...And if everyone told me to jump off a cliff, I would
Ten Ways to Tell You’re Reading a Fic by Evadne Noel
1. Lucius is so out of character that everyone else appears to be in character by comparison.
2. 90% of the fics have the following plot: Voldemort does something ill-advised, Snape snarks about it, Lucius has no idea what is going on and the rest of the Death Eaters stand around like rocks.
3. Minor details from earlier stories are destined to come back as lame jokes in future chapters.
4. All chapters are built around one single line; it is usually pretty obvious which one.
5. The narrator occasionally feels the need to talk to you directly; at length and not about anything of importance to the story.
6. The title is frequently the best joke in the story.
7. Voldemort never actually thinks up a plan; he just thinks about thinking up a plan.
8. At any given moment, Harry and Voldemort are approximately five seconds away from joining forces and screaming down the Death Eaters for being such idiots.
9. Dumbledore is a crafty, scheming, nearly omniscient, perpetually unworried, no-account, bad-gift-giving jerk.
10. Attempts to impose any type of continuity or sense are actively discouraged, as they will only result in massive headaches anyway.
1. Lucius is so out of character that everyone else appears to be in character by comparison.
2. 90% of the fics have the following plot: Voldemort does something ill-advised, Snape snarks about it, Lucius has no idea what is going on and the rest of the Death Eaters stand around like rocks.
3. Minor details from earlier stories are destined to come back as lame jokes in future chapters.
4. All chapters are built around one single line; it is usually pretty obvious which one.
5. The narrator occasionally feels the need to talk to you directly; at length and not about anything of importance to the story.
6. The title is frequently the best joke in the story.
7. Voldemort never actually thinks up a plan; he just thinks about thinking up a plan.
8. At any given moment, Harry and Voldemort are approximately five seconds away from joining forces and screaming down the Death Eaters for being such idiots.
9. Dumbledore is a crafty, scheming, nearly omniscient, perpetually unworried, no-account, bad-gift-giving jerk.
10. Attempts to impose any type of continuity or sense are actively discouraged, as they will only result in massive headaches anyway.