Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End
Yeah, there’s no way I can talk about this movie without spoilers. This entire review is going to be cut. And just so you know, you’re probably going to see some of these jokes again. So, if you only want to do this once, you might want to wait.
So, I would make a pretty terrible pirate, guys. I do not consider myself a grudge-holding person, but even I am more capable of staying angry with someone than the people in this movie. And I have never even been killed or betrayed to the East India Trading Company. I was surprised in DMC at how little characters seemed to respond to the increased assholishness of other characters, but wow. This time, Barbossa and Elizabeth are walking away with Will, who’s all, “No hard feelings, then?” and they’re all, “Nah. It was your turn.” Even Calypso, who not two scenes before wanted to crush all the Pirate Lords, loses interest in mass, goddess level destruction when reminded that Davy is around. It’s like no one can even keep track of who is stabbing whom in the back anymore, so they’ve all decided to just let it go.
Honor among thieves may be a myth, but at least there’s short-term memory loss.
And despite these inauspicious opening paragraphs, I really liked At World’s End. I’ve said, time and time again, that I’m better with the negatives than the positives, but that’s only because the negatives are funnier.
THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME
1. They didn’t use the same four jokes from CotBP and DMC over and over again in AWE. Thank god.
2. Elizabeth is not my favorite character, possibly because she’s the writers’ favorite character, but I really liked her in AWE. She was pretty impressive: doing what must be done, and taking charge with confidence. I’m glad she’s grown into a strong main character. I know some people have issues with the final scene, but I found it pretty open-ended. 10 years is a long time to skip over. Use your imagination to fill it.
3. Will found his brain! Yay! And he totally owned his jackassery, which sent him up several notches in my estimation. The noblest guy in the room of pirates is going to be the one who says, “I’m not stabbing you in the back. Clearly, this is your front.” Will’s spine is the reason he came out so coolly in his tearoom confrontation with Capt. Invertebrate-For-A-Head.
4. Which isn’t to say that I don’t like Davy Jones, because he also deserves a spot on this list. I really felt bad for both him and Calypso at the end, especially since they were robbed of their resolution. Well, I’m assuming they were. I’m not quite sure of the cosmology of this universe.
5. Speaking of Tia Dalma/Calypso: Rock on, ancient queen.
6. And finally, saving the best for last: Barbossa. A few people, I think, deeply disliked the end of DMC, but I was ecstatic. I wasn’t quite sure why, since he wasn’t my favorite thing from CotBP, but I sensed it was the start of something truly awesome. And I was right, because he stole every scene he was in. The Jack vs. Barbossa rivalry made up some of the funniest scenes, and the marriage would not have been nearly as entertaining if Jack had performed it (no offence). I am a little sad that he seemed to have depleted his supply of apples making cobbler for everyone at Tia Dalma’s, though.
AND NOW FOR SOME THINGS NOT QUITE AS AWESOME
1. I don’t really think there was enough Jack in the movie, despite there being several Jacks. I’m not quite sure how you can have both a surfeit and a deficit at the same time, but this movie pulled it off. I was also disappointed that there wasn’t more forthcoming information about his past with Beckett.
2. Norrington continues to bother me, but for entirely new and exciting reasons. It’s like this: he had a character arc in CotBP, and then a whole new one in DMC. And then they were both scrapped in favor of the classic “will do anything for Elizabeth” characterization. Look, I knew he had to die because that’s just what ones does to redeem oneself, but dude has had two not entirely contiguous character arcs! Couldn’t we use one of them?
3. The vast amounts of extraneous information and characters. Hey, we’ve got an entire Armada and the ships of the nine Pirate Lords all lined up in a climactic battle scene and prepared to do…NOTHING. Calypso was also sadly underused. Okay, a maelstrom, but did it really contribute anything to plot? No? Just to the inflated special effects budget?
