping boy on the shoulder.
“Seem’s like you’re good for him,” she whispered at then stepped out of the room, her mood lifted a bit from the heart-warming sight. The two were just adorable together. She waved goodbye to Terry and walked back down the hall to her station, her round done for the moment.
As she walked she passed an orderly with a mask over his face. His brown eyes gave her the shivers, but she quickly dismissed him from her mind. A cup of tea was calling her name.
-
The first thing that he became aware of was that he ached. Everywhere.
Holy shit, he thought, what the fuck happened?
And then the second thing was the familiar scent of antiseptic, the beeping of a heart monitor. He knew well enough from all his skating accidents that he was in hospital.
Right. Okay, in hospital. I repeat, what the fuck happened?
Then the third thing, a soft breathing from beside him, a comforting, radiating warmth at his side.
Bam moaned a little and slowly blinked his gritty eyes open, grateful that it was dark since he was pretty sure sunlight would kill his eyes at the moment. It was still light enough though for him to see that he was really in a hospital room, posters probably from his friends haphazardly tacked to the wall. He must’ve been unconscious for a while then. No wonder- his head hurt like anything. He would kill Novak if the little bastard had whacked him over the head again with his skateboard.
Movement from beside him made him blink and slowly turn his head on the pillow. He was greeted with the sight of a pale face and long dark lashes resting against high cheekbones, red lips parted as the person slumbered restlessly, a cute, pierced ear exposed as dark curls tumbled around the pretty face. They looked slightly sick though, a little too thin with big bags under reddened eyes.
Not that I’m complaining, but who the hell is this?
With no answers forth coming, Bam tried to sit up, the person’s arm falling from his chest, wincing as a sharp pain ignited in his left wrist. Well, that was broken. Giving up, his body aching too much, he collapsed back and gave a huge sigh.
Apparently the person was a light sleeper, and they mumbled something before stirring, eyes blinking open to reveal lethargic green eyes.
“Hey,” Bam croaked, grimacing at his hurting, dry throat.
Those eyes widened suddenly and the person gasped, sitting up like there was a fire lit under them. “Bam? Bam, angel, oh god you’re awake!” The boy’s face transformed into such an ecstatic, relieved expression, green eyes sparkling a little with tears but more with emotion, and mouth stretched into a huge smile. It made something flicker in Bam’s memory, made, for some odd reason, his heart glow, but it was when the boy flung himself onto Bam, still somehow mindful of his wrist, and the warm, heartfelt kiss the boy placed on his lips that he remembered everything.
“Ville!” He exploded, and the other boy flinched back, surprised, but Bam just grabbed onto Ville’s silky hair with his unwounded hand and drew his sweet mouth back down and kissed him as passionately as he could with a dry mouth, feeling his body relax as Ville melted into him, moaning happily.
When they parted Bam realised that Ville was crying, but he was laughing at the same time with joy, peppering kisses all over Bam’s face. “Bam, Bam,” he kept repeating, and Bam laughed a little along with him, drawing his lover down again to breath in his scent, to kiss him on the lips again, feeling his own tears well up.
“God, Ville, don’t ever leave me again. Don’t ever,” Bam whispered hoarsely as they parted slightly and just rested together, looking each other in the eyes.
Ville smiled wetly and sniffed, kissing Bam chastely again and burying his hands in Bam’s unruly curls, stroking them. “Never,” he promised, and before Bam could ask he added, “I swear. Cross my heart, my Bam. Cross my heart.”
“Fuck, Willa, love you,” Bam smiled, hiccupping, and Ville smiled back. “Love you too, angel.” Then they kissed again, long and soft, basking in the warmth and relief and pleasure of finally being together again. Ville muttered happily in Finnish against Bam’s lips and the skater huffed a laugh, stroking Ville’s sides gingerly with his injured hand as they parted slightly, only leaving mere inches between their faces.
