Title: Love me like I Love you 14
Title: Love me like I Love you 14
Pairing: Taecyeon/Wooyoung, Junsu/Junho
Rating: PG-13, M
TaecWoo: Because of dance everything leads to disguising himself as a girl and loosing all his first. Life goes from normal to strange as Wooyoung gains a lover.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Hey."
Soyoung didn't reply at first but soon said something when I sat down.
"How are you?" she asked.
I frowned.
I haven't seen her for almost three days after she talked to Taecyeon.
I had no idea what they talked about and I have no idea if she is mad at me.
"Woo?"
I snapped from my thoughts to see her staring at me.
"I asked you a question." she said.
"Huh?"
"How have you been?" she asked.
"Why are you asking me as if we don't know each other?" I asked.
"What do you mean?" she said as she turned back to the stove.
"I'm sorry." I apologized.
'For what though?' I wondered.
She didn't say anything.
I sighed and lowered my head.
"If you want me to break up with-"
"Wooyoung!"
She slammed the knife down and released a huge breath.
I stared at her back shocked and confused.
"This is why I'm mad." she said.
I didn't say anything.
A long silence passed.
"He's going to Japan and China for a week right?" she asked.
"Y...yeah." I replied.
She sighed.
"Do you..." she started, stopped and sighed again.
"You already know my feelings for him right? I wouldn't ever tell someone that I will break up with someone I like if it's only because that person likes him back. He's mine." Soyoung said.
The last part stuck in my head and made my heart pang.
"You would say he's mine. I would say he's mine!" she yelled.
"I-"
"So why do you keep talking about breaking up with him just because of me! Hurting his heart! Do you even think about his feeling? How do you really feel about him Woo....why are you doing this really? Do you really-"
"Stop."
She didn't.
"Why do you play with people's feelings like this? You don't know what you want and sometimes that really makes me angry. You don't think about other people's feeling at all! Just before dad died, you didn't even think about his-"
"Stop!"
My eyes started to sting as I yelled at her.
Sudden images of the that night flashed inside my head as I stared at nothing but the space in front of me.
Soyoung stopped as she breathed hard and turned away.
'I don't want this. I don't want to fight.' I thought.
A short silence passed.
"I'm sorry..." Soyoung whispered.
My eyes wanted to release the tears but I forced myself not to release them.
"No...I'm sorry." I apologized after another moment of silence.
She continued cooking as I sat with a lot of thoughts in my head.
I didn't even look at her when she set two bowls of rice down.
It was only when she sat and the food was in front of us that she spoke up.
"Eat." she said.
I nodded and obeyed.
I picked up my chopsticks but didn't eat.
Couldn't eat.
Instead, I played with the food.
"Hey. Look I said I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say all those things." she said.
Her words just made me want to cry though.
"Eat your food." she said again.
"But..." I opened my mouth to talk.
"What?" she said.
I shook my head and put my chopsticks down.
Quickly before I could be stopped, I ran into my room and fell right on the bed.
As if a child who had just been scolded by the parent. I couldn't hold my tears in.
She was right. Right about everything.
I don't know what I want and I do play with people's feelings a lot.
I am playing with Taecyeons feelings.
I like him. I like him so much but...I deny it...I deny it too much.
Especially when I see Min or Spyoungs face, I back down.
That night dad was only trying to talk to me, I yelled and said some unforgivable things before the accident. I never tried to seriously get along with him. We always fought and I never tried to-
He dies without my apology.
The tears stung my eyes so bad. I hadn't cried in a long time so the tears didn't stop.
Soyoung didn't come for me at all and how glad I was that she didn't.
As I laid on my bed on my stomach with thoughts about that night in my head, the forbidden tears I always hide came rushing down my face.
I quietly cried and cursed myself for crying.
A long time I just laid there letting the tears fall.
I only let go of the silence when my door opened and closed.
I stayed still and tried to calm my hiccups as footsteps walked towards my bed.
I didn't bother looking, afraid Soyoung would see my crying face that I never want her to see since that night.
I tried calming myself so much that I ended up crying more heavily and loudly.
Slowly, a pair of warm long arms pulled me up and wrapped me into a hard but comfortable chest.
At that point I realized it was not Soyoung and my crying did really become louder.
'What is he doing here?' I thought to myself as I cried.
I cried loudly, and the tears wouldn't stop.
I couldn't even stop to ask Taecyeon why he was in my room and not getting ready to leave.
