Winds of Vesperia
The war has been dragging on for three years. The queen is succumbing to the demon within her. So when she sends Our Heroes (tm) on a special diplomatic mission to the 4th Tier, we should all recall the wise words of Admiral Ackbar, "It's a trap!" Oh, well. At least we're all level 13 now.
[Recall that with the unveiling of Dawnstrider's sword, Vita Devoratrix realized that the lost soul must be somewhere in Vesperia.]
Kyn the GM: "Vita's looking, but he can't find the soul yet."
Charles: (as Vita) "I had it right here! Where did I put it?!"
[Jass visits with everyone's favorite heel-turn catfolk.]
Bast: "You do know I'm only fucking with your head, right?"
Jass: "It's the only fucking I'm getting now."
Bast: "You could come in here."
[It's good to have faith in your own abilities. Or at least to make other people think you do.]
Jass: "You know I always have an ace up my sleeve."
Bast: "Not this time."
Jass: "That's what they said about the king."
[More of the same.]
Bast: "You can't trick me with your bravado."
Jass: "It's not bravado if I believe it."
[Meanwhile, Lucius has been setting up his special order of good-willed associates.]
Kyn the GM: (to Charles) "You supersede the city guards. You're the Feds."
Pat: (bitterly) "Great -- they give it to the paladin, the one person who won't abuse it."
[Also meanwhile, Sela has been persuaded to send volunteers to Phalaborwa to establish a colony.]
Julie: "Does the colony have a name?"
Charles: "Name: we're screwed. Population: us."
[Kyn the GM continues to go around the table.]
Pat: "Do you want to hear what I've been doing, or do you have things for me?"
Kyn the GM: "Tell me what you think you've been doing."
[Garrett's lover Merrayn blames DAX for Garrett's death and has sworn to kill him after her ritual year of mourning.]
DAX: (to Jass) "Usually you're the one who has problems with women."
[Merrayn has joined forces with the orcs and hobgoblins who are now on the 3rd Tier.]
DAX: "You should exile her from your country."
Sela: "...There's a reason I didn't ask you to be one of my advisors."
[As the session begins in earnest, T'ainesa brings us all together for a conference.]
Queen T'ainesa: "I know some of you have other responsibilities."
DAX: "I got nothin'."
Queen T'ainesa: "That's why I said 'some of you.'"
[In the three years of downtime, Duke Calayon has been quite close to Clara.]
Queen T'ainesa: "Rumors are spreading about the Duke of Galandreth."
DAX: "I don't think they're rumors."
Queen T'ainesa: "...Yes. I know."
[Queen T'ainesa asks us to go down to De Aar -- who have been demanding onerous reparations -- to intercede on her behalf. Not everyone is eager to take the trip.]
Jass: (to Lucius) "If your heart tells you to stay, I won't make you come."
Julie: "The GM will make you come."
Kyn the GM: "I prefer it when the players do my dirty work for me."
[We set sail for De Aar.]
Kyn the GM: "Clara wanted to come."
Jass: (suggestively) "If she wanted to come, she should have stayed with the Duke!"
Kyn the GM: "Put him back on a ship, and he becomes a pirate again."
[After we've been flying down the funnel to De Aar for a while...]
Kyn the GM: "Therrion made a bet."
Julie: "Oh, God..."
[Therrion's bet.]
Therrion: "We're jumping out."
Sela: "We are, are we? Why would we do that? We have a perfectly good ship to fly in. You have a perfectly good berth."
Therrion: "Some of the sailors don't think we'd do it."
Sela: "That's because we're not going to do it!"
[Therrion ultimately convinces a very, very reluctant Sela to do this foolish maneuver one more time. Of course, things are different once they actually start to dive.]
Therrion: "Why are we doing this?! I have a perfectly good berth!"
[On the topic of Therrion...]
Kyn the GM: "The sailors never call him anything except 'Your Majesty.'"
Sailor: "I have a niece. And when she was a wee lass, I would visit, give her lots of candy, and leave. It was a blast. We're all having a blast now!"
Sela: (dryly) "I've noticed."
[Ultimately we reach our destination. Sorta.]
Tony: *rolls 47 on piloting*
Kyn the GM: "You do manage to shave off a week from the trip! That changes what's gonna attack you!"
[We emerge from the funnel.]
Sailor: "We did it!"
Jass: "Why are you surprised? ...Who doubted?! Get the boo box!"
[Yes, it turns out that we have emerged into a nascent Athos ambush.]
Tony: "I'm yelling at DAX. DAX is yelling at the crew. Welcome to Esmeralda's job."
[In front of us: three Athos frigates with 20 stars each. Things begin with one of our engines getting shot at and disabled.]
Kyn the GM: "You guys are lucky the ship of the line isn't here."
[Things pick up as Lucius and DAX take to the guns and manage to disable or destroy two of the frigates.]
Kyn the GM: (surprised) "Wow, you guys may escape my trap!"
[The Esmeralda's Revenge takes a lot of damage.]
Kyn the GM: "You're not faking anymore. The ship is tilting."
