Movies!
It's been a long time since I've done one of these, mostly because a) I haven't had time to see movies, and b) movies have been mostly made of suck recently. If there are any movies not here that you think are going to be good, let me know. If you think any are goint to be real stinkers, seriously, let me know. I don't want to see bad movies.
Movies I Am Definitely Going to See
X-Men: The Last Stand (May 26): Despite reservations about the director, the multitude of subplots and the increasingly stupid titles, I am still excited to see the third movie in my favorite comic-based series.
The Alibi (June): Supposedly in the style late 30s detective movies, the main character Ray runs an alibi service for people looking to get away from their loved ones until a client strangles someone. Now the police, the family, and a variety of people with inventive names are hunting him and His Girl Friday.
Superman Returns (June 30): I’m a sucker for comic book movies, and there’s no bigger hero than Superman.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (July 7): I wasn’t really pulled in by the trailer, but the original cast and director is back, so let’s once again see how well Gore Verbinski can control Jerry Bruckheimer’s compulsion to blow shit up.
A Scanner Darkly (July 7): Based on a Philip K. Dick story? All right. Really neat looking, stylized, rotoscope animation? Count me in. Keanau Reeves? Okay, maybe not a plus, but maybe they can draw some expressions on him.
Lady in the Water (July 21): Since we’re getting the twist before the movie even starts, I don’t expect to be disappointed, and will just enjoy M. Night Shyamalan’s storytelling, which remains exceptional.
Movies I Could Be Convinced to See:
The Da Vinci Code (May 19): I really hate Dan Brown, though not necessarily for this book. (Don’t ever read Deception Point. It sucks on ice.) I really don’t want to see the movie (mostly because Tom Hanks looks incredibly freaky in it), but I know that I’m going to anyway. It’s inevitable.
An Inconvenient Truth (May 24): Probably the scariest biography ever, as this movie follows Al Gore’s environmentalist career and the covers the predictions of climate change specialists. Most likely to be taken with a grain of salt, like all politically motivated movies, but probably very informative as well.
The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green (June 16): Nothing like a movie about someone who’s love life is worse than yours to perk you up.
Click (June 23): I’m not an Adam Sandler fan, but this doesn’t look like his usual fare, and it may be interesting to see how the film works itself out.
The Devil Wears Prada (June 30): Never read the book because it’s not my type, but the movie could be entertaining especially if the dialogue is good. Because the small town girl with a difficult boss in the big city storyline is kind of tired.
My Super Ex-Girlfriend (July 21): Here’s a hint: never dump a superhero or heroine. Bad. Plan.
John Tucker Must Die (July 28): Girls dumped by the local stud set him up with another girl so they can break his heart. Will probably suck, but the title is enough to interest me.
Miami Vice (July 28): I’ll go see this if it gets me a Twin Peaks movie.
Little Miss Sunshine (July 28): Dysfunctional family takes road trip to a children’s beauty pageant.
Movies I Would Not See If I Was Paid:
An American Haunting (May 5): I don’t usually see horror movies at all, but even if I did, this has the least frightening preview ever. I swear, I was bored by the three minute teaser.
Hoot (May 5): Oh, Lord. We’ve come full circle back to the preachy environmentalist kids movies of the early 90s (re: Fern Gully).
Mission Impossible III (May 5): Even if I didn’t think Tom Cruise was crazier than party balloons in a stucco-ceiling-ed house, after the disappointment of number two, I wouldn’t be seeing this.
Poseidon (May 12): This was just remade into a TV movie. Why exactly are we remaking it again for the big screen?
Over the Hedge (May 19): Preview looks awful; most children’s movies are awful; but it’s probably better than The Wild.
The Omen (June 6): Are we utterly incapable of inventing new things that scare us? And, no, releasing this movie on 6/6/06 does not make one clever.
Cars (June 9): What’s this? A Pixar movie I totally don’t need to see? Maybe The Omen is right, and the End of Times is upon us.
Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties (June 16): We’ve gotten to the point that our creative well is so dry that we are creating sequels to movies that didn’t even do that well just to fill the calendar.
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (June 16): See? SEE?!
Pulse (July 14): Stop remaking Japanese horror movies! Think of your own stupid shit!
Romeo and Juliet: Sealed with Kiss (July 19): *Jaw drops* Romeo and Juliet with SEALS. Might be so horrible that I’ll have to see it.