Taecyeon just held me tight but said nothing.
He didnt say anything at all from the time he came in to the current scene of him holding me tight on my
bed.
I only realized it was him because Junho and Junsu are not so big and muscular to have the kind of body that was hugging me tight at the moment and I recognized his usual smell of shampoo because I've used it before.
Taecyeon held me tighter and tighter as I cried and sniffled and basically destroyed my whole tough image I always held up in front of him, Soyoung, and everyone else that tried to help me.
At some point I started apologizing over and over again.
Also, at some point Soyoung came in and I apologized over and over to her and to my parents, especially my dad.
I couldn't see Soyoungs face because of the tears and I cursed myself more for showing her this weakness that wouldn't leave me no matter what I did.
I apologized a lot to Taecyeon and as I was told the next day when I woke up, I confessed my feelings of love to him.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Soyoung woke me up a little after noon and instructed me to go shower.
I stayed in the shower for a long time because I didn't want to see her face and I didn't want her to see mine.
No matter how much I washed my face my eyes still looked red and my face itself looked puffy and terrible.
I rubbed my face so hard until my cheeks turned permanently red.
"Come eat when your done." Soyoung said knocking on the bathroom door.
I ignored her.
I didn't want to talk. If I talked, I would remember everything I was trying to forget once again.
Everything that happened yesterday school night.
When I finally slowly went to my room and finished dressing, I walked slowly to the kitchen where Soyoung sat waiting for me.
'Why are you waiting?' I thought to myself.
"That was a long time." she said.
I showed no signs of movement. I didn't even nod my head afraid that I would say something to make me start crying again.
I couldn't lift my head to look at her because of my terrible looking face.
I felt daggers pierce through me though. I knew Soyoung was staring hard at me.
All the more reason to not lift my head up.
Without lifting my head, I slowly sat down and stared at the food in front of me.
I wasn't really hungry but my body was saying otherwise.
"Eat. You didn't eat anything yesterday." Soyoung said.
I nodded and hoped she took that as a thanks too.
A short silence passed as I picked up my chopsticks and started eating - even though I didn't want to.
I ate in silence and didn't raise my head once at all.
Soyoung spoke first.
"I'm sorry." she said.
I nodded.
'Me too.' I thought in my head.
She sighed.
"I know your mad at me." she said.
I shook my head no and almost raised my head but caught myself fast.
She sighed again.
"Jang Wooyoung, I'm Jang Soyoung your older sister. I love you and will always love you. Yesterday...I shouldn't have called busy oppa...I'm your noona. It should be me helping you not hurting you. Please don't be mad at me." she said.
My head lifted on it's own before I couldn't catch myself.
She leaned towards me and slowly stroked my left cheek.
I leaned into her touch and closed my eyes once before opening them.
"I'm sorry brother. I love you. Your my family. I should be with you in times of trouble. I'm sorry for yelling at you and saying those words to you." she said.
I shook my head no.
"Your not playing with Taecyeon oppas feelings are you?" she said.
I lifted my head quick and we caught eyes.
"Taecyeon oppa and I talked again for a real long time yesterday after you fell asleep." she said.
'His trip.' I thought with worry.
Soyoung chuckled.
"Don't worry, he's not in trouble. He packed earlier so he just had to go straight to the airport. He didn't miss his plane." Soyoung said.
I looked up at her.
"It showed on you face." she said.
I looked away, feeling a blush form on my already blotchy red cheeks.
"When I heard you tell Taecyeon oppa that you loved him, I wanted to cry."
"What?" I said shocked as I turned to her.
My voice sounded hoarse from all the crying.
It was the first time I spoke properly since I woke up and as I thought, as soon as I opened my mouth, I had to hold back as my eyes closed and I remembered everything that happened the other night.
I did indeed tell Taecyeon that I loved him.
As he hugged me tight and tried to calm me down with silence, before I fell asleep, I whispered in his ear at I loved him.
Such an embarrassing thing.
My face suddenly heated and I covered my cheeks.
"What did I do?" I asked myself.
"Then you kissed him." she said. "In front of me."
I turned to her wide eyed.
I wanted to apologize but there was no reason to was there. She was the one in my room at the time.
"You really love him." she said.
'I kind of really really like him.' I thought to myself.
"Of course maybe you won't remember saying that because you tend to hide away the embarrassing, hurtful things you say and that happen." she said.
"What?" I said.