“Not that I mind, hell no, but what are you doing back here? And how?” Bam croaked, making a disgruntled noise as Ville sat up gingerly, straddling his hips, but then also helped Bam sit up also by fiddling with the bed-controls. Ville really should’ve slipped off of Bam’s lap but he didn’t want to leave his boyfriend, even if it was to his bedside. Bam didn’t seem to mind either from the looks of things. They both didn’t want to lose contact, the precious touch of the other, for a moment.
“Your mother rang me-” Ville said as he held up a glass of water from the bedside table to Bam’s lips, helping him drink. Bam almost spat his mouthful when he heard that, no matter that he was so thirsty, but he managed to swallow it down.
“Ape rang you? What the hell?” He spluttered, and Ville blinked a bit before smiling fondly at Bam’s stupefied expression and shrugging, helping Bam drink some more water.
“Yeah. I have no idea actually how she got my number in Helsinki, but she rang me yesterday and told- told me what had happened,” Ville voice broke and he had to put the glass down his hand was shaking so much.
“God, babe,” Bam muttered and hugged Ville to him, feeling Ville quiver against him in relief.
“It was terrible,” Ville choked, nuzzling into Bam’s cheek. “I felt either like an emotionless block of wood half the time or a deep hole of depression without you. I just missed you so bad it hurt, Bam, it hurt so bad I almost couldn’t- didn’t even know if you wanted me anymore and then-”
“Woah- woah, back up a bit there,” Bam said, drawing Ville’s head back to look him in distraught green eyes. “You weren’t sure that I wanted you anymore? What the hell did I do to make you feel like that?” He said incredulously, feeling hurt from that and from seeing his Ville in so much pain.
“Oh, Bam, it wasn’t your fault,” Ville reassured, seeing the hurt in Bam’s eyes. He moved closer, if that was actually possible, and wrapped his arms around Bam’s neck and practically plastered himself to Bam from chest to groin, not wanting to be apart from Bam for a second. He’d had too much of that to last a life time. “You were in hospital so I guess you couldn’t return my calls. I bet there are hundreds of emails in your inbox by now- I kind of lost count over the weeks.”
“Weeks?” Bam almost shouted, wrapping his own arms gingerly around Ville’s miniature waist to keep him close. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” Ville murmured, not really wanting to talk about it. “About just over a month.”
Bam slumped more into his pillows, taking Ville willingly with him. “Shit, Ville. Fuck, I am so fucking sorry,” he sighed, knowing how much of a wreck Ville had become when they’d spilt for only a few days. It had to of had been hell for Ville.
Ville hummed, kissing away Bam’s left over tears softly with velvet lips. “It’s okay now that you’re here. Awake. Fuck, Bam, you’re awake,” he hiccupped and they kissed again, almost overwhelmed with emotion.
“Yeah, I am, and I’ll never do that to you again, Ville. I’m gonna fucking find Shanks and kill him for doing this to us, shit that fuckhead,” Bam swore viciously, eyes narrowing when he remembered what the jock and his two friends had done to him, had threatened to do to Ville. At least Ville had been in Finland, miserable but safe, and now he was back with Bam the skater would let nothing happen to him.
“Bam,” Ville admonished, but said nothing more as he quickly slipped his tongue into Bam’s mouth to stop his angry rant, both their eyes slipping shut and bodies relaxing as they lost themselves in each other. Wet sounds of lips and tongues meeting over and over again filled the air and Bam slid his fingers under the hem of Ville’s shirt to slowly stroke his sensitive skin with his fingertips, not able to do much more even if Ville wriggled deliciously in his lap, too tired and achy from his ordeal.
They were too preoccupied with each other to hear a small commotion outside the door and then ominous silence, before the door quietly opened and a shadowy figure slipped into the dimly lit room, the door clicking almost silently shut. It was too late by the time Bam noticed something was wrong and snapped his eyes open, just in time to see somebody grab Ville by his hair and wrench him out of his hold, a large gleaming knife pressed to Ville’s pale neck.
“Don’t make a sound or I’ll slit his throat,” Darren hissed.
