cadence (from blogspot)
some days just feel perfect...
about a week ago, ryan told me that he liked the way i wrote, and that i should write more. i smiled, and said "really?" because the extent of my writing anymore is just comments to people's facebook walls and last minute post-it notes to my roommate.
but he said he liked the cadence and the way that i write and that i should get a blog. and since i take everything that ryan says way too seriously.... i made a blog. and just a blog. and even if no one else reads it... i'm still getting my thoughts and feelings out there. so here goes.
ahem.
the past couple months have been a roller coaster. i feel like things in my life are going either really well or really bad. there is no in-between. and so that's how i've been - super happy, or super down on myself or down about life.
but, the past couple weeks, some things have happened and i will document them here on my maiden voyage here on blogspot.. in hopes that when life seems to get the best of me, i can look back at my first entry and think "life ain't so bad".
this past month i've felt more alone than ever before. natalie flying back home to england made me realize just how good of friends we were and just how much i missed having a positive, wonderful person in my life. which, upon discussing with ryan, i haven't really had since college. and as happy as i am to have known natalie and to have her in my life so much... i'm really struggling with feeling alone since she's left. and only in the past 2 weeks or so have i tried to figure out why i've been separating myself from people and why i won't let myself get as close to others as i (accidently) got close to natalie...
the past couple weeks, i feel like God is testing me and slowly taking care of me. and it's not in my timing, at all, of course, but His.
recently i discovered that my parents had a CD account for me that was about to mature. it had just over $4,000. and although that's not an incredibly large amount of money (especially as a banker, since i know how loaded i know people in this area are...) it is more than enough for me to pay off the various debts i had in my life. rent. car payment (completely paid down to zero! and 3 months early) cell phone, friends i owed money to, layaway at my old job... etc. and i finally have enough money to get my tooth pulled and even some extra to go to the doctor as well. and still have some leftover to save. and i know money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure as heck helps since i've been getting back on my feet financially.
i've been making it a point to cook or bake a couple times a week. and as my friend amy pointed out, it's funny that now us, as twenty-somethings, have to come home from work to cook and clean and turn into semi-adults. when i'm in my domesticasey mode... i feel accomplished and so adult and happy. and i'm going to make it a point to cook for friends and neighbors at least once a week.
and basically the best thing of all... is ryan. him and i have been working through some pretty crazy stuff lately. but that smile on his face when we see each other cancels out all the other crap that's going on.
next month it'll be 5 years for us. that's like 5x the longest relationship i've ever been in. and as cliche as it sounds, we're way more in love now than we were 5 years ago. he's the most beautiful person i've ever known.
so... driving home from work today, in the glorious, almost-spring weather, eager to get home to my ryan and my georgia, windows down and blasting the new cd that urban burned for me... not having to worry about money (or at least for this month...) ... life really just felt perfect.
the end.
about a week ago, ryan told me that he liked the way i wrote, and that i should write more. i smiled, and said "really?" because the extent of my writing anymore is just comments to people's facebook walls and last minute post-it notes to my roommate.
but he said he liked the cadence and the way that i write and that i should get a blog. and since i take everything that ryan says way too seriously.... i made a blog. and just a blog. and even if no one else reads it... i'm still getting my thoughts and feelings out there. so here goes.
ahem.
the past couple months have been a roller coaster. i feel like things in my life are going either really well or really bad. there is no in-between. and so that's how i've been - super happy, or super down on myself or down about life.
but, the past couple weeks, some things have happened and i will document them here on my maiden voyage here on blogspot.. in hopes that when life seems to get the best of me, i can look back at my first entry and think "life ain't so bad".
this past month i've felt more alone than ever before. natalie flying back home to england made me realize just how good of friends we were and just how much i missed having a positive, wonderful person in my life. which, upon discussing with ryan, i haven't really had since college. and as happy as i am to have known natalie and to have her in my life so much... i'm really struggling with feeling alone since she's left. and only in the past 2 weeks or so have i tried to figure out why i've been separating myself from people and why i won't let myself get as close to others as i (accidently) got close to natalie...
the past couple weeks, i feel like God is testing me and slowly taking care of me. and it's not in my timing, at all, of course, but His.
recently i discovered that my parents had a CD account for me that was about to mature. it had just over $4,000. and although that's not an incredibly large amount of money (especially as a banker, since i know how loaded i know people in this area are...) it is more than enough for me to pay off the various debts i had in my life. rent. car payment (completely paid down to zero! and 3 months early) cell phone, friends i owed money to, layaway at my old job... etc. and i finally have enough money to get my tooth pulled and even some extra to go to the doctor as well. and still have some leftover to save. and i know money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure as heck helps since i've been getting back on my feet financially.
i've been making it a point to cook or bake a couple times a week. and as my friend amy pointed out, it's funny that now us, as twenty-somethings, have to come home from work to cook and clean and turn into semi-adults. when i'm in my domesticasey mode... i feel accomplished and so adult and happy. and i'm going to make it a point to cook for friends and neighbors at least once a week.
and basically the best thing of all... is ryan. him and i have been working through some pretty crazy stuff lately. but that smile on his face when we see each other cancels out all the other crap that's going on.
next month it'll be 5 years for us. that's like 5x the longest relationship i've ever been in. and as cliche as it sounds, we're way more in love now than we were 5 years ago. he's the most beautiful person i've ever known.
so... driving home from work today, in the glorious, almost-spring weather, eager to get home to my ryan and my georgia, windows down and blasting the new cd that urban burned for me... not having to worry about money (or at least for this month...) ... life really just felt perfect.
the end.