Fic: In Your Arms, Chapter 24
Title: In Your Arms
Rating: This chapter, PG-13
Pairing: Vam!
Summary: High school AU. A repressed Ville has had a crush on Bam for years, but the skater has never noticed him. However, when he does, Ville begins to break out of his confines with the skater’s help and Bam finally finds some stability in his life. But everybody knows things do not always go well.
Previous Chapters~ Here
-24
Mige looked on curiously as Ville froze on the spot, the smile melting from Ville’s paling face.
Dropping his spoon into the pudding bowl, Mige stood up to support his friend who looked like he was going to faint any second, but was stopped short when Ville held up a trembling hand and turned away from him, gripping the phone with whitened knuckles. Ville began to speak in rapid English, which Mige couldn’t understand except for a few words here and there, so he just stood there getting more and more frustrated by the minute as Ville’s voice started to become panicked and he had to lean against the counter for support because he’d gone so pale so quickly.
“Ville?” Mige asked softly when Ville placed the phone down with a trembling hand, his rigid back still facing Mige. “Ville, dude, are you okay?”
“Mige, I-” Ville tried before his voice broke, and suddenly his shoulders were shaking and he was making weird painful gasping noises that made Mige realise that he was crying. He jumped forward, calling out Ville’s name worriedly as Ville’s knees buckled and then gave out, and caught Ville before the other boy collapsed to the floor, lowering him gently to the floor by his small waist instead. “Ville, Ville, what’s wrong?” Mige tried to ask, but Ville just screwed his eyes shut and curled into himself, his grip tight on his own arms as he wept and paid Mige’s starting to panic words no attention.
“What happened?” Anette said worriedly as she entered the kitchen and saw the boys on the kitchen floor; Ville’s expression in a state of shock with tears running down his cheeks like he didn’t even know they were there, hunched over his stomach and gasping for air. Mige’s face just looked lost and worried, as if he had no idea what to do. Anette knelt down on the floor, reaching for Ville.
“Sweetie, god, what’s wrong?” She asked, and Ville just looked at her.
“I-” he said softly, before he abruptly melted into a panic, throwing himself up onto his feet again, his eyes wide and alarmed as Mige and Anette flinched back in surprise. “I need, oh hell, I need to get back, I need to get back!” He cried, putting his face into his hands and sobbing with shocked, rasping cries.
Anette stood with Mige, and tried to pull the distraught boy into a hug. Ville just pushed her away with shaking arms, still panicking.
“Need to go back where?” Anette asked, sharing a scared look with Mige.
“Back, back to Bam,” he sobbed, shaking his head desperately and clutching at his own wrists. “Back to America, I need to go back!”
Anette reached for him again, and this time Ville let her envelope him in a comforting embrace, burying his face into her neck as he gasped for breath and shook violently. “Shh, sweetie, calm down, you’re going to give yourself a heart attack,” she soothed, rubbing his back in little circles, “there we go…”
Ville hiccupped as his body slowly lost its tension, but he didn’t let go of the tight grip he had on her sides. Anette continued to hug him and gestured with one hand to a helpless looking Mige to pour Ville a glass of water. Then she slowly pushed Ville away from her to look him in the face, biting her lip when she saw desperate green eyes still filled with tears staring back at her.
“Okay then, how about we sit down and you can tell me why you need to go back to America, calmly,” she emphasized when it looked like he was about to break down again. At her words Ville just looked at her, quivering under her palms like a frightened and distressed animal before he took a deep breath, visibly holding back his emotions, then nodded and followed her to the kitchen table as he quickly wiped away the wetness on his cheeks with the heel of his hands.
Mige joined them after a few seconds, sitting next to Ville who was across from Anette, and handed the other Finnish boy the water. Ville smiled wobbly at him and muttered his thanks, taking a small sip and then placing it in front of him in favour of using his arms to hug himself as he began to shiver again. The burst of hysteria he’d just experienced had sapped a lot of energy from his already weak body and he was starting to feel like jelly- cold jelly. He looked up however when Mige placed a hand on his shoulder and gave the other boy a truer smile this time, getting a slightly scared but ultimately relieved one in return.
“Better now?” Anette asked softly, and Ville glanced away from Mige’s comforting face to her worried one and then back down to the wooden surface of the table. He nodded, hugging himself tighter.
“Good. Now how about you tell me what’s got you so wound up, yeah?” she smiled, trying to look reassuring and to give off an air of calmness, even if inside she was fighting off her own panicked motherly worry.
Ville bit his lip and flicked his eyes back up at her again, searching her face for any deceptiveness. All he found was concern for him in her expression, and a want to help, and he knew that Anette wouldn’t do anything to harm him. She wasn’t like his mother- she was kind and understanding.
“My boyfriend-” he started and then had to stop to clear his throat, his fingers digging into the flesh on his arms. It felt strange referring to Bam as his boyfriend, especially to other people, since the entire time Bam and he were together Ville never talked to any other person about his skater; he’d never really had anybody other than Bam to actually talk with.
“My boyfriend,” Ville tried again, closing his eyes to hold the tears at bay, “he’s in hospital. He’s- somebody attacked,” his voice stuttered over the word and he curled in on himself tighter, “him, tried to set him on fire, and he’s- they don’t know if he’ll ever wake up again. Oh god,” Ville whimpered, putting his face in his hands, feeling himself start to break down again.
This time it was Mige who pulled him into a warm supporting hug, and Ville easily went lax in his hold, his breathing speeding up again as he fought back the tears. He’d had enough of crying but Bam, his Bam was in hospital in a coma, half-dead and hurting with burns everywhere for god knows how long and Ville hadn’t known. He didn’t know what to do. He needed to get back to Bam, to hold him and kiss him, to curl his fingers in Bam’s messy hair and rest against him to feel his warmth, to feel Bam’s smooth skin against his own and breath the same air, to see if he was even alive.
Anette’s face fell as she saw Ville struggling with his emotions. She got up to kneel beside his chair and place a compassionate hand softly on his knee, feeling her heart break for him. “Did your mother find out about him? Is that why she sent you here?” She asked quietly.
