the most crappy day of vaca.. EVER
last nite was way too much emotion for me to handle. lately andre and i have been kinda weird.. and last nite he did the unexpected. at about 11:30 we talked and he broke up with me.. college is stressful, senior year is stressful.. i get that part but on the other hand i just dont get it. i dont understnad why, and i bet i probably never will. it just sucks, i just finished eating dinner with my family and everytime my dad or mom asked me about it i just started crying. i dont even know how to control my emotions. it was only a month long relationship so i shouldnt be this upset right?! its just hard cuz the one person i used to go to to make my tears go away was andre.. now its almost like i dont want him to see me cry... im ashamed that he made me this upset.. im sad that he wants it to be over when i was just starting to understand him and feel SO comfortable with him. this sucks, relationships suck..
today i went and saw emm at my aunts house and told her my situation, then i left and went down to the beach for a bit to think and gather myself before seeing andre. i went to the theater and it was almost like last nite never happened. both of us trying to avoid it, trying to not touch upon the idea so neither of us would break down into tears.. when i had to go we walked outside, i opened my door and unlike the usual gbyes we didnt kiss, we didnt hug, we didnt hold hands as we walked.. he just said "cya around" got into his car and then drove off beeping his horn ..ive been an emotional train wreck since then because thats when it hit me that its over... theres no more cuddling, no more cute little kisses gbye.. and i wish there was something.. anything i could say to make him change his mind and want us to be "US" again.. ugh i give up. i need to talk to him but i wouldnt even know what to say if i did.
i still love you andre.. but i cant handle this. i cant handle my uncontrolable crying or my random outburst of tears.. please make the sadness stop.. please?!
today i went and saw emm at my aunts house and told her my situation, then i left and went down to the beach for a bit to think and gather myself before seeing andre. i went to the theater and it was almost like last nite never happened. both of us trying to avoid it, trying to not touch upon the idea so neither of us would break down into tears.. when i had to go we walked outside, i opened my door and unlike the usual gbyes we didnt kiss, we didnt hug, we didnt hold hands as we walked.. he just said "cya around" got into his car and then drove off beeping his horn ..ive been an emotional train wreck since then because thats when it hit me that its over... theres no more cuddling, no more cute little kisses gbye.. and i wish there was something.. anything i could say to make him change his mind and want us to be "US" again.. ugh i give up. i need to talk to him but i wouldnt even know what to say if i did.
i still love you andre.. but i cant handle this. i cant handle my uncontrolable crying or my random outburst of tears.. please make the sadness stop.. please?!