Chapter 26------>
A/N: O.O I can’t seem to give them a break now can I? Hehe. It’s the cliffhanger of DOOM. Well, at least Bam’s awake now, yes? XD
Well, I hope everybody had a great Christmas. I sure did, even if two more earthquakes kind of ruined it a bit. At least nobody died this time. :/ I wish everybody a happy new year, one filled with prosperity, rainbows, unicorns and HIM. (OMG NEW HIM ALBUM IN THE WORKS CAN’T WAIT CAN’T WAIT NOW CAN I HAVE IT NOW PLEASE?) Seems like 2012 will be a good one!
Rating: This chapter, PG-13
Pairing: Vam!
Summary: High school AU. A repressed Ville has had a crush on Bam for years, but the skater has never noticed him. However, when he does, Ville begins to break out of his confines with the skater’s help and Bam finally finds some stability in his life. But everybody knows things do not always go well.
Previous Chapters~ Here
-25
April pressed the button for the sixth floor of the hospital as the elevator doors closed, wincing at the mundane elevator music. Taking a deep breath, she watched the floor numbers above their heads light up as they ascended, seeing the image of Ville shift on his feet with his arms around himself in the mirrored walls. The woman, who’d introduced herself as Anette with her words heavily accented and halting, stood next to him, supporting Ville with a hand on his arm. Feeling’s April’s gaze on her, she looked up from the boy and met April’s eyes in the mirror. April looked away quickly, not sure what to make of the other woman.
Sighing, April looked into her own reflection of her tired, lined face and found she couldn’t even look herself in the eye. God damn it, she thought and put her face in her hands for a moment, massaging her temples that were beginning to pound. She would give anything to have Phil at her side, supporting her, but he’d had to go back to work and so she had to bring Ville to Bam on her own. If Bam doesn’t wake up after this… April couldn’t bring herself to finish the thought and ran her hands wearily down her face just as the elevator came to a stop, dinging it’s arrival as the doors slid open. Before she could step off a light touch to her elbow made her turn and look into wide and scared but sympathetic green eyes. April stared into them for a long moment, not sure what she was looking for in the vivid colour, but after a second she smiled a little and patted Ville’s hand on her arm, grateful for the little bit of comfort he was giving her. She still wasn’t sure about this strange, foreign boy with his haunted expression, but something told her she and him had something in common. Love, for Bam. Different kinds, yes, and one April wasn’t used to a boy feeling for another boy, least of all her son, but something maybe, just maybe, they could connect on.
“He’s just down this hall,” she said quietly, and Ville smiled tentatively at her before peering anxiously forward, his fingers shaking on her skin. April patted him soothingly one more time before leading him forward, her low heels clicking on the white tiles and bouncing eerily off the hospital walls. Coming to Bam’s room, she nodded at the guarding officer’s questioning look and he opened the door for them.
April paused in the doorway, shifting uneasily on her feet, and looked back at Ville, but he wasn’t looking at her. Ville’s gaze was firmly fixed on her unconscious son, his face an open book of anguish.
Ville felt his heart break inside his chest as he took in the sight of Bam lying so lifeless in the hospital bed, tears welling up in his eyes and dripping unhindered down his cheeks as he brushed past April and stepped into the room.
“Bam?” He managed to choke out before his entire body shook and he abruptly sat down on the bed beside Bam, breath hitching as he hovered a trembling hand over Bam’s cheek, touching the pale, cool skin lightly before bending over and burying his face between Bam’s shoulder and neck, sobbing as he inhaled Bam’s scent, normally so comforting but now tainted by the smell of antiseptic.
“Bam, oh god, my angel,” he whimpered, curling his fingers in Bam’s hospital shirt as he cried. It felt as if his heart was ripping itself out of his chest to see his lover in this condition, to know that something horrific had happened that Bam went through to reduce him to this. It physically pained him that he hadn’t been by Bam’s side the entire time. Almost killed him at the idea that Bam might never wake up, that he might die, because even if Ville had refused to even think seriously about it before looking at Bam now, at how weak he looked, it certainly seemed like a shocking possibility.