Ville nodded against Mige’s shoulder wordlessly. Anette felt anger start to fester in her stomach at how Anita could do this to her son- yank him away from a person he so obviously loved just because of some stupid prejudice against what gender his lover was. She pushed the ugly feeling down though, knowing that this wasn’t the time to let her own feelings out. This was about Ville.
“Oh sweetie,” she murmured.
“It’s all my fault,” Ville croaked, “I was so stupid and I let mother take me and now Bam is-” he stopped himself, taking a deep breath. “I need to get back,” he said, looking down at her with pleading, grief-stricken eyes, “please, Anette, I need to get back to him. I love him and if he-” again, he stopped himself, not even wanting to say the words. “Please. I don’t have enough money to afford a ticket.”
Anette looked up at him, biting her lip, and then looked around her kitchen, at how worn out and tired it was, how cold and dark it felt without the warmth of a real family. It hadn’t had that for a long time- only at the start of her and Matti’s relationship had it ever felt right. Now she hardly knew her boyfriend when he came home from work at night, didn’t really know if she even loved him anymore. It would be so easy just to leave all of this behind her, to move on and make something of her life that wasn’t a part-time job at a fast food restaurant and a boyfriend who was only a few fights away from bruising her up.
“Okay,” she said, smiling up at Ville and seeing his expression brighten in a split second, the relief and desperate hope on his face that was almost painful to look at. “I’ll pay for you. But I’m coming too.” A new start, for both of them. That’s what they needed. She’d had money saved up for a while which she’d had no idea what to do with, only knowing that she may need it one day for something urgent. Now she knew.
“Thank you,” Ville cried softly, feeling a months worth of worry and stress start to dissipate as he leaned down and hugged her desperately, “thank you so much.”
-
“Well, I’m pretty sure he’s coming,” April said as she put the phone down and turned to her husband. “What?” She said innocently at his raised eyebrow.
Phil just shook his head. She’d made it sound far worse than it actually was (was that even possible? Their son was a step away from a life-threatening coma), but he understood why she’d done it. He probably would’ve done it too, just to ensure that the boy would really come. Served Ville a little right too, to worry a whole lot more about Bam being almost dead and mortally wounded in a hospital bed since he’d up and moved to Finland of all places and left Bam behind. Well, it wasn’t as if Bam wasn’t a step away from death, and Phil winced at the thought, but the whole mortally wounded thing… Well, did being unconscious for over a month with no apparent cause count?
“Well, it’ll take him at least a day to get here,” Phil sighed. April ran her hands through her hair, feeling like a day would be too long to wait. But at least she’d found him at last.
“Yeah, I think I’ll go sit with Bam and wait for Ville. I’ll go crazy if I miss him,” she said as she sat up, rubbing at her sore eyes.
“I’ll come too, until I have to go to work,” Phil smiled and pulled her down to place a small kiss on her lips. They were both worn out and stressed and trying not to show it for each other, but he knew that this was getting to both of them more and more. If Ville couldn’t wake Bam, he didn’t know what they’d do.
-
From then on it was a big rush to get to the airport. Anette had booked the earliest flight she could find over the phone, which was going to leave in three hours, and after that she and Ville had been packing like crazy. She’d also had to make arrangements about leaving the country as fast as she could, but had ended up calling her family to have them sort it out and also to say goodbye as they’d quickly run out of time.
Now Anette stood in her bedroom with her hastily packed luggage at her feet, looking around at the small room with sad eyes. Sighing, she looked down at the letter held lightly in her fingers and bit her lip, tracing the name written on the back of it softly. Even if their relationship had probably ended a long time ago and he’d turned into a sour, bitter bastard, Matti still deserved a goodbye, no matter how short it was. A piece of him would always be in her heart, in the form of happy, loving memories of a time when they first met and fell hopelessly, blindly in love.
Tears welled up in her eyes at the sudden ache in her chest and Anette took a deep, shaky breath, before putting the letter on Matti’s pillow. Then she left the room before she lost the confidence to do so.
Wheeling her luggage down the hallway, she stopped at the doorway to the lounge and smiled sorrowfully at the sight of Ville and Mige saying goodbye to each other. They had gotten to be such good friends and Anette knew that they’d miss each other dearly.
A loud beep from out on the street made Anette peak out the window and declare that the taxi was here. “Come on, Ville, we better go,” she said, picking up her things and slinging her handbag over her shoulder.
“Coming!” Ville called out, and bit his lip before turning back to his friend. “I guess this is farewell, Mige,” he said softly and leaned forward to kiss Mige on the cheek, his green eyes sad. “I’ll miss you, even your horrid fashion sense,” he smiled.
“Yeah. I’ll miss you too, Ville, even your bad habit of bumming cigs off me,” Mige smiled a bit wetly and placed a kiss in return on Ville’s cheek.
“Say goodbye to your Uncle for me too?” Ville asked as he picked up his meagre belongings from the floor, hesitating, not wanting to leave his closest friend behind in a country he didn’t think he’d ever come back to again.
Mige nodded, “Will do. See you again sometime?” He raised his eyebrows, grinning.
Ville grinned back and nodded. “I’ll be a fool not to know that your stink will ever go away,” he teased and Anette rolled her eyes fondly from the doorway.
“Ha!” Mige laughed and walked out of the house into the cool air with Ville. “That’s one way to put it,” he chuckled and ruffled Ville’s hair as Anette locked the door behind them, biting her lip before she slipped the key into her pocket.
“You’re an awesome friend, Mige,” Ville smiled, lips quivering slightly. “Look after yourself, okay?”
“I should be saying that to you, you depressed sourpuss,” Mige’s smile was equally wobbly as they hugged one last time and reluctantly parted, before Ville slid into the taxi after throwing his stuff into the boot along with Anette’s. He had to wind down the window though when Mige tapped on it, and blinked when Mige shoved something in his face.
“Here, take it,” Mige urged, and Ville plucked the thin braided bracelet out of his fingers and scrutinised it, turning it over in his palms.
