Café Lilou Interlude
December seventh. It’s the day Jared had met Jensen, and he knows he’ll never forget the date.
Not that it would be easy. Texting to your best friend in the middle of the night that you’ve just fallen in love with the funniest, most gorgeous, very pregnant guy in the whole world like you’re a thirteen years old girl coming back from a boyband concert says a lot. Tahmoh texts him back a definitely sleepy text wishing him the best of luck, then adding a little poop icon, either because they’re trendy, or because he’s been awakened in the middle of the night. Jared can’t tell.
He’s there at the opening of the café the morning after, surprising Emily, his youngest employee, who comes out of the back holding her apron like it’s a weapon. She’s still very shy around him and is so nervous accomplishing her tasks that Jared takes pity on her and pretends to fall asleep working at his desk in the back store.
Come twelve, Jared figures he can’t live at the Café just waiting for Jensen to come back -if he is coming back. In the afternoon, he needs to make a deposit at the bank and tells the two employees on the floor to call him if they see a very pregnant man. “Is he dangerous?” Katherine asks, her blue eyes widening, which just makes Jared realize a little more how ridiculously he’s acting.
He feels a little desperate during dinner, which he bought at the restaurant on the other side on the street and eats at a table near the window. Jensen might very well not come back, despite having been so open the night before, even though he kissed Jared. On the mouth! He’s close to his due date, after all, and surely isn’t in the best of shape. He might have been told by his doctor to stay home to rest -it happens, right? Or maybe he needs to do as much work as possible for the website before his paternity leave. They’ve exchanged numbers, but he also told Jared to wait until the baby was born. He'd said it in a sweeter way, but the message had been clear nevertheless. Jared looks at the screen of his cellphone, at Jensen’s name displaying on the bright background. He doesn’t have a good reason to call him.
What should he do? He asks himself desperately. And the answer is simple but depressing. There is nothing to do. It hasn’t even been twenty four hours since he last saw Jensen.
Go home. Relax. Watch a movie.
Yeah, because it will be easier not to think about Jensen alone in his depressing apartment after a couple of cheap beer.
“Are you okay, boss?” Dylan asks, passing by with a tray full of empty coffee mugs.
Jared hates to be called “boss” but after correcting him daily during his training, he’s given up. Dylan is a good employee, always seems to be happy to come to work and to serve clients, even the most difficult ones. He’s in college. Jared has forgotten his field of studies and, after a year, he can’t find a way to ask without sounding especially uncaring. Dylan talks a lot about school, but strangely, now that Jared is almost desperate to know, it’s like he never mention the damn name of his classes anymore.
“I’m fine.” Jared knows he sounds like he’s brooding. Because he is.
“Hey, new customer,” Dylan says, looking at the door who’s bell still ringing. “Another one stolen from Starbucks.
It’s a joke here at Café Lilou. Each time they get a new customer, they tell themselves it’s someone who’s discovered Starbuck sucks.
“And I bet he’s going to help us get rid of all the muffins we haven’t sold today,” Dylan adds. “Wow, he really likes his food if his belly is any indication.
Jared’s head snaps up and his eyes darts toward the door. There is Jensen, standing near the entry, brushing the snow off his coat. Jared’s heart skips a beat, and he can’t help but wonder if someone can have a heart attack because of a happiness overload.
“He’s pregnant, and he’s my friend,” he says coldly, standing up quickly enough that his chair makes an awful screeching noise on the floor.
“Oh, I’m…”
Jared doesn’t hear the sorry. He walks toward Jensen with a smile that he hopes isn’t too hysterical. Jensen waves at him, cheeks red from the cold, his hat resting all askew on his head, so low on the left it hides half of his eyes.
Jared wants to take him in his arms and kiss him, which is a good enough clue that the feelings he had yesterday weren’t just a matter of circumstances after a long tiring day.
He doesn’t, though. He stops a foot away, and opens his mouth to say… something. It’s nice to see you again. How are you. Or, you know, just “hi.”
Nothing comes out. Luckily, Jensen is as much as a talker as he was yesterday.
“Okay, I’ll admit, I thought about your pecan pie all day, and I resisted as much as I could. Went to see my doctor today, and I’ve put on five pounds in a week he did his scary bushy eyebrows and told me about boring stuff like losing weight after the baby’s born.”
“Well, we have fruit cups and yogurt.”
Jensen pouts. “What? I have those at home. I’ll have a slice of pecan pie, but I’ll drop the ice cream. It’s a good compromise, for me anyway.”
“Come and sit at my table,” Jared guides him by the elbow, making sure Jensen’s wide stance won’t make him bump into chairs, table or clients. “I’ll get your order, and I’ll join you.”