4. The death of Gov. Swann. Delivering plot devices in the boats of dead guys. Tsk, tsk. For shame.
See? More positives than negatives. Told you I liked it.
So, I would make a pretty terrible pirate, guys. I do not consider myself a grudge-holding person, but even I am more capable of staying angry with someone than the people in this movie. And I have never even been killed or betrayed to the East India Trading Company. I was surprised in DMC at how little characters seemed to respond to the increased assholishness of other characters, but wow. This time, Barbossa and Elizabeth are walking away with Will, who’s all, “No hard feelings, then?” and they’re all, “Nah. It was your turn.” Even Calypso, who not two scenes before wanted to crush all the Pirate Lords, loses interest in mass, goddess level destruction when reminded that Davy is around. It’s like no one can even keep track of who is stabbing whom in the back anymore, so they’ve all decided to just let it go.
Honor among thieves may be a myth, but at least there’s short-term memory loss.
And despite these inauspicious opening paragraphs, I really liked At World’s End. I’ve said, time and time again, that I’m better with the negatives than the positives, but that’s only because the negatives are funnier.
THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME
1. They didn’t use the same four jokes from CotBP and DMC over and over again in AWE. Thank god.
2. Elizabeth is not my favorite character, possibly because she’s the writers’ favorite character, but I really liked her in AWE. She was pretty impressive: doing what must be done, and taking charge with confidence. I’m glad she’s grown into a strong main character. I know some people have issues with the final scene, but I found it pretty open-ended. 10 years is a long time to skip over. Use your imagination to fill it.
3. Will found his brain! Yay! And he totally owned his jackassery, which sent him up several notches in my estimation. The noblest guy in the room of pirates is going to be the one who says, “I’m not stabbing you in the back. Clearly, this is your front.” Will’s spine is the reason he came out so coolly in his tearoom confrontation with Capt. Invertebrate-For-A-Head.
4. Which isn’t to say that I don’t like Davy Jones, because he also deserves a spot on this list. I really felt bad for both him and Calypso at the end, especially since they were robbed of their resolution. Well, I’m assuming they were. I’m not quite sure of the cosmology of this universe.
5. Speaking of Tia Dalma/Calypso: Rock on, ancient queen.
6. And finally, saving the best for last: Barbossa. A few people, I think, deeply disliked the end of DMC, but I was ecstatic. I wasn’t quite sure why, since he wasn’t my favorite thing from CotBP, but I sensed it was the start of something truly awesome. And I was right, because he stole every scene he was in. The Jack vs. Barbossa rivalry made up some of the funniest scenes, and the marriage would not have been nearly as entertaining if Jack had performed it (no offence). I am a little sad that he seemed to have depleted his supply of apples making cobbler for everyone at Tia Dalma’s, though.
AND NOW FOR SOME THINGS NOT QUITE AS AWESOME
1. I don’t really think there was enough Jack in the movie, despite there being several Jacks. I’m not quite sure how you can have both a surfeit and a deficit at the same time, but this movie pulled it off. I was also disappointed that there wasn’t more forthcoming information about his past with Beckett.
2. Norrington continues to bother me, but for entirely new and exciting reasons. It’s like this: he had a character arc in CotBP, and then a whole new one in DMC. And then they were both scrapped in favor of the classic “will do anything for Elizabeth” characterization. Look, I knew he had to die because that’s just what ones does to redeem oneself, but dude has had two not entirely contiguous character arcs! Couldn’t we use one of them?
3. The vast amounts of extraneous information and characters. Hey, we’ve got an entire Armada and the ships of the nine Pirate Lords all lined up in a climactic battle scene and prepared to do…NOTHING. Calypso was also sadly underused. Okay, a maelstrom, but did it really contribute anything to plot? No? Just to the inflated special effects budget?
4. The death of Gov. Swann. Delivering plot devices in the boats of dead guys. Tsk, tsk. For shame.
See? More positives than negatives. Told you I liked it.