“But your mother gave you this,” Ville said, wide-eyed, and Mige shrugged, grabbing Ville’s thin wrist and slipping the worn woven threads onto it. “Give it back to me when you see me again,” he grinned.
“I didn’t know you were so sentimental,” Ville teased, but muttered a thank you as they hugged through the window again, unwillingly parting, holding their hands together until the last possible moment.
“Goodbye, Mige. I’ll miss you too,” Anette said when they finally let go of each other. Mige smiled at her. “Bye, Anette. I’ll miss you and your fabulous cooking also.”
“Take care,” she said, rolling her eyes fondly at him, and Ville waved at him, the bracelet sliding down his arm, as the taxi pulled away from the sidewalk. He kept on waving until Mige’s form had disappeared from sight, but even then he continued looking back, already missing his friend.
-
Ville spent the wait for the plane worrying himself half to death about how Bam was fearing, even if Anette did her best to distract him. By the time he boarded the plane he was a tired, nervous wreck, jittering in his seat and hanging onto Mige’s bracelet like a lifeline as they took off, wanting desperately to light a cigarette but knowing that he couldn’t on a plane.
Anette placed a hand on Ville’s shoulder from next to him, causing Ville to flinch and then smile at her apologetically. “Sorry,” he muttered, “it’s just-”
“I understand,” she smiled softly, then tugged him down to rest his head on her shoulder, running her fingers through his silky hair soothingly. “You should rest, Ville. I don’t think Bam would like it if you came to him looking like a zombie.”
Ville blinked wonderingly, slightly stiff against her, before relaxing a bit and closing his eyes, breathing more slowly. He knew rationally that it would do no good worrying about Bam, but he couldn’t help it. An entire month had gone by and he’d just been sitting around while Bam had been in hospital, alone and severely injured, and he’d had no idea. What kind of boyfriend was he?
“I- I don’t think I can,” he whispered, shifting in the seat and trying not to purr as she ran her fingers through his hair. Was this what having a real mother felt like? “What if he- what if he never wakes up? What if he’s brain damaged and he can’t- what if he doesn’t remember me?” He choked out softly, not wanting for everybody in the plane to hear him.
“Shh,” she soothed. “I can’t answer that, Ville. But you got to have faith that everything will be okay, yeah?” Anette said, not only for him, but for herself also. She knew, especially after Matti, that believing everything will turn out fine wasn’t a realistic viewpoint, but Ville needed something reassuring to cling onto before he lost it completely, and Anette had to believe this new start for herself was the right thing to do.
“Yeah,” Ville murmured, biting his lip as he inhaled her comforting scent. Having faith in Bam was something he certainly could do. And on second thought, he was very tired, even if he’d had a full night of sleep just before. Planes always made him kind of drowsy though. He didn’t think he really could sleep, but he wanted to be rested and aware, for Bam. Anything for Bam.
After a few minutes of silence between them, both just listening to the sound of the engines and the quiet talk of the people around them, echoing oddly in the small space, Ville stirred a bit against her shoulder.
“Anette?” He whispered.
“Mmm?” She answered, starting to feel a bit drowsy herself.
“You didn’t have to do this for me. Any of this for me. You don’t know how grateful I am… I don’t know how I could possibly repay you, but… thank you.”
She smiled. “You’ve already said so already, Ville, but you’re welcome. Seeing you happy is payment enough,” Anette murmured, and she drifted off slowly into unconsciousness. But Ville’s heart was heavy and his fingers tight on the armrest, and even if Anette’s warmth was comforting against his side and the plane’s engine lulling, he remained wide-awake, staring at the back of the seat in front of him with eyes the showed every painful feeling he was experiencing inside.
-
Hours later, Anette was woken and Ville startled out of his trance by the pilot’s announcement that they were about to land. They fastened their seatbelts and Ville’s momentary calm instantly faded away as they landed. He was frantic as got off the plane and waited for their luggage, biting at his nails and shifting from foot to foot, looking haggard with deep bruises under his eyes, his skin almost translucently pale. This time Anette couldn’t soothe him, and she gave up trying after he’d snapped at her when she’d tried to talk him and then looked so guilty about it that it’d almost broken her heart all over again. She didn’t want to stress him out anymore than he already was, but it was hard as she hardly spoke any English and needed him to communicate for her, and him so strung out wasn’t helping anybody. She’d improved on the language though, so she could at least make herself understood if not very eloquently.
Ville lit a cigarette at first opportunity, breathing in the smoke and feeling the nicotine cool his jittering nerves even if Anette gave him the evil eye as they waited for a free taxi outside the airport. She hadn’t been happy when he’d started to smoke, far from it in fact, and they’d had a talk about everything bad it could do to him with Anette’s expression painfully let down and Ville’s agonisingly half awkward, half guilty, but by then he’d already begun relying on them to calm himself down and hadn’t really been able to stop. She’d let him smoke, saying it was his choice and she couldn’t really do anything about it, but he’d been forbidden to do it in the house.
“Ah! Here we go, finally,’ Anette muttered in Finnish as she managed to grab a taxi and started to pile their three bags in, two of which were hers and one lone one Ville’s. She slid into the front seat while Ville sat in the back, ignoring the driver’s glare at his smoking cigarette, and gave the man instructions to go to the local hospital as quickly as he could. Even if the nicotine soothed him, Ville continued to jitter, gnawing at his cigarette and frowning worriedly out the window at the passing traffic, feeling his stomach twist itself into nervous, agonisingly anxious knots as he dug his fingernails into his thigh to ground himself and ran his hands continuously through his hair.
“I’m sure everything will be fine, Ville,” Anette smiled at him over her shoulder, dragging her eyes away from the window to comfort her surrogate son. America just looked and felt so much different than Finland that she wanted to take everything in at once, but Ville was more important than her curiosity. She had all the time in the world to explore after she’d gotten him to Bam’s side. “You’ll be with him soon, sweetie.”
Ville just smiled weakly at her in return, lighting up another smoke with a shaking hand when he finished his first, wanting to believe her but knowing that Bam might never wake again. His chest constricted at the thought and he dug his fingers into his leg even harder, inhaling a large breath of smoke and screwing his eyes shut tight. Please, my Bammie, my angel, please be all right, he pleaded.