April stood at the door with her hand to her chest, holding her breath in, waiting, begging internally for any sign that Bam would wake, her heart aching in fearful anticipation. But the seconds ticked by and there was no movement, not even a twitch, and Bam’s eyelashes lay stubbornly against his cheeks, his chest rising and falling rhythmically, no reaction at all to Ville’s soft, pained pleading, not even when the boy crawled completely up onto the bed and moulded himself to Bam’s side, face still hidden in Bam’s shoulder as his frail frame was shook by heart-rendering sobs that hit April harder than she thought she ever could be.
Her hand dropped from her chest and she felt herself go cold, all the hope draining as her son lay like a still doll against the pristine white sheets. Who the hell was she kidding? Life wasn’t a fucking fairytale- true love or all that shit didn’t overcome anything. She’d been a fool to put all her hope into such a silly, stupid, foolish thought.
April took a shaky breath and closed her eyes and ears to the painful image in front of her. Listlessly she turned away, stepping out of the room again and shutting the door softly behind her, leaning against the wall and putting her face in her hands. She wanted to blame anything, anybody, for this, and for a moment her anger swelled at the Finnish boy currently with her son, but it quickly died down when she realised that nothing was really Ville’s fault. But God, she’d been so desperate for anything to hold onto and oh, what was she going to tell Phil? This would break his heart all over again.
A noise made her look up to see Anette standing outside the closed door also, looking into the room through the small glass window, the guard sitting in his chair minding his own business and flicking through a magazine. Her eyes were so sad also, but she turned to look at April and smiled a bit anyway. “I give… privacy? That is the word?”
April nodded.
“Your son, Bam, yes? Does he wake?”
April huffed a little broken laugh into her hands, shaking her head. “No. Not anymore.”
Anette touched her shoulder, but somehow she knew that if she tried anything else to express her sympathy April would not react well. She hoped that this situation would turn out for the better, for everybody’s sakes.
Bam, I don’t know you, but I’m sure that I’m not the only one saying this. Please, just wake up.
-
Ville sniffed lightly into Bam’s shoulder, coughing a little wetly and finally calming down a little. He’d known the situation coming in, but seeing Bam like this- it was still a shock that rattled him to his core. Even when Bam was sleeping he was restless, moving around a lot, snuffling and snoring lightly, even muttering sometimes as he dreamed. Now he was just so pale and still. It was distressingly unnatural.
Hiccupping quietly, he moved slowly to prop his upper body up on his elbow, brushing away the wetness on his cheeks. “Bam?” He whispered softly, hoarsely, feeling the hole in his chest expand. “Bam? Can you hear me? Are you… are you still here?”
No answer.
Ville’s breath hitched again and he leaned more over Bam’s body, careful of the still healing injuries and the IV attached to Bam’s arm. He searched Bam’s face for anything, any sign, but there was none on his boyish features. Biting his lip and feeling the tears well up again, Ville leaned his forehead down onto Bam’s and closed his eyes, feeling Bam’s breath against his lips and his body-heat against his skin. Even like this, Bam was warm.
“You know,” Ville started, clearing his throat a little and caressing Bam’s cheek with tender fingertips, “the first time I saw you was at the skate park you love so much.” He smiled a little painfully at the memory. “I was just walking past, feeling so shitty because we’d just moved from Helsinki and even though… even though mother promised it would be a new start it was just the same and all I wanted to do was lose myself. Back then, I was so far gone but too much of a coward to really kill myself that all I could do was just keep on walking and hopefully nobody would care enough to come looking. And then I heard somebody laugh and I looked up and…” He trailed off, swallowing back another sob.
“And you were just there, acting like a complete douche, showing off for your friends and some random girl, doing tricks all over the place. I should’ve hated you ‘cause it’s always your kind that beat on me, always being cool and shit but… For some stupid reason you made me feel so- happy and god you were just beautiful. I know it’s fucking cheesy but it was love at first sight and I didn’t even know who you were.” He choked out a laugh. “I’ll always remember your eyes, Bam. Always. So fucking blue.”
