what a shitty night.
This was hands down the the worst night of the summer. There was nothing good that happened tonight, just a whole lot of miserable occurrences, stringed one after the other, and then just the culmination which left me forced to spring down west front to my car before i completely lost all control.
Even before that, I was very perplexed by the entire night. I felt like a grown man for the first time. I saw so many children walk by, and then people my age, and then older people, who I just felt like were older adults, as though I were just a younger adult.
That wouldn't have been so bad, except for the fact that I felt like an alien among people I've known for years, and then the marines had to show up and make that blatantly obvious in case I hadn't been sure yet.
I didn't know those people. Maybe I just don't know me. There's something BIG that I'm failing to recognize here. Everything is different. I'm not. I'm just an adult version of the child I was yesterday, but I feel like that's still a difference. And everyone I was around seemed like adults too, just different adults. Adults I'd pass on the street and I'd know immediately that those are not people I'd be friends with.
Then conversing on the corner at Broad street made me just wanna vanish for a good half hour until I realized that it wasn't going to happen and if I didn't do some vanishing on my own, I would have starting cutting myself.
I'm overreacting. I've always been one to do that. I don't care. I don't see want to see anyone right now, but who knows what I'll feel tomorrow. Likely the same though.
I'm driving so fucking far tonight.
Even before that, I was very perplexed by the entire night. I felt like a grown man for the first time. I saw so many children walk by, and then people my age, and then older people, who I just felt like were older adults, as though I were just a younger adult.
That wouldn't have been so bad, except for the fact that I felt like an alien among people I've known for years, and then the marines had to show up and make that blatantly obvious in case I hadn't been sure yet.
I didn't know those people. Maybe I just don't know me. There's something BIG that I'm failing to recognize here. Everything is different. I'm not. I'm just an adult version of the child I was yesterday, but I feel like that's still a difference. And everyone I was around seemed like adults too, just different adults. Adults I'd pass on the street and I'd know immediately that those are not people I'd be friends with.
Then conversing on the corner at Broad street made me just wanna vanish for a good half hour until I realized that it wasn't going to happen and if I didn't do some vanishing on my own, I would have starting cutting myself.
I'm overreacting. I've always been one to do that. I don't care. I don't see want to see anyone right now, but who knows what I'll feel tomorrow. Likely the same though.
I'm driving so fucking far tonight.