It seemed like hours before they arrived outside the hospital, and Ville almost threw himself out of the taxi before it’d even come to a stop, dropping his cigarette onto the sidewalk carelessly as he walked as fast as he could towards the big glass doors without running. Anette tumbled after him, telling the disgruntled driver in broken, heavily accented English that he should wait for them and she’d pay him after as she slammed the door shut. He hopefully understood her and wouldn’t make away with their luggage, as she had no time to spell it out slowly for him as Ville had already disappeared into the big building and was quickly vanishing from her sight.
Swearing lightly to herself, Anette brushed her blonde hair out of her face as she jogged lightly into the hospital to catch up with her ward, making a face at the distinct smell of disinfectant trying to cover up other less desirable odours that washed over her as she glanced around the large and sparsely decorated lobby and headed over to Ville who was waiting impatiently at the reception desk. She slung her handbag over her shoulder as she made her way to his side just as the older lady who looked more suitable to be a librarian looked up from typing something into her computer and pinned a fidgeting Ville with a look.
“Yes?” She asked in a stern tone. Her nametag read Claudia, pinned to her light blue and black uniform, but Ville didn’t feel comfortable calling her by her first name. She was too scary for that. Usually he would be overly polite and quiet unconfident around such a person, but he had no time to be self-conscious at the moment. He didn’t really care actually; all he wanted was to get to Bam as quickly as possible.
“I need Bam- Brandon Margera’s room number… please,” he added when she continued to look at him like he wasn’t fit for her to wipe her shoe on. He tapped his fingers on the desk and jiggled his leg anxiously when she went back to her computer, biting his lip as he glanced at the lift, which a blonde woman had just walked out of like he could make a dash for it and search for Bam room by room. At least it would feel like he was doing something instead of just waiting for this old lady to type slowly on her keyboard like she had something better to do. Anette’s calming hand on his shoulder repressed the illogical and rash desire though, and he glanced thankfully at her for her comfort. He was going to have to do something really, really colossally nice for her later.
“Name?” Claudia looked at him over her glasses as if he was the bane of her existence. He didn’t look that bad, did he?
“Um, Ville Valo,” he said and tried to lean over the desk to see what she was frowning at on the screen. She pinned him with another look and he backed off quickly, but not without giving her a half distressed half annoyed look in return before glancing again at the lift. Would she just hurry up already? He wanted to get to Bam now.
She looked over her glasses at him again. “I’m sorry,” she didn’t sound it, “but you’re not on the approved list to visit the patient.”
Ville’s heart fell into his boots and he didn’t know if he was going to break down and cry or throw a gigantic fit of anger and desperation. He figured a little bit of both. “Wh-what?” He stuttered, swallowing with his suddenly dry throat, trying to lean over the counter again to see her screen. “You don’t understand. I need to see him. His parents rang me and-”
“I’m sorry,” she interrupted. “There’s nothing I can do.”
Anette looked at the suddenly devastated and helpless expression on Ville’s face and frowned at the lady with all the intimidation and anger she could muster. “Now you-” She started but another voice over took hers.
“It’s alright,” the blonde woman who had walked out of the lift just before walked up to the counter and smiled tiredly. “I’ll take them up. I’m Brandon’s mother, April Margera.”
Claudia eyed her and then a startled looking Ville and Anette dubiously before huffing. “Fine. If that’s what you want,” she sniffed and went back to typing, ignoring them studiously.
April rolled her eyes at the woman before turning to Ville and looking him over, raising one eyebrow. The boy looked a lot different than in the video Bam had filmed that she’d peeked at- more gothic, and a lot less… happy. More tired and worn around the edges, with red-rimmed eyes and pallid skin. He looked as if he’d gotten no recent sleep and had been crying. It was easy to see how she’d mistaken him for a girl though at first- he was very beautiful with his large green eyes, high cheekbones, wavy brown hair and full lips. He was also taller than she’d thought.
“You must be Bam’s… boyfriend, Ville,” April said hesitantly, unsure of how to greet him. She’d spotted him as she’d gotten off the elevator, heading for the cafeteria for some lunch, and she’d had a brief moment when she’d considered just leaving him to be turned away by the bitchy receptionist, but she’d quickly banished the notion. Bam’s welfare came first before her pride.
April had no idea who the woman standing next to him was either- mother, maybe? She could see no resemblance however, even if there was clear affection between them by the way he leaned into her hand on his arm.
“Woah!” She exclaimed softly, taking a step back in surprise when the boy walked forward and gave her a sudden, heartfelt hug around the middle, squeezing her gently. “Thank you so, so much for calling me,” he said, and by the quality of his accented voice April could tell that he’d been crying, that he was on the verge of doing so again, but there was so much relief and emotion in his words that she blinked a bit, taken a back. “I had no idea and never would’ve known and I just-” he choked out.
“Um,” April muttered, and patted him awkwardly on the back, frowning a little when she realised just how thin he was and how he trembled weakly in her arms. Somebody needed to give this boy a proper meal. “You’re welcome?”
He sniffed and withdrew from her, blushing a bit in embarrassment and April almost wanted to coo at how adorable he was, but she wasn’t ready to let him into her heart just yet. He looked so run down though, and as April continued to look at him she realised that Ville looked like he was on his last ropes. Maybe he has been suffering like Bam too, she thought to herself, only in a completely different way. But she quickly dismissed the thought.
“How is Bam? Is he, is he alright?” He asked, green eyes wide and anxious, “can I see him, please?”
April smiled weakly at him, refusing to get her hopes up even if she did wish with everything she had that he’d be able to get at least a reaction out of Bam. “Sure.”
-Chapter 25
A/N: I’m terrible, aren’t I? Well, at least Ville is back in America, and April doesn’t abhor the sight of him, yes? :D *sigh* Not my greatest chapter to tell the truth, more of a filler, but it had to be done. Ville and Bam back together next chapter though so yay! <3 \o/ :3 But will it turn out well and what about Darren? :O
Comments are <3!