It suddenly comes to his attention that Jensen might not have come here to see him after all, but only because of the rich and seriously awesome pecan pie. He slows down. “Well, if you wanted to spend a quiet moment you don’t have to sit with me of course, it’s-“
“The pecan pie is good, but I totally came to see you,” Jensen admits boldly. “If that’s okay," he adds, less certain.
“That’s more than okay,” Jared exclaims, maybe a tad too loud. Some of the patrons are staring now. “There,” he points at the table, speaking more softly. “What would you like to drink?”
“I want to drink coffee,” Jensen says, frowning. He looks like a little kid that’s about to stamp his foot on the ground. “But a hot chocolate would be nice -cut the whipped cream, though.”
Jensen sits on the chair that Jared has just pulled out for him, letting out an “oof.” Then he adds, suddenly grumpy. “I’m a freaking saint, and I hate Dr. Capaldi. He’s scary.”
Jared restrains himself from running to the counter to prepare Jensen’s order, he’s concentrating hard enough that Dylan apologizing is like an annoying background noise. Only when the plate is filled does he decide to acknowledge him and immediately feels bad, seeing the poor boy’s distraught expression. “Hey, Dyl, it’s okay. I’m sorry I snapped. You didn’t know he was pregnant, stop apologizing please.”
A smile illuminates Dylan’s face. “Okay, boss.”
Jared cringes internally but lets it go.
At their table, Katherine is there, talking with Jensen like they’re old friends. It figures. She’s a little chatter box, they’re made for each other -well, not really but.
Is it stupid to feel jealous of a seventeen years old girl?
Jared sits and tells Katherine there is some dishes to wash, which isn’t true. He doesn’t care. She nods, then does her thing again with her eyes opening wide. “Oh, you’re the guy Jared told us to watch out for!” She tells Jensen, then starts laughing. “I thought you were a criminal or something.”
Jared doesn’t think he can be redder, and when Katherine finally leaves, he finds himself speechless, lowering his eyes when Jensen gives him that maliciously amused look.
“Awww, you were watching out for me. That’s adorable.”
“It’s just…”
…Yeah. Still speechless. Jensen seems to feel a little bad. He stretches out his hand and pats Jared’s.
“I really do think it’s adorable,” Jensen says softly. “And I would have been here this morning, except I didn’t want you to think I was crazy.”
Then, he attacks his slice of pie with ferocity, letting out the same sexy noise as the day before.
“Really?” Jared finally asks.
“Yeah,” Jensen nods, never taking his eyes away from the pie. “It’s… something special happened yesterday between us, right? I don’t think I’m making this up, since you had your staff watch out for me.”
“You’re not making this up.”
Jensen shakes his head. “Never happened to me before. You don’t want to know about my love life, it’s a very long and boring story with a lot of bad judgement from my part, and guys who were definitely more interested in owning my ass than talking about their feeling.” He drops his fork and scratches the back of his head. “Well, there goes my big mouth again.”
“It’s okay,” Jared says sincerely, and the smile that’s on his lips won’t leave them, he’s worried he’s going to start looking like a maniac any minute now.
“Anyway, Jared, I… Talk about bad timing, right? But I guess love is like that; you don’t get to choose when it happens to you.”
“You’re right,” Jared agrees, meanwhile, there is this internal fiesta in his mind because Jensen talked about love. It’s huge.
“So yeah, I came here to see you, and I want to come back tomorrow, and maybe the day after, and the day after,” Jensen makes a motion with his free hand. The other one is too busy holding his fork and clearing his plate. “Plus,” he adds in a lighter tone, “I got sent home from work today so I have a lot free time.”
“You lost your job?”
Jared is devastated. And angry. It should be easy to find that small office and terrorize the geeks working there. Like Jensen has made all those sacrifices of moving away from home for nothing, he’s going to be a father, how cruel can those guys-
“Of course not.”
Oh. Jared laughs nervously. And tries to forget he thought for a second of beating up three strangers. Because it isn’t like him. He’s not crazy, right?
“It’s just… I’ve been having those false contractions -that are completely normal at this stage of the pregnancy, and it makes the guys nervous. They said I could work from home -which is true, we’re talking about a website, here. And they told me to get some rest. They aren’t wrong, but I’m not especially enthusiastic about spending my days in my apartment looking at the walls. My neighbor, Danneel, she’s great, but she spends half of her time at her boyfriend's place, so…”
Jensen shrugs.
“Here I am. You are here, and the food is awesome, and the smell of coffee is even better.”
Jared nods enthusiastically. He does, however, notice the dark circles under Jensen’s eyes, and the way his breathing pattern seems strained, sometimes becoming very short. He notices the grimaces too, and the way the man shifts on his chair to find a comfortable position.