Ville took a deep, shaky breath and tears dripped from his eyelashes to run down Bam’s pallid cheeks. “Bam, you were the reason that I stopped and turned around and went back home, why I didn’t keep walking mindlessly until I collapsed in some shady alley and died in a pile of trash. Because I knew if I stayed I would be able to see you again. You’re the reason I’m alive so please, please, Bam, please wake up because I don’t know how to live without you,” he cried, fingers quivering on Bam’s skin. But despite his violent sobbing shaking his body, the small kiss he placed on Bam’s slightly parted lips was tender and soft, loving.
Ville prolonged the contact for as long as he could bear before he drew back, swallowing down his crying, and slowly opened his eyes. For a moment Bam was smiling at him, his eyes open and blue and gorgeous, but Ville blinked and the image was gone, replaced by Bam’s lifeless face.
Ville collapsed to the side and buried his face again in Bam’s neck, too tired to really cry anymore. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, “for leaving you. If I’d known this would happen I would’ve fought harder to stay. I just love you so much that it hurts now, like acid eating away at me. I know you said you loved me… but if not for me, wake up for your parents. Just wake up. I miss you.”
And Ville curled his fingers in Bam’s hospital gown over his heart and settled down to wait, murmuring Finnish folk-tales to his boyfriend with the beeping of Bam’s monitor echoing in his ears, wishing with everything he had that Bam would wake up and smile and run his hands through his hair and kiss him sweetly, tell him that he shouldn’t cry because he was alright now, that everything was fine and they could be together. But that didn’t happen. Bam remained still and pale against the white of the hospital sheets, breathing evenly as his lover started to silently sob between words into his neck.
-
After April had regained her composure and drunk some water in the cafeteria, Anette asked her in broken English where the nearest motel was where she and Ville could stay, knowing that April would probably appreciate the distraction. Plus, the taxi was probably still waiting outside and Anette hated to think how much she owed the driver now. It wasn’t as if she was currently swimming in cash.
April shook her head. “Don’t be silly, you can stay with Phil and me.” She wasn’t really in the mood for entertaining guests, but Anette looked equally tired and April knew that a little kindness could go a long way.
Anette blinked. “Oh. You are kind. Thank you much.” She smiled, feeling a little bit of the weight disappear from her shoulders. Well, they were sorted for the time being, but soon she would have to find a job and figure things out in the long term for Ville and her.
“Um, I will get… luggage from taxi,” she said as she stood from the cafeteria table.
April stood too. “I’ll help you,” she smiled weakly, “but then I have to make a phone call to my husband.”
Anette just nodded and led the way to the taxi still waiting outside. They collected her and Ville’s hastily packed bags and Anette paid the driver a ridiculous amount before transferring their things to April’s car parked in the hospital car park. Then they made their way back into the building, April pulling out her phone and speed-dialling Phil’s number.
“Hey, Ape,” Phil answered.
April didn’t waste any time. “Ville arrived about an hour ago.”
“Oh. And?”
“Nothing,” she said listlessly. “He didn’t even twitch.”
There was a disappointed silence before he spoke again. “Well, it might take some time. Bam’s stubborn as a mule you know,” but even as he said the words his voice lost a little bit of spark.
She closed her eyes. “Yeah.”
“I’ll be over in a bit to keep you company, just have to finish up some stuff at work.”
April sighed and rubbed her forehead tiredly. “Don’t bother. I think I’m just going to head home, get Ville and his caregiver settled in.”
“They staying at ours?”
“Yeah.”
“…Okay. See you in a bit then.” Then there was more silence, and April knew that Phil was feeling the same hopelessness as her in that very moment.
“Yeah. Bye, Phil. Love you,” she added.
“Love you too.”
She hung up, flipping her phone shut and slipping it into her handbag. Anette had wandered away while she’d been on the phone but now that she was done the woman drifted back to her side.