Rating: This chapter, PG-13
Pairing: Vam!
Summary: High school AU. A repressed Ville has had a crush on Bam for years, but the skater has never noticed him. However, when he does, Ville begins to break out of his confines with the skater’s help and Bam finally finds some stability in his life. But everybody knows things do not always go well.
Previous Chapters~ Here
-24
Mige looked on curiously as Ville froze on the spot, the smile melting from Ville’s paling face.
Dropping his spoon into the pudding bowl, Mige stood up to support his friend who looked like he was going to faint any second, but was stopped short when Ville held up a trembling hand and turned away from him, gripping the phone with whitened knuckles. Ville began to speak in rapid English, which Mige couldn’t understand except for a few words here and there, so he just stood there getting more and more frustrated by the minute as Ville’s voice started to become panicked and he had to lean against the counter for support because he’d gone so pale so quickly.
“Ville?” Mige asked softly when Ville placed the phone down with a trembling hand, his rigid back still facing Mige. “Ville, dude, are you okay?”
“Mige, I-” Ville tried before his voice broke, and suddenly his shoulders were shaking and he was making weird painful gasping noises that made Mige realise that he was crying. He jumped forward, calling out Ville’s name worriedly as Ville’s knees buckled and then gave out, and caught Ville before the other boy collapsed to the floor, lowering him gently to the floor by his small waist instead. “Ville, Ville, what’s wrong?” Mige tried to ask, but Ville just screwed his eyes shut and curled into himself, his grip tight on his own arms as he wept and paid Mige’s starting to panic words no attention.
“What happened?” Anette said worriedly as she entered the kitchen and saw the boys on the kitchen floor; Ville’s expression in a state of shock with tears running down his cheeks like he didn’t even know they were there, hunched over his stomach and gasping for air. Mige’s face just looked lost and worried, as if he had no idea what to do. Anette knelt down on the floor, reaching for Ville.
“Sweetie, god, what’s wrong?” She asked, and Ville just looked at her.
“I-” he said softly, before he abruptly melted into a panic, throwing himself up onto his feet again, his eyes wide and alarmed as Mige and Anette flinched back in surprise. “I need, oh hell, I need to get back, I need to get back!” He cried, putting his face into his hands and sobbing with shocked, rasping cries.
Anette stood with Mige, and tried to pull the distraught boy into a hug. Ville just pushed her away with shaking arms, still panicking.
“Need to go back where?” Anette asked, sharing a scared look with Mige.
“Back, back to Bam,” he sobbed, shaking his head desperately and clutching at his own wrists. “Back to America, I need to go back!”
Anette reached for him again, and this time Ville let her envelope him in a comforting embrace, burying his face into her neck as he gasped for breath and shook violently. “Shh, sweetie, calm down, you’re going to give yourself a heart attack,” she soothed, rubbing his back in little circles, “there we go…”
Ville hiccupped as his body slowly lost its tension, but he didn’t let go of the tight grip he had on her sides. Anette continued to hug him and gestured with one hand to a helpless looking Mige to pour Ville a glass of water. Then she slowly pushed Ville away from her to look him in the face, biting her lip when she saw desperate green eyes still filled with tears staring back at her.
“Okay then, how about we sit down and you can tell me why you need to go back to America, calmly,” she emphasized when it looked like he was about to break down again. At her words Ville just looked at her, quivering under her palms like a frightened and distressed animal before he took a deep breath, visibly holding back his emotions, then nodded and followed her to the kitchen table as he quickly wiped away the wetness on his cheeks with the heel of his hands.
Mige joined them after a few seconds, sitting next to Ville who was across from Anette, and handed the other Finnish boy the water. Ville smiled wobbly at him and muttered his thanks, taking a small sip and then placing it in front of him in favour of using his arms to hug himself as he began to shiver again. The burst of hysteria he’d just experienced had sapped a lot of energy from his already weak body and he was starting to feel like jelly- cold jelly. He looked up however when Mige placed a hand on his shoulder and gave the other boy a truer smile this time, getting a slightly scared but ultimately relieved one in return.
“Better now?” Anette asked softly, and Ville glanced away from Mige’s comforting face to her worried one and then back down to the wooden surface of the table. He nodded, hugging himself tighter.
“Good. Now how about you tell me what’s got you so wound up, yeah?” she smiled, trying to look reassuring and to give off an air of calmness, even if inside she was fighting off her own panicked motherly worry.
Ville bit his lip and flicked his eyes back up at her again, searching her face for any deceptiveness. All he found was concern for him in her expression, and a want to help, and he knew that Anette wouldn’t do anything to harm him. She wasn’t like his mother- she was kind and understanding.
“My boyfriend-” he started and then had to stop to clear his throat, his fingers digging into the flesh on his arms. It felt strange referring to Bam as his boyfriend, especially to other people, since the entire time Bam and he were together Ville never talked to any other person about his skater; he’d never really had anybody other than Bam to actually talk with.
“My boyfriend,” Ville tried again, closing his eyes to hold the tears at bay, “he’s in hospital. He’s- somebody attacked,” his voice stuttered over the word and he curled in on himself tighter, “him, tried to set him on fire, and he’s- they don’t know if he’ll ever wake up again. Oh god,” Ville whimpered, putting his face in his hands, feeling himself start to break down again.
This time it was Mige who pulled him into a warm supporting hug, and Ville easily went lax in his hold, his breathing speeding up again as he fought back the tears. He’d had enough of crying but Bam, his Bam was in hospital in a coma, half-dead and hurting with burns everywhere for god knows how long and Ville hadn’t known. He didn’t know what to do. He needed to get back to Bam, to hold him and kiss him, to curl his fingers in Bam’s messy hair and rest against him to feel his warmth, to feel Bam’s smooth skin against his own and breath the same air, to see if he was even alive.
Anette’s face fell as she saw Ville struggling with his emotions. She got up to kneel beside his chair and place a compassionate hand softly on his knee, feeling her heart break for him. “Did your mother find out about him? Is that why she sent you here?” She asked quietly.