ETA: SNAKES ON A MUTHA&$%^@# PLANE IS NOT ELIGIBLE AS IT IS OUT IN AUGUST!
Movies I Am Definitely Going to See
X-Men: The Last Stand (May 26): Despite reservations about the director, the multitude of subplots and the increasingly stupid titles, I am still excited to see the third movie in my favorite comic-based series.
The Alibi (June): Supposedly in the style late 30s detective movies, the main character Ray runs an alibi service for people looking to get away from their loved ones until a client strangles someone. Now the police, the family, and a variety of people with inventive names are hunting him and His Girl Friday.
Superman Returns (June 30): I’m a sucker for comic book movies, and there’s no bigger hero than Superman.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (July 7): I wasn’t really pulled in by the trailer, but the original cast and director is back, so let’s once again see how well Gore Verbinski can control Jerry Bruckheimer’s compulsion to blow shit up.
A Scanner Darkly (July 7): Based on a Philip K. Dick story? All right. Really neat looking, stylized, rotoscope animation? Count me in. Keanau Reeves? Okay, maybe not a plus, but maybe they can draw some expressions on him.
Lady in the Water (July 21): Since we’re getting the twist before the movie even starts, I don’t expect to be disappointed, and will just enjoy M. Night Shyamalan’s storytelling, which remains exceptional.
Movies I Could Be Convinced to See:
The Da Vinci Code (May 19): I really hate Dan Brown, though not necessarily for this book. (Don’t ever read Deception Point. It sucks on ice.) I really don’t want to see the movie (mostly because Tom Hanks looks incredibly freaky in it), but I know that I’m going to anyway. It’s inevitable.
An Inconvenient Truth (May 24): Probably the scariest biography ever, as this movie follows Al Gore’s environmentalist career and the covers the predictions of climate change specialists. Most likely to be taken with a grain of salt, like all politically motivated movies, but probably very informative as well.
The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green (June 16): Nothing like a movie about someone who’s love life is worse than yours to perk you up.
Click (June 23): I’m not an Adam Sandler fan, but this doesn’t look like his usual fare, and it may be interesting to see how the film works itself out.
The Devil Wears Prada (June 30): Never read the book because it’s not my type, but the movie could be entertaining especially if the dialogue is good. Because the small town girl with a difficult boss in the big city storyline is kind of tired.
My Super Ex-Girlfriend (July 21): Here’s a hint: never dump a superhero or heroine. Bad. Plan.
John Tucker Must Die (July 28): Girls dumped by the local stud set him up with another girl so they can break his heart. Will probably suck, but the title is enough to interest me.
Miami Vice (July 28): I’ll go see this if it gets me a Twin Peaks movie.
Little Miss Sunshine (July 28): Dysfunctional family takes road trip to a children’s beauty pageant.
Movies I Would Not See If I Was Paid:
An American Haunting (May 5): I don’t usually see horror movies at all, but even if I did, this has the least frightening preview ever. I swear, I was bored by the three minute teaser.
Hoot (May 5): Oh, Lord. We’ve come full circle back to the preachy environmentalist kids movies of the early 90s (re: Fern Gully).
Mission Impossible III (May 5): Even if I didn’t think Tom Cruise was crazier than party balloons in a stucco-ceiling-ed house, after the disappointment of number two, I wouldn’t be seeing this.
Poseidon (May 12): This was just remade into a TV movie. Why exactly are we remaking it again for the big screen?
Over the Hedge (May 19): Preview looks awful; most children’s movies are awful; but it’s probably better than The Wild.
The Omen (June 6): Are we utterly incapable of inventing new things that scare us? And, no, releasing this movie on 6/6/06 does not make one clever.
Cars (June 9): What’s this? A Pixar movie I totally don’t need to see? Maybe The Omen is right, and the End of Times is upon us.
Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties (June 16): We’ve gotten to the point that our creative well is so dry that we are creating sequels to movies that didn’t even do that well just to fill the calendar.
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (June 16): See? SEE?!
Pulse (July 14): Stop remaking Japanese horror movies! Think of your own stupid shit!
Romeo and Juliet: Sealed with Kiss (July 19): *Jaw drops* Romeo and Juliet with SEALS. Might be so horrible that I’ll have to see it.
ETA: SNAKES ON A MUTHA&$%^@# PLANE IS NOT ELIGIBLE AS IT IS OUT IN AUGUST!