This time April didn’t offer a smile. “It’s been a long day and it’d getting dark so I’m going to head home. We’ll go up and get Ville and get you guys settled in and start dinner, if that’s okay?”
Anette nodded and they headed back to Bam’s room, a different guard at his door this time. April hesitated with her hand on the doorknob and then stepped back, her shoulders drooping. She couldn’t do this anymore, couldn’t look at her son, not with her hopes dashed just an hour ago. It was a selfish thought, but it hurt too much and April didn’t think she could take much more.
Instead, Anette slipped into the room, seemingly understanding her inability, and shut the door softly behind her. It only took half a minute for her to come back out again, her eyes soft and a gloomy curl to her lips.
“Ville is sleep. He is stressed, tired… very sad. Leave sleep with Bam. Left note for him.”
April didn’t fight the decision. Even if her feelings towards Ville was mixed, even she could see how thin and down-trodden the boy had looked, how much it looked like he needed a proper rest. “Okay. The nurses won’t bother him for staying longer than the visiting hours, I sorted that out a long time ago.” She smiled wirily. They’d fought with her in the beginning, but April had shown them who was boss when her son was concerned. They’d caught on quick.
“Come on, let’s go,” April beckoned and they left the hospital together, Anette glancing over her shoulder every few seconds as they did.
-
Lily sighed as she nodded at guard, checking her clipboard as she did the rounds on her floor. She hadn’t always wanted to be a nurse, but as her mother always said- some things in life just happen. It was hard work and tonight Lily wasn’t really up to it, but work was work. She had to pay the bills somehow.
The guard was Terry tonight, and he was a nice, young one, unlike some of the other brutes that leered at her and tried to cope a feel just because she was blonde and not a hundred years old like some of the other nurses. He smiled and stood up to open the door for her. “He’s got a different visitor tonight. No Mrs or Mr Margera.”
Lily hated to admit it, but she let out a relieved sigh. “Thank god. That woman can be a tyrant,” she shared a knowing smile with Terry before stepping in, checking her clipboard for Brandon Margera’s information even if she basically knew them off by heart by now. She looked up and paused at the sight of two bodies curled up on the bed, sighing again. She wasn’t supposed to let that happen, but then again she’d been letting April and Phil violate the visiting hours restrictions since almost day one so what was this anyways.
“Hello Brandon,” she greeted quietly as she went around quietly checking her patient’s stats. Lily always made a point to talk to them, even if they couldn’t hear her. And Brandon had always tugged at her heartstrings, the poor thing. So young and handsome, probably mischievous beyond measure and full of life, dancing on the edge of a blade between consciousness and death. “Who’s your companion tonight?”
Not one that she’d seen yet, judging from their slumbering form. She’d always wondered if Brandon had a girlfriend since he was rather cute, but all she’d seen was concerned family and his rowdy gaggle of friends. It seemed maybe this person was it, seemingly from the way they were wrapped around Brandon so lovingly, and Lily pondered on why they hadn’t shown before. Then she spotted something and made a small noise of surprise.
“A boy then, you lucky bastard,” Lily smiled to herself when she saw the Adam’s apple on the boy’s throat. Maybe that had something to do with it. “Now you really have something to wake up for. Don’t want to keep your lovely boyfriend hanging, do you Brandon? He might just be snatched up by someone else if you’re gone too long,” she murmured and then raised an eyebrow at the stats she recorded.
“Well,” Lily smiled a bit and patted the new sleeping boy on the shoulder.
“Seem’s like you’re good for him,” she whispered at then stepped out of the room, her mood lifted a bit from the heart-warming sight. The two were just adorable together. She waved goodbye to Terry and walked back down the hall to her station, her round done for the moment.
As she walked she passed an orderly with a mask over his face. His brown eyes gave her the shivers, but she quickly dismissed him from her mind. A cup of tea was calling her name.
-
The first thing that he became aware of was that he ached. Everywhere.
Holy shit, he thought, what the fuck happened?