"Trust me. A lot of things have happened more that I know you've hidden away. When Taecyeon oppa and I talked, the first thing I was shocked about was to hear him say that you have said this word before. You have also cried in front of him before." she said.
"What? I haven't." I said wide eyed.
"You have. You just don't remember because you hide it away Woo. You hide the feelings away and sometimes that hurts other people. I didn't mean to bring up the past but you have to stop hiding your feelings." she said.
I stared at the table for a long time.
'I've said I've loved him before and he didn't tell me?' I thought.
I didn't know how to feel about that.
"The way you act..." Soyoung paused and I lifted my head to look at her.
She sighed.
"Don't get mad or sad." she said.
I nodded.
I didn't plan to cry in front of her ever again after what happened yesterday night.
"The way you act sometimes....I would have thought Taecyeon oppa will leave you." she said.
"He has...once." I said.
"Because...the way you act...you understand that right Wooyoung?" she asked.
I nodded slowly.
"The reason why he didn't is because of those words you said to him. You might not remember...you said you loved him once in your sleep...and that's what he's been holding on to." she said.
I stared at her shocked.
'Did I really admit my feelings in my sleep?' I thought to myself. 'What else have I said...or done?' I continued wondering as I listened to Soyoung.
"Don't hold yourself back because of me...because of anyone that gets in your way. Express your feelings. Let it out." she said.
I stared at her and she smiled.
"I really said it?" I asked.
She nodded.
"And I....I kiss..." I paused.
"Yeah." Soyoung said.
I looked away.
"O...okay..." I said.
"You understand?" she asked.
I nodded.
"You want to think about it?" she asked.
I nodded again.
"Okay. Let's eat." she said.
I nodded for the third time, unable to speak because of all that was just revealed to me.
We ate in silence but unlike before, it was comfortable silence.
When we finished, Soyoung handed me a note.
"You know who from." she said as she finished buttoning her work shirt.
I took the note and stared at it for a few moments.
It wasn't big, but a small folder up piece of paper that had my name on it.
"Don't worry. I didn't read it." Soyoung said suddenly.
I lifted my head and we caught eyes.
"If you want to tell me. You can tell me." she said.
I broke away from her look and stared back down at the note in my hands.
Slowly, I began to open it when Soyoung stopped me.
"I'm going to be late. No school today, your face looks terrible. You need this weekend to yourself. Relax and calm down. If you want to talk about anything, we can when I get back okay?" she said smiling.
"Your coming back?" I said.
"Of course stupid. This is our home." she said.
I smiled and nodded.
Soyoung Leland in close and before I could pull away in disgust she kissed my forehead and then the top of my head.
"Ew.." I said as I got up and pulled away from her.
"Shut up." she said laughing.
I wiggled around pretending it was the most disgusting thing ever.
It didn't disgust me at all because she awl age used to do it when I had fights with dad and cried. Back when I was really vulnerable and I really didn't know what I wanted with life.
"I'll see you later." Soyoung said waving as she left.
I waited for a few moments, got up and walked to my room.i didn't immediately look at the not be until I was laying comfortably in bed with covers all around me.
I slowly opened the note and threw it to the side at the simple words that struck me right in the face.
"Are you stupid!" I yelled loudly.
'When I come back - We will have sex.
I mean it this time. Prepare yourself.'
-Taec
I couldn't believe Taecyeon wrote that and only that. What if Soyoung read it! "
Stupid idiot what do you think your saying?"
My whole body heated up and I covered my face in embarrassment.
"What does he mean we are...." I paused and I rubbed at my cheeks before rushing to the bathroom to soak my face in cold water.
When I felt my body had cooled down a bit, I dragged myself back to my bed and pulled all the covers back on top of me.
The words in the note that laid on the floor went through and through my head as I stared at it.
'Prepare myself? How?' I wondered.
I couldn't dare to look on Junhos computer again and I couldn't ask Junho in fear that he would make fun of me.
"Urghh...what should I do?" I said to myself as I tossed and turned in bed.
"Do two guys really do it like what I read and saw? Doesn't it hurt?" I whispered to myself.
I laid in silence trying to picture it - then I quickly stopped myself by slapping my cheeks in embarrassment.
"Stop it Jang Wooyoung." I said to myself. "You have a week. Don't think about it now." I said to myself.
I continued laying in silence as I thought about all that Soyoung said to me.
'I won't be afraid this time.' I thought.
"We can...go all the way." I whispered.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
A/N 15 tomorrow. long one. promise. :) hope you like!