Ville nodded against Mige’s shoulder wordlessly. Anette felt anger start to fester in her stomach at how Anita could do this to her son- yank him away from a person he so obviously loved just because of some stupid prejudice against what gender his lover was. She pushed the ugly feeling down though, knowing that this wasn’t the time to let her own feelings out. This was about Ville.
“Oh sweetie,” she murmured.
“It’s all my fault,” Ville croaked, “I was so stupid and I let mother take me and now Bam is-” he stopped himself, taking a deep breath. “I need to get back,” he said, looking down at her with pleading, grief-stricken eyes, “please, Anette, I need to get back to him. I love him and if he-” again, he stopped himself, not even wanting to say the words. “Please. I don’t have enough money to afford a ticket.”
Anette looked up at him, biting her lip, and then looked around her kitchen, at how worn out and tired it was, how cold and dark it felt without the warmth of a real family. It hadn’t had that for a long time- only at the start of her and Matti’s relationship had it ever felt right. Now she hardly knew her boyfriend when he came home from work at night, didn’t really know if she even loved him anymore. It would be so easy just to leave all of this behind her, to move on and make something of her life that wasn’t a part-time job at a fast food restaurant and a boyfriend who was only a few fights away from bruising her up.
“Okay,” she said, smiling up at Ville and seeing his expression brighten in a split second, the relief and desperate hope on his face that was almost painful to look at. “I’ll pay for you. But I’m coming too.” A new start, for both of them. That’s what they needed. She’d had money saved up for a while which she’d had no idea what to do with, only knowing that she may need it one day for something urgent. Now she knew.
“Thank you,” Ville cried softly, feeling a months worth of worry and stress start to dissipate as he leaned down and hugged her desperately, “thank you so much.”
-
“Well, I’m pretty sure he’s coming,” April said as she put the phone down and turned to her husband. “What?” She said innocently at his raised eyebrow.
Phil just shook his head. She’d made it sound far worse than it actually was (was that even possible? Their son was a step away from a life-threatening coma), but he understood why she’d done it. He probably would’ve done it too, just to ensure that the boy would really come. Served Ville a little right too, to worry a whole lot more about Bam being almost dead and mortally wounded in a hospital bed since he’d up and moved to Finland of all places and left Bam behind. Well, it wasn’t as if Bam wasn’t a step away from death, and Phil winced at the thought, but the whole mortally wounded thing… Well, did being unconscious for over a month with no apparent cause count?
“Well, it’ll take him at least a day to get here,” Phil sighed. April ran her hands through her hair, feeling like a day would be too long to wait. But at least she’d found him at last.
“Yeah, I think I’ll go sit with Bam and wait for Ville. I’ll go crazy if I miss him,” she said as she sat up, rubbing at her sore eyes.
“I’ll come too, until I have to go to work,” Phil smiled and pulled her down to place a small kiss on her lips. They were both worn out and stressed and trying not to show it for each other, but he knew that this was getting to both of them more and more. If Ville couldn’t wake Bam, he didn’t know what they’d do.
-
From then on it was a big rush to get to the airport. Anette had booked the earliest flight she could find over the phone, which was going to leave in three hours, and after that she and Ville had been packing like crazy. She’d also had to make arrangements about leaving the country as fast as she could, but had ended up calling her family to have them sort it out and also to say goodbye as they’d quickly run out of time.
Now Anette stood in her bedroom with her hastily packed luggage at her feet, looking around at the small room with sad eyes. Sighing, she looked down at the letter held lightly in her fingers and bit her lip, tracing the name written on the back of it softly. Even if their relationship had probably ended a long time ago and he’d turned into a sour, bitter bastard, Matti still deserved a goodbye, no matter how short it was. A piece of him would always be in her heart, in the form of happy, loving memories of a time when they first met and fell hopelessly, blindly in love.
Tears welled up in her eyes at the sudden ache in her chest and Anette took a deep, shaky breath, before putting the letter on Matti’s pillow. Then she left the room before she lost the confidence to do so.
Wheeling her luggage down the hallway, she stopped at the doorway to the lounge and smiled sorrowfully at the sight of Ville and Mige saying goodbye to each other. They had gotten to be such good friends and Anette knew that they’d miss each other dearly.
A loud beep from out on the street made Anette peak out the window and declare that the taxi was here. “Come on, Ville, we better go,” she said, picking up her things and slinging her handbag over her shoulder.
“Coming!” Ville called out, and bit his lip before turning back to his friend. “I guess this is farewell, Mige,” he said softly and leaned forward to kiss Mige on the cheek, his green eyes sad. “I’ll miss you, even your horrid fashion sense,” he smiled.
“Yeah. I’ll miss you too, Ville, even your bad habit of bumming cigs off me,” Mige smiled a bit wetly and placed a kiss in return on Ville’s cheek.
“Say goodbye to your Uncle for me too?” Ville asked as he picked up his meagre belongings from the floor, hesitating, not wanting to leave his closest friend behind in a country he didn’t think he’d ever come back to again.
Mige nodded, “Will do. See you again sometime?” He raised his eyebrows, grinning.
Ville grinned back and nodded. “I’ll be a fool not to know that your stink will ever go away,” he teased and Anette rolled her eyes fondly from the doorway.
“Ha!” Mige laughed and walked out of the house into the cool air with Ville. “That’s one way to put it,” he chuckled and ruffled Ville’s hair as Anette locked the door behind them, biting her lip before she slipped the key into her pocket.
“You’re an awesome friend, Mige,” Ville smiled, lips quivering slightly. “Look after yourself, okay?”
“I should be saying that to you, you depressed sourpuss,” Mige’s smile was equally wobbly as they hugged one last time and reluctantly parted, before Ville slid into the taxi after throwing his stuff into the boot along with Anette’s. He had to wind down the window though when Mige tapped on it, and blinked when Mige shoved something in his face.
“Here, take it,” Mige urged, and Ville plucked the thin braided bracelet out of his fingers and scrutinised it, turning it over in his palms.