And then the second thing was the familiar scent of antiseptic, the beeping of a heart monitor. He knew well enough from all his skating accidents that he was in hospital.
Right. Okay, in hospital. I repeat, what the fuck happened?
Then the third thing, a soft breathing from beside him, a comforting, radiating warmth at his side.
Bam moaned a little and slowly blinked his gritty eyes open, grateful that it was dark since he was pretty sure sunlight would kill his eyes at the moment. It was still light enough though for him to see that he was really in a hospital room, posters probably from his friends haphazardly tacked to the wall. He must’ve been unconscious for a while then. No wonder- his head hurt like anything. He would kill Novak if the little bastard had whacked him over the head again with his skateboard.
Movement from beside him made him blink and slowly turn his head on the pillow. He was greeted with the sight of a pale face and long dark lashes resting against high cheekbones, red lips parted as the person slumbered restlessly, a cute, pierced ear exposed as dark curls tumbled around the pretty face. They looked slightly sick though, a little too thin with big bags under reddened eyes.
Not that I’m complaining, but who the hell is this?
With no answers forth coming, Bam tried to sit up, the person’s arm falling from his chest, wincing as a sharp pain ignited in his left wrist. Well, that was broken. Giving up, his body aching too much, he collapsed back and gave a huge sigh.
Apparently the person was a light sleeper, and they mumbled something before stirring, eyes blinking open to reveal lethargic green eyes.
“Hey,” Bam croaked, grimacing at his hurting, dry throat.
Those eyes widened suddenly and the person gasped, sitting up like there was a fire lit under them. “Bam? Bam, angel, oh god you’re awake!” The boy’s face transformed into such an ecstatic, relieved expression, green eyes sparkling a little with tears but more with emotion, and mouth stretched into a huge smile. It made something flicker in Bam’s memory, made, for some odd reason, his heart glow, but it was when the boy flung himself onto Bam, still somehow mindful of his wrist, and the warm, heartfelt kiss the boy placed on his lips that he remembered everything.
“Ville!” He exploded, and the other boy flinched back, surprised, but Bam just grabbed onto Ville’s silky hair with his unwounded hand and drew his sweet mouth back down and kissed him as passionately as he could with a dry mouth, feeling his body relax as Ville melted into him, moaning happily.
When they parted Bam realised that Ville was crying, but he was laughing at the same time with joy, peppering kisses all over Bam’s face. “Bam, Bam,” he kept repeating, and Bam laughed a little along with him, drawing his lover down again to breath in his scent, to kiss him on the lips again, feeling his own tears well up.
“God, Ville, don’t ever leave me again. Don’t ever,” Bam whispered hoarsely as they parted slightly and just rested together, looking each other in the eyes.
Ville smiled wetly and sniffed, kissing Bam chastely again and burying his hands in Bam’s unruly curls, stroking them. “Never,” he promised, and before Bam could ask he added, “I swear. Cross my heart, my Bam. Cross my heart.”
“Fuck, Willa, love you,” Bam smiled, hiccupping, and Ville smiled back. “Love you too, angel.” Then they kissed again, long and soft, basking in the warmth and relief and pleasure of finally being together again. Ville muttered happily in Finnish against Bam’s lips and the skater huffed a laugh, stroking Ville’s sides gingerly with his injured hand as they parted slightly, only leaving mere inches between their faces.
“Not that I mind, hell no, but what are you doing back here? And how?” Bam croaked, making a disgruntled noise as Ville sat up gingerly, straddling his hips, but then also helped Bam sit up also by fiddling with the bed-controls. Ville really should’ve slipped off of Bam’s lap but he didn’t want to leave his boyfriend, even if it was to his bedside. Bam didn’t seem to mind either from the looks of things. They both didn’t want to lose contact, the precious touch of the other, for a moment.
“Your mother rang me-” Ville said as he held up a glass of water from the bedside table to Bam’s lips, helping him drink. Bam almost spat his mouthful when he heard that, no matter that he was so thirsty, but he managed to swallow it down.
