Movie Review: The Legend of Zorro
I'm trying to think of a way to say, "Don't see this movie" without it sounding really harsh. I mean, I didn't like the movie, but it wasn't so horrible as to...Screw it:
Don't see this movie. Rent the original Mask of Zorro. That was a good movie.
It's like someone took Mask of Zorro, Mummy Returns, and some feel good patriotic movie and smashed them all together in a way that removed any and all good parts of the base movies.
Dude, this movie has Rufus Sewell in it, and I still don't like it.
First of all, there is not nearly enough Zorro action in this film. It is nearly half-way through the movie before Antonio Bandaras does his first Zorro Z-slash. What action there is seems like redone scenes from the first movie. Oh, they're fighting on a high place with a pulley machine bringing cargo up the side of a canyon. I wonder how that will turn out. Also, the action feels neutered. This movie is a PG, not a PG-13 (like the first movie), and it appears to have affected the movie's ability to create any type of suspense in the action sequences. You know exactly what will happen and to whom. It's like the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular at Universal. The movie is bloodless, not just in the literal sense, but in the figurative as well.
Second, oh lord, they put in a precocious child. Mini-Zorro is shaping up to be like his dear old da, what with his defending classmates from a mean teacher and jumping into the bad guy's wagon to find out what they're up to. Remember how the kid killed Mummy Returns? Well, they did the same thing here. Luckily, Mini-Zorro is slightly less able that the kid from Mummy Returns, so it doesn't feel as ridiculous. Because, following the bad guys without planning how to get away from them is an incredibly stupid idea, and the little boy cannot actually defend himself from the scum of the West.
Third, the villains were terrible. A French count (the reason why a French count could even be a villain is probably the stupidest thing in the movie, but that would be a spoiler, so I'm not getting into it) and a Bible thumping murderer-for-hire.
Finally, they made Zorro an all-American hero. With a healthy dose of all-American pride and patriotism. I have nothing against all-American heroes (hell, I read superhero comics), but it's Zorro. Zorro, the famous Mexican hero of the people. WHHHHHHHHHY? Does Hollywood think Americans can't handle non-American heroes? We ate up the original Zorro movie, didn't we? We have plenty of our own heroes, why do we need to be stealing them from other countries now?
Good points? Well, Antonio Bandaras and Catherine Zeta-Jones are still hot. Their scenes together (though weirdly set up by a bizarre plot point) are great; they have witty banter; they have chemistry. The friar friend of Zorro is good too; funny without imposing too much onto the scene. Actually, there was lots of good interaction in this movie between the actors. Some of the monologue scenes, where characters don't have anyone else to play off of, come off as unintentionally funny, but for the most part the acting is solid anyway.
The take-away message: Definitely don't pay full price to see this movie. You will probably feel ripped off. Any other matinee or rental price...well, it might be worth it if you liked the original movie.
Don't see this movie. Rent the original Mask of Zorro. That was a good movie.
It's like someone took Mask of Zorro, Mummy Returns, and some feel good patriotic movie and smashed them all together in a way that removed any and all good parts of the base movies.
Dude, this movie has Rufus Sewell in it, and I still don't like it.
First of all, there is not nearly enough Zorro action in this film. It is nearly half-way through the movie before Antonio Bandaras does his first Zorro Z-slash. What action there is seems like redone scenes from the first movie. Oh, they're fighting on a high place with a pulley machine bringing cargo up the side of a canyon. I wonder how that will turn out. Also, the action feels neutered. This movie is a PG, not a PG-13 (like the first movie), and it appears to have affected the movie's ability to create any type of suspense in the action sequences. You know exactly what will happen and to whom. It's like the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular at Universal. The movie is bloodless, not just in the literal sense, but in the figurative as well.
Second, oh lord, they put in a precocious child. Mini-Zorro is shaping up to be like his dear old da, what with his defending classmates from a mean teacher and jumping into the bad guy's wagon to find out what they're up to. Remember how the kid killed Mummy Returns? Well, they did the same thing here. Luckily, Mini-Zorro is slightly less able that the kid from Mummy Returns, so it doesn't feel as ridiculous. Because, following the bad guys without planning how to get away from them is an incredibly stupid idea, and the little boy cannot actually defend himself from the scum of the West.
Third, the villains were terrible. A French count (the reason why a French count could even be a villain is probably the stupidest thing in the movie, but that would be a spoiler, so I'm not getting into it) and a Bible thumping murderer-for-hire.
Finally, they made Zorro an all-American hero. With a healthy dose of all-American pride and patriotism. I have nothing against all-American heroes (hell, I read superhero comics), but it's Zorro. Zorro, the famous Mexican hero of the people. WHHHHHHHHHY? Does Hollywood think Americans can't handle non-American heroes? We ate up the original Zorro movie, didn't we? We have plenty of our own heroes, why do we need to be stealing them from other countries now?
Good points? Well, Antonio Bandaras and Catherine Zeta-Jones are still hot. Their scenes together (though weirdly set up by a bizarre plot point) are great; they have witty banter; they have chemistry. The friar friend of Zorro is good too; funny without imposing too much onto the scene. Actually, there was lots of good interaction in this movie between the actors. Some of the monologue scenes, where characters don't have anyone else to play off of, come off as unintentionally funny, but for the most part the acting is solid anyway.
The take-away message: Definitely don't pay full price to see this movie. You will probably feel ripped off. Any other matinee or rental price...well, it might be worth it if you liked the original movie.