“But your mother gave you this,” Ville said, wide-eyed, and Mige shrugged, grabbing Ville’s thin wrist and slipping the worn woven threads onto it. “Give it back to me when you see me again,” he grinned.
“I didn’t know you were so sentimental,” Ville teased, but muttered a thank you as they hugged through the window again, unwillingly parting, holding their hands together until the last possible moment.
“Goodbye, Mige. I’ll miss you too,” Anette said when they finally let go of each other. Mige smiled at her. “Bye, Anette. I’ll miss you and your fabulous cooking also.”
“Take care,” she said, rolling her eyes fondly at him, and Ville waved at him, the bracelet sliding down his arm, as the taxi pulled away from the sidewalk. He kept on waving until Mige’s form had disappeared from sight, but even then he continued looking back, already missing his friend.
-
Ville spent the wait for the plane worrying himself half to death about how Bam was fearing, even if Anette did her best to distract him. By the time he boarded the plane he was a tired, nervous wreck, jittering in his seat and hanging onto Mige’s bracelet like a lifeline as they took off, wanting desperately to light a cigarette but knowing that he couldn’t on a plane.
Anette placed a hand on Ville’s shoulder from next to him, causing Ville to flinch and then smile at her apologetically. “Sorry,” he muttered, “it’s just-”
“I understand,” she smiled softly, then tugged him down to rest his head on her shoulder, running her fingers through his silky hair soothingly. “You should rest, Ville. I don’t think Bam would like it if you came to him looking like a zombie.”
Ville blinked wonderingly, slightly stiff against her, before relaxing a bit and closing his eyes, breathing more slowly. He knew rationally that it would do no good worrying about Bam, but he couldn’t help it. An entire month had gone by and he’d just been sitting around while Bam had been in hospital, alone and severely injured, and he’d had no idea. What kind of boyfriend was he?
“I- I don’t think I can,” he whispered, shifting in the seat and trying not to purr as she ran her fingers through his hair. Was this what having a real mother felt like? “What if he- what if he never wakes up? What if he’s brain damaged and he can’t- what if he doesn’t remember me?” He choked out softly, not wanting for everybody in the plane to hear him.
“Shh,” she soothed. “I can’t answer that, Ville. But you got to have faith that everything will be okay, yeah?” Anette said, not only for him, but for herself also. She knew, especially after Matti, that believing everything will turn out fine wasn’t a realistic viewpoint, but Ville needed something reassuring to cling onto before he lost it completely, and Anette had to believe this new start for herself was the right thing to do.
“Yeah,” Ville murmured, biting his lip as he inhaled her comforting scent. Having faith in Bam was something he certainly could do. And on second thought, he was very tired, even if he’d had a full night of sleep just before. Planes always made him kind of drowsy though. He didn’t think he really could sleep, but he wanted to be rested and aware, for Bam. Anything for Bam.
After a few minutes of silence between them, both just listening to the sound of the engines and the quiet talk of the people around them, echoing oddly in the small space, Ville stirred a bit against her shoulder.
“Anette?” He whispered.
“Mmm?” She answered, starting to feel a bit drowsy herself.
“You didn’t have to do this for me. Any of this for me. You don’t know how grateful I am… I don’t know how I could possibly repay you, but… thank you.”
She smiled. “You’ve already said so already, Ville, but you’re welcome. Seeing you happy is payment enough,” Anette murmured, and she drifted off slowly into unconsciousness. But Ville’s heart was heavy and his fingers tight on the armrest, and even if Anette’s warmth was comforting against his side and the plane’s engine lulling, he remained wide-awake, staring at the back of the seat in front of him with eyes the showed every painful feeling he was experiencing inside.
-
Hours later, Anette was woken and Ville startled out of his trance by the pilot’s announcement that they were about to land. They fastened their seatbelts and Ville’s momentary calm instantly faded away as they landed. He was frantic as got off the plane and waited for their luggage, biting at his nails and shifting from foot to foot, looking haggard with deep bruises under his eyes, his skin almost translucently pale. This time Anette couldn’t soothe him, and she gave up trying after he’d snapped at her when she’d tried to talk him and then looked so guilty about it that it’d almost broken her heart all over again. She didn’t want to stress him out anymore than he already was, but it was hard as she hardly spoke any English and needed him to communicate for her, and him so strung out wasn’t helping anybody. She’d improved on the language though, so she could at least make herself understood if not very eloquently.
Ville lit a cigarette at first opportunity, breathing in the smoke and feeling the nicotine cool his jittering nerves even if Anette gave him the evil eye as they waited for a free taxi outside the airport. She hadn’t been happy when he’d started to smoke, far from it in fact, and they’d had a talk about everything bad it could do to him with Anette’s expression painfully let down and Ville’s agonisingly half awkward, half guilty, but by then he’d already begun relying on them to calm himself down and hadn’t really been able to stop. She’d let him smoke, saying it was his choice and she couldn’t really do anything about it, but he’d been forbidden to do it in the house.
“Ah! Here we go, finally,’ Anette muttered in Finnish as she managed to grab a taxi and started to pile their three bags in, two of which were hers and one lone one Ville’s. She slid into the front seat while Ville sat in the back, ignoring the driver’s glare at his smoking cigarette, and gave the man instructions to go to the local hospital as quickly as he could. Even if the nicotine soothed him, Ville continued to jitter, gnawing at his cigarette and frowning worriedly out the window at the passing traffic, feeling his stomach twist itself into nervous, agonisingly anxious knots as he dug his fingernails into his thigh to ground himself and ran his hands continuously through his hair.
“I’m sure everything will be fine, Ville,” Anette smiled at him over her shoulder, dragging her eyes away from the window to comfort her surrogate son. America just looked and felt so much different than Finland that she wanted to take everything in at once, but Ville was more important than her curiosity. She had all the time in the world to explore after she’d gotten him to Bam’s side. “You’ll be with him soon, sweetie.”
Ville just smiled weakly at her in return, lighting up another smoke with a shaking hand when he finished his first, wanting to believe her but knowing that Bam might never wake again. His chest constricted at the thought and he dug his fingers into his leg even harder, inhaling a large breath of smoke and screwing his eyes shut tight. Please, my Bammie, my angel, please be all right, he pleaded.
