Re: mermaidjohn 1etothepiiSeptember 7 2011, 05:12:30 UTC
except there's no nice way for john to be like "yeah she's a mermaid i just know this, let's shove her back into the water she'll be fine she probably lives there", so it's awkward and tense and she tries to seduce sherlock (it doesn't work), and then later tries to convince him to go into the water
and sherlock isn't interested in her except in the "how did she get this far in the water and how is she in such good health" sense
and so he watches john because he knows john knows more than he lets on and john is like "yeeeah i dunno let's jsut go drop her off at dry land, yeah?" and whatever
until finally they bait again -- she fakes falling underwater again, and then lets herself fall entirely, as if she's lost her strength (so someone has to dive in after her)
john of course jumps in right away, to prevent sherlock doing so, and she tries to drown him
and he's like "sup bitches i'm a mermaid too, i can totes breathe underwater, get out of here and go away"
and she goes away after some fighting and convoing and stuff -- maybe some scorn on her part because he's rejected the ocean, which is their lifegiver blahblah and spiritually significant to her
except
he's been under the water too long and now sherlock's panicking, because john went underwater and didn't come up, so now he jumps in too, which is great except that hey fucktard, sea water is cold and also it's night and also he has no idea where john is because john's like 20 feet underwater or something
so now john has to rescue him, so john rescues him but by then sherlock's not hypothermic or exploded so he figures out something's up -- because john's kicked off his shoes, because john swims like a fucking fish (despite saying he hates swimming), because john drags him to the surface and then stays mostly submerged, because when john's head breaks the water he spits out a mouthful (more than a mouthful) of water before speaking
and so sherlock's like, climbing up and back into the boat and he's like "john come on" and john's like, "uhhhhhhhhh"
because it takes more than a few seconds for the extra gills and fishyness to leave his body, and his legs hadn't fused together or anything but his feet are basically mostly flippery, and also gills and it's cold outside the water and there's no way sherlock won't notice the gills on the side of his neck
so then an awkward reveal like "so.... uh... i never told you about my mother, did i"
and maybe a storytime while john's just chilling in the water and sherlock's like "you're gonna freeze to death the water's freezing D: D: D:" and johns like "no actually it's um, really comfortable, look just let me tell you this story about my life okay"
and then they talk and it's cool and john's like "yeah so they're mermaids and probably really eating people"
and sherlock's liek "wow that's cool you're cool also how do i make them stop eating people"
and john's like "well i don't really know. =/ i guess you could shoot them"
and sherlock's like "you'd shoot your own kind?"
and john's like "uh yeah i do that already, humans are my kind too" and maybe they find a compromise, like going back to the old traditions, and giving gifts to the mermaids -- fish and trinkets and stuff like that, the old stuff from legends instead of a more modern approach, and the guys are superstitious so it works
or maybe some of those water noise things that people use to drive away whales, like the ones that transmit a really annoying noise, like dog whistles but underwater (these are a real thing okay).
and they do that and it's cool
and then the end is
john brings sherlock to the seaside where he grew up and shows sherlock to his mommy and sherlock is painfully polite and john's mommy is liek "yeah okay fine i guess i've set a precedent for that sort of thing"
except there's no nice way for john to be like "yeah she's a mermaid i just know this, let's shove her back into the water she'll be fine she probably lives there", so it's awkward and tense and she tries to seduce sherlock (it doesn't work), and then later tries to convince him to go into the water
and sherlock isn't interested in her except in the "how did she get this far in the water and how is she in such good health" sense
and so he watches john because he knows john knows more than he lets on and john is like "yeeeah i dunno let's jsut go drop her off at dry land, yeah?" and whatever
until finally they bait again -- she fakes falling underwater again, and then lets herself fall entirely, as if she's lost her strength (so someone has to dive in after her)
john of course jumps in right away, to prevent sherlock doing so, and she tries to drown him
and he's like "sup bitches i'm a mermaid too, i can totes breathe underwater, get out of here and go away"
and she goes away after some fighting and convoing and stuff -- maybe some scorn on her part because he's rejected the ocean, which is their lifegiver blahblah and spiritually significant to her
except
he's been under the water too long and now sherlock's panicking, because john went underwater and didn't come up, so now he jumps in too, which is great except that hey fucktard, sea water is cold and also it's night and also he has no idea where john is because john's like 20 feet underwater or something
so now john has to rescue him, so john rescues him but by then sherlock's not hypothermic or exploded so he figures out something's up -- because john's kicked off his shoes, because john swims like a fucking fish (despite saying he hates swimming), because john drags him to the surface and then stays mostly submerged, because when john's head breaks the water he spits out a mouthful (more than a mouthful) of water before speaking
and so sherlock's like, climbing up and back into the boat and he's like "john come on" and john's like, "uhhhhhhhhh"
because it takes more than a few seconds for the extra gills and fishyness to leave his body, and his legs hadn't fused together or anything but his feet are basically mostly flippery, and also gills and it's cold outside the water and there's no way sherlock won't notice the gills on the side of his neck
so then an awkward reveal like "so.... uh... i never told you about my mother, did i"
and maybe a storytime while john's just chilling in the water and sherlock's like "you're gonna freeze to death the water's freezing D: D: D:" and johns like "no actually it's um, really comfortable, look just let me tell you this story about my life okay"
and then they talk and it's cool and john's like "yeah so they're mermaids and probably really eating people"
and sherlock's liek "wow that's cool you're cool also how do i make them stop eating people"
and john's like "well i don't really know. =/ i guess you could shoot them"
and sherlock's like "you'd shoot your own kind?"
and john's like "uh yeah i do that already, humans are my kind too" and maybe they find a compromise, like going back to the old traditions, and giving gifts to the mermaids -- fish and trinkets and stuff like that, the old stuff from legends instead of a more modern approach, and the guys are superstitious so it works
or maybe some of those water noise things that people use to drive away whales, like the ones that transmit a really annoying noise, like dog whistles but underwater (these are a real thing okay).
and they do that and it's cool
and then the end is
john brings sherlock to the seaside where he grew up and shows sherlock to his mommy and sherlock is painfully polite and john's mommy is liek "yeah okay fine i guess i've set a precedent for that sort of thing"
and it is cute.
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