“You know, if you’re tired I could…” Jared swallows slowly to gather some courage. “I could visit you at your place. Bringing pecan pie and hot chocolate with me.”
Jensen smiles, but shakes his head. It’s bad. Makes Jared insides feel like they’re covered in ice.
“Don’t take it the wrong way please,” Jensen is pleading, his eyes darkening. “It’s just, I’m about to have a kid, and… This… It’s so sudden it scares me a little, and I have a lot on my mind right now. I was honest when I told you to ask me again after the baby’s born. Meanwhile, here, it seems like neutral ground, you know? It’s a good compromise. Because I don’t think I could not see you every day, or, well, maybe every other day, and it’s scary, what I feel for you, because… well…
“It is scary,” Jared agrees, relieved. “And I get what you’re saying. It’s just… I don’t want you to walk here every day -or every other day, you know?- You’re carrying a baby, and you have those false contractions and…. I don’t want anything bad happening to you.”
“I’m fine, and I do own a car, and I swear, it’s only a ten minute walk anyway. Plus, we already exchanged phone numbers. Don’t worry about me.”
“Okay,” Jared agrees. Except he will. A lot.
Jensen does come to the coffee shop every day for the following week. Jared and he spend hours chatting, and each time Jensen says he should head back home, Jared’s heart gets all twisted up. “We’re ridiculous,” Jensen says one day, as they are hanging out close to the door, like neither of them wants to leave. “We’re like… we’re even too much for those cheap romance books you can buy at airports.”
“I don’t care,” Jared says.
He doesn’t.
“I don’t care either,” Jensen replies, taking his hand off the door’s handle to lean back against the wall more comfortably.
Jared’s employees are aware of what’s going on, and Jared can sometimes hear them whispering and laughing. He doesn’t care. One day, Jensen brings his neighbor, Danneel, with him. She’s a beautiful woman, apparently very sympathetic, but Jared can feel her eyes on him the whole time, like she’s analyzing that big guy that has something going on with her vulnerable, very pregnant friend. He doesn’t mind. Finally, she seems satisfied, and her smile becomes more sincere. Jared is glad that she’s living right next to Jensen, and that that they seem comfortable enough with each other for him to ask for help if he needs it.
Jared thought he couldn’t possibly live at the café, but that’s pretty much what he’s doing, even though most of the time Jensen comes in later in the day. They talk for hours, learning so much about each other, and everything Jared discovers about Jensen, every small detail, is, if not pleasing, then surprising, adorable, or heart breaking. There this man in front of him whose heart is bigger than the place for it in his chest. He speaks of his family with such love, of high school with his eyes shining - he’s had such a hard time, not only knowing, early on that he was gay, but playing against him was also his physique. “Looking like a twink is an understatement in my case. I have those… features, you know, and before I put on some muscle and… Geez. I looked like a girl with my big lips and long eyelashes, and I wasn’t exactly into sports, so…”
Jensen, though, has this ability to turn everything into a positive experience -some of those bullies who made his life miserable became his friends over time. And that’s only one example. Reading between the lines, Jared can guess from Jensen’s rare silences that he’s always been there for the people who count for him, that he doesn’t hold grudges, and that maybe, just maybe he might be a little naïve -the kind of guy that’s easily taken advantage of in his desire to help others and to have everybody happy around him.
Jared falls in love a little bit more each day. It’s different from the crush that hit him when they met. His feelings grow deeper and deeper, and he wants everything. He wants Jensen, he wants to be with him, and to protect him and to make him happy. He wants to help him with his daughter. That’s all he can think about.
Christmas is getting closer, and the snow that was covering the landscape has melted, leaving a grey, gloomy look to everything. Jared is grateful for it because it makes Jensen’s walks easier. Usually, the holidays are a very stressful period at the Café, with lots of drop-in patrons, and so many people having days off work that he can’t count on the normal routine, where he knows the hours that will be busiest and can predict when to add an employee or even two. It always becomes a little more chaotic.
It’s the first year Jared doesn’t really care, just does his best, so he can focus his attention on Jensen again. He doesn’t plan anything for the holidays, not visiting his brother in Philadelphia, or his parents in Boston. He doesn’t invite them home. He just comes to work every day and waits for Jensen.
Jensen will spend Christmas alone. His sister wants to come and help after the baby’s birth, so she’ll wait a few days before flying in. Jared is secretly happy Jensen doesn’t have any plans. He tells him the coffee shop closes at five on the twenty fourth and won’t open until the 26. He and Jared can spend Christmas Eve together in the deserted place.
Jensen agrees.
This is, by far, the strangest but most wonderful Holidays Jared is having, and he knows Jensen feels the same. Why? Because he's told him. Numerous times.
Act Two
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