“Ape rang you? What the hell?” He spluttered, and Ville blinked a bit before smiling fondly at Bam’s stupefied expression and shrugging, helping Bam drink some more water.
“Yeah. I have no idea actually how she got my number in Helsinki, but she rang me yesterday and told- told me what had happened,” Ville voice broke and he had to put the glass down his hand was shaking so much.
“God, babe,” Bam muttered and hugged Ville to him, feeling Ville quiver against him in relief.
“It was terrible,” Ville choked, nuzzling into Bam’s cheek. “I felt either like an emotionless block of wood half the time or a deep hole of depression without you. I just missed you so bad it hurt, Bam, it hurt so bad I almost couldn’t- didn’t even know if you wanted me anymore and then-”
“Woah- woah, back up a bit there,” Bam said, drawing Ville’s head back to look him in distraught green eyes. “You weren’t sure that I wanted you anymore? What the hell did I do to make you feel like that?” He said incredulously, feeling hurt from that and from seeing his Ville in so much pain.
“Oh, Bam, it wasn’t your fault,” Ville reassured, seeing the hurt in Bam’s eyes. He moved closer, if that was actually possible, and wrapped his arms around Bam’s neck and practically plastered himself to Bam from chest to groin, not wanting to be apart from Bam for a second. He’d had too much of that to last a life time. “You were in hospital so I guess you couldn’t return my calls. I bet there are hundreds of emails in your inbox by now- I kind of lost count over the weeks.”
“Weeks?” Bam almost shouted, wrapping his own arms gingerly around Ville’s miniature waist to keep him close. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” Ville murmured, not really wanting to talk about it. “About just over a month.”
Bam slumped more into his pillows, taking Ville willingly with him. “Shit, Ville. Fuck, I am so fucking sorry,” he sighed, knowing how much of a wreck Ville had become when they’d spilt for only a few days. It had to of had been hell for Ville.
Ville hummed, kissing away Bam’s left over tears softly with velvet lips. “It’s okay now that you’re here. Awake. Fuck, Bam, you’re awake,” he hiccupped and they kissed again, almost overwhelmed with emotion.
“Yeah, I am, and I’ll never do that to you again, Ville. I’m gonna fucking find Shanks and kill him for doing this to us, shit that fuckhead,” Bam swore viciously, eyes narrowing when he remembered what the jock and his two friends had done to him, had threatened to do to Ville. At least Ville had been in Finland, miserable but safe, and now he was back with Bam the skater would let nothing happen to him.
“Bam,” Ville admonished, but said nothing more as he quickly slipped his tongue into Bam’s mouth to stop his angry rant, both their eyes slipping shut and bodies relaxing as they lost themselves in each other. Wet sounds of lips and tongues meeting over and over again filled the air and Bam slid his fingers under the hem of Ville’s shirt to slowly stroke his sensitive skin with his fingertips, not able to do much more even if Ville wriggled deliciously in his lap, too tired and achy from his ordeal.
They were too preoccupied with each other to hear a small commotion outside the door and then ominous silence, before the door quietly opened and a shadowy figure slipped into the dimly lit room, the door clicking almost silently shut. It was too late by the time Bam noticed something was wrong and snapped his eyes open, just in time to see somebody grab Ville by his hair and wrench him out of his hold, a large gleaming knife pressed to Ville’s pale neck.
“Don’t make a sound or I’ll slit his throat,” Darren hissed.
Chapter 26------>
A/N: O.O I can’t seem to give them a break now can I? Hehe. It’s the cliffhanger of DOOM. Well, at least Bam’s awake now, yes? XD
Well, I hope everybody had a great Christmas. I sure did, even if two more earthquakes kind of ruined it a bit. At least nobody died this time. :/ I wish everybody a happy new year, one filled with prosperity, rainbows, unicorns and HIM. (OMG NEW HIM ALBUM IN THE WORKS CAN’T WAIT CAN’T WAIT NOW CAN I HAVE IT NOW PLEASE?) Seems like 2012 will be a good one!