It seemed like hours before they arrived outside the hospital, and Ville almost threw himself out of the taxi before it’d even come to a stop, dropping his cigarette onto the sidewalk carelessly as he walked as fast as he could towards the big glass doors without running. Anette tumbled after him, telling the disgruntled driver in broken, heavily accented English that he should wait for them and she’d pay him after as she slammed the door shut. He hopefully understood her and wouldn’t make away with their luggage, as she had no time to spell it out slowly for him as Ville had already disappeared into the big building and was quickly vanishing from her sight.
Swearing lightly to herself, Anette brushed her blonde hair out of her face as she jogged lightly into the hospital to catch up with her ward, making a face at the distinct smell of disinfectant trying to cover up other less desirable odours that washed over her as she glanced around the large and sparsely decorated lobby and headed over to Ville who was waiting impatiently at the reception desk. She slung her handbag over her shoulder as she made her way to his side just as the older lady who looked more suitable to be a librarian looked up from typing something into her computer and pinned a fidgeting Ville with a look.
“Yes?” She asked in a stern tone. Her nametag read Claudia, pinned to her light blue and black uniform, but Ville didn’t feel comfortable calling her by her first name. She was too scary for that. Usually he would be overly polite and quiet unconfident around such a person, but he had no time to be self-conscious at the moment. He didn’t really care actually; all he wanted was to get to Bam as quickly as possible.
“I need Bam- Brandon Margera’s room number… please,” he added when she continued to look at him like he wasn’t fit for her to wipe her shoe on. He tapped his fingers on the desk and jiggled his leg anxiously when she went back to her computer, biting his lip as he glanced at the lift, which a blonde woman had just walked out of like he could make a dash for it and search for Bam room by room. At least it would feel like he was doing something instead of just waiting for this old lady to type slowly on her keyboard like she had something better to do. Anette’s calming hand on his shoulder repressed the illogical and rash desire though, and he glanced thankfully at her for her comfort. He was going to have to do something really, really colossally nice for her later.
“Name?” Claudia looked at him over her glasses as if he was the bane of her existence. He didn’t look that bad, did he?
“Um, Ville Valo,” he said and tried to lean over the desk to see what she was frowning at on the screen. She pinned him with another look and he backed off quickly, but not without giving her a half distressed half annoyed look in return before glancing again at the lift. Would she just hurry up already? He wanted to get to Bam now.
She looked over her glasses at him again. “I’m sorry,” she didn’t sound it, “but you’re not on the approved list to visit the patient.”
Ville’s heart fell into his boots and he didn’t know if he was going to break down and cry or throw a gigantic fit of anger and desperation. He figured a little bit of both. “Wh-what?” He stuttered, swallowing with his suddenly dry throat, trying to lean over the counter again to see her screen. “You don’t understand. I need to see him. His parents rang me and-”
“I’m sorry,” she interrupted. “There’s nothing I can do.”
Anette looked at the suddenly devastated and helpless expression on Ville’s face and frowned at the lady with all the intimidation and anger she could muster. “Now you-” She started but another voice over took hers.
“It’s alright,” the blonde woman who had walked out of the lift just before walked up to the counter and smiled tiredly. “I’ll take them up. I’m Brandon’s mother, April Margera.”
Claudia eyed her and then a startled looking Ville and Anette dubiously before huffing. “Fine. If that’s what you want,” she sniffed and went back to typing, ignoring them studiously.
April rolled her eyes at the woman before turning to Ville and looking him over, raising one eyebrow. The boy looked a lot different than in the video Bam had filmed that she’d peeked at- more gothic, and a lot less… happy. More tired and worn around the edges, with red-rimmed eyes and pallid skin. He looked as if he’d gotten no recent sleep and had been crying. It was easy to see how she’d mistaken him for a girl though at first- he was very beautiful with his large green eyes, high cheekbones, wavy brown hair and full lips. He was also taller than she’d thought.
“You must be Bam’s… boyfriend, Ville,” April said hesitantly, unsure of how to greet him. She’d spotted him as she’d gotten off the elevator, heading for the cafeteria for some lunch, and she’d had a brief moment when she’d considered just leaving him to be turned away by the bitchy receptionist, but she’d quickly banished the notion. Bam’s welfare came first before her pride.
April had no idea who the woman standing next to him was either- mother, maybe? She could see no resemblance however, even if there was clear affection between them by the way he leaned into her hand on his arm.
“Woah!” She exclaimed softly, taking a step back in surprise when the boy walked forward and gave her a sudden, heartfelt hug around the middle, squeezing her gently. “Thank you so, so much for calling me,” he said, and by the quality of his accented voice April could tell that he’d been crying, that he was on the verge of doing so again, but there was so much relief and emotion in his words that she blinked a bit, taken a back. “I had no idea and never would’ve known and I just-” he choked out.
“Um,” April muttered, and patted him awkwardly on the back, frowning a little when she realised just how thin he was and how he trembled weakly in her arms. Somebody needed to give this boy a proper meal. “You’re welcome?”
He sniffed and withdrew from her, blushing a bit in embarrassment and April almost wanted to coo at how adorable he was, but she wasn’t ready to let him into her heart just yet. He looked so run down though, and as April continued to look at him she realised that Ville looked like he was on his last ropes. Maybe he has been suffering like Bam too, she thought to herself, only in a completely different way. But she quickly dismissed the thought.
“How is Bam? Is he, is he alright?” He asked, green eyes wide and anxious, “can I see him, please?”
April smiled weakly at him, refusing to get her hopes up even if she did wish with everything she had that he’d be able to get at least a reaction out of Bam. “Sure.”
-Chapter 25
A/N: I’m terrible, aren’t I? Well, at least Ville is back in America, and April doesn’t abhor the sight of him, yes? :D *sigh* Not my greatest chapter to tell the truth, more of a filler, but it had to be done. Ville and Bam back together next chapter though so yay! <3 \o/ :3 But will it turn out well and what about Darren? :O
Comments are <3!