[The Athos stars land on the Esmeralda's Revenge and start engaging in close combat.]
Athos Stars: *fail to hit DAX*
DAX: *tightens grip on his ax*
Athos Stars: *step back*
DAX: "You just pissed me off."
[Just when things seem to be at their worst, a pirate ship emerges, seemingly from nowhere.]
Pirate Ship: "Prepare for friendly boarding."
Jass: "I wish I could put quotes in semaphore: 'Friendly?'"
[As the battle finally draws to a close...]
Kyn the GM: "Your poor, poor Esmeralda's Revenge..."
[The captain of the pirate ship is a man named Atreum, who has made a big name for himself in the last five years as the sort of guy you really don't want to mess with.]
Kyn the GM: "His reputation is that of, 'I have something up my sleeve. You don't know what it is, but it'll blow you up.'"
Tony: "So we see eye to eye, me and this guy."
[Captain Atreum demands the Esmeralda's Revenge, and in exchange he will let us live. Jass offers a counter-proposal.]
Jass: "I'll give you the Citadel."
Captain Atreum: "No one can take on the Citadel."
Jass: "I've heard a lot of 'no one can do's, and I've done a lot of those things."
[Sela walks into the conversation. Recall that the Hutts are currently using Phalaborwa as one of their bases of operations.]
Captain Atreum: "The Hutts have a price on your head."
Sela: "I'm not surprised."
Captain Atreum: "It's very large."
Sela: "Still not surprised."
[The not-quite-negotiations continue.]
Captain Atreum: "I can kill you, or I can take your ship."
DAX: "You'd be surprised how often we hear that."
[When good plans go bad.]
Jass: "You'd probably like an antidote to the poison you just drank in your wine."
Captain Atreum: "Rakshasa. We're immune to poison."
[We agree to give up the ship. In exchange, Atreum will turn us over to the Hutts.]
Lucius: "Don't worry about us -- pity the Hutts."
[Sela manages to contact Jericho before the official surrender and let him know what's going on. He agrees to come immediately. For certain definitions of immediately.]
Sela: "I have people coming in a month."
Jass: "Then let's survive that long."
Sela: "Let's."
[At the surrender, the pirate first mate demands all our magical items. He begins with Lucius, who refuses to surrender Dawnstrider's sworn on the reasoning that it is not his to give. The pirates, in exchange, prepare to start executing Jass' crew.]
Kyn the GM: "What are you doing?"
Charles: "Well, he wants the Dawnstrider sword..."
[Combat ensues.]
Kyn the GM: "Captain's turn. So many spells, so little time..."
We stopped right in the middle of a scene, so join us next time for the thrilling conclusion!
[Recall that with the unveiling of Dawnstrider's sword, Vita Devoratrix realized that the lost soul must be somewhere in Vesperia.]
Kyn the GM: "Vita's looking, but he can't find the soul yet."
Charles: (as Vita) "I had it right here! Where did I put it?!"
[Jass visits with everyone's favorite heel-turn catfolk.]
Bast: "You do know I'm only fucking with your head, right?"
Jass: "It's the only fucking I'm getting now."
Bast: "You could come in here."
[It's good to have faith in your own abilities. Or at least to make other people think you do.]
Jass: "You know I always have an ace up my sleeve."
Bast: "Not this time."
Jass: "That's what they said about the king."
[More of the same.]
Bast: "You can't trick me with your bravado."
Jass: "It's not bravado if I believe it."
[Meanwhile, Lucius has been setting up his special order of good-willed associates.]
Kyn the GM: (to Charles) "You supersede the city guards. You're the Feds."
Pat: (bitterly) "Great -- they give it to the paladin, the one person who won't abuse it."
[Also meanwhile, Sela has been persuaded to send volunteers to Phalaborwa to establish a colony.]
Julie: "Does the colony have a name?"
Charles: "Name: we're screwed. Population: us."
[Kyn the GM continues to go around the table.]
Pat: "Do you want to hear what I've been doing, or do you have things for me?"
Kyn the GM: "Tell me what you think you've been doing."
[Garrett's lover Merrayn blames DAX for Garrett's death and has sworn to kill him after her ritual year of mourning.]
DAX: (to Jass) "Usually you're the one who has problems with women."
[Merrayn has joined forces with the orcs and hobgoblins who are now on the 3rd Tier.]
DAX: "You should exile her from your country."
Sela: "...There's a reason I didn't ask you to be one of my advisors."
[As the session begins in earnest, T'ainesa brings us all together for a conference.]
Queen T'ainesa: "I know some of you have other responsibilities."
DAX: "I got nothin'."
Queen T'ainesa: "That's why I said 'some of you.'"
[In the three years of downtime, Duke Calayon has been quite close to Clara.]
Queen T'ainesa: "Rumors are spreading about the Duke of Galandreth."
DAX: "I don't think they're rumors."
Queen T'ainesa: "...Yes. I know."
[Queen T'ainesa asks us to go down to De Aar -- who have been demanding onerous reparations -- to intercede on her behalf. Not everyone is eager to take the trip.]
Jass: (to Lucius) "If your heart tells you to stay, I won't make you come."
Julie: "The GM will make you come."
Kyn the GM: "I prefer it when the players do my dirty work for me."
[We set sail for De Aar.]
Kyn the GM: "Clara wanted to come."
Jass: (suggestively) "If she wanted to come, she should have stayed with the Duke!"
Kyn the GM: "Put him back on a ship, and he becomes a pirate again."
[After we've been flying down the funnel to De Aar for a while...]
Kyn the GM: "Therrion made a bet."
Julie: "Oh, God..."
[Therrion's bet.]
Therrion: "We're jumping out."
Sela: "We are, are we? Why would we do that? We have a perfectly good ship to fly in. You have a perfectly good berth."
Therrion: "Some of the sailors don't think we'd do it."
Sela: "That's because we're not going to do it!"
[Therrion ultimately convinces a very, very reluctant Sela to do this foolish maneuver one more time. Of course, things are different once they actually start to dive.]
Therrion: "Why are we doing this?! I have a perfectly good berth!"
[On the topic of Therrion...]
Kyn the GM: "The sailors never call him anything except 'Your Majesty.'"
Sailor: "I have a niece. And when she was a wee lass, I would visit, give her lots of candy, and leave. It was a blast. We're all having a blast now!"
Sela: (dryly) "I've noticed."
[Ultimately we reach our destination. Sorta.]
Tony: *rolls 47 on piloting*
Kyn the GM: "You do manage to shave off a week from the trip! That changes what's gonna attack you!"
[We emerge from the funnel.]
Sailor: "We did it!"
Jass: "Why are you surprised? ...Who doubted?! Get the boo box!"
[Yes, it turns out that we have emerged into a nascent Athos ambush.]
Tony: "I'm yelling at DAX. DAX is yelling at the crew. Welcome to Esmeralda's job."
[In front of us: three Athos frigates with 20 stars each. Things begin with one of our engines getting shot at and disabled.]
Kyn the GM: "You guys are lucky the ship of the line isn't here."
[Things pick up as Lucius and DAX take to the guns and manage to disable or destroy two of the frigates.]
Kyn the GM: (surprised) "Wow, you guys may escape my trap!"
[The Esmeralda's Revenge takes a lot of damage.]
Kyn the GM: "You're not faking anymore. The ship is tilting."
[The Athos stars land on the Esmeralda's Revenge and start engaging in close combat.]
Athos Stars: *fail to hit DAX*
DAX: *tightens grip on his ax*
Athos Stars: *step back*
DAX: "You just pissed me off."
[Just when things seem to be at their worst, a pirate ship emerges, seemingly from nowhere.]
Pirate Ship: "Prepare for friendly boarding."
Jass: "I wish I could put quotes in semaphore: 'Friendly?'"
[As the battle finally draws to a close...]
Kyn the GM: "Your poor, poor Esmeralda's Revenge..."
[The captain of the pirate ship is a man named Atreum, who has made a big name for himself in the last five years as the sort of guy you really don't want to mess with.]
Kyn the GM: "His reputation is that of, 'I have something up my sleeve. You don't know what it is, but it'll blow you up.'"
Tony: "So we see eye to eye, me and this guy."
[Captain Atreum demands the Esmeralda's Revenge, and in exchange he will let us live. Jass offers a counter-proposal.]
Jass: "I'll give you the Citadel."
Captain Atreum: "No one can take on the Citadel."
Jass: "I've heard a lot of 'no one can do's, and I've done a lot of those things."
[Sela walks into the conversation. Recall that the Hutts are currently using Phalaborwa as one of their bases of operations.]
Captain Atreum: "The Hutts have a price on your head."
Sela: "I'm not surprised."
Captain Atreum: "It's very large."
Sela: "Still not surprised."
[The not-quite-negotiations continue.]
Captain Atreum: "I can kill you, or I can take your ship."
DAX: "You'd be surprised how often we hear that."
[When good plans go bad.]
Jass: "You'd probably like an antidote to the poison you just drank in your wine."
Captain Atreum: "Rakshasa. We're immune to poison."
[We agree to give up the ship. In exchange, Atreum will turn us over to the Hutts.]
Lucius: "Don't worry about us -- pity the Hutts."
[Sela manages to contact Jericho before the official surrender and let him know what's going on. He agrees to come immediately. For certain definitions of immediately.]
Sela: "I have people coming in a month."
Jass: "Then let's survive that long."
Sela: "Let's."
[At the surrender, the pirate first mate demands all our magical items. He begins with Lucius, who refuses to surrender Dawnstrider's sworn on the reasoning that it is not his to give. The pirates, in exchange, prepare to start executing Jass' crew.]
Kyn the GM: "What are you doing?"
Charles: "Well, he wants the Dawnstrider sword..."
[Combat ensues.]
Kyn the GM: "Captain's turn. So many spells, so little time..."
We stopped right in the middle of a scene, so join us next time for the thrilling conclusion!